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  1. #1
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    Unadopting a Child...

    This is a horrible situation.. http://www.comcast.net/news/national...09/495143.html I would be doing the same thing though.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle
    This is a horrible situation.. http://www.comcast.net/news/national...09/495143.html I would be doing the same thing though.
    I agree, I would do the same thing if I was in her situation. Very sad.

  3. #3
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    NO what is sad is that this child after having already abused by the system is now being betrayed by the people that promised to be his parents.

    No one is suing GOD for betrayal when their child is born not so perfect.
    IMO the non disclosure of this childs previous abuse (which NO DOUBT directly relates to these issues) should be compensated in the form of an enourmous sum of money to be used to help this child and hire people to watch him elsewhere when the grandchildren visit.

    These people adopted this child they swore they would be his parents.
    In my mind this is no different then a biological child turing their child over.
    SO what if she can't foster other children anymore?
    Her loyalty needs to be towards this child she promised to love and if its not then she is NOT a parent and has no right to have any children in her home.

    Now if this was some biological child my guess is she would make one hell of an effort to seek help for him not cast him off.

    Furthermore when you adopt a 9 year old who has been tossed around through the system your an idiot if you don't think your going to have some problems and should have him put in therapy immediatly.

    But hey! He was a throw away kid all his life why should now be different?

  4. #4
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    Instead of "punishing" the child for the abuse inflicted upon him by his "biological parents" and the "system" instead of "making the situation" worse by "throwing" away this "damaged" child, why doesn't someone "step up to the plate" and help the child. Ensure that he gets treatment" so that he can be a productive member of society and he is "given" a chance not to spend the rest of his life in Prison, for more serious crimes, that are in the "future"

  5. #5
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    Couldn't have said it better if I tried!




    Quote Originally Posted by Amraann
    NO what is sad is that this child after having already abused by the system is now being betrayed by the people that promised to be his parents.

    No one is suing GOD for betrayal when their child is born not so perfect.
    IMO the non disclosure of this childs previous abuse (which NO DOUBT directly relates to these issues) should be compensated in the form of an enourmous sum of money to be used to help this child and hire people to watch him elsewhere when the grandchildren visit.

    These people adopted this child they swore they would be his parents.
    In my mind this is no different then a biological child turing their child over.
    SO what if she can't foster other children anymore?
    Her loyalty needs to be towards this child she promised to love and if its not then she is NOT a parent and has no right to have any children in her home.

    Now if this was some biological child my guess is she would make one hell of an effort to seek help for him not cast him off.

    Furthermore when you adopt a 9 year old who has been tossed around through the system your an idiot if you don't think your going to have some problems and should have him put in therapy immediatly.

    But hey! He was a throw away kid all his life why should now be different?

  6. #6
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    I took the article to mean that she was NOT informed of his past about abuse and other troubles ect....Maybe she did not want to Foster a child who had that because she had grandkids and other children around.

    Some people may not be cut out to handle that. Maybe the State did not inform her fully of all of his past. I think if you adopt you should be aware of their History, after all you are taking another person in your home and family. I would want to know. And I would be very upset if they molested my children or other family members.

  7. #7
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    She adopted him when he was 9 and now he's 15? I think it's a little late to throw them back after six years. However I think the state owes her compensation to pay for him getting counseling/treatment.
    IMHO

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuppence


    She adopted him when he was 9 and now he's 15? I think it's a little late to throw them back after six years. However I think the state owes her compensation to pay for him getting counseling/treatment.
    I agree with that. Something needs to be done if they were not up front with her. I also dont want to see the child thrown back into the foster care like he was in before but I can understand her concern.

  9. #9
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    I am on the fence on this one. The mother is protecting her gandkids from a possible molester nad she wasnt to still be able to see them but then where does it leave this badly abused child.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle
    I took the article to mean that she was NOT informed of his past about abuse and other troubles ect....Maybe she did not want to Foster a child who had that because she had grandkids and other children around.

    Some people may not be cut out to handle that. Maybe the State did not inform her fully of all of his past. I think if you adopt you should be aware of their History, after all you are taking another person in your home and family. I would want to know. And I would be very upset if they molested my children or other family members.
    Michelle although I agree with this in theory..
    She did not just take in some other person. She adopted a child thereby commiting to being his parent and all that goes along with that good bad and otherwise.
    I agree its wrong that those who should have disclosed these issues were terrably wrong and I feel that should be atoned for but not at the expense of this child. Like CyberLaw said above.

    Michelle, in any case of having or adopting a child you never know how they will turn out. Its just the nature of being a parent.
    If she was a foster mom before that then she KNEW what this child most likely had been through or at least the likelyness after spending 9 years in foster care. If not at the hands of foster parents or his own then by learning it from other kids in the system.
    You are not adopting a 9 year old who has no issues. No one can possibly believe that.

    And there is just no garrantee that any child adopted or not abused or not is going to turn out perfect.
    SO if you commit to being a parent then you must be one.
    IMO this women is simply unfit to be a parent to any child.
    It is her job and legal responisbility as his parent to handle it weather she feels up to it or not. Plenty of parents do not feel "up to" dealing with issues that arise. We figure it out and deal with it.

    If your child turns out to have issues as a parent you address them and modify things in your life to accomodate as well as seek them help YOU DO NOT cast them aside.
    She can sue the agency and make accomodating him and seeking him help a heck of a lot easier.
    I am not all crazy lawsuit happy but they broke the law by not disclosing and they should pay for it not this poor kid.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2sisters
    I am on the fence on this one. The mother is protecting her gandkids from a possible molester nad she wasnt to still be able to see them but then where does it leave this badly abused child.
    Her grandchildren do not live with her.
    She can make arrangements for her 15 YO when they do visit.
    And since the molestation took place when he was only 12 I am not so sure I would consider him a budding pedophile as much as a troubled abused child who was acting out things that happend in his own young life.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amraann
    Her grandchildren do not live with her.
    She can make arrangements for her 15 YO when they do visit.
    And since the molestation took place when he was only 12 I am not so sure I would consider him a budding pedophile as much as a troubled abused child who was acting out things that happend in his own young life.
    I know, it is just such a hard issue though. I have opinions that go both ways. First and foremost, the child needs a loving and caring home that obviously the adoptive mother can not/will not provide. if he remains in the house she will only resent him.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2sisters
    I know, it is just such a hard issue though. I have opinions that go both ways. First and foremost, the child needs a loving and caring home that obviously the adoptive mother can not/will not provide. if he remains in the house she will only resent him.
    I think that is what may happen. He may be better off not with her now. I dont know, I am clueless of the adopting laws and what not. The link says he will still wants her as him mom and the law in that state says that it can stay that way....So is that why she is paying child support??

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amraann
    NO what is sad is that this child after having already abused by the system is now being betrayed by the people that promised to be his parents.

    No one is suing GOD for betrayal when their child is born not so perfect.
    IMO the non disclosure of this childs previous abuse (which NO DOUBT directly relates to these issues) should be compensated in the form of an enourmous sum of money to be used to help this child and hire people to watch him elsewhere when the grandchildren visit.

    These people adopted this child they swore they would be his parents.
    In my mind this is no different then a biological child turing their child over.
    SO what if she can't foster other children anymore?
    Her loyalty needs to be towards this child she promised to love and if its not then she is NOT a parent and has no right to have any children in her home.

    Now if this was some biological child my guess is she would make one hell of an effort to seek help for him not cast him off.

    Furthermore when you adopt a 9 year old who has been tossed around through the system your an idiot if you don't think your going to have some problems and should have him put in therapy immediatly.

    But hey! He was a throw away kid all his life why should now be different?

    Totally agreed!!!! Don't throw him away, get him some help...commit him to a mental hospital for a time, if necessary, but visit him, love him & remain his family!!!!!!!

  15. #15
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    This story is truly heartbreaking, I read it this morning and still can't figure out how I feel about it.

    Sending the kid back to a mother who does not want him would be a terrible thing to do. The poor kid, it's not his fault he was born, yet no one ever stood up to the plate for him. He is in for a very troubled life. I feel for the adoptive mother too if she had no knowledge of his real backround.

    Bottom line, too mant screw ups and not very much time before this boy turns eighteen. So very, very sad for all parties and I pray this type of thing does not happen all the time.

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