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  1. #1
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    Pysche: Why SOME parents cover for their childrens' actions

    This topic isn't news, imo. We see it everyday and we've perhaps also been party to it ourselves. While I don't have children, I have a horrible sibling. I watched my mom make excuses for his nasty, cruel and in some instances -- illegal -- behavior, throughout her life. She died two years ago, making excuses for why he didn't visit her on her death bed.

    I, on the other hand, never made excuses for why he didn't visit her on her death bed or that he didn't even show up for her funeral, yet was sure to hire an attorney to fight me on her will. (He lost, by the way.)

    With that story as a preface, I can easily see why Cindy and George are pulling at straws (badly!) to defend not only their daughter's innocence, but to hold at bay the notion that little Caylee no longer walks among the living.

    Have you had experiences where you felt compelled to defend the horrible actions of another? If so, there was probably a point where you let reality consume you. And I'm betting it was a sad day.

    Last edited by SelmaClue; 08-13-2008 at 08:16 PM.

  2. #2
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    Follow-up:

    "There's more to this saga, this story, than what people are led to believe and doesn't realize. There really is," grandfather George Anthony said.

    Caylee's grandfather said he refuses to believe she could be dead and believes the toddler was kidnapped.

    "These people know that they're being watched. They know it," George Anthony said.


    SOURCE: http://www.wesh.com/news/17177112/detail.html

    George is drinking the Kool Aid and it hasn't yet made him sick. It's both simple and sad.

  3. #3
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    Until you have a child of your own, there is no way to understand the parent/child dynamic and the unconditional love that goes along with it. Although I have met some detached parents in my life, I find it to be a very rare occasion that a parent would not lie, cheat and steal to protect their child. It is inate and near impossible to ignore.

    For a simple scenario, you need only to look at a schoolyard playground. Johnny could throw a rock and hit Bobby in the head because he called him a loser. Johnny's mother would insist that her son would never throw a rock at anyone and Bobby's mother would insist that her son would never call anyone a name like that. The two moms would be more likely to fight one another and forever hold a grudge against one another than to ever, ever admit that their child could be wrong.

    As a mom, I do try to see my children's faults in order to help them grow up to be respectable, considerate, and educated people; but even with that being said, God forbid anyone else should ever throw a stone at one of them because you will see a Mama Bear like no other.

    I hate to say it this way...but you have to be a parent in order to understand a parent.
    "The opinion prevailed among advanced minds that it was time that belief should be replaced increasingly by knowledge; belief that did not itself rest on knowledge was superstition, and as such had to be opposed." - Albert Einstein

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripleA View Post
    I hate to say it this way...but you have to be a parent in order to understand a parent.
    I'm hoping your post was a generality and not to me personally. Reason? I've already said I'm not a parent. Yet, I do understand exactly what you just described.

    I don't have to like it or feel it's warranted or right or makes sense in any way, but I understand the reason and the dynamic.

  5. #5
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    I agree TripleA I try to see my childrens faults as well. I have always groomed them to accept accountability. This is the very reason. Chilren will turn out to be "the victims" always if not.

    There have been times when as a Mama Bear I have stood up to roar! That has been when absolulty necessary, when my child(ren) have been picked on enough. The key is to waiting until they can figure it out.

    There was a day when my youngest was in Kindergarten and was hit by another girl. The girl who hit her was from a home with a terrible background. That girls was sent to the principals office and spoken to. The teacher let me know what happened. As we were leaving my daughter said: "thats too bad ....... was sent to the princiapls office, that is why I told her she could not be in my club!" (there is no club to be in , but thats how young girls are) I walked straight from the car and took her to the Ps office. Why? because that was a terribly mean thing to say to a girl who had been what she had. And my daughter knew of her background.

    The P talked to my daughter and told her that it was hurtful and we don't do that sort of stuff. I was pleased. Why? I wanted and still do, my children to see that words hurt the same as a hit.

    So as far as I am concerned, this is just how Casey could have been raised. "Its always someone elses fault.

    Make your children accountable!

  6. #6
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    Yikes! I think first off, there is a difference in whether a parent would "lie, cheat or steal" to, say get food for their young child in dire circumstances, and a parent who would do the same for an adult "child" who was in trouble with the law.
    I am a parent of two, one 24 and one 26, and no, I would not lie cheat or steal for either of them. I love them dearly...but there are limits. Beyond that, I have very little patience for an adult "child" and "grandparents" who all seem to value their own circumstances, feelings and needs far more than the safety of a tiny child.
    This is a relevant discussion. I think, though, the topic might be more accurately titled why SOME parents cover for their children's actions.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gin View Post
    Yikes! I think first off, there is a difference in whether a parent would "lie, cheat or steal" to, say get food for their young child in dire circumstances, and a parent who would do the same for an adult "child" who was in trouble with the law.
    Thank you.

  8. #8
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    Psyche: Why some parents cover for their childrens' actions

    Quote Originally Posted by Gin View Post
    I think, though, the topic might be more accurately titled why SOME parents cover for their children's actions.
    Agreed. How do I change the thread title? Editing my first post doesn't do it.
    Thanks!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SelmaClue View Post
    Agreed. How do I change the thread title? Editing my first post doesn't do it.
    Thanks!
    If you want to edit the title, I think you can do that by first hitting edit, and then hit go advanced. (Fingers crossed that I remembered how it's done...)

  10. #10
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    As a parent I teach my kid NOT to Lie, Cheat, Steal!!! There is no way I would turn around and do what I teach them not to do.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gin View Post
    If you want to edit the title, I think you can do that by first hitting edit, and then hit go advanced. (Fingers crossed that I remembered how it's done...)
    Thanks, Gin .. that worked

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysticj View Post
    As a parent I teach my kid NOT to Lie, Cheat, Steal!!! There is no way I would turn around and do what I teach them not to do.
    Of course you wouldn't, Mystic. My thoughts are, in the context of this thread, that we're talking about parents in denial about their kids' behavior and how sad it can become when the truth is .............. they did their very best and somehow, that kid just wound up wired .......... wrong. Not the parents' fault, but they stick up for them anyway and pretend to not know there's something horribly askew.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SelmaClue View Post
    I'm hoping your post was a generality and not to me personally. Reason? I've already said I'm not a parent. Yet, I do understand exactly what you just described.

    I don't have to like it or feel it's warranted or right or makes sense in any way, but I understand the reason and the dynamic.
    It was a generality.

    I did not mean "lie, cheat and steal" in a literal sense, I meant it as that most parents will go to extremes to protect their children. I do think that the Anthonys are pushing their luck, by incriminating themselves in what looks like a very serious crime, but I understand that their intentions are probably only to protect their child.
    "The opinion prevailed among advanced minds that it was time that belief should be replaced increasingly by knowledge; belief that did not itself rest on knowledge was superstition, and as such had to be opposed." - Albert Einstein

  14. #14
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    I would never go to this extent to protect myself or anyone else and have never known anyone who would. I've known people who try and blame everything and everyone else for their kids behavior, but nothing like this before. If one of my kids did something bad I might want to investigate mental illness and support them, but would never go on national television and make all sorts of excuses and inconsistencies. I'd keep quiet and listen to the attorney and LE.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by SelmaClue View Post
    Of course you wouldn't, Mystic. My thoughts are, in the context of this thread, that we're talking about parents in denial about their kids' behavior and how sad it can become when the truth is .............. they did their very best and somehow, that kid just wound up wired .......... wrong. Not the parents' fault, but they stick up for them anyway and pretend to not know there's something horribly askew.

    This is a weird case... I am thinking that maybe because Casey lies that they are not in denial. I don't think they believe but say they do because they are afraid of loosing her also. I think everything they are doing is because they know she is going to be tried and everything they do in the media can go towards reasonable doubt. IMO. They have frogotten about Caylee so that their daughter will hopefully not go to prison for life.....Well you can X out all I said right there because if that is not denial I do not know what is.

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