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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    New York, NY
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    22

    NY-If this is the right place

    I would like to search for my husband's mother, I am not sure where to begin or how to go about it, any advice is greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chicago burbs
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    74,360
    Is she missing, or are they out of touch? It might be better to ask in the JR where others can offer more help and search.

    hth
    ~JMO~

    A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown


    Long Lost Love - Discovery ID - Disappeared - Bob Harrod Case

    You can now purchase Mr. Harrod's Disappeared episode through Amazon, iTunes or YouTube.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,522
    Are you looking for his birth mother ? or a missing woman

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    10,384
    Hiya...specifics please.

    As others asked:

    1. Is she listed as missing? Or just out of touch.

    2. Please give 'story' w/o using names, unless she is officially listed as missing or anyone involved w/disappearance has been named in main stream media .

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    22
    She is missing, has been since he was about four which would be about 25 years ago, its been a long time, so I am not really expecting much. She lived on Long Island NY. My FIL and her got divorced and he got custody of my husband, then she just disappeared. I believe a missing person was reported but nothing came of it. Supposedly she was living with some sort of woman who was into some drugs, and voodoo and I am not really sure and sadly my FIL passed away in April, so we don't really have anyone to speak to about it. Her father recently contacted us, he had been estranged from my husband, and i think her whole family believes that she has passed away, nobody can believe that she would voluntarily walk away from her child.

    I tried looking on the UID persons website, to see if maybe I saw something that could be her, but I couldnt find a way to search. I do have her name, and I did do a SS check to see if her SS# said she was deceased but it didn't. We've done some of those intelius searches as well and they say where her last known location was, but they have been dead ends.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by gina9942 View Post
    She is missing, has been since he was about four which would be about 25 years ago, its been a long time, so I am not really expecting much. She lived on Long Island NY. My FIL and her got divorced and he got custody of my husband, then she just disappeared. I believe a missing person was reported but nothing came of it. Supposedly she was living with some sort of woman who was into some drugs, and voodoo and I am not really sure and sadly my FIL passed away in April, so we don't really have anyone to speak to about it. Her father recently contacted us, he had been estranged from my husband, and i think her whole family believes that she has passed away, nobody can believe that she would voluntarily walk away from her child.

    I tried looking on the UID persons website, to see if maybe I saw something that could be her, but I couldnt find a way to search. I do have her name, and I did do a SS check to see if her SS# said she was deceased but it didn't. We've done some of those intelius searches as well and they say where her last known location was, but they have been dead ends.
    Hi Gina Gee Im sorry that is the case for your husband it must be awful not knowing what happened to her.
    Did the dad get custody because the mum just walked out ?
    Have you tried googling her name ? her married name AND maiden name ?
    I mean she could have gone on to remarry or moved to another country.
    Can you give statistics ? and a photo ? thats a good way to look on the UID Jane Doe sites etc to compare
    I don't live in the USA but I am more than happy to look for you if you want to give the details and I am sure there are those on here who know exactly how and what to look.

    But do try googling her name 's to start off with. There is also find a grave to look at
    Did she have any sisters ? brothers ? cousins ? etc

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New York, NY
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    22
    I am not sure why exactly the dad got custody, I believe that she did visit him and then just stopped, i want to say there was most likely drugs/alcohol involved, but that is just speculation. I will scan in a pic tonight when I get home from work.

    I have googled her maiden name, her married name and I get some things that say her addresses, but they are all known addresses, where we know that she has been, nothing new, and for some reason the family believes that she was just pushed into a grave by this woman who she was associating with. I would like to do everything I can to find her.

    I am not sure about her height, but she would be about 55, brown hair, brown eyes, she wasnt thin, I want to say average, she was probably about 5'6 now that i think about it my FIL was 6'2 and she looked short compared to him.

    In my gut, I do feel that she passed, I think that comes from being a mother and I don't know how someone could just walk away from their child, all the pictures that I have seen had shown them being a happy family, at least when he was little, and she seemed to be a devoted mother, for her to just not show up, I believe was not like her. When we recently spoke to her father he believes she has passed as well, but I figured it was worth a shot, even if we found remains, as sad as it is, at least its closure.

    She has sisters, and we have spoken to them. Do you know of any sites that I Can look through? I am just not sure where to begin, and since everyone on here is so amazing at this I figured they could maybe send me in the right direction.

    Thank you so much for helping

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,522
    Have you looked up the Jane Doe Network and scanned through all the pics ?

    Also where did she go missing like what was her last know addresses ? the name of the suburbs ?

    Try putting in something like unidentified body found in XYZ Suburb/state in google and see what comes up

    I am sure there will be someone come along soon who will have a much better idea of sites to look in
    As I said I am not in USA but in Australia so I don't know a lot of the places to look over there. But just thinking that is what I would start with.

    I hope it helps a little.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chicago burbs
    Posts
    74,360
    Do you have her DOB? If you go to veromi.net you can search by first name only with a full date of birth. Veromi will list everyone with that first name and various last names, city-state, and possible relatives. You can cross check these with the known locations you had to determine if it is her, and what last name she is using currently.

    From there I would check white pages, court records for counties she is associated with. you might find some additional names of people she knows/knew there. Some counties also list arrest records and arrest warrants for free.

    Veromi is free, unless you want to pay for the addresses and phone numbers.

    hth.
    ~JMO~

    A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown


    Long Lost Love - Discovery ID - Disappeared - Bob Harrod Case

    You can now purchase Mr. Harrod's Disappeared episode through Amazon, iTunes or YouTube.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chicago burbs
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    Also, I am not sure I would believe everything the family says, unless you can find facts to back it up. Sadly, with custody and divorce cases we all know families can say some pretty ugly things. Including pass stories to place the blame away from the person directly responsible.

    Do you know the womans name or have any info on her? It might help with your cross checking to see what you can compare with her last known addy or any other info you find.

    GL
    ~JMO~

    A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown


    Long Lost Love - Discovery ID - Disappeared - Bob Harrod Case

    You can now purchase Mr. Harrod's Disappeared episode through Amazon, iTunes or YouTube.


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Oh Captain, My Captain
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    28,051
    Quote Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
    Also, I am not sure I would believe everything the family says, unless you can find facts to back it up. Sadly, with custody and divorce cases we all know families can say some pretty ugly things. Including pass stories to place the blame away from the person directly responsible.

    Do you know the womans name or have any info on her? It might help with your cross checking to see what you can compare with her last known addy or any other info you find.

    GL
    I am with Cubby on this one-I would take the family lore with a grain of salt. Your FIL should have some information like Marriage Certificates, Divorce Decree, Custody agreement, photos, letters...something that indicates her previous existence in his life with his son....it should be contained within his estate stuff, right? Who has your FIL's documents/boxes of stuff? Was you husband an only child?
    email me


    Long Lost Love: The Bob Harrod Story Disappeared/ID Network
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    ― Maya Angelou

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New York, NY
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    22
    Sadly he was an only child. I have everything about her all the info, I just came across my DH birth certificate which I am assuming will have her SS#, then I am going to see what I can find with that, the sad thing is, if she was just kind of pushed into a grave, then of course she won't be in the system as deceased. I do have last known addresses, but everything kind of turns out empty. The grandfather, her father, has said the same thing about the strange people that she was hanging out with. I do take everything with a grain of salt, because obviously her family says she can do no wrong, and hubby goes by what his dad says, but he agrees, that we just dont think she would've just walked away from her child, regardless that the father had custody. I am going to pick his brain tonight and see what he says. Thank you for all the info, I really didnt know where to start finding her, and I have no idea where to search for the IUD's that I could possibly make some sort of comparison.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Off the grid, LOL.
    Posts
    1,761
    Hi Gina,

    You mentioned that you aren't sure how to search on the Doe Network.
    There are actually multiple searches you can do.
    The two you should probably start with, are Geographical, if you know where she went missing from or have any idea's where she might have ended up, and also Chronological. Chronological will go by the dates that UID's were found usually and you can look through females only if you choose.

    Good luck with your search.
    There is always HOPE!!!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    22
    Whats the website that I go to, to do those searches?

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    2,522
    Quote Originally Posted by gina9942 View Post
    Whats the website that I go to, to do those searches?
    http://www.doenetwork.org/ has search database on the left hand side.
    It has search tips that you can click on once you bring that page up
    Hope that helps

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