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  1. #751
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    rosesfromangels is offline "The trilling wire in the blood / Sings below inveterate scars." - Eliot
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riice View Post
    THANK YOU. There is no cultural justification for stupidity. In rural India you literally have a village raising a child.. in urban centres.. servants (ugly word but kind of gives you an accurate picture of the environment)... children are very important and culturally its almost our duty to have them .. those that dont have children are judged.. and harshly. (It took us 5 years and 4 miscarriages before i had my daughter..so i know bit about harsh judgments.)

    Its very rare that even older children are lef home unsupervised .. and while boys may be a rare exception .. girls would be unfounded.. because of the need to keep them honourable.

    Sent from my SM-N910W8 using Tapatalk
    I've come to the speculation and opinion that despite their "class" in Indian society, these two are l-o-w-l-i-f-e-s.
    My posts are opinion and speculation only, and may not be used for any purpose outside of this forum.

  2. #752
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    The biological daughter of Wesley and Sini Mathews is now with family in the Houston area, Texas Child Protective Services confirms to NBC 5.
    https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Bi...458954603.html

  3. #753
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucyray View Post
    I just saw a Facebook post, referencing a report by Maria Guerrero ; biological child is with family now. She confirms that, also states that WM is aware that SM has been arrested. He's sad about that (or maybe it said sorry..)

    I don't think I am allowed to post the report here.
    It is totally fine to post the news article: https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Bi...458954603.html
    Wesley Mathews' criminal defense attorney, Rafael De La Garza, tells NBC 5 that Wesley is, "Sad that his wife was arrested and hopes she will get out soon."
    He was hoping that his 4-year-old daughter would be reunited with family.
    De La Garza would not address allegations leveled against both parents by Richardson police which led to Sini Mathews' arrest last week.

  4. #754
    rosesfromangels's Avatar
    rosesfromangels is offline "The trilling wire in the blood / Sings below inveterate scars." - Eliot
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucyray View Post
    I just saw a Facebook post, referencing a report by Maria Guerrero ; biological child is with family now. She confirms that, also states that WM is aware that SM has been arrested. He's sad about that (or maybe it said sorry..)

    I don't think I am allowed to post the report here.

    He's "sorry about that?" Sorry about that?! That his wife is in jail and his daughter is murdered and found in a culvert where she's been exposed to the elements and vermin?!
    Sorry about that!!?

    I'm "sorry about that" when I drop a piece of lunch meat in the kitchen.

    WHAT?!
    My posts are opinion and speculation only, and may not be used for any purpose outside of this forum.

  5. #755
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucyray View Post
    I just saw a Facebook post, referencing a report by Maria Guerrero ; biological child is with family now. She confirms that, also states that WM is aware that SM has been arrested. He's sad about that (or maybe it said sorry..)

    I don't think I am allowed to post the report here.

    Thanks yes, Maria has been allowed thus far as
    MSM


    De La Garza said they will wait for the autopsy results to be released before making any statements.
    https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Bi...458954603.html

    and
    https://m.facebook.com/pg/MariaGuerr...ernal&mt_nav=1

    I suppose they wait to see how damaging the autopsy report is before they tell version 3.0 aarrgggg. Jmho
    Last edited by Grouchymom; 11-20-2017 at 10:47 PM.


    If doing the right thing were easy, more people would be doing it.
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  6. #756
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovepierre View Post
    SBM.
    I don't just mean physically searching, but assisting in putting up posters is a way to help too. She could have made pleas to the abuctors (obviously we know why she didn't) too.

    IMO

    The fact that there were no public statements or pleas addressing the abductors with the goal of at the least raising awareness and causing potential witnesses to come forward was the first thing that raised my suspicions about Sini. Her job, dealing with families, agencies, insurance companies and other staff, pretty much required good communication skills on her part so I really couldn't imagine a good reason for her silence.

  7. #757
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    I still think her attorney is going to ask for immunity if she was not involved with Sherins death but knew that she had died.

  8. #758
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    Quote Originally Posted by deoneta View Post
    The fact that there were no public statements or pleas addressing the abductors with the goal of at the least raising awareness and causing potential witnesses to come forward was the first thing that raised my suspicions about Sini. Her job, dealing with families, agencies, insurance companies and other staff, pretty much required good communication skills on her part so I really couldn't imagine a good reason for her silence.
    I still think back to the Amber Alert and how quickly it was called off, and then how quickly WM was arrested and searches on the home were carried out. I have a feeling that LE figured out pretty fast based on talking to WM that Sherin wasn't abducted and that's why his original charge was abandonment without intent to return. Clearly, we don't know what was shared from LE to Sini at that time, but for all we know, her lawyer may have said they wanted to do a public plea and LE said not to that they didn't have any reason to believe an abduction occurred. Clearly, we don't know. But just tossing this out as a possibility. It would also explain why Sini wasn't personally out putting up flyers, aside from the fact there was an angry mob outside her house almost immediately.

    Tonight alone, when I saw Maria Guerrero's fb post about older sister being placed with family, there were only 15 comments, and one said to arrest every single family member. How could a parent safely go outside into their own yard, never mind walk around searching, with that type of mentality following them around?

    I am NOT saying this IS the reason. I am simply giving it as a possible reason. I personally have anxiety. Esp around other people. I would have holed up too. I would have done what I refer to as "turtle-ing" where I pull completely into myself, if, I had been led to believe by either LE or my lawyers, that my child was dead.

    A secondary issue, is that Sini had lost custody of her other child as well. She had an upcoming court date, had no clue what was happening with that child and those court dates and such are non-negotiable. She had to be focused on something, and I imagine for most people they would be concerned about the other child too. Had we saw her walking the streets posting flyers, demanding Sherin, looking in gutters, and so on, everyone would be saying she never cared about the older child and that she was just putting on a show to look innocent... damned if you do, damned if you don't...

    JMO

  9. #759
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    Quote Originally Posted by jens View Post
    https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...w/61726465.cms

    "Sergeant Kevin Perlich with Richardson Police says the arrest of Sini came after investigators went through a lot of evidence and determined that the time was right to go forward and arrest her for endangering a child.
    He said police have sent a lot of "stuff" to laboratories for analysis and some of them have returned. But they were still waiting for details from other equipment seized from the home and vehicles of the Wesley and Sini Mathews.
    Perlich, the Internal Affairs & Public Information Officer of Richardson Police Department said, "We are still waiting for the additional evidence to come to us.
    "When that additional evidence comes into us, it may lead us in another direction, it may result in additional charges, may result in amended charges. We will wait and see how it unfolds and make those adjustments," he said last week after Sini was arrested.
    Police have said the investigation into the death of Sherin is continuing.
    "As far as exact time and cause of the (Sherin's) death is concerned, we are still waiting to get from the Medical Examiner's office as well as trying to piece that together as when she may have actually passed away," Perlich said.
    Last week, police said they have not determined whether Sherin was alive when the couple returned home an hour and a half later after having dinner at a restaurant".
    Well, that is vomit worthy.
    Poor baby!!!


    MOO

  10. #760
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    Quote Originally Posted by edimmu View Post
    I was thinking the same thing. Wouldn't the kids also be on a waiting list? Surely there were other children on the list before Sherin as they were already born!
    An adoption process typically begins in a fairly general fashion--home study, sometimes some education (about what to expect, general info about kids available, etc)--all before a match is made, or presented. And there is generally more concern for a good match than just taking the kid and family at the top of a list. A child with fewer difficulties is generally easier to place than one with any health or behavioral issues. Sometimes one gender is more desireable than the other (not the same everywhere). So, they might well have been "in process" (including actual activities as well as just waiting) since before Sherin was born.


  11. #761
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    Quote Originally Posted by edimmu View Post
    You are right. They chose Sherin! So how does that work? Do they give prospestive parents a list of children available and the parents pick the child?
    My experience is more with domestic than international adoption, but in fact there are profiles (used to be books of them that were sent to local agencies and adoption groups) of children or sibling groups. Helpful to allow families to express interest in addition to relying on the wisdom of social workers across multiple systems to match children and families. Expressing an interest may or may not result in a match, but it does help to open conversation, may help to make another county agency aware of a family with an interest/willingness to consider some specific (sibling group, particular health issue, etc). I believe some agencies use video interviews of children. It's sort of a dance. You don't want kids to feel that they are on display (or being rejected). On the other hand, families can more honestly assess their resources/abilities when faced with an actual child--instead of a list of problems (something else that prospective adoptive families are asked to do).

  12. #762
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    Quote Originally Posted by vmmking View Post
    There are actually adoption subsidies for people who are willing to adopt SNAP kids in the US. Special Needs often just means the kid is not an infant.

    Here's Kentucky's program. At the bottom you can see all the different kinds of support offered you adoptive parents.

    https://adopt.ky.gov/learnMore/Pages/snap.aspx


    Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk
    Yes, thank you.

    I don't know by what means international adoption might be prohibited. But we do have multiple incentives in support of the domestic adoption of children with special needs. Some have a subsidy--not enough to cover all costs of raising a child, but still helpful. One huge help has to do with Medicaid eligibility--put in place prior to the ACA, when the choice to adopt a kid with health needs could rapidly exhaust a family's lifetime insurance caps, or throw a small business into an unaffordable insurance rate.

    Many families who adopt internationally, however, may find themselves with NO avenue for help, and sometimes with a child having severe disabilities (particularly in the realm of undiagnosed mental health issues). One ugly reality is that sometimes families with children (birth children or those adopted domestically) who have such severe mental/behavioral issues as to require institutionalization/residential care/hospitalization are forced to surrender parental rights to CPS in order to have a funding source. Families who adopt internationally can be faced with paying for the care of their child even if they surrender the child to CPS.

    No easy answers.

  13. #763
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    My dad has a cousin who was adopted after secondary infertility. The way that she was placed with my great aunt and uncle was based on LOOKS. Her parents has similar skin tone, hair colors etc and that was what made her available to them at birth. This was about 50 years ago.

    I have a cousin who was put up for adoption about 8 years before I was born. She was also placed with a family based on appearance, BUT, also money, and the means to care for a child who was premature 40 years ago. We met her and she became part of the family when I was in my mid-teens. Her brother, is also adopted, and if you look at their family photos. You would NEVER know that the kids weren't biologically related to either parent or each other. It's crazy!

    Fortunately, adoption no longer has a race/ethnic side to it, aside from the adopting parents choosing which country they want to adopt from. This could be cost of adoption, wanting to get the child out of a dangerous country, or any number of reasons. How an orphanage or agency decides a match is okay with one kid over another is info I haven't found, and I am not sure even comes into play. It seems like if a parent sees the childs photo and information and they want to pursue that child the "match" is made. Maybe this is something parents don't talk about in the adoption process though?

    Anyway, just sorta interesting to me that 40-60 years ago adoption was so private and many kids didn't even know, because they were placed based on appearances, while nowadays the shift really seems to be who is BEST for THAT child. Clearly the system fails. No system is perfect. Every system has room for improvement. But, its cool to think on how much it's changed!!

    MOO

  14. #764
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    Quote Originally Posted by chissus View Post
    A narcissist adopts a needy child to get applause from friends and family. Then gets angry when the child misbehaves after all you did for her.
    Nailed it.

  15. #765
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grouchymom View Post
    I really donít want to monopolize the thread today but I canít seem to stop LOL.
    This is purely speculation on my part but after looking at so many pictures of beautiful little Sherin I canít help but wonder if she suffered from some sort of dwarfism. The orphanage pictures show her with what appears to be a head out of proportion but the later pictures with the weight gain and addition of that beautiful head of hair doesnít show as much emphasis on the head size but her wrists and elbows make me think her growth had been stunted somehow. Now it could be as simple as the malnutrition that was alluded to previously especially if it was for an extended time. When I look at the pictures of her with the sister the size difference is considerable if there were 2 years between them but if the newer report of less than a year between them is accurate I think there must be an issue.

    JMHO



    And a video link
    https://drive.google.com/open?id=1UT...i_EjlS1tgwCmjA
    Monopolize away!

    I just want to add that the terms "special needs," "disability," 'developmental delay," are fairly general, and it can take quite awhile, years even, to arrive at accurate diagnosis of some of the specifics that fall under those umbrellas. And the definition of special needs in adoption is very different from the definition of special needs in education.

    As you point out, a child who was abandoned in their first year would more likely than not be impacted in many ways--nutritional, nurturance (important for development), bonding. Followed by some time in an institution--which can never fully take the place of family--then the trauma of adoption. Quite the diagnostic puzzle. And the black box about which we know little to nothing is what life was like in that family.

    All of which is to say, regarding the nature of her disabilities/issues, I would imagine there are many opinions, none definitive.

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