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Thread: Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

  1. #1
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    Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

    PITTSBURGH -- A woman trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.

    The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

    The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," police said.


    The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

    When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said.

    The couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said -- that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.
    http://www.southflorida.com/news/sns...la-news-fringe
    Retired 08/03/03

  2. #2
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    That's hilarious!

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    How do people come up with some of these ideas? Thats just funny!!!
    Caylee Marie Anthony 2005-2008
    Ethan Stacy 2005-2010
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  5. #5
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    This is great! Thanks for sharing!

  6. #6
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    But why is she planning on using a penis for the drug test? Is "she" pre-op or something like that? Does she expect her monitor will be looking for a male appendage during her sample collection? I know how men do this, and they do look for a penis and make sure the urine is coming out of that penis, but how do they monitor women during the collection? There was some actor who got caught with a fake penis and urine during a drug test recently but his name escapes me.

  7. #7
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    My guess??

    it was the onky thing they could think of that would warm the urine..
    Prolly the ummm female version would not warm it..
    I mean do they really watch you go for the tests??

    Noway could I produce in front of someone..eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ixions Fire
    But why is she planning on using a penis for the drug test? Is "she" pre-op or something like that? Does she expect her monitor will be looking for a male appendage during her sample collection? I know how men do this, and they do look for a penis and make sure the urine is coming out of that penis, but how do they monitor women during the collection? There was some actor who got caught with a fake penis and urine during a drug test recently but his name escapes me.
    Tom Sizemore

  9. #9
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    Jul 2005
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    It was probably a Whizzinator device. MN Viking Onterrio Smith was also caught with one of these.

  10. #10
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Jules
    Tom Sizemore
    Ahhhhahahahaaaa! Thank you, dear lady! Just reviewing the story on wikipedia is bringing it all back. Yes......

    Tom had other well infamous publicized run-ins with the law. He was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack to fool his drug tests. The temperature of the urine sample proved too cool to have come from his body, and he was asked to remove his pants. Sizemore had been caught once before trying to use a similar device, sold over the Internet under the brand name the "Whizzinator", and had failed drug tests on at least five occasions. Sizemore failed 2 drug tests on the days following the fake penis incident showing he had methamphetamine in his system.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Sizemore


    I'm sorry, I know I am behaving in a sophomoric fashion, but sometimes I just cannot help myself. I admit it. And I know there are others here who feel the same way. I'm Big-C Catholic, I'll have to confess next week, won't I?

  11. #11
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    Most welcome!

  12. #12
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    Aug 2005
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    Did they replace the microwave? Because . . . ewww . . . wasn't there real pee in that fake penis?

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