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  1. #1
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    Afghans arrange marriages for toddler brides

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21278772/

    KABUL, Afghanistan - When asked about her engagement party this summer, little Sunam glanced blankly at her family, then fiddled with her gold-sequined engagement outfit a speechless response not out of shyness, but because she does not yet talk much. Sunam is 3

  2. #2
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    messed up

  3. #3
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    So in other words..women are treated like cattle. They have no rights.

  4. #4
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    "It's a very common problem. I know people in my own family who were engaged this way," said Orzala Ashraf, founder of Humanitarian Assistance for the Women and Children of Afghanistan. "The engagement happens before birth in some cases."

    "We are Pashtun people. If we engage them, there is no way to separate them. They will marry," Najiba said. "In our tribe, it is like this. When they get engaged, they cannot divorce."
    Wow, this is horrible.

  5. #5
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    Arranged marriages are the norm in a number of cultures. It is very hard for us in the West to understand.

    I know three married couples from India whose marriages were arranged by their families when they are very young. All three of these women prefer the way of arranged marriage to what we have over here. They make some good points about its benefits to family and to culture.

    Historically, marriage is an institution that treats and puts women in the "one down" position.
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!

  6. #6
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    I just finished A Thousand Spendid Suns, by K. Hosseini (the author of Kite Runner), which is about the life of two Afghan women. It's fiction, but since Hosseini is from Afghanistan himself, he speaks truth about the life and political fabric of Afghanistan.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by deandaniellws View Post
    So in other words..women are treated like cattle. They have no rights.
    And this poor baby, engaged to her first cousin.....a 'gift' from her daddy to his sister! Dear, dear God.

    The president of Iran stood before the UN and gave a speech mourning how women are disrespected in western cultures....we don't love and respect, cherish our women, like they do in Iran and other Islamic cultures. We don't have good "family values" like they do.

    Guess we're mighty ignorant over here. Shoot, we're so fricking stupid that we don't marry off our babies, stone our 16 year old daughters who've been raped, burn our wives alive when we tire of them, etc. We really SHOULD learn to "respect" our women like those Islamic cultures do, shouldn't we?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by kgeaux View Post
    And this poor baby, engaged to her first cousin.....a 'gift' from her daddy to his sister! Dear, dear God.

    The president of Iran stood before the UN and gave a speech mourning how women are disrespected in western cultures....we don't love and respect, cherish our women, like they do in Iran and other Islamic cultures. We don't have good "family values" like they do.

    Guess we're mighty ignorant over here. Shoot, we're so fricking stupid that we don't marry off our babies, stone our 16 year old daughters who've been raped, burn our wives alive when we tire of them, etc. We really SHOULD learn to "respect" our women like those Islamic cultures do, shouldn't we?
    We also don't hang homosexuals in the town square - unless their name is Larry Craig.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by southcitymom View Post
    Arranged marriages are the norm in a number of cultures. It is very hard for us in the West to understand.

    I know three married couples from India whose marriages were arranged by their families when they are very young. All three of these women prefer the way of arranged marriage to what we have over here. They make some good points about its benefits to family and to culture.

    Historically, marriage is an institution that treats and puts women in the "one down" position.

    The few woman I know who are in arranged marriages are also happy. They say that it is less stressful than playing the mating game we play here. The marriage vows are respected and their families are intact. The interesting thing to me is that they are also in love with their husbands and vice versa. I'm glad it worked out for them.
    I guess there are pros and cons to everything.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by csds703 View Post
    The few woman I know who are in arranged marriages are also happy. They say that it is less stressful than playing the mating game we play here. The marriage vows are respected and their families are intact. The interesting thing to me is that they are also in love with their husbands and vice versa. I'm glad it worked out for them.
    I guess there are pros and cons to everything.
    This has been my experience with those I know as well - and I really do hear what they say and they seem committed and loving. It's just a different tradition than what we have on going here in the West - I don't see it as better or worse.
    I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death!


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marthatex View Post
    I just finished A Thousand Spendid Suns, by K. Hosseini (the author of Kite Runner), which is about the life of two Afghan women. It's fiction, but since Hosseini is from Afghanistan himself, he speaks truth about the life and political fabric of Afghanistan.

    Martha... wasn't that the best book you've ever read. I loved it.

    Nancy

  12. #12
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    That's just plain sad.... Who wants to raise their wives?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by csds703 View Post
    The few woman I know who are in arranged marriages are also happy. They say that it is less stressful than playing the mating game we play here. The marriage vows are respected and their families are intact. The interesting thing to me is that they are also in love with their husbands and vice versa. I'm glad it worked out for them.
    I guess there are pros and cons to everything.
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it IF IF the bride or groom were allowed to change their minds without repurcussions.

    Being coerced or forced into a marriage is illegal in the US for a good reason, and should be illegal everywhere.

    Consumating such a marriage (where one or both parties have been forced or coerced) is rape.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelmom View Post
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it IF IF the bride or groom were allowed to change their minds without repurcussions.

    Being coerced or forced into a marriage is illegal in the US for a good reason, and should be illegal everywhere.

    Consumating such a marriage (where one or both parties have been forced or coerced) is rape.

    I agree with you.
    My statements just had to do with other customs.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by southcitymom View Post
    This has been my experience with those I know as well - and I really do hear what they say and they seem committed and loving. It's just a different tradition than what we have on going here in the West - I don't see it as better or worse.
    It's only worse, I guess, if you know about the women who are trapped in loveless, abusive arranged marriages. I know that happens here, too, but at least here the woman 'chose' the abusive husband.

    I know this is part of another culture, and I am a BIG culture freak since my own hubby is not from USA. If I look at arranged marriages by itself, I can see it like you do. But I see arranged marriages as part of a culture that denies women adequate medical care---there are women in the world today pointing to a spot on a little doll to show where it hurts! because they can't disrobe in front of the male physician!---denies women the chance of an education, the right to have custody of their own children if the man leaves the marriage, etc. It's just one more way of denying the worth and value of a woman, IMO.

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