1201 users online (161 members and 1040 guests)  


Websleuths News


Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    16,468

    Family of 12-year-old who committed suicide after cyberbullying to sue school

    Dianne and Seth Grossman announced that they planned to sue the Rockaway Township School District, claiming officials there failed to stop abuse that they believe led to Mallory's death.

    In addition, the family is contemplating taking legal action against the parents of the students who allegedly bullied Mallory as well.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...ter/532165001/
    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/...ar-old-n788506


  2. #2
    I hope this is not considered victim blaming, but what rationale do parents like these give for continuing to allow their (young not even teenage) child access to social media when they find what is posted there offensive enough to notify the school multiple times? I don't have children, but I have considered this topic. If my 12 year old child were getting beat up at a bowling alley regularly, I would not allow my child to go to that bowling alley. There are phones where parents can allow emergency calls only. No need for an iphone with social media access.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,701
    poor Mallory rip

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    63° 22'N 32° 17'W (It's In The Abyss.)
    Posts
    3,593
    I suspect envy or extreme jealousy mixed with resentment is what drove those bullies. Something I have seen in the past with Lori Drew, South Hadley 6, Andres Arturo Villagomez and Karinthya Sanchez Romero, and Michelle Carter.

    No surprise that envy drives bullying.
    https://nobullying.com/envy/

    Unsurprisingly, envy often drives people to commit murder, mass murder, and terrorism like with Jodi Arias, Elliot Rodger, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, Adam Lanza, Seung-Hui Cho, Omar Mateen, and Osama bin Laden.

    Envy drove them to extreme rage.

    Murderous Envy
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...murderous-envy
    Last edited by HMSHood; 08-02-2017 at 11:50 PM.




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    171
    Quote Originally Posted by Wrigley's_Human View Post
    I hope this is not considered victim blaming, but what rationale do parents like these give for continuing to allow their (young not even teenage) child access to social media when they find what is posted there offensive enough to notify the school multiple times? I don't have children, but I have considered this topic. If my 12 year old child were getting beat up at a bowling alley regularly, I would not allow my child to go to that bowling alley. There are phones where parents can allow emergency calls only. No need for an iphone with social media access.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
    I respectfully disagree with your viewpoint.

    You are saying that a person being bullied should:

    1) Avoid the bowling alley, even if all of their friends go there.

    2) Avoid having an electronic device that might allow others to bully them.

    And, as stated in their parents interview, they were looking into changing schools.

    Why should they need to change schools?

    Sadly, as we have seen in so many of these incidents, the offenders thought it was all a big joke. They refused to back down, and ended up pushing the victim to a breaking point.

    We have no access to the things being said, and done, to this young child. Every bit of it should come out, and shine a spotlight on the ugliness in the bullies' hearts.

    We (currently) have no access to the environment in the bullies lives; and why they would treat young Mallory in the manner they did.

    Perhaps a trial would give all of us more insight, into what drives a bully to keep pushing their victim.

    Mallory, her family, and her community, were all victims in this case. We cannot ever forget that.
    We are here to help. I will do my best to not cause any hindrance, in any manner.
    I will at times, "think out loud." I have done this since I can remember.
    I will share my opinions. Thoughts. Insights. And I encourage everyone else to do the same.
    Let's find them, and bring them home!

    We Are All One Human Race!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    44,953
    Quote Originally Posted by Wrigley's_Human View Post
    I hope this is not considered victim blaming, but what rationale do parents like these give for continuing to allow their (young not even teenage) child access to social media when they find what is posted there offensive enough to notify the school multiple times? I don't have children, but I have considered this topic. If my 12 year old child were getting beat up at a bowling alley regularly, I would not allow my child to go to that bowling alley. There are phones where parents can allow emergency calls only. No need for an iphone with social media access.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
    I understand what you are saying. But the problem is that you want your child to be able to communicate and take part in the social activities that their friends do. So if you take away the ability to speak by IMs, or post messages to other students, then you are shutting them off from the positive experiences too.

    With 20/20 hindsight, that might have been the best decision, but at the time, they probably though that being able to talk to her positive friends was important too.
    “Every day that they don’t find something is good for me.“ Billie Dunn

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,798
    I think it's not just about taking away Mallory's phone, or let's say the victim's phone. It's about the bullies having access to THEIR phones, and their friends, and things that are being said to other children in the school about the victim, and what the other school kids are reading/saying/hearing/witnessing. It has next to nothing to do with whether or not the victim, herself, actually has seen them first hand on social media. Kids can be very very cruel. All it takes is 5 kids to stare at her as she walks down the hall to ruin a person's self-esteem, especially NOT knowing what they DO know, it's a killer.
    Thank you, Saint Jude, for favors received.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    63° 22'N 32° 17'W (It's In The Abyss.)
    Posts
    3,593
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim_M View Post
    I respectfully disagree with your viewpoint.

    You are saying that a person being bullied should:

    1) Avoid the bowling alley, even if all of their friends go there.

    2) Avoid having an electronic device that might allow others to bully them.

    And, as stated in their parents interview, they were looking into changing schools.

    Why should they need to change schools?

    Sadly, as we have seen in so many of these incidents, the offenders thought it was all a big joke. They refused to back down, and ended up pushing the victim to a breaking point.

    We have no access to the things being said, and done, to this young child. Every bit of it should come out, and shine a spotlight on the ugliness in the bullies' hearts.

    We (currently) have no access to the environment in the bullies lives; and why they would treat young Mallory in the manner they did.

    Perhaps a trial would give all of us more insight, into what drives a bully to keep pushing their victim.

    Mallory, her family, and her community, were all victims in this case. We cannot ever forget that.
    Quote Originally Posted by katydid23 View Post
    I understand what you are saying. But the problem is that you want your child to be able to communicate and take part in the social activities that their friends do. So if you take away the ability to speak by IMs, or post messages to other students, then you are shutting them off from the positive experiences too.

    With 20/20 hindsight, that might have been the best decision, but at the time, they probably though that being able to talk to her positive friends was important too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gnatcatcher View Post
    I think it's not just about taking away Mallory's phone, or let's say the victim's phone. It's about the bullies having access to THEIR phones, and their friends, and things that are being said to other children in the school about the victim, and what the other school kids are reading/saying/hearing/witnessing. It has next to nothing to do with whether or not the victim, herself, actually has seen them first hand on social media. Kids can be very very cruel. All it takes is 5 kids to stare at her as she walks down the hall to ruin a person's self-esteem, especially NOT knowing what they DO know, it's a killer.
    Exactly. The bullying happened at school and in person.




    HMS Hood
    Mighty Hood
    Pennant Number: 51
    Motto: Ventis Secundis ("With Favourable Winds")
    May 15, 1920-May 24, 1941

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    3,515
    Quote Originally Posted by Gnatcatcher View Post
    I think it's not just about taking away Mallory's phone, or let's say the victim's phone. It's about the bullies having access to THEIR phones, and their friends, and things that are being said to other children in the school about the victim, and what the other school kids are reading/saying/hearing/witnessing. It has next to nothing to do with whether or not the victim, herself, actually has seen them first hand on social media. Kids can be very very cruel. All it takes is 5 kids to stare at her as she walks down the hall to ruin a person's self-esteem, especially NOT knowing what they DO know, it's a killer.
    BBM

    Exactly. An associate's daughter did the same, as a very young teen. It was before anyone really knew about cyber bullying (but cyber bullying started almost as soon as the internet opened up to the public). It was all over kids being cruel, same as they were to this child. She was a pretty girl, who seemed popular, and well-liked, but a few got it in for her, and it wasn't til after, that her parents knew how bad it was for her. The school can't be held responsible though. The school's hands are tied. They might could stop them from verbal attacks on school property but cyber attacks can happen anytime the children had access to a computer and that access can be gained nearly anywhere now. Have a library card? Have access to a computer. Friend with a cell phone? Have access. I have been in I.T. since before there were hard drives in p.c.s. I installed locking software, and set up individual logins, with keyword locks, timers, and parental review logs, because I knew what was out there. I had one kid that could still breach nearly any parenting software package that I put on there, so I had to be one step ahead at all times. This was before kids had laptops, ipads, and smartphone, at reasonable costs, and at arms length everywhere they went. So I only had to worry about one desktop. Maybe it should be just great fun to get on the internet and chat with your friends and never worry about bad things, but, there's lots of bad things on the internet. Mine hated me for my computer rules.

    Let me live, so when it's time to die, even the Reaper cries. . . ~ RHCP

    (Unless there's a link, it's just a my own 2˘.)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    1,658
    Quote Originally Posted by Wrigley's_Human View Post
    I hope this is not considered victim blaming, but what rationale do parents like these give for continuing to allow their (young not even teenage) child access to social media when they find what is posted there offensive enough to notify the school multiple times? I don't have children, but I have considered this topic. If my 12 year old child were getting beat up at a bowling alley regularly, I would not allow my child to go to that bowling alley. There are phones where parents can allow emergency calls only. No need for an iphone with social media access.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
    I agree. I would never victim blame either. in the old days, there was a phone on the wall and my parents answered the phone. They knew who was calling me and knew who I was talking with and what I was exposed to. Bullying is horrible. Very young children on social media scares me.


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    11
    children have it so rough these days

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    14
    Quote Originally Posted by Wrigley's_Human View Post
    I hope this is not considered victim blaming, but what rationale do parents like these give for continuing to allow their (young not even teenage) child access to social media when they find what is posted there offensive enough to notify the school multiple times? I don't have children, but I have considered this topic. If my 12 year old child were getting beat up at a bowling alley regularly, I would not allow my child to go to that bowling alley. There are phones where parents can allow emergency calls only. No need for an iphone with social media access.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
    I'm sorry. I can't let this go. First of all, if you have to qualify a statement by saying you hope something isn't considered victim bashing you most probably are, indeed, victim bashing. What you are suggesting these parents should have done or even admonishing these parents for failing to do is punish the victim.
    I assume you would be outraged is someone told a rape victim she should have chosen a more modest outfit or she should not have gone to the bar/club/party she went to where the rape took place. You would rightfully place the blame where it belonged, on the rapist. You would say he should not have raped her. So how is this different?
    This girl was bullied by text, social media, and in person on school grounds. So she should be banned from her phone (now she is without help should the bullies see her in person)and her social media, all the ways kids communicate with each other. By doing this she also loses any support she has out there. She should lose computer privileges for the same reasons. But wait, the bullies still have ALL their privileges.
    This girl should also stop going to school where she is an excellent student and stop participating in sports. So as a victim she loses her right to an education and the extra curriculars that accompany school. But wait, the bullies still GET TO go to school.

    Why on earth are we, in 2017, still punishing the victim and blaming the parents for not punishing the victim and acting as if the bullies are just a fact of life and bear no responsibility to act like DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

    I realize that you do not have children yet, but someday you will understand that if you have a child who is being bullied in any fashion, you as the parent are in a no win situation. It is agonizing. You want to take them away from the nastiness, take their pain away, protect them from mean words, you want to punish the bullies, you want to beat on their parents, you want the school to stop calmly saying "we will look into it" and then do nothing, you want to force your child to fight back, you want to cry. And you can do none of that. You can only give your child encouragement and support and love, and hope the people who can do something step up and do it.

    So to make a long rant longer, if you have kids and they are getting beat up at the bowling alley you will not keep your child home. You will march down to the bowling alley and demand that the guilty parties be punished and banned from the bowling alley. You may have to go with your kids to the bowling alley for a while, but make sure the right children are being punished.

    TL;DR
    Girls shouldn't be told how to dress or walk or where to go so as not to bring on a rape. Boys should be taught rape is wrong. Don't do it. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.
    Kids shouldn't be kept from their phones and SM and school so as not to bring on bullying. Kids should be taught bullying is wrong. Don't do it. Anywhere. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    171
    Quote Originally Posted by 2manyhorses View Post
    I'm sorry. I can't let this go. First of all, if you have to qualify a statement by saying you hope something isn't considered victim bashing you most probably are, indeed, victim bashing. What you are suggesting these parents should have done or even admonishing these parents for failing to do is punish the victim.
    I assume you would be outraged is someone told a rape victim she should have chosen a more modest outfit or she should not have gone to the bar/club/party she went to where the rape took place. You would rightfully place the blame where it belonged, on the rapist. You would say he should not have raped her. So how is this different?
    This girl was bullied by text, social media, and in person on school grounds. So she should be banned from her phone (now she is without help should the bullies see her in person)and her social media, all the ways kids communicate with each other. By doing this she also loses any support she has out there. She should lose computer privileges for the same reasons. But wait, the bullies still have ALL their privileges.
    This girl should also stop going to school where she is an excellent student and stop participating in sports. So as a victim she loses her right to an education and the extra curriculars that accompany school. But wait, the bullies still GET TO go to school.

    Why on earth are we, in 2017, still punishing the victim and blaming the parents for not punishing the victim and acting as if the bullies are just a fact of life and bear no responsibility to act like DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

    I realize that you do not have children yet, but someday you will understand that if you have a child who is being bullied in any fashion, you as the parent are in a no win situation. It is agonizing. You want to take them away from the nastiness, take their pain away, protect them from mean words, you want to punish the bullies, you want to beat on their parents, you want the school to stop calmly saying "we will look into it" and then do nothing, you want to force your child to fight back, you want to cry. And you can do none of that. You can only give your child encouragement and support and love, and hope the people who can do something step up and do it.

    So to make a long rant longer, if you have kids and they are getting beat up at the bowling alley you will not keep your child home. You will march down to the bowling alley and demand that the guilty parties be punished and banned from the bowling alley. You may have to go with your kids to the bowling alley for a while, but make sure the right children are being punished.

    TL;DR
    Girls shouldn't be told how to dress or walk or where to go so as not to bring on a rape. Boys should be taught rape is wrong. Don't do it. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.
    Kids shouldn't be kept from their phones and SM and school so as not to bring on bullying. Kids should be taught bullying is wrong. Don't do it. Anywhere. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.
    Please copy & paste and send this to every news station (Twitter?!), School System, and Parent, that you know. With instructions to share it out to the world. And, while we're at it, let's end War! Make Peace & Love, Not War!

    Rant over. I seriously agree with EVERYTHING that you wrote, 2ManyHorses. I think I got that right? I so wish we could find the way to get rid of the evil in people's hearts. Sigh.
    We are here to help. I will do my best to not cause any hindrance, in any manner.
    I will at times, "think out loud." I have done this since I can remember.
    I will share my opinions. Thoughts. Insights. And I encourage everyone else to do the same.
    Let's find them, and bring them home!

    We Are All One Human Race!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    3,515
    Quote Originally Posted by 2manyhorses View Post
    I'm sorry. I can't let this go. First of all, if you have to qualify a statement by saying you hope something isn't considered victim bashing you most probably are, indeed, victim bashing. What you are suggesting these parents should have done or even admonishing these parents for failing to do is punish the victim.
    I assume you would be outraged is someone told a rape victim she should have chosen a more modest outfit or she should not have gone to the bar/club/party she went to where the rape took place. You would rightfully place the blame where it belonged, on the rapist. You would say he should not have raped her. So how is this different?
    This girl was bullied by text, social media, and in person on school grounds. So she should be banned from her phone (now she is without help should the bullies see her in person)and her social media, all the ways kids communicate with each other. By doing this she also loses any support she has out there. She should lose computer privileges for the same reasons. But wait, the bullies still have ALL their privileges.
    This girl should also stop going to school where she is an excellent student and stop participating in sports. So as a victim she loses her right to an education and the extra curriculars that accompany school. But wait, the bullies still GET TO go to school.

    Why on earth are we, in 2017, still punishing the victim and blaming the parents for not punishing the victim and acting as if the bullies are just a fact of life and bear no responsibility to act like DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

    I realize that you do not have children yet, but someday you will understand that if you have a child who is being bullied in any fashion, you as the parent are in a no win situation. It is agonizing. You want to take them away from the nastiness, take their pain away, protect them from mean words, you want to punish the bullies, you want to beat on their parents, you want the school to stop calmly saying "we will look into it" and then do nothing, you want to force your child to fight back, you want to cry. And you can do none of that. You can only give your child encouragement and support and love, and hope the people who can do something step up and do it.

    So to make a long rant longer, if you have kids and they are getting beat up at the bowling alley you will not keep your child home. You will march down to the bowling alley and demand that the guilty parties be punished and banned from the bowling alley. You may have to go with your kids to the bowling alley for a while, but make sure the right children are being punished.

    TL;DR
    Girls shouldn't be told how to dress or walk or where to go so as not to bring on a rape. Boys should be taught rape is wrong. Don't do it. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.
    Kids shouldn't be kept from their phones and SM and school so as not to bring on bullying. Kids should be taught bullying is wrong. Don't do it. Anywhere. You will be quickly and strongly punished if you do.
    As someone who has been in the computer/tech industry for a very, very, long time, I personally would not allow a 12 year old to have unfettered access to the internet, nor would the bullies be permitted to have access to my child's s.m. if it were anything more than a spat between friends. IF I had a 12 year old who had a FB, their FB would be monitored, as I stated in my previous post, with a parental monitoring software tool(s) of some type. Not because I am a controlling, helicopter style, mean, un-trusting, parent, but because I know what is out there and what it can do to a pre-teen / teen (I've seen the internet ruin adults' careers because of poor choices, or impulsive choices.). Restriction of the porn purveyors, and perverts, alone, is worth the price of the software. The monitoring software's data logs come in very handy if one ever needs proof of harassment to take to other parents, the school, or even to LE if it goes that far. There's time-stamps on the logs (at least the one's I used had them) to show when they and the kids they are communicating with, are getting online. The time-stamp allows you to see when the bully is getting online to send their attacks, which would narrow down WHERE they are getting online.

    Bullying is not the only concern with allowing children to roam freely on the internet. You wouldn't send your child out to play, on a street that you knew had pedophiles living on it, would you, so why would you send them out into the world wide web, unprotected, where they can readily be approached by those same pedophiles, sent porn over their I.M., be coaxed to meet a new "friend" at the park across town, not to mention be emotionally abused to the point of suicide? The internet requires the growth of a tough skin for adults.

    There is parental software available for phones, laptops, desktops, etc... There should be a push to make parents more aware of the types of monitoring software that is available to them. You don't have to read your child's every conversation, but you can scan logs for "keywords", and if you see those keywords, decide whether to read the logs, or not. It is a big, and sometimes dangerous, world out there online, and parents have to educate themselves in how to protect their children from those dangers. I have personally used Kaspersky and Net Nanny, although it has been quite a few years ago, so I can't vouch for either of them in 2017, but they were of great assistance to me, when my kids were young.

    Here are some of the parental software packages available today. Some of them have the social media monitoring tools that I used to track my kid's activities, and s.m., back in the day, in addition, in our home, there were no "private" passwords to their sm account(s), our home was not a democracy. If you used the p.c., I had the right to see what was being sent, and received, browsed, or downloaded, on their profiles, at any time I wished. It was not punishment, it was protection.

    If it were today, and on FB, and someone started bullying one of my kids, that person would be removed from, and restricted from, their friend lists (if they didn't get the picture after that, then I'd likely take a copy of the software logs to their parents, and have a sit down with them, and see how it went from there). It's a very tight rope to walk, because how one handles it, can determine whether your child becomes even further ostracized, or can comfortably walk the halls, at school, at the end of the day.

    https://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2346997,00.asp

    Let me live, so when it's time to die, even the Reaper cries. . . ~ RHCP

    (Unless there's a link, it's just a my own 2˘.)



Similar Threads

  1. TX, Brandy Vela, 18, Dec 4, 2016, driven to suicide by cyberbullying
    By PrimeSuspect in forum Bullies and Stalkers
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-17-2017, 12:19 AM
  2. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-19-2014, 08:03 AM
  3. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-11-2013, 10:30 PM
  4. Family blames bullying in 10-year-old girl's suicide
    By peeples in forum Bullies and Stalkers
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-18-2011, 12:36 PM