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  1. #1
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    The truth against Western values

    I was forced to marry my cousin - it's normal in my culture, but SO WRONG

    For Khaleda, who was born in Britain and took GCSEs and A-levels at her British school in the hope of becoming a teacher in this country, was forced by her father to go to Pakistan and marry his cousin - a man 20 years her senior, who spoke no English and whom she had never even met.
    And according to Khaleda - who today, having escaped "the marriage from hell," lives in hiding with her British partner, Phil - she is far from alone.

    ...........

    "It is well known within the community that such marriages do produce deformed babies. No one talks about it, but it is one of the reasons why I found such a marriage to someone so closely related to myself to be so very repugnant.
    "Just before I was forced to marry I heard of one of my cousins who'd been forced to marry her auntie's son."

    "They had a baby daughter who died and when they asked doctors why, they were told it was because of inter-breeding. They were told the parents were too closely related to have a normal baby."

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1879

    So wrong.

    this IS happening in America.

  2. #2
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    Not quite understanding your title. Are you claiming this arranged marriage is a reflection of Western values?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    Not quite understanding your title. Are you claiming this arranged marriage is a reflection of Western values?
    Yes. i am.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Floh View Post
    Yes. i am.
    I disagree. Western values would not condone this behavior. This could be an influx of immigrant values but I really don't see this.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Floh View Post
    I was forced to marry my cousin - it's normal in my culture, but SO WRONG

    For Khaleda, who was born in Britain and took GCSEs and A-levels at her British school in the hope of becoming a teacher in this country, was forced by her father to go to Pakistan and marry his cousin - a man 20 years her senior, who spoke no English and whom she had never even met.
    And according to Khaleda - who today, having escaped "the marriage from hell," lives in hiding with her British partner, Phil - she is far from alone.

    ...........

    "It is well known within the community that such marriages do produce deformed babies. No one talks about it, but it is one of the reasons why I found such a marriage to someone so closely related to myself to be so very repugnant.
    "Just before I was forced to marry I heard of one of my cousins who'd been forced to marry her auntie's son."

    "They had a baby daughter who died and when they asked doctors why, they were told it was because of inter-breeding. They were told the parents were too closely related to have a normal baby."

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1879

    So wrong.

    this IS happening in America.


    Just because people immigrate to America doesn't mean they give up their religious practices. If families arrange marriages in other countries, why should they stop simply because they move to another country. She was forced to return to PAKISTAN to get married - NOT the U.S. As far as I can see, this has nothing to do with America and everything to do with traditions of other countries.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeana (DP) View Post
    Just because people immigrate to America doesn't mean they give up their religious practices. If families arrange marriages in other countries, why should they stop simply because they move to another country. She was forced to return to PAKISTAN to get married - NOT the U.S. As far as I can see, this has nothing to do with America and everything to do with traditions of other countries.
    Thanks Jeana, your wording was so much better than mine. I was trying to be correct but it failed me.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeana (DP) View Post
    Just because people immigrate to America doesn't mean they give up their religious practices. If families arrange marriages in other countries, why should they stop simply because they move to another country. She was forced to return to PAKISTAN to get married - NOT the U.S. As far as I can see, this has nothing to do with America and everything to do with traditions of other countries.
    Well stated. I think this kind of behavior is taboo to what most of us would consider Western values. But it does, as we know, go on in other cultures.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeana (DP) View Post
    Just because people immigrate to America doesn't mean they give up their religious practices. If families arrange marriages in other countries, why should they stop simply because they move to another country. She was forced to return to PAKISTAN to get married - NOT the U.S. As far as I can see, this has nothing to do with America and everything to do with traditions of other countries.
    Very well said, Jeana.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *My posts are my opinions, expressed freely thanks to the First Amendment.*

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by concernedperson View Post
    I disagree. Western values would not condone this behavior. This could be an influx of immigrant values but I really don't see this.
    I went nuts last night. i was meaning the values were all against western values. why on earth didn't that come out right?

    sorry.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Floh View Post
    I went nuts last night. i was meaning the values were all against western values. why on earth didn't that come out right?

    sorry.
    No worries, Floh. Thank you for clarifying what you meant, though.

    Lion


  11. #11
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    You said "against". I got what you meant. The article was so very sad. Poor girl. I can't believe her family did this to her. She still seems to love them so.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by southcitymom View Post
    Well stated. I think this kind of behavior is taboo to what most of us would consider Western values. But it does, as we know, go on in other cultures.
    It is common in the Orthodox Jewish community as well. The Amish are so "inbred" that there are diseases and syndromes that only occur in their families.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by luthersmama View Post
    The Amish are so "inbred" that there are diseases and syndromes that only occur in their families.
    Very true, but it isn't because they're forced to marry their cousins against their will. It's because they choose to marry within their own religion, of which there aren't many practitioners.

    Or did I miss your point?

    There are some Mormon "branches" (not recognized by the official Mormon church) that are said to force women into unwanted marriages, here in the U.S. so I guess the U.S. does have its share of that sort of thing.

    However, I think Britain seems to be having a bigger problem than we are... (Khaleda Begum is British) She isn't the only British woman facing this. Some British women have even been killed because they refuse to marry the man of their family's choosing. A question of honour: Police say 17,000 women are victims every year


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallytowngirl View Post
    Very true, but it isn't because they're forced to marry their cousins against their will. It's because they choose to marry within their own religion, of which there aren't many practitioners.

    Or did I miss your point?

    There are some Mormon "branches" (not recognized by the official Mormon church) that are said to force women into unwanted marriages, here in the U.S. so I guess the U.S. does have its share of that sort of thing.

    However, I think Britain seems to be having a bigger problem than we are... (Khaleda Begum is British) She isn't the only British woman facing this. Some British women have even been killed because they refuse to marry the man of their family's choosing. A question of honour: Police say 17,000 women are victims every year

    So is the question whether a forced marriage is bad? Or marriage to a close relative is bad? If it is a question of force, there are lots of coerced marriages worldwide, not to family members. I think there is a fine line between "arranged" and "coerced". If the problem is inbreeding, what difference does it make whether it is by choice or not?


    Personally, I think these types of stories are being circulated to foment jingoistic sentiments and not because of any newsworthiness. Seems like there's something new every day criticizing some custom somewhere, usually trying to get every one worked up about a Muslim custom or practice.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by luthersmama View Post
    So is the question whether a forced marriage is bad? Or marriage to a close relative is bad?
    Yes, I wondered if I missed your point. I did!

    I know here in the U.S., some states don't have laws against marrying a cousin, while some states do. Seems like a no-brainer to avoid interbreeding...

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