03-09-2009, 09:08 PM #1Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
How do you deal with not knowing?
I am a problem-solver by nature and by trade. I usually can't rest until problems presented are neatly packaged and wrapped up nicely with a bow. I am having trouble with the fact that we may never know what really happened to Caylee. It's driving me crazy, and I think it's what brings me back here day after day looking for the latest news. I'm just not used to facing the possibility that these cases are sometimes never resolved.
I know this isn't the first case like this in history, but it is the first for me. For those of you who have been through this before, how do you cope with not knowing? How do you know when to quit looking for clues, if ever?
How do you feel good about the "killer" being jailed for life, when there is no way of knowing what happened for sure? Don't get me wrong, I personally believe in KC's guilt just as much as the rest of you, but without knowing what really happened
So, back to my original point - I think I'll still feel like this is an unsolved case, even if KC is convicted and jailed. (based on the evidence we have today). Will you?
03-09-2009, 09:23 PM #2
You deal with the anxiety by resigning yourself to the fact you may never know all the details. I would love to know exactly how JonBenet Ramsey and Laci Peterson were killed, but short of the killer's confessions- one of which is probably dead in JB's case, we may never know exactly how they died. We have our best educated guesses, hunches, dreams/visions and such, and that's it! The dead don't seem to be able to communicate enough to tell us full details...
We do have a suspect on trial in this case, which is far more justice than JonBenet ever got, so more details of the puzzle may be revealed at trial.
Last edited by LinasK; 03-09-2009 at 09:25 PM. Reason: Add ideaThis is the year to locate Mark Dribin http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...ht=Mark+Dribin NamUs MP#876 and Ilene Misheloff http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sho...lene+Misheloff NamUs MP#6410 and bring them home to their families!
Parents watch your children. Free-range parenting leads to more child victims.
Cruelty to humans begins with cruelty to animals.
I believe in closure, not forgiveness. I'm also unapologetically judgemental.
03-09-2009, 09:41 PM #3
sua sponte, I understand your question. I felt much the same way during and after the Laci Peterson case.
What finally let my mind rest on the matter is that to know exactly what had happened would have haunted me always. I decided in my heart by the time the trial ended that Laci's death was swift and she did not see it coming.
To know what horrors may have been experienced by little Caylee at the time of her death might be more than any of us really want to know. Knowing her killer is brought to justice will help us all.
We will not have all the answers before trial, but I am confident the case against Casey will be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Caylee deserves no less than total justice.
03-09-2009, 09:43 PM #4
At least Caylee was found. Trenton Duckett's relatives may never know what happened to that baby. Same with Maddie. And too many others.
Unfortunately, killers don't always confess. They usually aren't caught in the act on video. But, I think there is a mountain of strong evidence in Caylee's case.
03-09-2009, 10:06 PM #5
As long as KC serves time for killing Caylee, I am content in not knowing exactly how she died. I would love to know all of the facts, but I seriously doubt we will find out in this case.
03-09-2009, 10:24 PM #6
I suspect that enough information will be revealed during the trial so that most of my questions will be satisfied. If KC pleads however, I have no doubt that only a few will know the truths. Nevertheless, I would much rather she plead and not further burden the taxpayers of Florida and the resources of Law Enforcement. (I say that based on the assumption that she will receive swift and proper punishment.) That avenue supercedes my need to know the whole story.
03-09-2009, 11:11 PM #7
im the type that needs to know, too, just like you.
and just like you, i keep coming back here, and to news sites, every day, waiting for that "big break", that undeniable evidence or missing puzzle piece or confession that will explain everything.
that poor kid has the right for the world to know what happened to her, so her death can be avenged/atoned for.
03-09-2009, 11:20 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Does it really matter to me the precise details of how she died? No, I rather not know to be honest. I am pretty sure why and when this all went down as, imho, this scenario plays out over and over across America with the same MO all the time, just different players. I do want to see justice for Caylee though, she deserves it.
03-10-2009, 11:26 AM #9
03-10-2009, 11:31 AM #10Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I'm better off not knowing. When I first started reading about Caylee I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her and feeling a deep sorrow.....it was as if I knew her and felt I'd personally let her down by not protecting her. The reason there are scads of people here every day is because we are all hard-wired to know that protecting children is mandatory.
I deal with not knowing by being glad I don't know. I know she got duct taped..she died and put into a garbage bag. That is "enough" information for me.
03-10-2009, 11:41 AM #11
I've been asking myself the same question. Like you, this is the first case I've been completely embroiled in. I also struggle with how I could handle knowing all the details should they ever be revealed.
Most of all, I want justice for Caylee. She deserved so much in life and it saddens me she was taken away from the world far too early. Whether or not details of the "how" and "why" come out, most of all I hope for the ultimate in justice for her loss.
03-10-2009, 11:41 AM #12
I think the answer to your question is going to different for each poster who has become involved in this case. I doubt there will ever be a 'final answer' here, I don't think we are going to know exactly what happened to Caylee. As a previous poster said, we don't know what happened to little JonB or Laci P. And in Tenton and Maddy's case, we have even less info.
At some point, you (not you specficially, of course, but people in general) have to decide when you have had enough and it is time to walk away. You have to accept that answers are not forthcoming. It doesn't mean that you will ever forget these cases and these people who were gone before their time, it just means that you have come to terms with the fact that there are unanswered questions out there. No one can make that decision for you. Even LE has to do that with a lot of their cases, it doesn't mean they ever forget them.
this, of course, does not pertain to families and friends of victims, this is just about the people, like me, who are interested in a case.Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
03-10-2009, 11:44 AM #13
For me, age has mellowed me lots regarding the need to know everything. Perhaps because I know time and time again there are situations where the answers never become known and I have had to spare myself the frushtration. (heh, couldn't help that one). I do know we know more details at the trial. I really want to see the State's hand.
03-10-2009, 11:49 AM #14
i know i find myself crying at least 3 to 4 times a week. i will wake in the middle of the night and wonder if we will ever know the extent of what little caylee went through. i just pray to god that see didnt know what was happening. it would break my heart if she knew what her mother, her supposed protector was doing to her. i just hope justice is served for little caylee!
03-10-2009, 11:52 AM #15
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