Pysche: Why SOME parents cover for their childrens' actions

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SelmaClue

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This topic isn't news, imo. We see it everyday and we've perhaps also been party to it ourselves. While I don't have children, I have a horrible sibling. I watched my mom make excuses for his nasty, cruel and in some instances -- illegal -- behavior, throughout her life. She died two years ago, making excuses for why he didn't visit her on her death bed.

I, on the other hand, never made excuses for why he didn't visit her on her death bed or that he didn't even show up for her funeral, yet was sure to hire an attorney to fight me on her will. (He lost, by the way.)

With that story as a preface, I can easily see why Cindy and George are pulling at straws (badly!) to defend not only their daughter's innocence, but to hold at bay the notion that little Caylee no longer walks among the living.

Have you had experiences where you felt compelled to defend the horrible actions of another? If so, there was probably a point where you let reality consume you. And I'm betting it was a sad day.

:confused:
 
Follow-up:

"There's more to this saga, this story, than what people are led to believe and doesn't realize. There really is," grandfather George Anthony said.

Caylee's grandfather said he refuses to believe she could be dead and believes the toddler was kidnapped.

"These people know that they're being watched. They know it," George Anthony said.

SOURCE: http://www.wesh.com/news/17177112/detail.html

George is drinking the Kool Aid and it hasn't yet made him sick. It's both simple and sad.
 
Until you have a child of your own, there is no way to understand the parent/child dynamic and the unconditional love that goes along with it. Although I have met some detached parents in my life, I find it to be a very rare occasion that a parent would not lie, cheat and steal to protect their child. It is inate and near impossible to ignore.

For a simple scenario, you need only to look at a schoolyard playground. Johnny could throw a rock and hit Bobby in the head because he called him a loser. Johnny's mother would insist that her son would never throw a rock at anyone and Bobby's mother would insist that her son would never call anyone a name like that. The two moms would be more likely to fight one another and forever hold a grudge against one another than to ever, ever admit that their child could be wrong.

As a mom, I do try to see my children's faults in order to help them grow up to be respectable, considerate, and educated people; but even with that being said, God forbid anyone else should ever throw a stone at one of them because you will see a Mama Bear like no other.

I hate to say it this way...but you have to be a parent in order to understand a parent.
 
TripleA said:
I hate to say it this way...but you have to be a parent in order to understand a parent.
Click to expand...

I'm hoping your post was a generality and not to me personally. Reason? I've already said I'm not a parent. Yet, I do understand exactly what you just described.

I don't have to like it or feel it's warranted or right or makes sense in any way, but I understand the reason and the dynamic.
:)
 
I agree TripleA I try to see my childrens faults as well. I have always groomed them to accept accountability. This is the very reason. Chilren will turn out to be "the victims" always if not.

There have been times when as a Mama Bear I have stood up to roar! That has been when absolulty necessary, when my child(ren) have been picked on enough. The key is to waiting until they can figure it out.

There was a day when my youngest was in Kindergarten and was hit by another girl. The girl who hit her was from a home with a terrible background. That girls was sent to the principals office and spoken to. The teacher let me know what happened. As we were leaving my daughter said: "thats too bad ....... was sent to the princiapls office, that is why I told her she could not be in my club!" (there is no club to be in , but thats how young girls are) I walked straight from the car and took her to the Ps office. Why? because that was a terribly mean thing to say to a girl who had been what she had. And my daughter knew of her background.

The P talked to my daughter and told her that it was hurtful and we don't do that sort of stuff. I was pleased. Why? I wanted and still do, my children to see that words hurt the same as a hit.

So as far as I am concerned, this is just how Casey could have been raised. "Its always someone elses fault.

Make your children accountable!
 
Yikes! I think first off, there is a difference in whether a parent would "lie, cheat or steal" to, say get food for their young child in dire circumstances, and a parent who would do the same for an adult "child" who was in trouble with the law.
I am a parent of two, one 24 and one 26, and no, I would not lie cheat or steal for either of them. I love them dearly...but there are limits. Beyond that, I have very little patience for an adult "child" and "grandparents" who all seem to value their own circumstances, feelings and needs far more than the safety of a tiny child.
This is a relevant discussion. I think, though, the topic might be more accurately titled why SOME parents cover for their children's actions.
 
Gin said:
Yikes! I think first off, there is a difference in whether a parent would "lie, cheat or steal" to, say get food for their young child in dire circumstances, and a parent who would do the same for an adult "child" who was in trouble with the law.
Click to expand...

Thank you.
:)
 
Gin said:
I think, though, the topic might be more accurately titled why SOME parents cover for their children's actions.
Click to expand...

Agreed. How do I change the thread title? Editing my first post doesn't do it.
Thanks!
 
SelmaClue said:
Agreed. How do I change the thread title? Editing my first post doesn't do it.
Thanks!
Click to expand...
If you want to edit the title, I think you can do that by first hitting edit, and then hit go advanced. (Fingers crossed that I remembered how it's done...)
 
As a parent I teach my kid NOT to Lie, Cheat, Steal!!! There is no way I would turn around and do what I teach them not to do.
 
Gin said:
If you want to edit the title, I think you can do that by first hitting edit, and then hit go advanced. (Fingers crossed that I remembered how it's done...)
Click to expand...

Thanks, Gin .. that worked :)
 
Mysticj said:
As a parent I teach my kid NOT to Lie, Cheat, Steal!!! There is no way I would turn around and do what I teach them not to do.
Click to expand...

Of course you wouldn't, Mystic. My thoughts are, in the context of this thread, that we're talking about parents in denial about their kids' behavior and how sad it can become when the truth is .............. they did their very best and somehow, that kid just wound up wired .......... wrong. Not the parents' fault, but they stick up for them anyway and pretend to not know there's something horribly askew.
 
SelmaClue said:
I'm hoping your post was a generality and not to me personally. Reason? I've already said I'm not a parent. Yet, I do understand exactly what you just described.

I don't have to like it or feel it's warranted or right or makes sense in any way, but I understand the reason and the dynamic.
:)
Click to expand...

It was a generality.

I did not mean "lie, cheat and steal" in a literal sense, I meant it as that most parents will go to extremes to protect their children. I do think that the Anthonys are pushing their luck, by incriminating themselves in what looks like a very serious crime, but I understand that their intentions are probably only to protect their child.
 
I would never go to this extent to protect myself or anyone else and have never known anyone who would. I've known people who try and blame everything and everyone else for their kids behavior, but nothing like this before. If one of my kids did something bad I might want to investigate mental illness and support them, but would never go on national television and make all sorts of excuses and inconsistencies. I'd keep quiet and listen to the attorney and LE.
 
SelmaClue said:
Of course you wouldn't, Mystic. My thoughts are, in the context of this thread, that we're talking about parents in denial about their kids' behavior and how sad it can become when the truth is .............. they did their very best and somehow, that kid just wound up wired .......... wrong. Not the parents' fault, but they stick up for them anyway and pretend to not know there's something horribly askew.
Click to expand...


This is a weird case... I am thinking that maybe because Casey lies that they are not in denial. I don't think they believe but say they do because they are afraid of loosing her also. I think everything they are doing is because they know she is going to be tried and everything they do in the media can go towards reasonable doubt. IMO. They have frogotten about Caylee so that their daughter will hopefully not go to prison for life.....Well you can X out all I said right there because if that is not denial I do not know what is.:eek:
 
Parents who enable their children to the extent we're discussing are doing it so the PARENTS will look good. If Casey allowed anything bad to happen to Caylee then George and Cindy look like really bad parents. Their line of reasoning goes: We're not bad parents, we didn't raise an child that could harm her own child, therefore our child is telling the truth because any other situation would mean we failed as parents and we can't believe/accept that.

Enablers enable for their own personal gain/reasons not for the benefit of the enabled one (although they justify it/tell themselves it is for the good of the enabled one)

Therefore George and Cindy are behaving true to form, they are continuing to enable Casey just as they have always done. We really shouldn't expect anything else from them and I would even guess that if poor Caylee is deceased and irrefutable proof is provided, the Anthony's will never blame Casey. They will blame LE, the media, ZG, etc... but will never believe Casey is responsible because that would transfer some responsibility for this onto them and they can't accept that.

JMHO
 
s_finch said:
Parents who enable their children to the extent we're discussing are doing it so the PARENTS will look good. If Casey allowed anything bad to happen to Caylee then George and Cindy look like really bad parents. Their line of reasoning goes: We're not bad parents, we didn't raise an child that could harm her own child, therefore our child is telling the truth because any other situation would mean we failed as parents and we can't believe/accept that.

Enablers enable for their own personal gain/reasons not for the benefit of the enabled one (although they justify it/tell themselves it is for the good of the enabled one)

Therefore George and Cindy are behaving true to form, they are continuing to enable Casey just as they have always done. We really shouldn't expect anything else from them and I would even guess that if poor Caylee is deceased and irrefutable proof is provided, the Anthony's will never blame Casey. They will blame LE, the media, ZG, etc... but will never believe Casey is responsible because that would transfer some responsibility for this onto them and they can't accept that.

JMHO
Click to expand...

:clap::clap::clap::clap:
That's really kind of sad applause, though. You know what I mean.
:eek:uch:
 
IMHO...Cindy & George know the truth. They knew it when LE was first called. They told LE she was involved.
(They know the reason Casey was asked to leave the house...The argument on Father's Day...)
They love their daughter Casey are are just reiterating her falsehoods to the media and know that reasonable doubt will be needed for the trial for an easier jail sentence...That's all~
 
my husband who is a wonderful man denied his kids actions (18, 16 and 15) and their hatred of me so bad that it took a year of counseling for a counselor to convince him that GUILT not LOVE was motivating his actions
 
TripleA said:
Until you have a child of your own, there is no way to understand the parent/child dynamic and the unconditional love that goes along with it. Although I have met some detached parents in my life, I find it to be a very rare occasion that a parent would not lie, cheat and steal to protect their child. It is inate and near impossible to ignore.

For a simple scenario, you need only to look at a schoolyard playground. Johnny could throw a rock and hit Bobby in the head because he called him a loser. Johnny's mother would insist that her son would never throw a rock at anyone and Bobby's mother would insist that her son would never call anyone a name like that. The two moms would be more likely to fight one another and forever hold a grudge against one another than to ever, ever admit that their child could be wrong.

As a mom, I do try to see my children's faults in order to help them grow up to be respectable, considerate, and educated people; but even with that being said, God forbid anyone else should ever throw a stone at one of them because you will see a Mama Bear like no other.

I hate to say it this way...but you have to be a parent in order to understand a parent.
Click to expand...
I am a parent and do not understand at all what you just stated--- wow= just wow- :eek:
 
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