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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Another teen abandoned in Nebraksa

    What in Sam Hill is going on here? This is the second teen abandoned (other than the dad who dropped off his 9 kids last week.)
    Apparently, a "mother" drove her child over state lines from Michigan to abandon her 13-year-old at a hospital in Nebraska.


    OMAHA, Neb. - A Michigan mother drove roughly 12 hours to Omaha, so she could abandon her 13-year-old son at a hospital under the state's unique safe-haven law, Nebraska officials said Monday.


    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081014/..._us/safe_haven

    MG

  2. #2
    Blue_Dolphin308's Avatar
    Blue_Dolphin308 is offline We can't help everyone, But everyone can help someone!
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    Hard times call for desperate measures!
    Be Kind to yourself, you are worth it!

  3. #3
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    While there should be a safe place children can be taken when they are in danger whether it be from neglect or abuse I think this law is written too broadly. It shouldn't be considered an "easy out" for anyone. I'm not saying that this mother who took her child from Michigan to Nebraska didn't feel that this was her last hope--because obviously she drove 12 hours to get there. Detroit is a rough city and times are very hard right now but I am afraid that if this continues then they will either end it (the safe haven law) or re-write it too strictly where people who really desparately need it won't be able to use it. I'm a single mom and while my kids sometimes drive me crazy and money gets tight I cannot imagine doing this--hopefully the mother in this situation will get the help that she needs so she feels she can raise him instead of making him someone else's responsiblity.
    Here's what happened...

  4. #4
    I think this is better than killing your kid like so many we have read about here.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by winteryns View Post
    I think this is better than killing your kid like so many we have read about here.
    It is horrible to imagine that any parent would even consider abandoning their own child but as we have seen in many of the cases discussed on this website, it is far better than cold blooded murder.

  6. #6
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    They're going to have to repeal this law and change the wording. This is going to keep happening.

  7. #7
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    ...and so what if it does keep happening? I would much rather my tax dollars be used to take care of these kids for a few years than it be used to take care of their "parents" when they get life in prison after killing the kids.
    These kids did not ask to be put in this situation and I worry that if these kids realize how much everyday citizens are criticizing this law they will feel not only abandoned by their parents, but also everyone else in the world
    You won't cry for my absence, I know -
    You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...?
    Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing?
    Isn't someone missing me?
    Evanescence
    Please take a moment to see Deanna's Age progression here:
    http://www.missingkids.com/missingki...archLang=en_US
    Deanna Merryfield-missing from Killeen,Tx since July 1990
    http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=106164

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissieMt View Post
    ...and so what if it does keep happening? I would much rather my tax dollars be used to take care of these kids for a few years than it be used to take care of their "parents" when they get life in prison after killing the kids.
    These kids did not ask to be put in this situation and I worry that if these kids realize how much everyday citizens are criticizing this law they will feel not only abandoned by their parents, but also everyone else in the world
    I agree and teenagers are old enough to understand it.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissieMt View Post
    ...and so what if it does keep happening? I would much rather my tax dollars be used to take care of these kids for a few years than it be used to take care of their "parents" when they get life in prison after killing the kids.
    These kids did not ask to be put in this situation and I worry that if these kids realize how much everyday citizens are criticizing this law they will feel not only abandoned by their parents, but also everyone else in the world
    Do you live in Nebraska? Well, neither did this child's parent. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for people who do not follow through the proper venues to get the help they need. Dropping off your teenager at a hospital? You'd be better served dropping the kid off at their after-school job. I also wonder what they spoke about on that twelve-hour journey. Seems to me if she could afford the gas she has some explaining to do. I hope she dropped the kid off with some cash to defray the expense of housing him.

    Parents need to own up to their responsibility. Older children are very difficult to place into foster care and as much as we would like to think "The System" works it doesn't.

    In a perfect world this law would do good things. In the real world it needs to be modified so it isn't completely removed from the books. If Nebraska keeps getting these kind of drop-offs they will be forced to.

  10. #10
    I agree parents need to take responsability for there kids but for whatever reason they can not or will not take care of them I fell it's better for the kids to be left somewhere safe. Kids are neglected, abused and killed everyday and if a law like that saves a child I am all for it. I don't live in Nebraska but I would have no problem if my state had a law like that.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Loves Lurking View Post
    Do you live in Nebraska? Well, neither did this child's parent. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for people who do not follow through the proper venues to get the help they need. Dropping off your teenager at a hospital? You'd be better served dropping the kid off at their after-school job. I also wonder what they spoke about on that twelve-hour journey. Seems to me if she could afford the gas she has some explaining to do. I hope she dropped the kid off with some cash to defray the expense of housing him.

    Parents need to own up to their responsibility. Older children are very difficult to place into foster care and as much as we would like to think "The System" works it doesn't.

    In a perfect world this law would do good things. In the real world it needs to be modified so it isn't completely removed from the books. If Nebraska keeps getting these kind of drop-offs they will be forced to.
    Nope, I sure don't live in Nebraska and I think this law should be in effect in every state, not just NE. Nor do I have sympathy for the people who don't follow through "the proper venues" to get the help they need. I only have sympathy for the children who have to deal with parents who obviously do not want them. And how do we know all of these parents have not tried "the proper venues"? You said it yourself, "The System" doesn't work.
    Maybe I'm jaded. I had parents who did't want me around when I was a teen, and it would take more than my ten fingers and ten toes to count the times I put myself in danger to avoid going to a home where I knew I wasn't wanted. At the time I thought I was pure genius, figuring out how to stay away from there.
    You won't cry for my absence, I know -
    You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...?
    Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing?
    Isn't someone missing me?
    Evanescence
    Please take a moment to see Deanna's Age progression here:
    http://www.missingkids.com/missingki...archLang=en_US
    Deanna Merryfield-missing from Killeen,Tx since July 1990
    http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=106164

  12. #12
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    The teen could have been endangering himself and the mother wasn't able to get any help such as Boy's Town without having to pay an arm and a leg. If I thought one of my kids was getting into a gang or into serious trouble, I might do the same thing especially if I were in poverty and had to work all the time while a teen was unsupervised. I don't know why this mom did this though. If there is no good reason then the teen will be better off in a group or foster care for a few years. The he can get low rent housing and go to college tuition free at age 18 I believe.

  13. #13
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    I wonder if "parents" use the threat of "if you smarten up" guess what I am going to do.

    Give you up, yes, that is right you will go to some Foster Home or State Agency or where ever and you will never see us again, the dog, your friends, extended family, so I guess you better smarten up.

    I wonder.........

  14. #14

    Thumbs up

    I support this law 100%, though my heart goes out to the children. How many people out there feel trapped by their situation or don't know where to get help or can't get help. How many people can't provide the basics for their family, or simply don't love their children, but rather view them as an inconvenience.

    Few people want to give up their precious newborn baby, but soon realize that being a parent is more than holding an innocent child.

    I know someone that has made it clear that they will do anything for their son, but will not do the same for their daughter. There were issues when she was born and she isn't the wanted child. Family members have offered to adopt her, but they know that it is better that she not be adopted by a family and have to know that the parents chose the boy and not her. The issue now is that she is getting older and will understand if she is given up.

    I also understand the father that gave up 9 of his children. The moment he gave them up people came out of the woodwork offering to help. But how many times does someone ask for help. We help for a while and then after a while all of the help goes away and people decide that the person needs to learn to adjust to their life and take care of themselves. I've also seen long term help provided to a similar family for 30 years. I have to say that it is irritating to help them, because I know they simply won't help themselves at this point.

    So perhaps I am one of the few, but I vote to keep the law the way it is.

  15. #15
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    I think this law may be coming an easy out for some people who do not want to "bother" with their kids. I can completely understand safe haven laws for infants, and even young children, but if you have made the conscious choice to raise a child, you do not just "drop them" when things get tough. In this particular case, the amount of money that women spent on gas to drive the child 12 hours was probably enough to feed them for two weeks. There are other options. If you truly love your kids and need financial, emotional etc help, there are social services available to help you. I feel bad for these children that they are just "thrown away". If they are in an abusive situation, I completely understand and feel that there should be options avail, but if the parents just want to go party and do not want the responsibility of a child, I do not think we should give them an easy out. (Standing on my soapbox here...) That is one of the things that I think is becoming so wrong with this country. What happened to personal responsibility? To make a law so easy for people to just give up responsibility is the MOST irresponsible decision, IMO. Change the law...keep it for children 5 and under who can be left as safe haven, and have written into the law that if any child feels their life is in danger or they are being neglected or abused, that they have the choice to tell a teacher, priest, etc and the children and then placed in a safe haven situation. But to just be pissed off at your teenager and have the will to abandon them? I do not think so... In the case of the father who dropped off 9 of his kids---he did not even ask his own immediate family for help, he just decided that this was his only option. It wasn't. Let's stop making life so easy for people, people need to be responsible. If you cannot afford nine kids, don't have them. If you cannot emotionally care for a child, teenager etc., don't have them. My child is precious to me, I cannot even imagine a situation where I would abandon him.

    I have personal experience with this--I came from a family of four with a mom who was a druggie hippie. Instead of going out and getting a job and taking care of her family, she wanted to hang out with her vietnam protester druggie friends and take us to the beach all day. When she got caught doing so by CPS, she decided to move us to Utah where she heard the welfare laws were easier. When she got us there, she discovered they were not, and two of my siblings went into foster care. She decided to keep two of us, and we were dragged across the country with her, until she tired of us too. I was later adopted, as were two of my siblings. My oldest sibling was raised by her in a commune, and is almost as messed up as her. Am I glad I was adopted? Yes and no. I was raised by a good family, and we have a pretty good relationship. But I was also separated from three siblings (we have all found each other as adults.) The foster care and adoption process messed us all up good. If my mother had just been a responsible person, we would all be together. She took the easy way out, and we paid the price. Instead of enabling people more, we should be holding people more responsible for their decisions in life. My mother chose to have four children, so she should have done the right thing and raise us right. (Stepping off my soapbox)

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