Mini Research Project-Women Meeting Men Through the Internet

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Kelly

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I know this isn't quite on topic, but a woman wrote to me today and I need to find someone who could find some websites/new stories applicable to her issue as I am strapped for time.

Here is what she wrote:

"Forgive me for writing, I do not have a missing person in my life. However, I'm trying to prevent it. My 28 yr.old daughter has been talking with men on the internet and doesn't hesitate to meet them is unsafe areas for the first time. She also has a 5 yr. old daughter. Over the last few months she has been speaking to a man in Morocco and is planning to go there in May with her daughter. She has never met him. Her plan is to stay for an extended period of time and if it works out to get married. I am scared to death that she will follow through on this. Do you have any information on internet predators and how they scam people that I could show her? Preferably the ones that talk about love, marriage and so on. Or if you have anything on international abductions. I would truly appreciate anything you can give me."

Most of the info I have is geared to teens/children. Can someone find some scary true stories about adults going to meet people from the Internet, especially those who live in a foreign country? Website links with warnings about adults doing this are welcome, too.

Thanks in advance!

Kelly
 
Hope this link still works. It didn't happen from the internet but it did happen from desperation of a sweet innocent young woman who fell prey to a predator. It was a plan & she turned out to be the victim. Just horrible. I wish you luck in attempting to shake some common sense into your daughter.

I have seen some talk shows about these types as well, they ruin women financially & emotionally, pedaphiles seek out women with young children.


Http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/issues/1994-12-08/news/feature.html
WHEN UNDERWRITERS BECOME UNDERTAKERS DESPITE GLARING WARNING SIGNS, THE INSURERS APPROVED THE HEFTY LIFE-INSURANCE POLICY-- AND GAVE TWO CON MEN A REASON TO KILL BY PAUL RUBIN

Cindy met 25-year-old German immigrant Michael Apelt at Bobby McGee's restaurant in Mesa. On October 28, 1988, she eloped to Las Vegas with the lanky, blond stranger. She had known him for three weeks.
Ten days later, Cindy and her new husband walked into a Phoenix insurance agency.

More at link above.

On December 22, 1988, Ramsey hand-delivered the $100,000 Surety policy to the Apelts in Mesa. He also told them the larger Banner policy was a go, and he took a check from Cindy for the first month's premium.
Early the next evening, Michael and Cindy Apelt drove to a remote site east of Apache Junction. Michael's brother, Rudi, and Michael's ex-lover, a German woman named Anke Dorn, trailed in another car.
Cindy died there, at the foot of the Superstition Mountains, her lifeblood seeping into the desert after a stabbing that left her almost decapitated.
She had been married seven weeks.

The above sadly is a true story.
 
That is awful but these things happen. Thank you for the link. Please, if anyone has others, please post them.

This is not my daughter. This woman wrote me, asking for help in this regard for her daughter. I posted what she wrote to me to help others understand the type of information we are looking for.

Thanks again!

Kelly
 
This internet behavior, in my opinion, is only a symptom of this 28 year old woman's difficulties, and not the cause of them. If she didn't have the internet, she would be behaving stupidly in other ways. Through newspaper personals, barhopping, etc.

The internet is only a means to the end, not the problem in itself.

I think she needs a copy of "Ten Stupid things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives", and the grandmother needs to threaten to call CPS if that mother doesn't quit this behavior. Eventually, she'll drag someone in who will abuse her child, and as it is, she's real easy pickings right now with that mother.
 
The consideration should be the child. I think I would refer this to someone - even child protection, so, at least, someone in a safe position is aware of the situation.
 
This is my own personal opinion. This 28 year old is not thinking of her own child nor her safety why in world would this woman even chance taking her child to another country to meet a stranger. In my opinion this is a unfit mom. I met my hubby online, he's a wonderful man but all stories don't end like mine. But first and for most I didn't have a child to worry about. And my hubby gave me his SS# so that a friend could do a nation wide criminal background check on him. This mother needs to tell her 28 year old daughter that there is no way in heck she is taking her grandchild out of this country to meet a stranger. I think this 28 year old needs to watch the movie "Not Without My Daughter"
 
The mother of the 28 year old is going to call and report this to Child Services if she persists in making plans for this trip.

Does any one have any other links of true stories where this went bad as a way to disuade the daughter?

Thanks.

Kelly
 
I don't have a link, but several years ago a woman met a man online and went to visit him. When she didn't return, the family called the police. After a search, her body was found buried near his home. This was in NC and I can't remember the names but will try to do a search.
 
I wonder why a man in Morocco can't get a woman where he's at and has to get on the internet and meet some woman with a child. That alone should be a big red flag. Is he ready to support them, and can this woman get any sort of job over there? Lots of men who get online are just mentally ill losers who are sexually perverted and too out of touch to realize that women are probably nicer online than in real life. If people try to meet someone online, I think it should be people who are local so that they can actually start dating. If I were the grandma, I'd be contacting the child's daddy, other grandparents, legal aid, child welfare, etc.
 
I don't remember names. But there was the guy who met the woman online, she and her baby went to visit him, she was found later in a barrel and her baby had been given to someone- one of his relatives I think. He was a serial killer.
And the teen who was lured to I think Greece or Italy- he arranged for someone to meet her in USA, help her with getting false identity papers and dying her hair. When she met him, he took her prisoner. Mom finally found her, and had to go get her. Seems like he was keeping her prisoner in an office building, maybe? I think I saw that one on dateline, AMW or 48 hrs, or a show like those.
Anyone else remember those? Can you think of the names?
Edited to add: here is the barrel/baby one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/781507.stm

http://www.courttv.com/trials/robinson/

I can't find the one about the teen, but here is another one.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/3805749.stm
 
if I were this girls mom, I would ask her to have the man come over here, why does she have to spend lots of her money to go off to meet him, if he doesn't want to come to the us, then I would think that he ain't worth meeting, preditors are in ever walk of life and in every country. I would see if there was a way to have a back ground search on him to be on the safe side. chances are, if her daughter is bound and determined to do this, she will anyway against everyone telling her not to. I sure hope that she leaves her child here in this country, she really shouldn't take the child and endanger her. someone that has to use the internet to find a date and so on must not have much social interaction with people, the internet is not where I would look for someone to spend my life with, I found my love in church, and still enjoying it 25yrs later.
 
Thanks for all of the great links and info. I will send this to her later this evening, so if anyone finds other links, please feel free to post. You never know who might be reading this that could be helped by it, too.
 
Kelly, the girl is going to use the excuse that "but not this guy, he isn't like that". Probably, the best that the mother can do is to say, ok this is your first meeting with this guy. I can't stop you from going. But why don't you leave the baby with me, so you will have time to spend alone with him, and then if it all works out and you want to stay, then I will bring the baby over. I always wanted to travel a bit anyway, this will give me the reason to. Then as soon as Mom is out of the country, file abandonment charges and get custody.
And as someone else mentioned, I would also contact the Dad or his family. The Dad could file for custody, or the grandparents could file for visitation privelidges right now. That might delay things.
 
Hi Kelly-- I know a bit about North African culture and Morocco in particular.

Major Warning--due to different culture and religious beliefs, it is a patriarcal society. Male dominated...woman and children are property of male's family.

1. will marry to get citizenship

2. male's family (married or just together) have legal rights over children even if not biological their own.

I have kept this short..not to give too much info here. But major international issues involved here. Most end in heart breaking stories. You know of my background and work with agencies such as REDD BARN- save the children over here.

Please have her pm me for more info. This woman should NOT go there by herself or with child. Suggestion of him coming to US much better. But still many big red flags.
 
They say "love is blind" and she will probably not buy into any number of horror stories presented. We can only try.

I will most likely just send the mom this link and let her read it and the links presented.

I forgot until last night, that one of our cases involved a meeting via the Internet. The man rammed a gag down her throat and then wrapped her head in duct tape so she suffocated. Her body was placed in a large tool box and thrown in the river. They said that her death was prolonged and horrible.

I am talking about Lori Leonard. May she rest in peace.

http://www.tunedinweb.com/lorileonard/index.shtml
 
Great points, Petra. I was wondering the same thing about male dominance and citizenship. I pray this girl comes to her senses.
 
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