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  1. #16
    I get furious with our society when things like this happen. You get JonBenet, turned into a sex object by her kooky mother, and now there's this recent spate of murders of young girls. Role models in the media? Piffle! We have the First Lady, and Oprah. (not that there's anything wrong with them) The other women we see are a bunch of "starvelets" created by a society who want to make girls and women disappear!

    Yes, other cultures can be worse in their abuses of women. But I think daughters are becoming more and more devalued in our country at large.

  2. #17

    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by SeriouslySearching View Post
    Pervs are not new. My rant is people have been so sheltered to believe these evil people didn't exist until recently!! I keep hearing about how our children can't be children now etc. It really wasn't a safer world before...we were just living in a world where it was not reported frequently, people preferred to not address the issues, and LE didn't believe the children over the adults involved. There was no media to report on the many cases which did make to LE and the very few that did hit the news were the most horrific.

    Decades ago, a friend of mine was approached on her way to school (a block away) by a perv who was in a vehicle, naked from the waist down, and tried to grab her off the street. His attempt thankfully failed, but she was quite shaken up by the incident. It was something I never forgot (I saw the sheer terror on her face when she got to school that morning) and I began to pay attention to those type of reports by others. There were many and none were caught. Adults preferred to ignore it and LE didn't take the reports seriously if they were made by children.

    What has changed isn't much, but we are headed in the right direction today. It has taken millions of children suffering at the hands of cruel and evil people, but at least we know to protect our children from them in any way we can because they do exist. Children can still be children, but as adults...we need to be diligent in our efforts to prevent them from becoming tomorrow's victims and perps.
    SS, I think you are so right. For me, as a mom, Adam Walsh changed everything. Adam died in 1981. My son was born in 1983, and parents became much more cautious. As a child in the early 60,s, I was allowed to wander in a store while my mom shopped, as long as I didn't go out the door. When my own child accompanied me, he had to stay on the same aisle, in my line of sight.

    But sadly, as with Sandra, monsters aren't always strangers. When I was little (4-6), I told my mom I didn't like my pediatrician. He always did an exam that included laying down on the table, and feeling the abdomen with my clothes and underwear pulled down a bit. But what creeped me out was where his eyes were focused.
    My mom was a nurse, and really didn't think he was doing anything but a check of the bowels, BUT she respected ME, and took me to another doctor.

    As it turned out, in the late 70's, when I was in college, a male friend told me (in detail) that this same man molested him for years.

    Then the rumors started. Finally, it turned out after my hometown newspaper ran an article about this man, over 30 victims were able to support each other.

    Sadly, because of the "good old boy" system, he was still practicing as a pediatrician in my hometown (by the way SS, I live in the same state you do).

    I'm just so thankful my mom listened to me. All I can tell you is that I didn't like the intensity with which he looked at me while doing his "exam" (he always had his back to my mom). He had a history of befriending single mothers. It was also rumored when my son was small that he was into child porn by then.

    Moms, Dads, listen to your kids. It could be their doctor (yes, the one you then write a check to), Sunday School teacher, scout leader, teacher, neighbor, babysitter, great uncle....

    Just listen to your kids, ok?

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    476
    moonlighting, you are reminding me of my childhood dentist. I told my mother I didn't want to see him anymore after I went into puberty. Every time he picked up the bib to wipe my mouth he would put it back down and "accidentally" touch my right breast. I found out later he had a daughter my age who went to the other high school in town. Perv.

    When my brother went to the dentist when I was 4 and he was 6, the dentist used to have a room where he would take kids who cried. It was the size of a closet and it was dark. He would place his hand over their mouths until they stopped crying. I remember talking to my mother about it. We moved away shortly after that to another part of the state so I never had to go to him after that, and he never did that to me, but only because I don't mind the dentist and didn't cry in his chair.

    Both of those things happened decades ago. These creeps are out there everywhere and always have been.

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    2,956
    These crimes depress me. There seems to be too many anymore, one right after the other. Each time a little innocent is lost and nothing we can do about it.

    The club of bereft parents left to support the next ones involuntarily inducted into the club is too sad to witness at times.

  5. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    440
    Quote Originally Posted by Lyn1001 View Post
    It kind of makes me want to lock my daughter and myself in the house and never leave. =(

    No kidding but it's okay to be that way. When our kids were growing up I got called overprotective alot but who cares? I am from the inner city of Chicago and knew a lot about crime at an early age. I always knew where my kids were, didnt let them go off with just anybody, and if something or someone didnt feel right, I followed my instincts.Sadly you have to be that way to keep them safe in this world.

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    29,161
    These crimes can be depressing and emotionally draining. I know Sandra's case has really hit me - its close, I have an 8-year old grand daughter and I am shocked by the perp, to say the least.

    We do need to remember that here at WS, we focus on these crimes. Meaning we see these crimes in a lot more depth then most others do because we follow them, we sleuth them, we try to help where we can and discuss and speculate and come up with theories, so we become much more immersed than normal. Because of that, we need to remind ourselves to step back if necessary and take a breather. Go outside, play with the kids, visit a neighbor for coffee, anything that gives you a little break.


    (((((hugs to all))))) (I can't find that group hug smilie),

    Salem

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    476
    I agree wholeheartedly Salem. It was good to get away for 4-5 days and take a breather, doing different things. It was a reminder to me to stay balanced.

  8. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Salem View Post
    These crimes can be depressing and emotionally draining. I know Sandra's case has really hit me - its close, I have an 8-year old grand daughter and I am shocked by the perp, to say the least.

    We do need to remember that here at WS, we focus on these crimes. Meaning we see these crimes in a lot more depth then most others do because we follow them, we sleuth them, we try to help where we can and discuss and speculate and come up with theories, so we become much more immersed than normal. Because of that, we need to remind ourselves to step back if necessary and take a breather. Go outside, play with the kids, visit a neighbor for coffee, anything that gives you a little break.


    (((((hugs to all))))) (I can't find that group hug smilie),

    Salem
    Salem,
    I first came here to WS after doing a web search to find more info on Caylee than I could get watching NG (LOL). So, in other words, not so long ago. I've read posts from old timers talking about how the site has just exploded with newbies like me since the Caylee case.

    Maybe some of you all who have been here longer can share some advice with us on how YOU deal with the emotions these kinds of cases bring.

    Also, I'm curious, do you think we are more effected by these perps than usual because they are female? First KC, then LE in Samsuta saying MC is the key, now MH? Do you think this may be an added strain on everyone's emotions?

    Really wondering what the seasoned sleuths think.

  9. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2,523
    Here it be, Salem.

  10. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Vancouver WA
    Posts
    4,481
    Our world has changed. With the internet, crimes against children have become increasingly prolific w now widespread, systematic abuse and organized exploitation of our children in what's become a vile epidemic of child pornography. The internet breeds and reproduces pedophilia because it FEEDS this ugly, loathesome monster... and without question is making this world a sicker, more treacherous, deadly place for children. When I was growing up in the 60's, the neighborhood children ALL roamed through every inch of our wooded subdivision for hours and days on end--w/out parents in fear of whether their children would return home. It isn't that there were NO child predators or SO's then I'm quite aware they existed then too but they weren't ANYWHERE near as prevalent, because there wasn't the free, open access that they now have to consume and exchange kiddie porn. And we are NOT headed in the right direction!!

    More and more families are broken, w children having to fend for themselves w either no parent--or no stable responsible parent--in the home. And the lines between adults and children have become increasingly blurred. Our entire culture has been sexualizing children at alarmingly younger and younger ages... There's no way in #e[[ I'd let my six year-old daughter out of my sight for a flippin minute and don't plan to for YEARS either. I am not going to pretend we're just noticing, or reporting, it more now... we are reaping the seeds that have been sown, and it is continuing to grow WORSE, MUCH MUCH WORSE. Well you did say we could rant here... JMO




  11. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    14,189
    Some things may have changed over the years. Once, kids weren't allowed to play indoors watching all sorts of movies, computer access, and video games. They all played outside and didn't get involved that much at all with other kids' parents. Now, kids stay indoors, get fat and out of shape with parents butting in and acting like they have to also be their friends. Kids don't need unsupervised time with parents, teachers, coaches, church people, etc. Some of the nastiest, hateful women I've ever seen work as hourly wage workers up at the school. They need to be watched for physical abuse as well. Everyone is a stranger except a few trusted family members as far as I'm concerned. This has woke me up. There'll never be any nice women who are family of family or anything else ever hauling my grandkids to church.

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Livermore, CA
    Posts
    63
    I've been browsing this site for about 3 years or so, and have seen some of the most horrific crimes brought out to detail. I guess after a while you kinda get used to knowing what will happen next. I'm not quite sure why this case has me thinking so much. Maybe because she lived less than 20 minutes time from me, where her picture was flashed everyday for days when she went missing. It seemed when she was missing that the police were exhausting every viable option they could to find her, and i thought that for once, just maybe, she would have a happy ending. Not another little girl taken. And then we learned that she was dead, and worse, the manner of how she was found, and how i had been planning to volunteer to search for her soon. Maybe it's the surveillence tapes and pictures that show a normal, happy, 8-year-old girl living like any other girl her age would, rejoicing over Hannah Montana presents. Maybe because I remember being 8 years old and never even having the thought of something so horrific cross my mind. The media have brought out her personality and family so vividly at times. I saw a commercial on T.V tonight for the Hannah Montana movie during the evening news and for a split second i thought of little Sandra Cantu and how excited she probably was for this movie to come out, and now never will.

    I just hate how it was someone so trustworthy. Don't talk to stranger's, we say to our kids, but its never "be on the look out for your best friend's mother!". It SHOULDN'T be. It's not shocking to me that the murderer is a sunday school teacher, its shocking to me that it's someone whom Sandra probably knew for a full year or so, and Huckaby took full advantage of that. How can anyone look at that video of her and then act on her the way they did? It's downright insane, and pisses me off that she wasn't safe at her BEST FRIEND'S house, a whole 75 yards from her house!

    I just can't imagine what Ms. Chavez and the family could possibly be going through right now. I can't imagine the "what-if-i-had"s going through her head, and the loss she'll have to experience for the rest of her life. She's had someone taken from her unjustly and unfairly.

    I guess that's just a rant i needed to get out. Thanks for this post salem, it was much needed. My my, that was long.
    For Kayla Reed and Sandra Cantu.

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    12,328

    It's all so very scary --

    I've been a follower of missing children since Danielle Van Dam -- that one hit close to home, as I worked with Damon. Then on to Scott Peterson, and on and on.

    I have a now 11 year old, and my mom always told me I keep him wrapped in cotton wool. The truth - yes, I do. I drive him to school everyday, and hubby picks him up. Today I panicked when husband called to say that our son wasn't by the tree where he is picked up everyday. He said "I'll call you right back". 5 minutes later, he still hadn't called - I called, and thankfully, my son was just running a few minutes late. I was suprised by my reaction when I said "Honey - you know how I feel about missing children, why didn't you call me back". That's how paranoid I've become.

    THIS case now has me thinking of sleepovers, friend visits to other homes. You think you can trust the parents -- but can we really? I've let my son visit friends many times, but all I do is sit home and worry. Most of the time I suggest they come over here -- I am so protective of my and my friend's children.

    Yes, these cases get to me each and every time. And yes, there are days that I don't even want to step outside! Just the other day (OT) a woman was shopping at Kroeger's and a guy ran by and grabbed her purse right out of her cart and ran out the door.

    Are any of us safe???

    Bless,

    Melanie

  14. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Upstate, New York
    Posts
    1,522
    Question: Are pedophiles usually violent toward adults or people in general, OTHER than the children they abuse?

  15. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,036
    [QUOTE=mgardner;3614736]I've been a follower of missing children since Danielle Van Dam -- that one hit close to home, as I worked with Damon. Then on to Scott Peterson, and on and on.

    I have a now 11 year old, and my mom always told me I keep him wrapped in cotton wool. The truth - yes, I do. I drive him to school everyday, and hubby picks him up. Today I panicked when husband called to say that our son wasn't by the tree where he is picked up everyday. He said "I'll call you right back". 5 minutes later, he still hadn't called - I called, and thankfully, my son was just running a few minutes late. I was suprised by my reaction when I said "Honey - you know how I feel about missing children, why didn't you call me back". That's how paranoid I've become.

    Hi. I don't think you're being paranoid at all. The pick-up after school situation never fails to provoke over-protectiveness in me, whether I'm in the role of a teacher or a mom.

    I never have and probably never will allow my child to walk home from school.

    Are you posting in the Tori case, where she just disappears with a woman after school?

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