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  1. #31
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    May 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by bookboarder View Post
    Even with no psychological help or intervention it is possible not to continue the cycle. I was too fearful to report what was happening to anyone. My abuser was my father's treasured nephew and I knew as a mere "step-daughter" that I would not get anywhere.

    I kept it inside for many, many years. Upon working up the courage [with a little pinot grigio] I attempted to tell my mother what he had done to me for years. She told me to, "Shut the f*ck up," left the room and ended the conversation.

    I was repeatedly refused psychological help as a child, and a young adult. Finally, at 18 I sought out help for my depression and managed to survive into a mostly well-functioning adult.

    My father passed away a couple of weeks ago and I had to go to California and endure sharing my childhood home with this piece of $hit. Because there was already so much emotion and drama encircling me I had to grin and bear it. It was very hard.

    I suffer from severe chronic depression, GAD and PTSD and yet managed not to kill the man who did this to me [I was 11 when it began; he was 17]. I also would never harm a child. I have two sons and would likely end up in jail for murder if I discovered anything of that nature happened/happening to them.

    Yes, there are major problems that stem from systematic abuse. However, we have the choice and the power, no matter how daunting our position as survivors may seem.

    Everything was against me, I should have been one to perpetuate the cycle but I refused. People need to stop excusing this cycle and realize as humans we have the ability to choose our actions and refuse what seems likely.

    If I was able to do it, anyone can. I'm not the strongest person in the world, but some things are just completely abhorrent and cannot be tolerated no matter what someone has gone through.
    Great post❤
    I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, been there. Right down to being a
    " mere stepdaughter " myself.

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  2. #32
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    Apr 2010
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    I wonder what Dottie will say about this. Will she still be in denial?
    Any man's death diminishes me,
    Because I am involved in mankind,
    Therefore, send not to know, for whom the bell tolls;
    It tolls for thee.
    ~John Dunne


    #TeamCivilization

  3. #33
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    Jun 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by KentuckyKaren View Post
    Was this the son that came forward at the last minute as one of Jerry's victims? I remember being totally convinced of Jerry's guilt when even his own son came forward. Not that it's any "worse" but just that it convinced me the others were not just after a settlement, because his son had nothing to gain from it. I think this must be the same son, unless he adopted multiple boys.
    No. That was Matt. Jeffrey actually defended Jerry and said that he was innocent.

  4. #34
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    Apr 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by dexter75 View Post
    I have a question/statement
    Does anyone know WHY it is that abused children are likely to be revictimized?
    I'm genuinely asking as it breaks my heart��

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    There are biological studies on hippocampal brain changes that happen for women (ttps://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/div-classtitlehippocampal-volume-in-women-victimized-by-childhood-sexual-abusediv/F4CB63A9A69EEAB4377CC2C4F43E115D) that suggest a shrinkage which may be from trauma. There are attachment studies that suggest that there are issues with regulation and effect on judgement. I saw a great video on the effect of parent screaming/anger on the brains of young children (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4zP...a3I8LiYxv-nq1D) I have done some graduate and postgraduate work in this area. It is fascinating and terrifying at the same time. No definitive answers but the potential impact on brain development is something to really study going forward.

  5. #35
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    Aug 2008
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lawdog99 View Post
    The Sandusky's need to swallow their pride, money or anything they have left in this generational family and stand up and do the right thing, or we will continue to see this name in the news and in the Justice System. Hope some type of LE is watching them all. JMO

    I think that is impossible for them. Jeffrey actually dd an interview of how Jerry was innocent:


    What happened to former Centre County DA Ray Gricar?

  6. #36
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    May 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaen View Post
    There are biological studies on hippocampal brain changes that happen for women (ttps://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/div-classtitlehippocampal-volume-in-women-victimized-by-childhood-sexual-abusediv/F4CB63A9A69EEAB4377CC2C4F43E115D) that suggest a shrinkage which may be from trauma. There are attachment studies that suggest that there are issues with regulation and effect on judgement. I saw a great video on the effect of parent screaming/anger on the brains of young children (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4zP...a3I8LiYxv-nq1D) I have done some graduate and postgraduate work in this area. It is fascinating and terrifying at the same time. No definitive answers but the potential impact on brain development is something to really study going forward.
    Interesting, I had no idea.
    Thank you❤😉

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  7. #37
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    Matt Sandusky was the one came forward uring the trial. See my post above.


    What happened to former Centre County DA Ray Gricar?

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    Pretty sickening - and I remember when Matt came forth with accusations against his adopted father back in 2012.

    I guess what I find a little peculiar about all this and the Sandusky family in general is this:

    I understand that it is extremely difficult to adopt a child here in the United States (and most likely, with this sort of thing in mind).

    Something needs to change. Yes, it is always difficult to break a destructive family-based cycle (been there lived that) many time it takes therapy (been there done that) and will not always be successful.

    A lot of it has to do with the individuals involved, their resiliency, and knowing their limits. That last one possibly the most important.

    But I feel sorry for all the kids who were victims here.
    Last edited by MaryG12; 02-13-2017 at 10:05 PM. Reason: Broken link not working

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by J. J. in Phila View Post
    I think that is impossible for them. Jeffrey actually dd an interview of how Jerry was innocent:
    They wish to just sweep this scandalous behavior out the door. This is a huge mess for the family.

    DS plays with her many bracelets while her son speaks. Why does she ignore his words?

    DS makes me feel ill. This happened under her roof.

  10. #40
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    Jul 2011
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    Angry

    Jerry Sandusky saga is far from over. Its gets worse and worse.




    HMS Hood
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    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941


  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectingpink View Post
    This is what I am thinking, too. Did he adopt the children for his own sick reasons? Is his wife still standing by him?
    I always thought Jerry Sandusky abused his own adopted and foster children.

    Just look at Matt Sandusky.




    HMS Hood
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    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
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  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minette View Post
    This is likely an unpopular opinion, but I have even LESS sympathy for abusers who were themselves abused because they KNOW exactly the fear, shame and self-hatred their actions cause and they choose to do it anyway. I will never believe that anyone has an unalterable destiny to abuse a child. My reasons are deeply personal, but they won't change.
    So true. They are likely injustice collectors and lashing out.




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minette View Post
    This is likely an unpopular opinion, but I have even LESS sympathy for abusers who were themselves abused because they KNOW exactly the fear, shame and self-hatred their actions cause and they choose to do it anyway. I will never believe that anyone has an unalterable destiny to abuse a child. My reasons are deeply personal, but they won't change.
    I don't disagree with you, but I also think that if people stay in deep denial about the abuse rather than dealing with it, bad stuff tends to happen.


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  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lawdog99 View Post
    imo yes and yes. Each one should have been in counseling years ago, all children ever involved in this family and also criminals charges should have and should be brought against the condoning mrs. Sandusky. Again jmo, but if i were the wife of one of those boys, i would step back and open my eyes and heart if they have not already. No excuses, disgusting!
    I couldn't agree more about Mrs. Sandusky. That is some powerful denial she's got going on there, at the very least.


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  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by KentuckyKaren View Post
    Was this the son that came forward at the last minute as one of Jerry's victims? I remember being totally convinced of Jerry's guilt when even his own son came forward. Not that it's any "worse" but just that it convinced me the others were not just after a settlement, because his son had nothing to gain from it. I think this must be the same son, unless he adopted multiple boys.
    Different son. This one stood by his pos father.


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