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  1. #31
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    I also searched the following ironman races and there is not a brad cooper registered: ironman cord'alene, ironman canada, ironman california 70.3.. which is a half ironman, and ironmans florida, wisconsin, and arizona

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by nursebeeme View Post
    [B]
    Some rumors state he was having an affair with her best friend. Her best friend's husband was heading up the search. Did anyone find it interesting HE was heading up the search and not Brad?
    I never heard the woman was a best friend, I only heard it was a former friend. I doubt any of her close friends (the ones that organized the search and the ones that have been doing interviews on tv talk shows like the today show) would have been THAT friend. I have the feeling nancy would have distanced herself from the woman who was having the affair with her husband.

  3. #33
    curiositycat's Avatar
    curiositycat is offline The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience
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    Quote Originally Posted by nursebeeme View Post
    #71
    07-16-2008, 09:53 PM
    Had an interesting chat with the local neighbors this evening. A few thoughts to throw out...food for thought.

    Brad seems to be quite arrogant. Is it possible she came home from the party and found him home with someone?

    Some rumors state he was having an affair with her best friend. Her best friend's husband was heading up the search. Did anyone find it interesting HE was heading up the search and not Brad?

    IF he did this could his fear have been that she was going to take the girls back to Canada where her family is and he would have never seen them again? Could that have been his motive? It seems he didn't like to loose.
    ````````````````````````
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    bump from buta
    Whatever happened either at that party, or when she got home was the "straw that broke the camels back" on that relationship. In some way it was about the "other" woman. I think any woman here can imagine several ways it could have played out. One of them is the one you mention. IF she came home early and the other woman was there all **** may have broken lose. This could also explain how Brad left for the store @ 4am without the children. MAYBE the other woman was there watching them. I change my theory from moment to moment..but this is one of them.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiositycat View Post
    Whatever happened either at that party, or when she got home was the "straw that broke the camels back" on that relationship. In some way it was about the "other" woman. I think any woman here can imagine several ways it could have played out. One of them is the one you mention. IF she came home early and the other woman was there all **** may have broken lose. This could also explain how Brad left for the store @ 4am without the children. MAYBE the other woman was there watching them. I change my theory from moment to moment..but this is one of them.
    I hadn't thought of someone else being at the house Friday night but that sure would explain a lot of possible scenarios. It's also eerily similar to what I think happened with Maria Lauterbach, only in this case it was the wife who was killed.

  5. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by curiositycat View Post
    Whatever happened either at that party, or when she got home was the "straw that broke the camels back" on that relationship. In some way it was about the "other" woman. I think any woman here can imagine several ways it could have played out. One of them is the one you mention. IF she came home early and the other woman was there all **** may have broken lose. This could also explain how Brad left for the store @ 4am without the children. MAYBE the other woman was there watching them. I change my theory from moment to moment..but this is one of them.
    Since it is possible the party was directly across the street from Nancy's house, it is very unlikely that the mistress would be there. However, it doesn't mean that she wasn't there when whatever happened to Nancy occurred. If indeed LE is looking at other people in this case...it is possible she helped with the cover up or stayed with the children while he did other things away from the house during the night.
    "WE SEEK FOR THE TRUTH. WE SEEK JUSTICE.
    THE COURTS REQUIRE IT. THE VICTIMS CRY FOR IT
    AND GOD DEMANDS IT!"

    A quote spray painted on the wall by search
    and rescue workers, Team 5, at the OKC Bombing site 4-19-1995.



    What I post are my opinions only.

  6. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by angiej View Post
    I never heard the woman was a best friend, I only heard it was a former friend. I doubt any of her close friends (the ones that organized the search and the ones that have been doing interviews on tv talk shows like the today show) would have been THAT friend. I have the feeling nancy would have distanced herself from the woman who was having the affair with her husband.
    I absolutely agree.
    "WE SEEK FOR THE TRUTH. WE SEEK JUSTICE.
    THE COURTS REQUIRE IT. THE VICTIMS CRY FOR IT
    AND GOD DEMANDS IT!"

    A quote spray painted on the wall by search
    and rescue workers, Team 5, at the OKC Bombing site 4-19-1995.



    What I post are my opinions only.

  7. #37
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    Just me again...I see that a couple of people have asked why BC and I broke up. He was not cheating on me (that I knew of) but who knows?? To be honest, I truly could not deal with the emotional rollercoaster of being with him...the ups, the downs, the pouting, the sulking, the threats, the belittling...ask him what's wrong and get a snarky "nothing", have him pout for a week and then he suddenly erupts with a month's worth of things. The comments and the belittling ("you know you can never do better than me", "you know this is the best relationship you've ever been in", "you know you could never get someone who can afford the life you want like I can", "no one will ever love you like I do", "you'll never leave me, you know how good you have it with me", "you look like ***** in that", "that makes you look fat", "no one will ever look at you in that", etc.). It took a huge toll on me personally, my self esteem, my being.

    I am not a materialistic person. He wanted everything that made him look like he could afford all, even if he couldn't. He always wanted the car that made everyone look, the clothes that everyone always complimented him on, the physique, the everything. He just needed to look like he always had it all. I don't care about material items, I want my friends and my family and laughs and that was so far from his mind. Me me me.....it became unbearable.

    There were other issues as well but these were some of the issues and I just couldn't take it. For a time, I couldn't leave it either because I had come to believe that he was right. Here was an attractive man telling me these things. Maybe I couldn't do better, maybe this was it. Thank god for my friends and my family to have finally convinced me that I could get out of it, that I did deserve better and that the things that he had tried to push into my head and control me with were untrue. It has been a long hard road away from that time and even now, the unhealthy aspects of that relationship still haunt me.

    Too much information, I'm sure.

  8. #38
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    RKAB, well based on what you went through, I'm VERY HAPPY that you reached escape velocity from that dysfunctional relationship with BC. NO ONE should ever be treated like that (or put up with that or feel they need to). IMHO it's much better to be alone than in a rel'p in which you are not being treated with respect, cherished, and appreciated.

    It's too bad Nancy was not able to escape in time. Sounds like she could have had a great life ahead of her.

    I hope your story will serve to help other women who might be in similar situations with partners/spouses/BFs who treat them with less respect than they know they deserve.

    Thank you for sharing with us here.

  9. #39
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    RKAB - having been with a creature like that myself I totally hear what you're saying, and I'm so very, very happy that you were able to walk away from the situation and relationship!!! No one deserves to be treated like that; and it's so sad to realize just how terrible things had to have been for Nancy...

  10. #40
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    RKAB:

    Thank you for posting here and for your very enlightening look into the psych of Brad.

    I'm glad that you were able to escape the situation before anything happened to you. I know people personally who weren't quite so lucky. Well, they didn't realize the person was dangerous until they were much further into the relationship, ie married. It's too bad Nancy didn't find out sooner. She may never have seen this coming. They quite often don't.

    I'm sure this situation has completely blown you away because of your history with some of those involved. I hope you're able to talk to someone who will help you to deal with this. These kind of crimes leave a title-wave of victims.

    I'll remember you when I look through this case and pray you're able to find personal peace.

    Best of luck,
    JMHO
    fran


  11. #41
    curiositycat's Avatar
    curiositycat is offline The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience
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    Quote Originally Posted by RKAB View Post
    Just me again...I see that a couple of people have asked why BC and I broke up. He was not cheating on me (that I knew of) but who knows?? To be honest, I truly could not deal with the emotional rollercoaster of being with him...the ups, the downs, the pouting, the sulking, the threats, the belittling...ask him what's wrong and get a snarky "nothing", have him pout for a week and then he suddenly erupts with a month's worth of things. The comments and the belittling ("you know you can never do better than me", "you know this is the best relationship you've ever been in", "you know you could never get someone who can afford the life you want like I can", "no one will ever love you like I do", "you'll never leave me, you know how good you have it with me", "you look like ***** in that", "that makes you look fat", "no one will ever look at you in that", etc.). It took a huge toll on me personally, my self esteem, my being.

    I am not a materialistic person. He wanted everything that made him look like he could afford all, even if he couldn't. He always wanted the car that made everyone look, the clothes that everyone always complimented him on, the physique, the everything. He just needed to look like he always had it all. I don't care about material items, I want my friends and my family and laughs and that was so far from his mind. Me me me.....it became unbearable.

    There were other issues as well but these were some of the issues and I just couldn't take it. For a time, I couldn't leave it either because I had come to believe that he was right. Here was an attractive man telling me these things. Maybe I couldn't do better, maybe this was it. Thank god for my friends and my family to have finally convinced me that I could get out of it, that I did deserve better and that the things that he had tried to push into my head and control me with were untrue. It has been a long hard road away from that time and even now, the unhealthy aspects of that relationship still haunt me.

    Too much information, I'm sure.
    What a clear picture of a classic abuser. So low on self-esteem that he tears others down to build himself up.
    Thank you for sharing this. It's a real eye-opener. As someone who was abused and has counseled and helped abused women I sometimes think that verbal abuse is much more toxic then "physical." As you said so well those hurtful things can stay in your head for a long, long time.

  12. #42
    Quote Originally Posted by Magister View Post
    nursebeeme,
    I fully understand. My point was actually directed toward SS' intro, but like I say, I'm really just being a stickler for semantics.
    I agree and point taken, Magister. I would change the intro if I could, but it is too late now. I will choose my words more carefully in the future. Thanks for the reminder.
    "WE SEEK FOR THE TRUTH. WE SEEK JUSTICE.
    THE COURTS REQUIRE IT. THE VICTIMS CRY FOR IT
    AND GOD DEMANDS IT!"

    A quote spray painted on the wall by search
    and rescue workers, Team 5, at the OKC Bombing site 4-19-1995.



    What I post are my opinions only.

  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by RKAB View Post
    Just me again...I see that a couple of people have asked why BC and I broke up. He was not cheating on me (that I knew of) but who knows?? To be honest, I truly could not deal with the emotional rollercoaster of being with him...the ups, the downs, the pouting, the sulking, the threats, the belittling...ask him what's wrong and get a snarky "nothing", have him pout for a week and then he suddenly erupts with a month's worth of things. The comments and the belittling ("you know you can never do better than me", "you know this is the best relationship you've ever been in", "you know you could never get someone who can afford the life you want like I can", "no one will ever love you like I do", "you'll never leave me, you know how good you have it with me", "you look like ***** in that", "that makes you look fat", "no one will ever look at you in that", etc.). It took a huge toll on me personally, my self esteem, my being.

    I am not a materialistic person. He wanted everything that made him look like he could afford all, even if he couldn't. He always wanted the car that made everyone look, the clothes that everyone always complimented him on, the physique, the everything. He just needed to look like he always had it all. I don't care about material items, I want my friends and my family and laughs and that was so far from his mind. Me me me.....it became unbearable.

    There were other issues as well but these were some of the issues and I just couldn't take it. For a time, I couldn't leave it either because I had come to believe that he was right. Here was an attractive man telling me these things. Maybe I couldn't do better, maybe this was it. Thank god for my friends and my family to have finally convinced me that I could get out of it, that I did deserve better and that the things that he had tried to push into my head and control me with were untrue. It has been a long hard road away from that time and even now, the unhealthy aspects of that relationship still haunt me.

    Too much information, I'm sure.
    RKAB, I'm so glad you got out of that situation...I myself was in a similar one, and I know how it can wear you down. Poor Nancy, probably felt stuck, with 2 children and all. That's verbal abuse, messing with your mind, and no one deserves that. Hopefully this story will help others in the same situation.

    Not too much information, thanks for sharing!!
    K
    Last edited by kel; 07-23-2008 at 02:50 AM. Reason: Add a PS

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by RKAB View Post
    Too much information, I'm sure.
    Nah......not too much info at all me likey!!! Awesome post...I wasn't sure where to snip it at LOL. Your post about BC aids in bringing an even clearer picture of him into focus.

    I'm glad you had your family and friends to guide you and I'm very, very, very glad you got out of the relationship with him.
    Everyone sees who you appear to be ... few really know who you are.

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by RKAB View Post
    Just me again...I see that a couple of people have asked why BC and I broke up. He was not cheating on me (that I knew of) but who knows?? To be honest, I truly could not deal with the emotional rollercoaster of being with him...the ups, the downs, the pouting, the sulking, the threats, the belittling...ask him what's wrong and get a snarky "nothing", have him pout for a week and then he suddenly erupts with a month's worth of things. The comments and the belittling ("you know you can never do better than me", "you know this is the best relationship you've ever been in", "you know you could never get someone who can afford the life you want like I can", "no one will ever love you like I do", "you'll never leave me, you know how good you have it with me", "you look like ***** in that", "that makes you look fat", "no one will ever look at you in that", etc.). It took a huge toll on me personally, my self esteem, my being.

    I am not a materialistic person. He wanted everything that made him look like he could afford all, even if he couldn't. He always wanted the car that made everyone look, the clothes that everyone always complimented him on, the physique, the everything. He just needed to look like he always had it all. I don't care about material items, I want my friends and my family and laughs and that was so far from his mind. Me me me.....it became unbearable.

    There were other issues as well but these were some of the issues and I just couldn't take it. For a time, I couldn't leave it either because I had come to believe that he was right. Here was an attractive man telling me these things. Maybe I couldn't do better, maybe this was it. Thank god for my friends and my family to have finally convinced me that I could get out of it, that I did deserve better and that the things that he had tried to push into my head and control me with were untrue. It has been a long hard road away from that time and even now, the unhealthy aspects of that relationship still haunt me.

    Too much information, I'm sure.
    Based on your post, Brad's self serving blogs and the court documents in the custody case, Brad is a text book narcissist


    Believing that you're better than others
    Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
    Exaggerating your achievements or talents
    Expecting constant praise and admiration
    Believing that you're special
    Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
    Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
    Taking advantage of others
    Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
    Being jealous of others
    Believing that others are jealous of you
    Trouble keeping healthy relationships
    Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

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