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  1. #1
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    Angels or savages - who would have children?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1879
    A new book is causing a storm of controversy by labelling children as annoying and pointless - a charge made all the more inflammatory by the fact that its author is a mother. Entitled No Kid: 40 Reasons Not To Have Children, Corinne Maier's book has sparked fury in France, where it was published.


    Here, Corinne argues her "no kid" case while another mum, Ursula Hirschkorn, stands firm for parenthood.


    Make no mistake, bringing up children is war, and you're on the losing side.

    Every time you plan a little escape they will undermine you. Just as you are off to bed with your partner, they'll throw up; the one night you book a babysitter they'll come down with a fever; on your birthday they'll throw a tantrum as you're stepping out of the door - you just can't win.

    Perhaps this is why children are such effective passion killers. Take my advice, if you want to stay together, avoid baby-making.

    What hope is there of a fulfilling sex life when a woman is forced to turn into a fat, deformed animal decked out in sack-like dresses?

    Far from the beautiful images on the front of magazines, the ugly reality usually means a long cold spell between the sheets.

    Even once the baby is born, nights punctuated by feeds and a crying baby leave you so exhausted that any thawing in that department is a long way off.

    As you bid adieu to your sex life, your relationship is quick to follow. You go from being a couple to being Mummy and Daddy.

    Your job as a parent comes first, and the romance in your lives is replaced by DIY and dusting.

    Now, my boyfriend Yves and I are parents first and a couple second. Our relationship hasn't been the same since we had children and I miss the romance.
    Of course, millions of parents will read this and get all defensive and think that it's all worth it because those angels of theirs are sweethearts. But they're not: they're little savages.
    just a little of what she has to say on the subject. much more @ link.

    the other side.

    As soon as you get pregnant, you finally realise the point of all those years of dealing with budding boobs and annoying periods.

    As you body swells up with potential, you finally have a legitimate reason to spend hours drooling over baby clothes and the latest prams.

    And you start to get what this baby-making business is all about.

    Now I know that not all pregnancies are as rosy as mine, which were a round of cat naps and guilt-free chocolate scoffing, but the end result makes it all worthwhile even if you've spent nine months fighting morning sickness.
    The moment you look your baby in the eye, you know a love like no other you will ever feel. Your feelings for your newborn baby are the very definition of unconditional love.

    They are the cutest thing you've ever seen, even as newborns when they are slicked in blood and look like Winston Churchill (all new babies do).

    Now I won't lie - yes, the early months are hard, but then doesn't anything worth having take a bit of hard work and self-sacrifice?
    One of my most cherished memories is of a night feed with my son Jacob when he was all of two months old. I plucked him screaming and red-faced from his cot, and started to feed him his milk.

    After a few moments, he pulled away from his bottle, looked up at me and gave me his first, beautifully gummy smile.
    I've never felt being up at 2am was so worthwhile - even when I was dancing away at some nightclub in my youth.

  2. #2
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    Am I terrible for feeling all of that at some point in my life?! Overall I'm quite happy being a mom, but there have been times when I wondered why I thought having children, 4 no less, was a great idea.

    Then they give me one of those unexpected hugs and I get over it.

    I seriously miss time alone with my husband more than anything.

    I'm sure someone will come along and bash me for this! Oh well.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taximom View Post
    Am I terrible for feeling all of that at some point in my life?! Overall I'm quite happy being a mom, but there have been times when I wondered why I thought having children, 4 no less, was a great idea.

    Then they give me one of those unexpected hugs and I get over it.

    I seriously miss time alone with my husband more than anything.

    I'm sure someone will come along and bash me for this! Oh well.
    Good Lord, TaxiMom - you're not terrible to me. I was sitting here thinking how to post my true feelings on the subject without sounding like I hate my children!

    Everything that woman said has been true for me too, at one time or another. I adore my children and would take a bullet for them without thinking twice, but I still have to work daily on accepting how much my life has changed - and not all for the better! - since having them. Raising children is very very hard for me.

    I praise anyone who has children and commits to raising them and I praise anyone who chooses not to have children for all the reasons - and others - that this author outlines!
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taximom View Post
    Am I terrible for feeling all of that at some point in my life?! Overall I'm quite happy being a mom, but there have been times when I wondered why I thought having children, 4 no less, was a great idea.

    Then they give me one of those unexpected hugs and I get over it.

    I seriously miss time alone with my husband more than anything.

    I'm sure someone will come along and bash me for this! Oh well.
    any mom who has never felt a little overwhelmed/tired/stressed or the like is either crazy or just a liar. potty training, no sleep, no sex, teething, colic, learning the word no, learning to bite...all of that and they have not even started school.

    the big deal over this book is mom A says kids are not worth the trouble. mom B says in spite of the trouble kids are worth it.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri79 View Post
    any mom who has never felt a little overwhelmed/tired/stressed or the like is either crazy or just a liar. potty training, no sleep, no sex, teething, colic, learning the word no, learning to bite...all of that and they have not even started school.

    the big deal over this book is mom A says kids are not worth the trouble. mom B says in spite of the trouble kids are worth it.
    I think we've seen a lot of Mom (and Dad) A's here in the crime section, eh?

  6. #6
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    No bashing from me Taximon. I think we all feel that at one point or another. I know there have been times I wonder, "what was I thinking" when I had kids. But overall, I wouldn't change the fact I have kids!!!! The joys of being a Mom far outweight my bad moments. Having kids is life changing...but it's a part of life. My mother used to say a husband may not always be your husband, but your kids are yours for life. I put more importance on being a Mom first.

  7. #7
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    every person is different. every woman is different. some get 'baby hunger'. some, like myself, never wanted children. i love my girlfriend's kids, my cousins kids, and they love me back.

    i just know i would go mad if i had children 24/7. im too selfish, and i know it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri79 View Post
    any mom who has never felt a little overwhelmed/tired/stressed or the like is either crazy or just a liar. potty training, no sleep, no sex, teething, colic, learning the word no, learning to bite...all of that and they have not even started school.

    the big deal over this book is mom A says kids are not worth the trouble. mom B says in spite of the trouble kids are worth it.
    To many people, kids are not worth the trouble. That's a completely fair and true statement.

    To many people, kids are worth the trouble. That too is a completely fair and true statement.
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SadieMae View Post
    No bashing from me Taximon. I think we all feel that at one point or another. I know there have been times I wonder, "what was I thinking" when I had kids. But overall, I wouldn't change the fact I have kids!!!! The joys of being a Mom far outweight my bad moments. Having kids is life changing...but it's a part of life. My mother used to say a husband may not always be your husband, but your kids are yours for life. I put more importance on being a Mom first.
    Without reading the book, I'm guessing that Mom A doesn't get what we get?

    (LOL I like that "Taximon" nick. Yeah, I'm in Jamaica right now....)

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taximom View Post
    I think we've seen a lot of Mom (and Dad) A's here in the crime section, eh?
    very true. i really think some people should not have kids. when someone tells me they never want kids i dont try to change their minds and tell them what they are missing. if you kid crawling in you lap and looking at you and saying i love you mom does not make up for him getting sick 2 minutes before hubby and you had planned to play doctor you should not have kids. god knows i resent my kids sometimes. like when i tried to potty train my son and he pooped all over my bed including my pillows... i put him on the potty and went to strip the bed. when i heard water in the bathroom. i run back in and there are poopy hand swipes on the walls,floor, mirror, and all over the sink. i grab him and put him in the tub and he screams because it is to cold. it took strength i did not know i had to take him out and calmly warm the water wash him then clean the room and the tub and clean my room with out calling him words i would regret. unlike mom A i think it was worth it.


  11. #11
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    I'll do a final post to this thread from my deathbed and tell y'all if it was worth it!!!
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri79 View Post
    very true. i really think some people should not have kids. when someone tells me they never want kids i dont try to change their minds and tell them what they are missing. if you kid crawling in you lap and looking at you and saying i love you mom does not make up for him getting sick 2 minutes before hubby and you had planned to play doctor you should not have kids. god knows i resent my kids sometimes. like when i tried to potty train my son and he pooped all over my bed including my pillows... i put him on the potty and went to strip the bed. when i heard water in the bathroom. i run back in and there are poopy hand swipes on the walls,floor, mirror, and all over the sink. i grab him and put him in the tub and he screams because it is to cold. it took strength i did not know i had to take him out and calmly warm the water wash him then clean the room and the tub and clean my room with out calling him words i would regret. unlike mom A i think it was worth it.
    I know what you mean. I've had to pray a lot for patience because it's taken (so far) about 5 years to potty train our disabled one. We started calling them pooh parties with our youngest.

    She just didn't get that poop is NOT playdough. Thank goodness we've moved past that for the most part.

    I wonder what Mom A would do in that situation. No, maybe I don't.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by southcitymom View Post
    I'll do a final post to this thread from my deathbed and tell y'all if it was worth it!!!
    lol!

    i got my proof it was worth it the next day.my hubby knew how stressed and tired i was so he offered to let me nap while he watched the kids. when i woke i asked how it went. he said great except your son seemed to enjoy showing his @$$.... i said great what did he do... my hubby said "i just told you. he pulled down his pants and ran backwards chasing his sister saying "see my butt ,see my butt"while she screamed" the laugh made it worth it for me right then.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by southcitymom View Post
    I'll do a final post to this thread from my deathbed and tell y'all if it was worth it!!!
    You're funny!!
    ______________________________


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taximom View Post
    I know what you mean. I've had to pray a lot for patience because it's taken (so far) about 5 years to potty train our disabled one. We started calling them pooh parties with our youngest.

    She just didn't get that poop is NOT playdough. Thank goodness we've moved past that for the most party.

    I wonder what Mom A would do in that situation. No, maybe I don't.
    i have heard it said that disabled kids give parents more grief and more joy than they could ever imagine. i hate to think how mom A would treat 1. her kids are older and she seems ok with the idea of them knowing what she says in the book.

    People often ask me what my children think of the book, but they don't give a damn.
    They live in their own world and I live in mine. I would never give my daughter advice on whether she should have children. I don't care if I have grandchildren or not, but I know that if I do, I don't want to look after them too often.

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