Fine Line: Victim-Friendly vs. Malice
My post is in earnest. I'm concerned because, while I've read that WS is 'victim-friendly' ... I am upset that this may be synonymous with assumed (automatic and happy) guilt thrown upon a potential perpetrator -- without substantial evidence.
I do not ascribe to WS being judge and jury. (I don't ascribe to any citizen being judge and jury, because I put myself in the position of circumstance -- and -- it should be assumed [because it's TRUE] that I'm a law-abiding, compassionate citizen -- who thinks and feels ....... and is horrified by the atrocities commited by people who live by a subset of rules our [assumed] civilization has put into place.)
Here's how I feel, based ONLY on LOGIC:
DP hasn't been arrested and I'm sure there's a reason. Granted, it's LIKELY because the investigative team is making sure their ducks are precisely in a row before bringing charges which could be easily dimissed/disputed by a defense team.
I AGREE WITH YOU that this is likely the case.
I FEEL HIS IS LIKELY a perpetrator, but ONLY because of what I've read via the media (like all of you.)
On the other hand, I object to postings which ask why he's 'free' to roam this land, with his children ... to take them to Disneyland over the holiday season .... to question his ability to care for his children, given that he IS innocent unless proven otherwise.
My opinions don't count for squat.
Likewise, your opinions don't either.
This IS the premise on which our freedom of speech, free will and whole lot of general 'free to roam about the cabin' has been founded.
You cannot have it both ways.
You either wish for the US to maintain it's constitution, or you wish for anyone to be hanged based on popular poll.
(I'm just sayin'...)
I am in FAVOR of "victim-friendly" thought process. I object to the notion that a person who wishes to wait for EVIDENCE-before-indictment is somehow deemed PRO-perpetrator.
This doesn't sit well with me. It is unfair. Our opinions are NOT law -- and never will be.
And then I remember that I am not a victim.
I have never been a victim -- of much at all, other than the average petty crime -- and have always used the justice system to correct acts against me.
So then ... does that mean I'm not qualified to be here?
Does it mean my wish to adhere to and respect our justice system makes me as much a perpetrator as a criminal?
Does this mean that I'm not "victim-friendly?"
What does "victim-friendly" mean?
Does it mean that .... just because someone yells 'fire' ... there IS a fire? That if someone yells 'WOLF!" ... there IS a wolf?
I am reminded ... suddenly ... of "the boy who cried wolf."
Why hasn't the majority of society learned from that fable?
I am unwilling to hang anyone unless HARD evidence shows that charges are warranted.
(I'm 'silly' like that...heheh)
And, in this case, it may never happen!
We do not know.
There's no evidence of Kathleen's murder (so far.)
There's no evidence that Stacy is even deceased, let alone murdered (so far.)
If charges are never brought against him ... what then? Will you 'hate' our system? Will you accuse the investigative team (including the FBI, in this case) of being totally incompetent losers ... just because they couldn't find evidence to support your opinions?
If Stacy surfaces (fat chance, I agree) .. what then? Will you be satisfied to 'hate' DP as a guy who has a history of abuse towards women ... and go along your merry way?
Do I think Stacy will surface? Nah.
Do I feel, in my bones, that she was murdered? Yep.
Do I feel DP murdered her? Probably, but I need evidence.
How can any of you be 100% certain?
And if you ARE 100% certain, why?
Is it because he's so smug and obnoxious? (Yes, he IS!)
Is it because he's a cop and cops have a history of certain behavioral criteria (which is WHY they become cops in the first place?)
And last, but hardly least ... if you were DP -- and ASSuming you don't have a need to be obnoxious, how would you proceed (considering the circumstances) if you knew FOR A FACT that you were innocent?
I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT I FEEL HE IS INNOCENT!!!!
I'm hoping to gleen some insight into the minds of those who feel he is absolutely guilty ......... right NOW ......... based on media coverage and willy-nilly thoughts written on a website by Stacy's family members ..................... without being privy to HARD evidence collected to date.
I feel the need to stress this: I hope (dream, hope) this thread to be dialogue discussed geared by logic and NOT emotion. If you can't contain your emotion (based on your own experience/s) please don't berate me for wishing to have a calm discussion, okay?
Thanks for the mutual respect.
In a perfect world, no one would develop opinions until a case is tried. In a court of law, all suspects are to be held innocent until proven guilty. And that is the way it should be. However, any person who hears the story will develop personal opinions as to what they believe happened. And this is not a court of law, this is not even an investigative agency.
What we do here, is learn about the crime, the witnesses and the evidence and develop our own theories and questions about the case, and try to come to some understanding of those big questions of how and why.
Yes, you will see venting, when a crime is not solved or a suspect is not arrested. We would like a perfect world where no crime happens, or at least if it happens that the guilty will be brought to justice. And when there is no arrest, we do fear that a failure to arrest means the crime will never be solved, no one will be brought to justice. But we also know that sometimes crimes are not solved and suspects are not brought to justice and that causes the fear. In other words, we aren't always patient or perfect. We are however people who have learned to listen to what is said about a crime, and sometimes to what is not said and have learned to develop our own opinions.
Thank you, Mysterie ...... your response is appreciated, in addition to being intelligent and rational. I am hoping that more will respond with the same tact, so this discussion can take place.
Originally Posted by mysteriew
I do understand all that you've said. I also appreciate the ability to express opinions on this (WS) website.
What I don't understand ... specifically, is how someone could question (for example) DP taking his children on vacation to Disneyworld, as if he should be under 24/7 surveillance. He's a FREE man, NOT charged with any crime -- andddddddddddd ... there aren't any crimes TO charge him with....... YET!
It's fine if people want to assume guilt. And I, like others, feel he is totally implicated in the commission of at least one (if not two) murders -- IF there IS a second murder (we do not know.)
I admit I have let the media coverage sway my opinion.
Yet -- DP is a free man.
Nobody has to like it, but -- why does it seem that most who post on WS are salivating that he be arrested and charged instead of waiting to see the evidence? WHY would anyone want to hang another human without all the facts?
Isn't that behavior the SAME AS being a perpetrator of a crime????????
(I think it is.)
Are people interested in TRUE justice, or are they only interested in seeing someone arrested who they WISH to be guilty? THAT's my question.
I admit, I would like to see DrewP arrested, getting arrested would mean that they have found enough evidence they feel they could go to trial. That does not mean I want them to take him out back and string him up.
This case has really struck a cord in me, in many ways it's because of Kathleen, for me there is no doubt of what happened to her, she is dead and her last years were made miserable due to DrewP. In all these years since Kathleen was buried there has been no justice for her, it's time the truth be found out. I can't imagine how her family has managed to keep it all together all this time.
Also, now with Stacy gone, I would really hate for there to be a 5th Mrs. DrewP soon and if he gets arrested it may act as a deterrant.
If you think about it, DrewP has not been a single parent. When he had the older boys, their mother was in their life. When he had children with Kathleen she was there. And after she died, Stacy stepped right into her place. Now he is pretty much on his own with 4 kids.
He has an alleged history of killing two wives. On camera he has appeared to have been first one mood, then quickly another. Everything that ever went wrong in his marriages, he has said was the mother's faults. Now two of those kids are older. We don't know what they may have seen or heard that day. What happens if/when DrewP puts his own spin on whatever they may have seen or heard? What happens if those children's grief is ignored? What happens if a child saw or heard something and makes it clear that he is determined to stick to what he heard or saw? And what happens to those kids if DrewP should learn that he is going to be arrested and he decides not to go to jail? Agreed that is a lot of ifs. But still they are a concern.
As far as DrewP leaving the state, I have heard it said on TV frequently in cop shows "don't leave the state." No in real life LE can't do that. But that doesn't change the concern that if DrewP thinks LE is getting close that he might flee the country. As far as surveillence, yes LE can do that- though I don't think they can easily do it out of state. Even in the same city it can be and has been done. They could be doing it now, but we would never know unless they caught him trying to flee.
I've been a member here for several years. People here are good at what they do. They read and assimilate the media articles. They disect what they read, and are pretty accurate at reading what it means. I have seen cases discussed here where the general concensus was that the suspect was not guilty- and I have seen those people go free. I have seen some pretty out there theories discussed that I doubted that would happen- only to have it proved out later.
No, it is not a matter of they wish he was guilty, it is a matter of reading what it available, discussing the details and making a considered opinion. And there will be times/cases when the decision will be split with two or more polars saying they thought there was guilt or no guilt. This is one of the few cases here where that hasn't happened. Not because everyone wishes DrewP was guilty, but because of the events that have happened, the information that has been released or discussed by witnesses, and for me- to be honest, a lot of my opinion is based on what DrewP himself has said. He is mainly what has convinced me. For myself, and I think for everyone else- we would love to be wrong. We would love for Stacy to call LE and say "if you won't tell DrewP where I am, I will tell you." But I don't think that it is possible that that will happen. IMO
I don't always presume guilt of a suspect here at WS. There are some cases where I think the POI might be innocent. I think the same could be said for a lot of WS members.
Have you read a lot of other threads here, Maddy?