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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    624

    Assault on a bike?!!!!!!!

    A WEIRDO was caught having sex with a BICYCLE by two cleaners.
    The women had walked in on Robert Stewart in his hostel room, a court heard.
    Gail Davidson, prosecuting, said: “They observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. He was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth.”
    But when Stewart, 51, noticed cleaners Alice Craig and Donna Clark, he calmly asked “What is it, hen?” – then carried on.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...icle470592.ece

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Tallahassee, Florida
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    3,358
    Sounds like he was just horsing around to mess with the cleaners. I think it's funny. Then again, I'm an idiot. :-)
    FUN... is a renewable resource!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Atlanta GA
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    7,376
    Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

    Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

    This guy is weird, but WTF???

  4. #4
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    Apr 2006
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    Tallahassee, Florida
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelmom View Post
    Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

    Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

    This guy is weird, but WTF???
    It would save people money on lubing the bikes, anyway. Consider him the maintenance man.
    FUN... is a renewable resource!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    279
    Quote Originally Posted by angelmom View Post
    Okay, first of all, he was in his own room. So why is it a breach of the peace.

    Second, why does he need to be added to the sex offender registry? Are other bikes at risk? Should he be questioned if bikes are missing? Maybe he should be forbidden from living or working less than 1000 feet from a bike rack. And getting biking magazines, looking at bike websites, or hanging around with people who have bikes.

    This guy is weird, but WTF???
    FUNNY!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Atlanta GA
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    Quote Originally Posted by GlitchWizard View Post
    It would save people money on lubing the bikes, anyway. Consider him the maintenance man.
    EWWWWWWW!!!

    I was eating a sandwich with mayo when I read this post.

    I have to go and now.

  7. #7
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    Apr 2006
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    Tallahassee, Florida
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelmom View Post
    EWWWWWWW!!!

    I was eating a sandwich with mayo when I read this post.

    I have to go and now.

    ....I meant like KY jelly or baby oil.... but yours is funnier!
    FUN... is a renewable resource!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    1,684
    If he has a thing for bikes, or maybe a bike fetish, so be it. I'll just have to remind my dd not to leave hers out front unattended. He might be partial to purple. Seriously, I'd rather have him assault a bike than an innocent child or animal.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    78
    Just wondering if it was a girl's or boy's bike?

    All kidding aside, i think that he has abit of a fantasy life or quite a wild imagination, but there was no harm done.

  10. #10
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    Aug 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by shwa View Post
    .... but there was no harm done.
    Not unless the bike turns up pregnant.


  11. #11
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    Nov 2004
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    3,066
    How do you have sex with a bike?????

    Never mind...

  12. #12
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    Oct 2006
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    4,761
    Where on the bike would he... i can't fathom this..

  13. #13
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    Aug 2003
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    Atlanta GA
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    Quote Originally Posted by csds703 View Post
    How do you have sex with a bike?????

    Never mind...
    Quote Originally Posted by MeoW333 View Post
    Where on the bike would he... i can't fathom this..

    Try not to think about it. You'll only ruin your lunch.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    624
    Lol your comments about this have really made me smile this morning. The bit I found amusing was when he just casually asked the cleaner what was up as if he was doing the most normal thing in the world lol.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    CITY OF BROTHERLY SHOVE
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    17,500

    Different Strokes

    Hey, as long as he wasn't wearing a furry Panda Bear costume while getting it on with his bike and nobody was harmed well go for it. I guess. You guys are funny.

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