Parents On This Forum: Answer Me This!

I have just finished reading the Atlanta 2000 interviews. Anyone with any desire to find true knowledge about this case MUST read them as they are VERY TELLING!!!! To the people on this forum who are parents, would the behavior of Patsy Ramsey in those interviews be consistent, at all, with how you would behave if your beloved daughter was murdered? SHE KNEW NOTHING OF THE INVESTIGATION!!!!!
5 CHIEF BECKNER: Yeah, I was just,

6 because the impression was that, based on

7 some of the statements that you've made

8 publicly and John specifically about spending

9 all of his time trying to find the killer of

10 JonBenet, I am trying to get at, you know,

11 what are you doing and how involved are you.

12 Because I was getting the sense here that

13 you aren't particularly involved in that.

14 THE WITNESS (PATSY): Well, I am not

15 day-to-day involved with it. John speaks

16 with Ollie, I would say, on a daily basis.

17 You know, where we are, what's been --

Think of BETH HOLLOWAY and how she can recite ANY DETAIL of ANY PERSON who has had even the most MINUTE of roles in the disappearance of her daughter. Think of Sharon Rocha and her notebook that she kept with her all throughout the investigation of Laci. You mean to tell me this woman had NO IDEA, almost every question she deferred to "Oh John would know that." If the life that came out of my womb were so violently murdered I would not only know the name of every person I came across, but how they took their coffee, the color of their eyes, etc. NOW I AM SURE I WILL BE BOMBARDED BY A BUNCH OF: "Oh there is no "rule book" for how to grieve and behave in situations like that." BS people. If you don't buy it from Lee Peterson, how does it apply in this case? Double Standard. A mother would be a helluva lot more concerned than Patsy Ramsey was. But then again, maybe it was all so ho-hum to her, she didn't need no stinkin' ivestigators, cuz she already knew exactly how things went down that night.

Anyone who is a parent, I DARE you to tell me you would not be 100% involved and abreast of the investigation of your child's murder...

I think that is just a difference in personalities. I am a take charge doer, but that is my style. I have plenty of mousey friends that just leave some things to their hubby's. I have one friend that i am sure would stay home tranquilized. She does not take action,just the way she is.

sad but true.

Yeah but this was Patsy Ramsey, hardly the meek and mild mousey type.

Can we really compare these cases? First and foremost, I think it's important to keep an open mind--I think that is critical if this is ever going to get solved. I know we all hope and pray that it does.

Beth Holloway doesn't know where Natalee is. Sharon Rocha also didn't know where Laci was while she was keeping info in her notebook during the course of investigation. Very very shortly afterwards, they had a suspect, and Scott was placed in jail shortly after Laci was found. So, while both Beth and Sharon were devastated, they both, for a period of time, had one thing that Pasty never had, and that was HOPE. Patsy knew that first day that JonBenet was never coming back. There was no hope. When you remove HOPE from the equation, all you have is devastation and despair.

Also, the 2000 interview with Patsy happened 3 1/2 YEARS after her daughter had been murdered. I would think that, if anything, I would be extremely exasperated, and mentally drained at that point. Plus, if I was suffering from cancer, well, that injects a whole new dimension into things--so she was most likely physically exhausted as well in dealing with chemotherapy and every crummy little thing that goes along with being a cancer patient. I think that with the passage of time, a life threatening illness that later proved deadly, and the fact that any hope of ever seeing her little girl alive again diminshed that same day she was discovered gone, well, it's a whole different animal. I think you have a completely different outlook when you know for a fact your daughter will never, ever walk through the door again. I don't fault Patsy at all for being out of the loop. I can assure you I would most definitely be out of the loop if I was in her shoes. The only level of functioning I could guarantee day to day would be breathing. I don't think I could do much more, and I am a very strong person! I certainly wouldn't know how any suspect takes their coffee. I know it's an expression, but I think this is an unfair characterization of Patsy.

Just my opinion---I don't claim that it's right or wrong...just something in between.

Patsy knew all the details of the beauty pageants, was involved in the kid's school, the family business they started, and her cancer treatment. Patsy even became friends with, helped, and kept up with other cancer patients that she met. On her death bed, she was working to finish that painting so I'd say that she knew how to get very involved in things before and after the murder of JonBenet.

txsvicki said:

Patsy knew all the details of the beauty pageants, was involved in the kid's school, the family business they started, and her cancer treatment. Patsy even became friends with, helped, and kept up with other cancer patients that she met. On her death bed, she was working to finish that painting so I'd say that she knew how to get very involved in things before and after the murder of JonBenet.

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For sure!

txsvicki said:

Patsy knew all the details of the beauty pageants, was involved in the kid's school, the family business they started, and her cancer treatment. Patsy even became friends with, helped, and kept up with other cancer patients that she met. On her death bed, she was working to finish that painting so I'd say that she knew how to get very involved in things before and after the murder of JonBenet.

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Well, of course she was involved in her cancer treatment...she had no choice. If given the choice, I'm fairly certain she would choose to not have cancer. As far as being friends with other cancer patients and helping them....I just don't see how that means she should've acted more like Sharon Rocha or Beth Halloway. Actually, it kind of speaks exactly opposite of how many people viewed Patsy. Helping cancer patients indicates a certain kindess and warmth, not a cold hearted, narcissistic, uncaring person. I'm not saying she was that one way or another, just that using that as an example doesn't indicate anything negative.

Patsy knew she was dying, and the fact that she found some comraderie and common ground with other people who were also dying of cancer and showed them kindness is NOT a negative.

And how can it be a negative that she was painting while on her deathbed? Geez, it's not like she could do anything else.

If you removed the words Patsy and JonBenet from the above post, anyone reading that would think it was written about a wonderful mother and woman. Everything in that post indicates a great person. Again, I don't claim to be right or wrong, but when you can make those wonderful things into such negative things, it's clear that when people have their minds made up and are convinced that Patsy killed or covered up her daughters murder, that nothing will ever change their mind--absolutely nothing. And I'm just speaking about people in general, not neccessarily the poster. I think that once people think they have all the answers, their mind closes to all other possibilities. I am guilty of the same, in some aspects, but I try to keep an open mind about things that I have no certainty of.

I cant speak for a murdered childs parents. I can only speak for myself about a near death experiance I had with my son. He was already taking his last breaths the hospital preacher was blessing him and consoling us it was just a matter of time there was nothing left for the doctors to do. I was completely mortified I could not talk I wanted to faint I was dizzy crying I felt like I wanted to constantly throw up I wanted to run and scream and trash the ICU I was oblivious to the world around me. This was 8 years ago and I can still tell you every little detail down to what my sons o2 saturations were to the names of all the machines he was on etc etc...When it comes to my kids I can become real smart real observant real quick. But of course that is just me.As far as Patsy or Johns involvment in the murder of Jon Benet I have no idea I havent kept up with this crime enough. What I could tell though was that they were classy people and not the type to me to 'lose' it on tv or in front of media.

txsvicki said:

Patsy knew all the details of the beauty pageants, was involved in the kid's school, the family business they started, and her cancer treatment. Patsy even became friends with, helped, and kept up with other cancer patients that she met. On her death bed, she was working to finish that painting so I'd say that she knew how to get very involved in things before and after the murder of JonBenet.

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Are you talking about the painting that Cappacina started a thread about not so long back?
Is it of two little kids looking out to sea?

Patsy Ramsey lived in a world of "niceness & rightness"....I think that when you read her Xmas newsletters, it is obvious that appearances are EVERYTHING!

I got the strong feeling that this wasnt just an act....that her personality probably didnt allow her to see the nasty side of life, if at all possible....she was a Southern "gurl" who viewed life thru rose coloured glasses....& had people around her who ensured it stayed that way....

The ultimate "nastiness" happened to her......not only did she have to cope with the loss of a daughter she doted on, but who also provided her with a whole lot of pride....a daughter who was achieving what she no longer could.....a second chance at fame....
On top of that she had to face the world observing that the "perfection" of her life, had huge holes in it....

I think she lost all sense of reality....handed over to her husband...& drifted off into never never land....just tried to pretend it wasnt happening......
It became a bit like "the emporers new clothes".....if you ignored the whole situation, hopefully nobody would mention it.....
As she got deeper into this mindset, her mind would have pushed all the distressing little details deeper & deeper.......

The help she provided to other cancer sufferers isnt at all strange....this would have fitted in with being "nice"....doing the right thing!
Yanno....the Lady Bountiful dispensing sunshine & rainbows to the masses.....this would have been a safe role for her to cling onto.....

Yesterday, I forget which thread, someone posted part of an interview where Patsy answered that she'd been on Paxil before the murder. In another interview she was taking zoloft afterwards. JR was taking something too, besides his otc melatonin.

The question is why, would both of them have needed these drugs?????

Not defending anyone or condeming anyone, just seeking facts.

Because of the drugs they were taking, the personalities in question in this thread may not have been entirely their own. JR had lost his older daughter, and I wonder if the driver of the bakery truck survived? Could that accident have been deliberate after all because somebody had something against JR? He still has one more daughter.

celia said:

Patsy Ramsey lived in a world of "niceness & rightness"....I think that when you read her Xmas newsletters, it is obvious that appearances are EVERYTHING!

I got the strong feeling that this wasnt just an act....that her personality probably didnt allow her to see the nasty side of life, if at all possible....she was a Southern "gurl" who viewed life thru rose coloured glasses....& had people around her who ensured it stayed that way....

The ultimate "nastiness" happened to her......not only did she have to cope with the loss of a daughter she doted on, but who also provided her with a whole lot of pride....a daughter who was achieving what she no longer could.....a second chance at fame....
On top of that she had to face the world observing that the "perfection" of her life, had huge holes in it....

I think she lost all sense of reality....handed over to her husband...& drifted off into never never land....just tried to pretend it wasnt happening......
It became a bit like "the emporers new clothes".....if you ignored the whole situation, hopefully nobody would mention it.....
As she got deeper into this mindset, her mind would have pushed all the distressing little details deeper & deeper.......

The help she provided to other cancer sufferers isnt at all strange....this would have fitted in with being "nice"....doing the right thing!
Yanno....the Lady Bountiful dispensing sunshine & rainbows to the masses.....this would have been a safe role for her to cling onto.....

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Good points!!! Whether you believe RDI or IDI, this all makes perfect sense to me - DENIAL!

Eagle1 said:

Yesterday, I forget which thread, someone posted part of an interview where Patsy answered that she'd been on Paxil before the murder. In another interview she was taking zoloft afterwards. JR was taking something too, besides his otc melatonin.

The question is why, would both of them have needed these drugs?????

Not defending anyone or condeming anyone, just seeking facts.

Because of the drugs they were taking, the personalities in question in this thread may not have been entirely their own. JR had lost his older daughter, and I wonder if the driver of the bakery truck survived? Could that accident have been deliberate after all because somebody had something against JR? He still has one more daughter.

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Having typed depositions for over ten years - when I read that part of the transcripts of the interview I honestly got the impression they were talking about drugs they were taking post-murder. I do not think they were discussing drugs taken before JonBenet was murdered. I'll try to go back and re-read it to see if that changes my mind, but although I am a RDI, I do think honestly the drug discussion had to do with drugs taken since the crime. I just know that nearly every deposition I type the attorneys discuss any medication the person being deposed is taking at present - to make sure they can answer truthfully and can't go back later and say, "Well, I was on medication that messed with my mind and I didn't understand that question," etc.

julianne said:

Can we really compare these cases? First and foremost, I think it's important to keep an open mind--I think that is critical if this is ever going to get solved. I know we all hope and pray that it does.

Beth Holloway doesn't know where Natalee is. Sharon Rocha also didn't know where Laci was while she was keeping info in her notebook during the course of investigation. Very very shortly afterwards, they had a suspect, and Scott was placed in jail shortly after Laci was found. So, while both Beth and Sharon were devastated, they both, for a period of time, had one thing that Pasty never had, and that was HOPE. Patsy knew that first day that JonBenet was never coming back. There was no hope. When you remove HOPE from the equation, all you have is devastation and despair.

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These are the first thoughts that came to my mind as well when I read the post about the 2000 interview.
You also have to consider the amount of time that had lapsed between JonBenet's death and the 2000 interview. I don't think we can predict to what degree Beth's attentiveness will wane in the next two years.
Also, Beth had/has an idea of who she thinks was involved in Natalee's disappearance. She was determined to prove her suspicions correct.
Patsy had absolutely nothing to go on.

julianne said:

If you removed the words Patsy and JonBenet from the above post, anyone reading that would think it was written about a wonderful mother and woman. Everything in that post indicates a great person. Again, I don't claim to be right or wrong, but when you can make those wonderful things into such negative things, it's clear that when people have their minds made up and are convinced that Patsy killed or covered up her daughters murder, that nothing will ever change their mind--absolutely nothing. And I'm just speaking about people in general, not neccessarily the poster. I think that once people think they have all the answers, their mind closes to all other possibilities. I am guilty of the same, in some aspects, but I try to keep an open mind about things that I have no certainty of.

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I agree julianne. Some people will always believe JonBenet's death was an inside job.
Although, I don't think the Ramsey's were involved, I am open to anything in this case. I have read and heard too much speculation about this case that when researched, I found the information to be false. I am also speaking about people in general and not about anyone in particular.

John Ramsey himself said it had to be an inside job. Those were his actual words - inside job.

The thing I find most interesting is the behavior of the Ramseys in regards to the RN. The only time they ever took it seriously is when they didn't search their entire house looking for their missing child because they assumed she was being held by kidnappers.

Patsy didn't tell the 911 operator that JonBenet's head would be cut off if they informed the police. I know she says that she hadn't read the note through, but come on - she knew how it was signed, she must have skimmed through it. John Ramsey, reading the note on the floor, had to have come across the "talk to a stray dog, she dies" line by the time Patsy was calling the Whites and the Fernies and Rev. Hoverstock.

How many people who find a ransom note are going to just dialing people up before they've read the note all the way through and have some idea of what's going on? That note is your only link to where your child is and how to get her back - of course you're going to read it straight through to figure out what's going on so you can get your baby home safely.

And on top of that, the Rs sent Burke out to go over to the Whites, supposedly believing the kidnapper(s) were watching the house, ready to cut their daughter's head off. That simply does not make sense. If one of your children has been kidnapped and her life is being threatened, you absolutely do not allow your other child to leave your presence to go anywhere else, not knowing where the kidnapper is or what he what he might do. Either John and Patsy knew that ransom note was bogus, or they weren't very concerned for the safety of either of their children.

And then they sent him back to school right after JonBenet was murdered. At first they had a hired guard, but they had to switch to having a parent watch over Burke, with no professional training as to what to do if someone were to attack him.

And then there's the break-in in Atlanta...absolutely unbelievable. As if a family whose daughter had been murdered by an intruder would EVER be lax in security again...

I'm sorry, but the Ramseys never actually behaved as if there was honestly an intruder. They've been hindering investigation and telling contradicting stories from day one - why lie if there was an intruder? Why in god's name would John Ramsey find an open window, close it, and then go sit down upstairs and say absolutely nothing for four months?

magnolia said:

Patsy had absolutely nothing to go on.

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HOW ABOUT BRINGING HER DAUGHTER'S KILLER TO JUSTICE???????????????????
For those who can't compare Patsy to the other mothers I mentioned, BETH is no different, she is looking for answers, she probably knows she'll never see Natalee again in this life. Sharon knew who killed Laci, why show up EVERY DAY of the trial and keep a notebook and record all the witnesses etc, by the rationale of some posters, once you know your kid is dead, you should just resign yourself? As for the comment that people who have already made their mind up about Patsy being the killer never changing, touche, the same is true for those who are convinced Patsy had NO ROLE. Obviously no one knows who killed JonBenet, and if you believe Patsy only 2 people know: the killer and some one that person may have told?!?!?! So what the interview was 3 years later, Go ask Sharon Rocha in 33 years to describe the events surrounding Laci's disappearance and I am sure you will be able to. But NO ONE has answered the original question of this thread, is this how YOU as a PARENT would behave???????????

Nuisanceposter said:

And then there's the break-in in Atlanta...absolutely unbelievable. As if a family whose daughter had been murdered by an intruder would EVER be lax in security again...

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I agree 100%. Once when my oldest son was just born, my husband went out to work an evening shift and accidentally left the garage door open when he left. We lived in a very rural area and didn't have many neignbors, but luckily one neighbor called and told me it was open. When my husband came home I gave him a big lecture about how most crime is opportunity and he had to be careful he left for the evening, someone could've walked right in and harmed me or the baby. Well to this day, he doesn't leave until he has watched the garage door completely shut, then he stays for a few seconds to make sure it doesn't pop back open. I find the chances of someone with a murdered daughter being lax in security to be slim to none, with none in the lead...

julianne said:

Can we really compare these cases? First and foremost, I think it's important to keep an open mind--I think that is critical if this is ever going to get solved. I know we all hope and pray that it does.

Beth Holloway doesn't know where Natalee is. Sharon Rocha also didn't know where Laci was while she was keeping info in her notebook during the course of investigation. Very very shortly afterwards, they had a suspect, and Scott was placed in jail shortly after Laci was found. So, while both Beth and Sharon were devastated, they both, for a period of time, had one thing that Pasty never had, and that was HOPE. Patsy knew that first day that JonBenet was never coming back. There was no hope. When you remove HOPE from the equation, all you have is devastation and despair.

.

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The notebook Sharon kept was DURING the trial. She talks about it in "For Laci." By your logic, since she no longer had hope to cling to, why bother with the notebook since there could only be devastation and despair (your words, not trying to be rude, just to reiterate). Sharon spoke of how many days she didn't want to get out of bed, but she did, and she forged on because she wanted to find justice for her daughter. I keep an open mind but as a mother, I am absolutely shaking my head at Patsy's actions. But this is not a debate about parenting styles, this was a question to parents, "What would you do?"

She didn't keep up with the investigation at all unless and until someone pointed the finger at her, JR, or BR....then the claws came out.

She didn't need to keep up with possible new suspects because the beotch knew that there wasn't a mystery killer out there.

All Patsy needed to do was to keep the heat off of her.

I think that it was an accidental killing in that the killer didn't intend to cause the death but in the commission of something else, did kill JBR.

When Patsy died, this case was solved. Not in this world, but another.

If it were me and I knew I was dying, I couldn't take that to my grave. I would have to make peace with the world and with God before leaving this Earth....unless it was a terrible accident and I didn't feel any guilt for helping cover it up.

Cal