NJ NJ - Little Ferry, LIVING AsianMale 4-5mos, 793UMNJ, Down's Syndrome, left @babysitter's home Jan'03

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anthrobones

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http://doenetwork.org/cases/793umnj.html

:(:(


Unidentified Asian Male

  • The victim was discovered on January 24, 2003 in Little Ferry, Bergen County, New Jersey
  • Living and abandoned infant
  • Diagnosed with Down's Syndrome

Vital Statistics

  • Estimated age: 4-5 months old
  • Approximate Height and Weight: 1'11" (58 cm); 11 lbs (5 kg).
  • Distinguishing Characteristics: Black hair; brown eyes.

Case History
The victim was located in Little Ferry, New Jersey on January 24, 2003.
The child was left at a babysitter's home by a woman who claimed to be his mother and she never returned to pick him up.
793UMNJ_witness.jpg

Associated Adult
Vital Statistics
  • Date Of Birth: about 1974-1982
  • Age at Time of Disappearance: 21-29 years old
  • Height and Weight at Time of Disappearance: "tall"; 90 lbs (41 kg).
  • Distinguishing Characteristics: Asian female (she is Korean in origin). She has light-colored, dyed brown hair.
  • Other: She drives a two-door red vehicle with a "wing" on the trunk lid.
 
I just wonder how you can agree to watch a child and know so little about the mother. I won't watch a child without a good cell number for emergencies and the name of the parent. Actually I only watch my friends kids. I'm thinking the child is probably better off though. As sad as it sounds I glad the mother didn't kill him. She probably felt as if she was doing the right thing for the child.
 
At least this handicapped child will have a chance at life. He wasn't bashed in the head or smothered, or set on fire like so many kids we read about and weep over.

I think the state is doing the wrong thing by trying to find the mother. Leave her alone- it's clear she doesn't want the handicapped child. Let him go to someone's loving arms who can raise him well with his special needs.
JMO with respect always.
Maria
 
Something very similar happend to me when I was a 20 year old babysitting to help pay bills.

I watched twin 3 year old boys who were scared to death of everything. They were wonderful kids but very shy and nervous. I didn't have children myself then so I completely loved these boys like they were my own. They had their own room so they could spend the night and everything...

Anyways, the mom, a single mother who was 33 and loved to party dropped the kids off Tueday morning to go to work and never came back. I tried her work number, she was fired, I tried her home number, it was turned off and I tried to page her (hey! This was back in the early 90's!) and she never returned my calls.

No way to contact anyone! Hubby and I debated calling the police and decided to just keep the boys until she called. She called a week later crying asking if we turned her in to DHS. I told her no (we did the next day) and she sent her mother to pick up the boys. Her mother got custody of the boys and they are now great guys!

I feel stupid now not calling DHS but I was young and totally loved the boys.
 
pixies said:
Something very similar happend to me when I was a 20 year old babysitting to help pay bills.

I watched twin 3 year old boys who were scared to death of everything. They were wonderful kids but very shy and nervous. I didn't have children myself then so I completely loved these boys like they were my own. They had their own room so they could spend the night and everything...

Anyways, the mom, a single mother who was 33 and loved to party dropped the kids off Tueday morning to go to work and never came back. I tried her work number, she was fired, I tried her home number, it was turned off and I tried to page her (hey! This was back in the early 90's!) and she never returned my calls.

No way to contact anyone! Hubby and I debated calling the police and decided to just keep the boys until she called. She called a week later crying asking if we turned her in to DHS. I told her no (we did the next day) and she sent her mother to pick up the boys. Her mother got custody of the boys and they are now great guys!

I feel stupid now not calling DHS but I was young and totally loved the boys.
Click to expand...


I'm happy you were there for the boys when their mother was not. You provided them stability in their unstable world. You probably had a huge impact on their lives. You should be very proud of yourself. I would not feel stupid for not calling DHS. You loved the boys, and took good care of them. Besides you did call DHS when the time was right. Just think those boys were with you being loved and then went to their grandmothers to be loved. If you had called DHS right away they would have ended up in foster care until their mom and eventually grandma were located. You actually helped keep them out of the system.:clap:
 
SeekingJana said:
I think the state is doing the wrong thing by trying to find the mother. Leave her alone- it's clear she doesn't want the handicapped child. Let him go to someone's loving arms who can raise him well with his special needs.
JMO with respect always.
Maria
Click to expand...

Maria, I wonder though if the state has reason to believe that the woman who left him wasn't really his mother, and that part of their concern is if *she* was killed/injured and the baby kidnapped? Wasn't there a case like that fairly recently where a baby was "abandoned" at a hospital, but it turned out his mother had been murdered?

Otherwise, I agree with you. But if there's a chance that the mother didn't give him up of her own free will....
 
There was an unidentified child in San Fran 4 years back who was about 5 years old and he had been found wandering the streets. Some woman claimed she was his mom and it was later proven that she wasn't his mom. I think she was later put under psychiatric evaluation. Apparently America's Most Wanted had profiled him on their website, but later removed him without reason. According to AMW, the boy had a speech impediment or something of the kind. I posted about the boy a while back:
http://websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39000

A picture of the child:
http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/4651/toddlerlg18me.jpg
 
The woman never picked up the child - there are any number of possibilities here. She could have been injured or murdered, she could have been living under a false identity and forced to leave, she could have been an illegal alien and picked up by INS. Unless and until she is found, I would not judge her too harshly. She may not have abandoned the child willingly.
 
Did the police check with hospitals, paediatricians, Down Syndrome groups and associations for records of baby boys newly diagnosed with Down Syndrome in New Jersery in late 2002/early 2003? Or surrounding states if no matches? I realise there is patient confidentiality but they could show the baby's picture and share their case information and ask doctors, hospital administrators, Down syndrome support group managers etc and ask them to check their records for possible matches and if they could then try to contact those families. If they couldn't be located or a family was found with a child who had unaccountably disappeared there may be a clue to the baby's identity. There's also the slim possibility that this was an adoption gone wrong and the family found they could not cope with a special needs child after all. It could also be worthwhile showing the little boy's picture to Down Syndrome support groups in New Jersey and surrounding states. If the family couldn't cope they may have come to one of these groups for information and support before they realised ultimately they couldn't handle raising a child with Down Syndrome.
 
What about online groups and postings? This was pretty recent. Maybe if the mother was having doubts she would've been more comfortable seeking out answers in a more anonymous fashion like the internet?
 
Submitted this abandoned baby boy to the RCMP as a possible son to -

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...e-HC1698-35-45-Motel-AKA-Deuong-Cheron-May-03

This child was abandoned on 24 Jan 2003 (New Jersey) and the UID male was found 9 May 2003 (Grand Rapids, Manitoba). The mother that dropped the child off was thought to be Korean as is the UID male in Manitoba.

Is it possible for someone that might see the same possibility to submit properly to the NJ authorities? Not sure I will do it right the first time. TIA.
 
He was pretty clearly abandoned, and the immediate efforts to find his mother were unsuccessful. I would think in such a case the baby would be freed for adoption quite quickly, unlike the foster kids whose parents are given endless chances for reunification thus holding the kids in limbo for decades.

Clearly the mother should have womaned-up and given her baby up for adoption immediately after birth if she did not want a special needs child. If she tried to parent the child despite her unhappiness with his Down's, she certainly made a half-***ed attempt, as it only took her four months to give him up.

Despite my rage for the so-called mother here, I'm sure the act of abandoning him got news coverage at the time, and therefore many more prospective parents that would be more than happy to have the opportunity to parent such an adorable little baby like this little guy, despite the extra work involved. I'll bet he is somewhere smiling today with his loving adoptive family, not even aware of the story behind his adoption.
 
New Jersey State Police - Unidentified Persons (Living) - Bergen County

BERGEN COUNTY
Unidentified Living Male Infant (Asian)

CASE INFORMATION

This infant was abandoned on January 24, 2003 in Little Ferry, New Jersey by a mother who is Korean in origin. The mother is in her 20's and is described as being tall and weighing approximately 90 lbs. She has light-colored, dyed brown hair. She operates a red colored 2 door vehicle with a "wing" on the trunk lid.


NIC#
U020004035

Case Number
#2003-1344

Date Abandoned
January 24, 2003

BIOLOGICAL PROFILE
Age
2 - 4 months
Sex
Male
Race
Asian
Height
23"
Weight
11 lbs.
Hair
Black
Eyes
Brown
OTHER
Infant is diagnosed with Down's Syndrome
If you have any information about this case or the identification of this individual, please contact:
The New Jersey State Police at 1-800-709-7090 or e-mail at missingp@gw.njsp.org .

Little Ferry Police Department - 201-641-2770
 
What a darling little baby he was!

I hope he's living a happy life... wherever he is now.
If something happened to his mother, or mother and father, I hope his DNA helped locate some of his blood relatives.
 
Sometimes it feels like women are shamed no matter what they do.

If she'd given him up at birth she'd be shamed for not being able to cope with a disabled child, and for not even trying. If she'd kept him longer than four months she'd have been shamed for not giving him up sooner. And as it is, she's being shamed for (what I believe happened) trying her best because she loved her baby but realising she couldn't cope. She didn't just abandon him in the woods to die, she made sure he was somewhere safe. JMO

It's possible that something happened to the mother, but I personally think she didn't intend to return. There's a lot of stigma around disability in Asian communities. I think it would be very difficult to find her now. By 'Korean in origin', I'm curious if that means she was ethnically Korean with an American accent, or if she had a Korean accent. If she had an American accent, I wonder how the babysitter could tell she was ethnically Korean? Generally, people who aren't Asian themselves might not be able to tell the difference visually between someone who is Korean and someone who is, say, Japanese or Chinese. Maybe the babysitter was Asian? Hmm.
 
Around the early 2000’s, there was a very high concentration of Koreans to that area in NJ. Palisades Park is almost completely Korean at this point. In the beginning they did not have many police that spoke the language etc. but now they hold office, have police officers etc. I am not familiar enough with Korean culture to comment but I know in Japan it was a great shame to have a child with Down syndrome.
 
According to this article, they were investigating the possibility that something had happened to the mom instead of her abandoning him intentionally. Apparently, the babysitter had been looking after the boy every night for the last few days, and that the woman who dropped him off, who was thought to be his mother, "was always well-dressed and prompt". The child was in good health, apparently well cared for with no signs of abuse.

The babysitter was also Korean. According to Bergen County Prosecutor John L. Molinelli, they didn't think it was weird that she didn't have the mother's contact information or know her name because there might have been cultural factors at play. I have the sense that this little boy, now a young man, is probably living a good life somewhere today. Maybe the reason they're looking for the mother is more because they said they were worried something had happened to her.
 
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