ewwwinteresting
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We all have seen what raven wrote 1 year ago today, the day before his wife and child were brutally murdered:
Monday, April 25, 2005
If I were a bird... Wait, I am!
The way in which I was raised is a direct reflection of the person I am today.
In my early childhood I began to develop strengths that would help me in both my personal and professional life. I learned how to adapt to change, become outgoing and personable, and become aggressive in all my endeavors. The same experiences which made me strong also created weakness. As I was forced to grow up quickly I began to overlook my education, second guess myself, and loose focus easily. The strengths and weaknesses I developed in my childhood have played a role in my personal and professional life. As I grow in wisdom I am making efforts to improve upon my weaknesses while developing my strengths.
While under the age of five years old I saw my parents go through a very difficult divorce. My mother was left to care for 4 children under the age of six. As young as 7 years old I remember having the desire to help ease her pains. I decided that if I could grow up fast then my mom would have less to worry about and I could help her accomplish what she needed to have an orderly house. I began by being comfortable with change. During all my childhood I was constantly challenged with change. Our routine regularly changed with our financial situation, our home, and our surroundings.As a child I often didnt know what the next meal would bring. It seemed one month we were dining out every night and the next month we were receiving food assistance from our church. I remember being able to buy $400 worth of clothes for the beginning of my school year from Mervyns during my 3rd grade year. However, in the 6th grade I learned to maximize my budget of $100 by shopping at TJ Maxx. This uncertainly could have caused me to have insecurities or embarrassments about my situation. Instead, I became accustomed to change and comfortable adapting to my surroundings. As I have grown up I have found that my ability to adapt to change has become a valuable strength in my life. By adapting to change in my personal life I have been able to not stress about change in atmosphere. When times have been good Ive dined in the finest of restaurants and when times have been tough Ive been able to utilize coupons and eating in to stay within my budget.
The same can be said in my professional life. During 2001 my company budget was downsized from a $3k monthly spending budget to $750. Most of my team members had built their sales around spending the $3k with golf outings, dinner parties and other activities to secure business. While I did some of the same activities I found it very easy to limit my spending and during our next quarterly sales meeting I was the only team member to stay within budget.
In addition to financial challenges in my childhood, I was challenged with making new friends more often than most children. Having lived in 10 different houses and attending 10 different schools by the time I was seventeen I had no choice but to adapt or be lost in the shuffle. The constant change in schools made me quite the extravert. Because time was precious and I didnt know what was around the corner I didnt have time to be shy. I had to be energetic and outgoing to attract friends and relationships. I have used this strength to benefit my personal life as well as my professional life. In my personal life I have never been afraid to make new acquaintances and in turn have many friends. At work I have been successful at sales because I am very personable and can relate to others very well.
One of the strengths my mother possessed was aggressiveness and the unwillingness to accept circumstances as final. Although times were hard, my mother always instilled in us the desire to aggressively seek after our dreams. If we wanted something bad enough, all we had to do was work hard for it.
When I was 15 years old I wanted to be viewed as the #1 goalie in the state. At the regional ODP (Olympic Development Program) camp the national coach of our age group evaluated my skills and said I struggled at communicating with my team and distributing the ball. Over the next year I woke up every morning before school and practiced 100 punts and 100 goal kicks. In the afternoon I threw the ball up against a wall 100 times. At practice I spent more time listening to how my coach communicated to the team so I could do the same from the field. In only one year I was the top goalie in Utah (Starting for our ODP team, of course, my buddy Darius wasn't playing ODP this year and he was my only competition I think) and went on to achieve success as an ODP player and a college athlete.
The same aggressiveness to reach perfection in my youth has strengthened me in my professional endeavors. I recall my first time interviewing with companies in DC. I was offered positions at 6 of the 7 places I interviewed. Most of the managers directly commented on how they admired my aggressiveness to get in the door and that is what attracted them to me. This aggressiveness also allows me to not give up when others might throw in the towel!
The same circumstances which strengthened my personality also gave way to weakness in my life. While I was adapting to change I felt like I was reinventing the wheel too often. The constant change of surroundings leads me to loose focus easily and this has proven to be a weakness in my life. Early in my career I found myself changing goals every few months which lead to changing jobs often and consequently I was often moving. While I changed schools a lot in my youth I never had a real foundation in education. Additionally, my mom was successful and undereducated, which strengthened my belief that education was not important. However, I now find that my lack of education leaves me narrow minded and can limit my interaction with co-workers and friends. Finally, because I was moving so much as a child I did have some insecurity. One insecurity was second guessing myself. Without constant friendships I was always afraid to ask for help and in that frame of thought I often wondered if what I was doing was right. In my personal and professional life my biggest weakness is uncertainty because through second-guessing myself I do not take a lot of risk and to be successful in my line of work you must be willing to take risks.
A strength which is evident in this writing is my ability to recognize weakness. Through this recognition of weakness I am able to focus on changing behaviors to better prepare myself for a successful future. I do not like to spend time reflecting on weakness, but as I acknowledge what my weaknesses are I also identify ways to improve on them. To help me keep focused I use Franklin Covey software to organize my projects, goals, tasks, and calendar down to the simplest of steps.
I have also committed to continued learning. I have read many management and leadership books and started participating in group discussions at work and at home to broaden my knowledge and strengthen my decision making. These two things will allow me to not second guess myself and feel adequately educated. While my childhood brought on these weaknesses, I feel like my ability to adapt to change will allow me to overcome my weaknesses as I grow and mature in my personal and professional life.
In summary, I feel my strengths and weaknesses have been molded from the way I was raised. Through the events of my childhood I was able to develop strengths that not only helped me survive my adolescence, but have proven to be a great attribute to the development of my personal and professional life. I also understand that I am able to change my weaknesses through my ability to adapt and that by doing so I will achieve success.
I can't help but wonder if these things he wrote about are still so important to him and what he would write differently today, April 25, 2006. :waitasec:
Monday, April 25, 2005
If I were a bird... Wait, I am!
The way in which I was raised is a direct reflection of the person I am today.
In my early childhood I began to develop strengths that would help me in both my personal and professional life. I learned how to adapt to change, become outgoing and personable, and become aggressive in all my endeavors. The same experiences which made me strong also created weakness. As I was forced to grow up quickly I began to overlook my education, second guess myself, and loose focus easily. The strengths and weaknesses I developed in my childhood have played a role in my personal and professional life. As I grow in wisdom I am making efforts to improve upon my weaknesses while developing my strengths.
While under the age of five years old I saw my parents go through a very difficult divorce. My mother was left to care for 4 children under the age of six. As young as 7 years old I remember having the desire to help ease her pains. I decided that if I could grow up fast then my mom would have less to worry about and I could help her accomplish what she needed to have an orderly house. I began by being comfortable with change. During all my childhood I was constantly challenged with change. Our routine regularly changed with our financial situation, our home, and our surroundings.As a child I often didnt know what the next meal would bring. It seemed one month we were dining out every night and the next month we were receiving food assistance from our church. I remember being able to buy $400 worth of clothes for the beginning of my school year from Mervyns during my 3rd grade year. However, in the 6th grade I learned to maximize my budget of $100 by shopping at TJ Maxx. This uncertainly could have caused me to have insecurities or embarrassments about my situation. Instead, I became accustomed to change and comfortable adapting to my surroundings. As I have grown up I have found that my ability to adapt to change has become a valuable strength in my life. By adapting to change in my personal life I have been able to not stress about change in atmosphere. When times have been good Ive dined in the finest of restaurants and when times have been tough Ive been able to utilize coupons and eating in to stay within my budget.
The same can be said in my professional life. During 2001 my company budget was downsized from a $3k monthly spending budget to $750. Most of my team members had built their sales around spending the $3k with golf outings, dinner parties and other activities to secure business. While I did some of the same activities I found it very easy to limit my spending and during our next quarterly sales meeting I was the only team member to stay within budget.
In addition to financial challenges in my childhood, I was challenged with making new friends more often than most children. Having lived in 10 different houses and attending 10 different schools by the time I was seventeen I had no choice but to adapt or be lost in the shuffle. The constant change in schools made me quite the extravert. Because time was precious and I didnt know what was around the corner I didnt have time to be shy. I had to be energetic and outgoing to attract friends and relationships. I have used this strength to benefit my personal life as well as my professional life. In my personal life I have never been afraid to make new acquaintances and in turn have many friends. At work I have been successful at sales because I am very personable and can relate to others very well.
One of the strengths my mother possessed was aggressiveness and the unwillingness to accept circumstances as final. Although times were hard, my mother always instilled in us the desire to aggressively seek after our dreams. If we wanted something bad enough, all we had to do was work hard for it.
When I was 15 years old I wanted to be viewed as the #1 goalie in the state. At the regional ODP (Olympic Development Program) camp the national coach of our age group evaluated my skills and said I struggled at communicating with my team and distributing the ball. Over the next year I woke up every morning before school and practiced 100 punts and 100 goal kicks. In the afternoon I threw the ball up against a wall 100 times. At practice I spent more time listening to how my coach communicated to the team so I could do the same from the field. In only one year I was the top goalie in Utah (Starting for our ODP team, of course, my buddy Darius wasn't playing ODP this year and he was my only competition I think) and went on to achieve success as an ODP player and a college athlete.
The same aggressiveness to reach perfection in my youth has strengthened me in my professional endeavors. I recall my first time interviewing with companies in DC. I was offered positions at 6 of the 7 places I interviewed. Most of the managers directly commented on how they admired my aggressiveness to get in the door and that is what attracted them to me. This aggressiveness also allows me to not give up when others might throw in the towel!
The same circumstances which strengthened my personality also gave way to weakness in my life. While I was adapting to change I felt like I was reinventing the wheel too often. The constant change of surroundings leads me to loose focus easily and this has proven to be a weakness in my life. Early in my career I found myself changing goals every few months which lead to changing jobs often and consequently I was often moving. While I changed schools a lot in my youth I never had a real foundation in education. Additionally, my mom was successful and undereducated, which strengthened my belief that education was not important. However, I now find that my lack of education leaves me narrow minded and can limit my interaction with co-workers and friends. Finally, because I was moving so much as a child I did have some insecurity. One insecurity was second guessing myself. Without constant friendships I was always afraid to ask for help and in that frame of thought I often wondered if what I was doing was right. In my personal and professional life my biggest weakness is uncertainty because through second-guessing myself I do not take a lot of risk and to be successful in my line of work you must be willing to take risks.
A strength which is evident in this writing is my ability to recognize weakness. Through this recognition of weakness I am able to focus on changing behaviors to better prepare myself for a successful future. I do not like to spend time reflecting on weakness, but as I acknowledge what my weaknesses are I also identify ways to improve on them. To help me keep focused I use Franklin Covey software to organize my projects, goals, tasks, and calendar down to the simplest of steps.
I have also committed to continued learning. I have read many management and leadership books and started participating in group discussions at work and at home to broaden my knowledge and strengthen my decision making. These two things will allow me to not second guess myself and feel adequately educated. While my childhood brought on these weaknesses, I feel like my ability to adapt to change will allow me to overcome my weaknesses as I grow and mature in my personal and professional life.
In summary, I feel my strengths and weaknesses have been molded from the way I was raised. Through the events of my childhood I was able to develop strengths that not only helped me survive my adolescence, but have proven to be a great attribute to the development of my personal and professional life. I also understand that I am able to change my weaknesses through my ability to adapt and that by doing so I will achieve success.
I can't help but wonder if these things he wrote about are still so important to him and what he would write differently today, April 25, 2006. :waitasec:
