CA: "From the moment she was placed in my arms...."

I didn't see this discussed, so mods, if I missed this, please delete.

As LA's speech raised some issues for some of us, I found that the wording of CA here was something that goes directly to the heart of the lifelong battle between her and KC regarding Caylee. As we know, when Caylee was born, they handed Caylee to CA first, before even her own mother, KC had a chance to hold her. KC never forgot, or forgave this.

It would have been so simple to say instead at the memorial, "From the moment I first held my granddaughter..." But, I think throughout this, CA continued to treat Caylee more as her daughter. She stated that Caylee was the "best gift she ever got". Normally, that's what a mother says, about her own children, moo.

But again, for KC, this goes to the core, the fire in the belly. You can say it's semantics, but I'm not so sure. CA did say she was beautiful like KC, etc. but it seems to me that CA has a really hard time admitting she is the grandmother. Only GA continual talks about his relationship as grandfather, about his granddaughter. CA talks about Caylee, "our girl" (as does LA).

Is this just the continuation of oneupmanship, control that has been played over and over?

mollie said:

I didn't see this discussed, so mods, if I missed this, please delete.

As LA's speech raised some issues for some of us, I found that the wording of CA here was something that goes directly to the heart of the lifelong battle between her and KC regarding Caylee. As we know, when Caylee was born, they handed Caylee to CA first, before even her own mother, KC had a chance to hold her. KC never forgot, or forgave this.

It would have been so simple to say instead at the memorial, "From the moment I first held my granddaughter..." But, I think throughout this, CA continued to treat Caylee more as her daughter. She stated that Caylee was the "best gift she ever got". Normally, that's what a mother says, about her own children, moo.

But again, for KC, this goes to the core, the fire in the belly. You can say it's semantics, but I'm not so sure. CA did say she was beautiful like KC, etc. but it seems to me that CA has a really hard time admitting she is the grandmother. Only GA continual talks about his relationship as grandfather, about his granddaughter. CA talks about Caylee, "our girl" (as does LA).

Is this just the continuation of oneupmanship, control that has been played over and over?

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I think so, but that's only my opinion.

I believe it is tit for tat.

Casey- I did not want a public memorial. My parents did.

Cindy- From the moment she was placed in my arms...

moo

mollie said:

It would have been so simple to say instead at the memorial, "From the moment I first held my granddaughter..." But, I think throughout this, CA continued to treat Caylee more as her daughter. She stated that Caylee was the "best gift she ever got". Normally, that's what a mother says, about her own children, moo.

Click to expand...

Also found it odd that Cindy said she had THREE children. My mother would say, "my two children and grandson." My heart breaks for this family and the unbelievable pain they are going through -- but the wording is very strange -- and goes to exactly your point.

mollie said:

I didn't see this discussed, so mods, if I missed this, please delete.

As LA's speech raised some issues for some of us, I found that the wording of CA here was something that goes directly to the heart of the lifelong battle between her and KC regarding Caylee. As we know, when Caylee was born, they handed Caylee to CA first, before even her own mother, KC had a chance to hold her. KC never forgot, or forgave this.

It would have been so simple to say instead at the memorial, "From the moment I first held my granddaughter..." But, I think throughout this, CA continued to treat Caylee more as her daughter. She stated that Caylee was the "best gift she ever got". Normally, that's what a mother says, about her own children, moo.

But again, for KC, this goes to the core, the fire in the belly. You can say it's semantics, but I'm not so sure. CA did say she was beautiful like KC, etc. but it seems to me that CA has a really hard time admitting she is the grandmother. Only GA continual talks about his relationship as grandfather, about his granddaughter. CA talks about Caylee, "our girl" (as does LA).

Is this just the continuation of oneupmanship, control that has been played over and over?

Click to expand...

No, I don't think its one up man ship. I tell my daughter all the time that her children, my grand children, are the best gift I have ever recieved & they are. I also ask her " how are MY boys? I have said to them " are u my baby?" She knows its not because I feel I am their mother, it's just because I love her & I love them. She isnt bothered by it or I wouldnt do it. I think it was a struggle with Casey & CIndy though. I also think Cindy was more a mom to Caylee than Casery, due to Casey being immature & being lazy. She welcomed them parenting her child, when it suited HER. Other times she just Caylee to throw it into their faces that she, as the mother, could take her away in a whim & she did.

GA seemed authentic when he spoke and for a day shined with integrity that I needed to witness from him to rest my own heart that he will be able to keep this trait up till the very end. God Bless him! No judgement or comment about CA. A day of reprieve from me. My silence is golden!

this was cindy's show, it was about cindy and it was cindy who lost Caylee, not casey. and cindy made certain to tell her that from the very moment she took the pulpit. it is impossible for it to ever be JUST about Caylee, since these two women have relegated her to a bone of contention even down to how her remains would be handled. i hope to never hear from this vile woman again. you got your princess cindy funeral now, cindy. go the hell away.

I think just like Cindy Anthony said There should be more hope to wipe out the negativity and stop the speculation

Its just my opinion but I honestly believe that everything that comes out of the Anthonys mouths are picked at too much, I do not think that Cindy was doing anything in her eulogy other than declaring her love for her daughter and her granddaughter

This was after all her first granddaughter Caylee was very special to her and because Casey was a Single Mother and lived at home with her parents Cindy had even more hands on with Caylee ...

:clap:

itsyourworld said:

this was cindy's show, it was about cindy and it was cindy who lost Caylee, not casey. and cindy made certain to tell her that from the very moment she took the pulpit. it is impossible for it to ever be JUST about Caylee, since these two women have relegated her to a bone of contention even down to how her remains would be handled. i hope to never hear from this vile woman again. you got your princess cindy funeral now, cindy. go the hell away.

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:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

kageykaren said:

GA seemed authentic when he spoke and for a day shined with integrity that I needed to witness from him to rest my own heart that he will be able to keep this trait up till the very end. God Bless him! No judgement or comment about CA. A day of reprieve from me. My silence is golden!

Click to expand...

I agree with you completely! It was George who really spoke from the heart when he was reminiscing about Caylee. I watched the memorial with a group of friends and when "Jo-Jo" was talking.....all of us were crying. Not the case with Cindy. I, too, shall refrain from discussing Cindy today---but it's difficult. I noticed her "From the moment she was placed in my arms..." and found that phrasing to be interesting. But George---God Bless him. He shared some very personal memories of his re: Caylee and it must have been so hard for him. Did anyone else get the sense that Cindy was subtly irritated with him that she was "hogging" her limelight? The crowd was loving George so much for opening up and remembering Caylee, and Cindy had to interject herself into his time. I even noticed her trying to tell him to wrap it up....pointing to his notes on the podium as if she wanted him to hurry it up. I just wanted to say "Back off! Let the man speak!".

This memorial went off much better than I expected, imo, and although I expected much more attention to KC, I think the family managed to keep the focus on Caylee for the majority of time.

It does seem that both CA and LA used this as a forum to speak to KC, for a variety of purposes. CA just can't help herself when it comes to Caylee and KC. Caylee was CA's "daughter" in so many ways. However, CA wanted to speak to KC to let her know that she loved her, wanted to hold her and wipe away her tears (tears of course we have never seen).

LA, again, imo, spoke to KC throughout most of his speech to let KC know they are united behind her, but they are destroyed as well.

GA spoke as a true grieving grandfather and father, laying to rest his granddaughter finally, and hoping against hope there is help for his daughter...no matter what she might have done.

I believe this family is now ready to accept that KC is responsible, but they "love" KC in the only way they can, whatever that is for each of them. This was the message sent to KC today, "No matter how bad it is, we will stand behind you".moo

JaneInOz said:

I think just like Cindy Anthony said There should be more hope to wipe out the negativity and stop the speculation

Its just my opinion but I honestly believe that everything that comes out of the Anthonys mouths are picked at too much, I do not think that Cindy was doing anything in her eulogy other than declaring her love for her daughter and her granddaughter

This was after all her first granddaughter Caylee was very special to her and because Casey was a Single Mother and lived at home with her parents Cindy had even more hands on with Caylee ...

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OT: Jane, I have been praying for your country and for all the lives lost and displaced because of the awful fires. Please take care of yourself.:blowkiss:

Now on topic: I agree with everything you said.

The one comment that bothered me the most in Cindy's speech was the part about Caylee being the greatest gift she's ever recieved. As much as I can't stand Casey for what she did to her daughter I felt that was a REALLY low blow to Casey that she said that. It just made it seem like Casey wasn't a great gift to her or didn't mean anything to her. She should have worded it that "Caylee was one of the greatest gifts that I ever recieved."

Memphis Belle said:

Also found it odd that Cindy said she had THREE children. My mother would say, "my two children and grandson." My heart breaks for this family and the unbelievable pain they are going through -- but the wording is very strange -- and goes to exactly your point.

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KC often refers to Caylee as being part of "us"... like her fingers on the hand analogy. This family's boundaries are different from many other family's...

WillenFan21 said:

The one comment that bothered me the most in Cindy's speech was the part about Caylee being the greatest gift she's ever recieved. As much as I can't stand Casey for what she did to her daughter I felt that was a REALLY low blow to Casey that she said that. It just made it seem like Casey wasn't a great gift to her or didn't mean anything to her. She should have worded it that "Caylee was one of the greatest gifts that I ever recieved."

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JVM just mentioned this part of when CA said about when Caylee was placed in her arms, the gift reference and about how Caylee was also mentioned as a 3rd kid. She asked her panel what they thought of what she said and one said it was a pseudian (sp?) slip that it should not have been said in her eulogy. They were wondering why it was worded the way it was and JVM said this what started the rift between KC and CA from the get go.

Memphis Belle said:

Also found it odd that Cindy said she had THREE children. My mother would say, "my two children and grandson." My heart breaks for this family and the unbelievable pain they are going through -- but the wording is very strange -- and goes to exactly your point.

Click to expand...

I missed all coverage of the memorial service and am trying to catch up. I just heard this mentioned on JVM's show and wasn't very surprised she said it this way as I feel CA was always closer to Caylee than Casey was, and she was the one who didn't want Caylee given up for adoption. It almost seems though that she may have thought of Casey as a surrogate for that third child she never had. I feel for both GA & CA. MOO

I think that Cindy was relating to the fact that she is/was/will be the 'mother' to three children. She has mothered three, not that Caylee was just hers, though as a person mothering, she was mothering Caylee with the same bond as her two children.

itsyourworld said:

this was cindy's show, it was about cindy and it was cindy who lost Caylee, not casey. and cindy made certain to tell her that from the very moment she took the pulpit. it is impossible for it to ever be JUST about Caylee, since these two women have relegated her to a bone of contention even down to how her remains would be handled. i hope to never hear from this vile woman again. you got your princess cindy funeral now, cindy. go the hell away.

Click to expand...

:bow:

I've known MANY grandparents who will flat out tell you that they love their children but having a grandchild is different, even deeper. Apparently, there are some adult children who feel slighted when Mom and Dad shower more affection on the grandchild than they did on them.

I believe CA was speaking as she has always spoken, and I seriously doubt she has ever given thought as to whether it is right or wrong. I have a mother who speaks the same way about my firstborn though, unlike Cindy, my mother had no part in raising my child. I've addressed it several times with her, which causes distance and weak efforts on her part, but after a few months she's back to the same manner of speaking. It's gone on for over a quarter century and can become extremely hurtful, but I'm sure she'll never stop. It's part of her "Martyr Complex" and feeds her mindset that she is single-handedly holding the universe together. (Sorry for the rant, but I've just been through another episode with her.)

The reason I mention this is I see many similarities in my mother and CA's personalities and their (sometimes harmful) choice of words. I'm not certain of the cause but perhaps it's the desire for a second chance at raising a child of their own. (My mother neglected us and was not part of our lives/I would assume CA wished she could have done some things different with KC.) Perhaps focusing on a new baby is a way of avoiding problems in one's own life. (My mother was experiencing marital difficulties and later divorced/CA experienced marital difficulties and was separated from GA around this time.) There are probably many reasons for this behavior.

In NO WAY do I condone using those words when speaking of someone else's child; I know firsthand how hurtful that is. However, conversations that have been released have indicated CA often spoke in a way that undermined KC's parenting and parenthood. I'm trying to say this as politely as possible, especially considering the memorial was today, but I would have been surprised if CA HADN'T spoken as if Caylee was her very own child. It's part of her belief system - especially since she had to fill the part so often. It's not considerate or accurate, but it is what she believes.

So while I found CA's words hurtful, I did not find them out of the ordinary.