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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Can these boys be saved?

    http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaind...l=2&thispage=1
    Boy, 8, who crashed car was running from nightmarish life, experts say

    He was a kid just trying to save himself.
    Who else was going to do it? So many people tried - relatives, therapists, the child welfare system. But had they tried hard enough? Here he was, in trouble again.
    He thought he was going to be taken away, thrown in jail, beaten to death.
    (much more at the link - please read it all, thank you)

    This case broke my heart. I want to take these two boys in but it's just not possible for us. I hope some family steps up to the plate and helps these brothers get well and stay together.

  2. #2
    hipmamajen's Avatar
    hipmamajen is offline I love the friends I have gathered together on this thin raft...
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    I think they are young enough that they could benefit from therapy. But, it will be a long uphill battle, and the 6 year old has a better chance (IMO) of making out OK.

    I don't know that I agree that they should be placed together right now, though. The 8 year old seems to care for his younger brother, but he's acting out pretty violently. I'd hate to see the 6 year old victimized in the name of keeping the brothers together.

    Their parents have failed them, and so has the system. This is so frustrating to read about!

  3. #3
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    "Up until this time, we've pathologized these kids -- they're sick or they're bad boys. We see them as criminals," Biddle says. "But these are children who are having normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. The reactions they're having are in response to very painful, overwhelming experiences that they had no control over."

    I think they have a chance. I really do. Something about those little boys taking their shoes off to be sure they didn't track snow through their daddy's home.....it just seems like they WANT to be good.

    I pray they get the help they need, for as long as they need it.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by hipmamajen View Post
    I think they are young enough that they could benefit from therapy. But, it will be a long uphill battle, and the 6 year old has a better chance (IMO) of making out OK.

    I don't know that I agree that they should be placed together right now, though. The 8 year old seems to care for his younger brother, but he's acting out pretty violently. I'd hate to see the 6 year old victimized in the name of keeping the brothers together.

    Their parents have failed them, and so has the system. This is so frustrating to read about!
    Ah, that's a good point about them not being together for now, hipmamajen. It could even be used as a positive reward if the older boy can get his act together...then he can be with his brother eventually.

    I see him just trying to cling on to the only good thing in his life and wanting to protect him.

    It always gets me that this is going on all over the world with thousands of children. It's so wrong.

    kgeaux, they will be in my prayers too. I hope others join us, and pray for all child abuse victims.....

  5. #5
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    Terribly sad. Our Foster-care system is sooo messed up. It makes me sick. Sometimes "family" isn't the best option especially when the "family" has a history of abuse, mental illness, lawlessness, drug abuse and as hinted about in the story, sexual abuse.
    In a terrible family as that, no wonder these kids are so messed up and the laws saying "family is best" is just crazy but sadly (Heck, just look at the Jaliek Rainwalker case!!) foster care can be just as bad if not worse.
    I have no answers but it just breaks my heart that some "parents" hate their kids so much and paying strangers to raise the children isn't always best either.
    State run orphanages again? Warehouse these kids?

    We applied to be foster care parents but we were denied because my husband is not a US citizen. Even though we own 2 houses and are debt free, clear of any mental and drug abuse problems and raising 4 well behaved and if I may say WONDERFUL children, we were not "eligible".
    So the house ran by a single mother of 8 living in a 2 bedroom home on welfare is allowed to foster as many kids as she can, We are denied.
    Great system!

  6. #6
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    Aw, pixies, I'm sorry they have rules like that. There must be some reason for it, but I can't think of one off the top of my head. Maybe they think a non-citizen would run off to their home country with a child? That seems almost impossible in this day and age with passports required at every turn. Maybe they should re-think that policy.

    It sounds like you would be able to provide a wonderful home.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taximom View Post
    Ah, that's a good point about them not being together for now, hipmamajen. It could even be used as a positive reward if the older boy can get his act together...then he can be with his brother eventually.

    I see him just trying to cling on to the only good thing in his life and wanting to protect him.

    It always gets me that this is going on all over the world with thousands of children. It's so wrong.

    kgeaux, they will be in my prayers too. I hope others join us, and pray for all child abuse victims.....
    On the other hand, if they take away the only good thing in his life he may just give up...it could make him feel even worse about himself.

  8. #8
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    Sometimes I feel like the Fiddler on the Roof when I do the "on the other hand" thing. lol I know what you mean, WR! One of the reasons he said they took the car in the first place was because he knew he and his brother would be separated.

    Ugh, just typing that brings me to tears. You know he's still got a heart when he's thinking of his lil bro. I think there is hope.

  9. #9
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    What a heartbreaking story. ;(
    Hopefully they will be kept together and placed in a home with lots of love.

  10. #10
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    Taxi, you're a sweetheart to want to help those boys and I hope someone will be able to help. Personally, I wouldn't have the courage to do it. What a sad story.


  11. #11
    OneLostGrl's Avatar
    OneLostGrl is offline I'm going against the grain- I'm going sane
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    These poor poor babies!!

  12. #12
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    I wholeheartedly believe these boys can be saved. As a former foster parent, for 20 years, my 6 oldest children are living proof that it can happen. My first "foster" child was 6 when he came to live with us and had spent the previous 3 years in a residential psychiatric treatment facility. He suffered from PTSD, severe anger management issues, separation anxiety disorder, ADHD, and a host of other issues. It wasn't easy, for him, for us, for his counselors, his teachers or for many others.

    Over the years, 5 of his siblings joined us. They all had to work hard to overcome their early years. Given the right resources, the right treatment, a lot of love, understanding, and God's grace on all involved, it can happen. Today, my kids are grown and we are proud grandparents to 13 wonderful kids, with a 14th on the way. The cycle has been broken. Our one "home-grown" child is loved and adored by all of his siblings and noone would ever know that we haven't always been a family.

    We were very lucky, and very blessed. We had a HUGE support system with the foster agency we were with and our extended family. Our church family, the school system, everyone involved was fabulous. Yeah, there were some roadblocks, but we were able to overcome. It truly does take a village to raise a child. You have to ensure that the village retains its health and well-being also though.

    I will keep these boys in my prayers. They have a long road ahead of them. I hope they are as strong as my kids are, and I hope that whoever is lucky enough to bring them into their family is as blessed as we were.

    God be with you boys !!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by barb0301 View Post
    I wholeheartedly believe these boys can be saved. As a former foster parent, for 20 years, my 6 oldest children are living proof that it can happen. My first "foster" child was 6 when he came to live with us and had spent the previous 3 years in a residential psychiatric treatment facility. He suffered from PTSD, severe anger management issues, separation anxiety disorder, ADHD, and a host of other issues. It wasn't easy, for him, for us, for his counselors, his teachers or for many others.

    Over the years, 5 of his siblings joined us. They all had to work hard to overcome their early years. Given the right resources, the right treatment, a lot of love, understanding, and God's grace on all involved, it can happen. Today, my kids are grown and we are proud grandparents to 13 wonderful kids, with a 14th on the way. The cycle has been broken. Our one "home-grown" child is loved and adored by all of his siblings and noone would ever know that we haven't always been a family.

    We were very lucky, and very blessed. We had a HUGE support system with the foster agency we were with and our extended family. Our church family, the school system, everyone involved was fabulous. Yeah, there were some roadblocks, but we were able to overcome. It truly does take a village to raise a child. You have to ensure that the village retains its health and well-being also though.

    I will keep these boys in my prayers. They have a long road ahead of them. I hope they are as strong as my kids are, and I hope that whoever is lucky enough to bring them into their family is as blessed as we were.

    God be with you boys !!
    All I can say is WOW barb. You are most certainly an angle on earth!

  14. #14
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    I agree with dean, Barb. You are an angel! It's really good to hear that things can turn around for children that have been through hell. We try to remember all the hurting children in the world when we pray.

  15. #15
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    Is the foster system not going to try and put the boys together in a foster home? I thought they always try to unless they are older and acting out sexually with each other.



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