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  1. #16
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    Not trying to defend anyone, but it's certainly possible that things could have changed in a the year or so since she was adopted. Maybe she was stressed about the big change in her life, maybe other trauma started to show up in her behavior. I don't necessarily think it's impossible that she developed some kind of 'feeding' issue in the last year.

  2. #17
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    One thing that’s been bothering me is the report that this sweet girl had eating problems while in the home yet was fine outside of it.

    This is weird, to be honest. I’ve dealt with children and eating issues due to employment at a daycare-preschool. When a child had food issues it was 24/7. It didn’t go away due to location UNLESS it was a mental issue.

    I can’t help thinking that food was used as a punishment for little Sherin or that she regarded food in the home as “bad”. Meaning was she given food after abuse, or abused then given food?

    She probably wouldn’t have that fear outside of the home, she would have felt safe and had no issues eating.


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  3. #18
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    May 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by oceanblueeyes View Post
    I think entire 'she didn't want to drink her milk' is another lie to cover up what was actually being done to Sherin. Imo, she wasn't in that garage being forced to drink her milk. He had her there because it would be out of range for anyone to hear or see what was really happening to Sherin.

    JMO
    This makes me sick to my stomach (bold by me).

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilac22 View Post
    Where I'm from expecting parents are offered classes that teach them first aid they may need to implement in emergency situations, such as CPR and the baby heimlich, and most first time parents take them. Are these also offered in the US, specifically in Texas? I know mum would have been able to provide treatment to Sherin, but I'm wondering if dad would have also had the skills to try and help her?


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    Yes, most hospitals offer them to first-time parents.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlett12 View Post
    One thing that’s been bothering me is the report that this sweet girl had eating problems while in the home yet was fine outside of it.

    This is weird, to be honest. I’ve dealt with children and eating issues due to employment at a daycare-preschool. When a child had food issues it was 24/7. It didn’t go away due to location UNLESS it was a mental issue.

    I can’t help thinking that food was used as a punishment for little Sherin or that she regarded food in the home as “bad”. Meaning was she given food after abuse, or abused then given food?

    She probably wouldn’t have that fear outside of the home, she would have felt safe and had no issues eating.


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    Or something was happening to her that was bothering her throat or stomach, making it unpleasant or painful to eat.

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaimeInLA View Post
    Or something was happening to her that was bothering her throat or stomach, making it unpleasant or painful to eat.
    What? While only in her home?

    If something was bothering her throat and or stomach it didn’t magically get better when she was away from home.. unless she was in a bad situation in her home.


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  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocco View Post
    Unless something was going on in the home that caused her to develop an eating disorder. Maybe someone familiar with what those possibilities could be, could speak to that.
    I posted on this in the last thread, regarding eating issues and adopted children. It is common for adopted children to have struggles with either eating too much, or with not eating enough. Here it is:
    The social worker who visited Sherin Mathew's family for follow-ups records that "eating has become more and more challenging for the family". "She likes to eat food outside but not at home".
    The fourth, and the last report before Sherin's death, notes, "We discussed several different strategies that may be helpful" and that "additional mealtime strategies are needed to break this cycle and avoid more serious long term eating concerns".
    The social worker also recommended "webinars and other resource for feeding issues in adopted children that may be helpful in developing different strategies for Saraswati's (as she was known before her adoption) feeding concerns".
    https://www.outlookindia.com/newsscr...issues/1175180

    Perhaps articles like these, which talk about patience, letting children choose to eat, not forcing, etc....
    https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/ado...pted-children/
    http://www.chop.edu/conditions-disea...oster-children

    I found this article to be especially interesting (see quote below) https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...-katja-rowell/
    First there may be a challenge “from” the child, like reflux, cleft palate, a history of a drug or alcohol exposure, or any condition that leads to pain, discomfort or mechanical difficulties with eating.
    Second is environmental factors: a child who is not attached to a care-taker won’t eat well, a child who has experienced abuse or neglect around feeding will be more challenging to feed. For example, an eighteen month-old who has only had a bottle with thickened liquids will be behind in her oral-motor skills.
    Often, there is a combination of factors. Perhaps a child was punished by withholding food, or only was exposed to a limited range of foods and so has anxieties around eating. Stress, chaos, anxiety, poverty and food insecurity play a big role in shaping a child’s early relationship with food. These are occurrences that are simply more common in the more vulnerable population of children in foster care or who were adopted.

    What this makes me think is that feeding issues can develop as a response to abuse, and feeding issues can lead to a cycle of control and punishment. JMO
    Last edited by georgiajean; 10-27-2017 at 12:18 PM. Reason: add

  8. #23
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    Oct 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by osu View Post
    K-9 Handlers Who Found Sherin Mathews Share Their Story

    ~snip
    Sunday, five pairs of volunteers and dogs from MARK9 responded to another request from Richardson police to search for Sherin again. Searchers say the weather conditions were ideal. Overnight rain along with a breezy and humid morning helped dogs pick up the scent.

    One K-9 led her handler to a field north of the Mathews home and eventually to the culvert where investigators found the small child's body.

    "She started doing it from a long way off, and it wasn't an area she was supposed to be looking in, but that's how it concluded," said Seevers, of the K-9's path. "She found her way there. One of the things we have to do is we have to believe in them and she took us there."
    ~snip

    More at link:
    http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/K-9...#ixzz4wiL5aNCb
    So, literally it was K9's and their handlers that found her...... instead of LE?

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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by i8mypaint View Post
    This is what I don’t get either, she left the orphanage eating and drinking normally and then this... It just doesn’t make sense.


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    I believe that there are multiple things going on. One is that the information from the Indian authorities has slant towards them saying that they did everything right on their end. According to one earlier account (in one of the Indian newspapers I recall), there was a description of Sherin's eager participation in receiving milk, noting that they only had enough for a limited number of children.

    Pictures from the orphanage or the adoption celebration show a child whose head looks somewhat disproportional (large) to the body. This to me reinforces the accounts (most recent in the Social Worker's adoption follow-up report) that point to malnourishment at the time of adoption. Also, multiple posts here have suggested that children in Indian orphanages, or orphanages in many countries where caring resources are limited and stretched, develop various expectations about food--that there won't be enough, that they have to eat quickly (or take a bottle quickly) before the caregiver has to move on to another child. So, they may have seen a child who ate well as it was available, but still wasn't getting enough nourishment.

    There has been a lot of speculation about the possibility of some emergent swallowing disorder. Could be. It is also not infrequent for children adopted either from orphanages or neglectful homes to carry scars forward in the form of eating disorders, including hoarding of food.

    Further, parents who tend to be success-driven or oriented in their own lives may have difficulty in giving children appropriate space to work through problems. Which leads to my own personal theory, which is that mealtime may have become something of a battleground at home owing to legitimate concerns around malnourishment, growth and development. Of course, this only makes things worse. Many parents (and teachers, relatives and onlookers) subscribe to the belief that "good" parents are able to "make" their children do what they are supposed to. Many believe strongly in corporal punishment.

    Not saying this to give anyone an excuse, Merely trying to paste together the things we do know into some kind of cohesive pattern.

  10. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by osu View Post
    K-9 Handlers Who Found Sherin Mathews Share Their Story

    ~snip
    Sunday, five pairs of volunteers and dogs from MARK9 responded to another request from Richardson police to search for Sherin again. Searchers say the weather conditions were ideal. Overnight rain along with a breezy and humid morning helped dogs pick up the scent.

    One K-9 led her handler to a field north of the Mathews home and eventually to the culvert where investigators found the small child's body.

    "She started doing it from a long way off, and it wasn't an area she was supposed to be looking in, but that's how it concluded," said Seevers, of the K-9's path. "She found her way there. One of the things we have to do is we have to believe in them and she took us there."
    ~snip

    More at link:
    http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/K-9...#ixzz4wiL5aNCb
    This part stuck in my head and made me wonder how this works. For the dog to pick up the scent does that mean she followed a trail of where Sherin had been— as in walked or had been carried— or just that the dog could pick up the scent from that far off? I have a coonhound, and he can smell from a distance, but not that distance unless there’s a scent trail to follow, but he’s not a trained dog or anything.

    ETA: HAD been carried. I don’t know why I wrote hadn’t.
    Last edited by CanadianWells; 10-27-2017 at 12:28 PM.


  11. #26
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    Oct 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by Margo/Mom View Post
    I believe that there are multiple things going on. One is that the information from the Indian authorities has slant towards them saying that they did everything right on their end. According to one earlier account (in one of the Indian newspapers I recall), there was a description of Sherin's eager participation in receiving milk, noting that they only had enough for a limited number of children.

    Pictures from the orphanage or the adoption celebration show a child whose head looks somewhat disproportional (large) to the body. This to me reinforces the accounts (most recent in the Social Worker's adoption follow-up report) that point to malnourishment at the time of adoption. Also, multiple posts here have suggested that children in Indian orphanages, or orphanages in many countries where caring resources are limited and stretched, develop various expectations about food--that there won't be enough, that they have to eat quickly (or take a bottle quickly) before the caregiver has to move on to another child. So, they may have seen a child who ate well as it was available, but still wasn't getting enough nourishment.

    There has been a lot of speculation about the possibility of some emergent swallowing disorder. Could be. It is also not infrequent for children adopted either from orphanages or neglectful homes to carry scars forward in the form of eating disorders, including hoarding of food.

    Further, parents who tend to be success-driven or oriented in their own lives may have difficulty in giving children appropriate space to work through problems. Which leads to my own personal theory, which is that mealtime may have become something of a battleground at home owing to legitimate concerns around malnourishment, growth and development. Of course, this only makes things worse. Many parents (and teachers, relatives and onlookers) subscribe to the belief that "good" parents are able to "make" their children do what they are supposed to. Many believe strongly in corporal punishment.

    Not saying this to give anyone an excuse, Merely trying to paste together the things we do know into some kind of cohesive pattern.
    IIRC: She was eager for the milk, there was only enough for 50 children.

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  12. #27
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    Each time I hear about Sherin and eating difficulties I think back to what my mother told me. I was the only child of older parents. She used to tell me I was a "terrible" eater. If there was a food that I would eat my parents would make sure there was plenty of it. Of course, by that time it was no longer something I wanted. She mentioned it to the pediatrician who wisely told her he had never seen a child willingly starve themselves, back off and I would be fine. (Note this was back in the late 50's, that school of thought has probably changed, by now) As a child I was always smaller than the other kids. That was the "norm" for me. Obviously I didn't starve to death and am still here to tell the story. I have always been a person that eats when I'm hungry not necessarily because it's "meal time". Just a thought on Sherin's "eating problems".

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Margo/Mom View Post
    I believe that there are multiple things going on. One is that the information from the Indian authorities has slant towards them saying that they did everything right on their end. According to one earlier account (in one of the Indian newspapers I recall), there was a description of Sherin's eager participation in receiving milk, noting that they only had enough for a limited number of children.

    Pictures from the orphanage or the adoption celebration show a child whose head looks somewhat disproportional (large) to the body. This to me reinforces the accounts (most recent in the Social Worker's adoption follow-up report) that point to malnourishment at the time of adoption. Also, multiple posts here have suggested that children in Indian orphanages, or orphanages in many countries where caring resources are limited and stretched, develop various expectations about food--that there won't be enough, that they have to eat quickly (or take a bottle quickly) before the caregiver has to move on to another child. So, they may have seen a child who ate well as it was available, but still wasn't getting enough nourishment.

    There has been a lot of speculation about the possibility of some emergent swallowing disorder. Could be. It is also not infrequent for children adopted either from orphanages or neglectful homes to carry scars forward in the form of eating disorders, including hoarding of food.

    Further, parents who tend to be success-driven or oriented in their own lives may have difficulty in giving children appropriate space to work through problems. Which leads to my own personal theory, which is that mealtime may have become something of a battleground at home owing to legitimate concerns around malnourishment, growth and development. Of course, this only makes things worse. Many parents (and teachers, relatives and onlookers) subscribe to the belief that "good" parents are able to "make" their children do what they are supposed to. Many believe strongly in corporal punishment.

    Not saying this to give anyone an excuse, Merely trying to paste together the things we do know into some kind of cohesive pattern.
    Most excellent post. Thanks for all of this thinking. I think you are accurate on so many levels.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianWells View Post
    This part stuck in my head and made me wonder how this works. For the dog to pick up the scent does that mean she followed a trail of where Sherin had been— as in walked or hadn’t been carried— or just that the dog could pick up the scent from that far off? I have a coonhound, and he can smell from a distance, but not that distance unless there’s a scent trail to follow.
    Just Wow

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  15. #30
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    Maybe Sherin was fretting for her "nani" back in India? When human beings grieve for someone they develop eating/appetite problems. No one knows how Sherin would of felt about all that because she was too young to verbalise her feelings to that extent.
    *FREE LEONARD PELTIER*
    Justice for an innocent man.

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