05-02-2008, 07:18 PM #1Former Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
First dorms were coed, now rooms are, too
Erik Youngdahl and Michelle Garcia share a dorm room at Connecticut’s Wesleyan University. But they say there’s no funny business going on. Really. They mean it.
They have set up their beds side-by-side like Lucy and Ricky in “I Love Lucy,” and avert their eyes when one of them is changing clothes.
“People are shocked to hear that it’s happening and even that it’s possible,” said Youngdahl, a 20-year-old sophomore. But “once you actually live in it, it doesn’t actually turn into a big deal.”
In the prim 1950s, college dorms were off-limits to members of the opposite sex. Then came the 1970s, when male and female students started crossing paths in coed dormitories. Now, to the astonishment of some Baby Boomer parents, a growing number of colleges are going even further: coed rooms.
At least two dozen schools, including Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University and the California Institute of Technology, allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose — including someone of the opposite sex. This spring, as students sign up for next year’s room, more schools are following suit, including Stanford University.
As shocking as it sounds to some parents, some students and schools say it’s not about sex.
Instead, they say the demand is mostly from heterosexual students who want to live with close friends who happen to be of the opposite sex. Some gay students who feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the opposite sex are also taking advantage of the option.
“It ultimately comes down to finding someone that you feel is compatible with you,” said Jeffrey Chang, a junior at Clark in Worcester, Mass., who co-founded the National Student Genderblind Campaign, a group that is pushing for gender-neutral housing. “Students aren’t doing this to make a point. They’re not doing this to upset their parents. It’s really for practical reasons.”
05-02-2008, 07:27 PM #2Former Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
I don't see the problem???
I mean almost all of them are 18 or older by the time they get to college.
Lets face it if they were going to have sex they do not need coed rooms to do so!
I am sure plenty of parents will freak out but really they need to get over it and cut the apron strings ... If by the age of 18 you have not instilled and impressed your morals on them... Then your not going to.
05-02-2008, 08:19 PM #3
05-02-2008, 08:30 PM #4
I don't think it's a big deal as long as there are still single sex dorms available for those who are uncomfortable with the idea. I mean the entire building.
When I was in college I lived in one of the last all girls dorms, and I loved it. It felt incredibly safe, there were no men allowed during certain hours, and I knew I was never going to bump into some strange guy in the hall or bathroom at 2 in the morning. I would not have wanted to be in a dorm that was any other way, always having to be careful about what I had on in case someone thought I was "asking for it." We walked to the showers in a towel and stood in front of the fans (no AC! In FL!! For summer session!!!) flapping our shirts open. No one cared.
I don't care if they offer that, but they shouldn't be allowed to say, "oops sorry, the all girl dorm is full, you have to take a coed room." I'd call BS on that. That's asking to get sued. But I'm sure they've thought of that.
05-02-2008, 08:31 PM #5Im just living among all the madness
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Lake Charles, Louisiana
05-02-2008, 08:34 PM #6Former Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2004
I have no problem with it, but it won't be on my dime.
05-02-2008, 08:35 PM #7
I dont think its a big deal either. Just because they are of the opposite sex doesnt mean there has to be a sexual relationship going on. There are TONS of girls that i couldnt stand to live with...and tons of guys that i would be totally comfortable living with.
On a positive side...it could work out for the better...like that girl that got raped and murdered in her dorm room....if she had a guy roommate he could try to protect her.
Plus you wouldnt worry about sharing personal items and ruining a friendship. I know tons of girls who wont even speak to the girl they roomed with in a dorm because of so many petty fights with using eachothers straighteners, hair products, shaving cream, make up, clothes...etc.Happiness is the secret to all beauty.
There is no beauty that is attractive
♥Christian Dior ♥
05-02-2008, 08:35 PM #8Former Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I'm glad we are too poor to send our kids away to college! lol This would be one option I'm not interested in for my kids, even though I've pounded morals into them 24/7 since birth. Mwahahahaha...
05-02-2008, 08:54 PM #9Former Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
My daughter goes away to school. She lives in an apartment complex that is affiliated with the university. It's just off campus. It's a 4 bedroom, 4 bath apartment. The rent is split in 4 and it's 4 separate leases within the same unit. She's in a unit with 3 other girls - they each have their own room, bathroom and then the common kitchen and living room area. She loves it.
Some of her friends, however, live in the same complex and they have guys for roommates. She said there have never been any problems and they all get along great. They are all one big group anyway and are always at each others apartments, etc. No funny business going on with any of them - just all friends.
I would have no problem if one of the girls moved out and a guy moved in.
05-02-2008, 09:05 PM #10Former Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
I wouldn't have a problem with that either, but a dorm room is a very small space with no room for privacy.
For me, it has nothing to do with sex, because let's face it, if that's what they want they don't have to be roommates. It really is modesty/privacy issue.
05-02-2008, 09:14 PM #11
Boy is that the truth!! My roomie frosh year got up extra early to blow dry her stupid hair every day. It frizzed up by 9 am so whatever!! (I worked nights.)
This doesn't bother me at all either.
And the college I went to had an all-girls dorm and they were forever hosting guys at night. All the guy had to do was sign in and hide out and he could stay all night. Most of the time, they never noticed he hadn't left.
05-02-2008, 09:20 PM #12
The other issue is if it DOES turn romantic and then ends badly.
I met my DH when I rented a room in his house from him. There were all kinds of complications that came along with that. The physical side advanced way faster than it normally would have, and instead of just dating we were automatically living together, which I never would have agreed to in a normal relationship. He felt like he had no space, I felt like I was in this major intense physical relationship without any of the committment, and it was stressful.
Later when we decided to try to back up, it was even more complicated. I cannot imagine if we had actually broken up or if he had decided to date other people! And when we moved back home and into our own homes once again, it was very weird. There was really nothing we could do, b/c it was too late in the year to find a new place for me to live.
And that was without trying to share a room or a bathroom. We were really almost in 2 separate apartments that shared a kitchen/living area. I think it could really backfire on you.
05-02-2008, 10:07 PM #13
My first two years of college, I was in all-girl dorms and my last two, in coed dorms. In the coed dorms, all the boys were on the bottom and the girls on the top so it worked out well.
05-03-2008, 12:05 AM #14
I'm with angelmom, it's fine as long as the other options remain open. Also, I think the people who choose the co-ed room arrangement should already be established as (just) friends...no random assignments for the co-ed rooms.
05-03-2008, 12:31 AM #15
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