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  1. #1
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    Melissa Huckaby and the Unthinkable Sex Object

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debora..._b_188921.html

    Melissa Huckaby and the Unthinkable Sex Object

    Deborah KingPosted April 20, 2009 | 12:19 PM (EST)

    As horrifying as the murder of an 8-year-old is, the truly unimaginable aspect of the Melissa Huckaby case, for most people, is her use of a foreign object to rape Sandra Cantu. How could a woman, a mom (!), do this to a little girl? How . . . why . . . with what kind of an object? It's unfathomable, hard to think about, dark, evil. The only "safe" conclusion is that the woman must be insane. In fact, along with other experts, I doubt if Huckaby is insane. And as I know both from personal experience and from working with many abused women, rape with a foreign object is not as unusual as one would like to think.
    More...
    Last edited by JBean; 04-24-2009 at 10:10 PM. Reason: edited for copyright reasons

  2. #2
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    What courage for her to have written this article. Thanks for posting it Cherokee- a great read and very informative. Hopefully she's right about the possible insanity plea not flying...
    This too shall pass

  3. #3
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    Thank you for posting this, I just read it and was coming over here to post it myself. This is so well written and I hope everyone keeping up on this case reads the article.

  4. #4
    Cherokee, you're such an inspiration. Thank you so much or posting and sharing. It's so comforting to find people like you, especially when we have to find out about the MH's of the world.

  5. #5
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    Huckaby's attorney, Deputy Public Defender Samuel Behar, professed to have no knowledge of the case when contacted by ABCNews.com, but a court document filed by Behar Thursday indicated the request was based on the deputy district attorney's belief that Sandra had suffered "genital trauma consistent with forcible penetration."
    http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7382002&page=1

    found this in an abc article... a little more insight into the "unthinkable sex object"

  6. #6
    Cherokee~ We aren't allowed to posts articles in their entirety. We normally only post the important part (paragraph or two) and the link so people can go to the site to read it.

    Thanks for posting the article. It is an interesting take on things even if I happen to disagree with some of it.
    "WE SEEK FOR THE TRUTH. WE SEEK JUSTICE.
    THE COURTS REQUIRE IT. THE VICTIMS CRY FOR IT
    AND GOD DEMANDS IT!"

    A quote spray painted on the wall by search
    and rescue workers, Team 5, at the OKC Bombing site 4-19-1995.



    What I post are my opinions only.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by nursebeeme View Post
    http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7382002&page=1

    found this in an abc article... a little more insight into the "unthinkable sex object"
    Indeed nurse, it does offer more insight into the "unthinkable sex object". Thank you very much.

    About the OP:

    I have to admit that when I read the article posted in the OP, the phrase that struck me most were "Sexual molestation is not so much about sex as it's about power. Rape, with or without a foreign object, is an act that disempowers the victim..."

    The rest of the article in the OP while written with passion and from the reference point of being once a victim, is what I believe to be the writer's personal opinions.

    There are a great many posters here, that have not only been victims of crimes and victims of violent crimes but many have also experienced sexual molestation and I, personally, think it's insulting to suggest that they experienced where "somehow sexual titillation got linked" to the object or to the act of molestation. I call BS, from a very personal perspective.

    That leads me to Nursie's article that she posted:

    I have great difficulty reconciling the last known video of Sandra, spinning her arms, skipping in the sunshine -- with the descriptive words and phrases of what "genital trauma consistent with forcible penetration." really means to a 45 pound 8 yr old little girl. Along with the phrase above we read the words, "vaginal tearing or lacerations".

    No I'm sorry but my personal opinion is that after I think those thoughts through, no way---no how---do I have any room for sympathy in my heart for MH. Just my humble opinion.
    "Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind." ~ Henry James

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat View Post
    respectfully snipped:

    The rest of the article in the OP while written with passion and from the reference point of being once a victim, is what I believe to be the writer's personal opinions.

    There are a great many posters here, that have not only been victims of crimes and victims of violent crimes but many have also experienced sexual molestation and I, personally, think it's insulting to suggest that they experienced where "somehow sexual titillation got linked" to the object or to the act of molestation. I call BS, from a very personal perspective.
    Yes, this was from a blogger on HuffPost, I read it there this morning.

    However, it is true that in *many* cases, "sexual titillation", as stated, can be linked to abuse in the past. For example, many people into S&M were abused as kids.

    I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child, but I'm not insulted by what she says. It has not been my experience, but I would bet $ that it is the experience of many. I have studied/ read a lot on this subject as well.

    Many here are angry about abuse being brought up in MH's history, whereas I think it's important to note, just so that OTHER people can be helped from the knowledge. Obviously, she's a lost cause.

    Someone here said in a post last week, I apologize if this is not word for word:

    Most people who were abused do not become abusers.
    Most abusers were abused.
    Last edited by goofeegyrl; 04-21-2009 at 02:24 AM. Reason: Bolded

  9. #9
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    I appreciate your candor and opinion goofeegirl, as a victim myself also, I am insulted. But that is my own opinion.
    "Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind." ~ Henry James

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat View Post
    I appreciate your candor and opinion goofeegirl, as a victim myself also, I am insulted. But that is my own opinion.
    Thank you. One of the reasons that I responded to your post is that I knew from reading WS that I would be able to give my opinion and just let it be, and you would accept it as such and not attack me, as I was not attacking you.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by goofeegyrl View Post
    Yes, this was from a blogger on HuffPost, I read it there this morning.

    However, it is true that in *many* cases, "sexual titillation", as stated, can be linked to abuse in the past. For example, many people into S&M were abused as kids.

    I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child, but I'm not insulted by what she says. It has not been my experience, but I would bet $ that it is the experience of many. I have studied/ read a lot on this subject as well.

    Many here are angry about abuse being brought up in MH's history, whereas I think it's important to note, just so that OTHER people can be helped from the knowledge. Obviously, she's a lost cause.

    Someone here said in a post last week, I apologize if this is not word for word:

    Most people who were abused do not become abusers.
    Most abusers were abused.
    I certainly respect your opinion, goofee, that you think when women do sexual acts against children it is because they were abused.

    However I don't believe that is true. I think women don't have to have abuse in their lives to become an sexual deviant that preys on small children.

    This is an except of one of the links in the "female pedophilia" thread.

    Sex Offenders or Pedophiles.
    "Approximately 15% to 25% of women and 5% to 15% of men were sexually abused when they were children.[11][12][13][14][15] Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; women commit approximately 14% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls.[11] Most offenders who abuse pre-pubescent children are pedophiles,[16][17] however a small percentage do not meet the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia.[18]

    "Under the law, "child sexual abuse" is an umbrella term describing criminal and civil offenses in which an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor or exploits a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification.[19][4] The American Psychiatric Association."


    I think most child sexual predators have a lustful urge and an insatiable desire to rape and molest children. I think more often it is about control over someone vulnerable, and the power they hold over them, rather than lashing out because they may have been abused in the past.

    So I just don't think that most who abuse were abused. Somehow their wiring is wrong and they gain much pleasure from having sex or doing sexual acts with young children. It is the acts with these children that spurs their lust and that is why they are the dregs of our society.

    As a survivor of childhood abuse I do not believe that all people who sexually abuse young babies and children were abused themselves. Simply imo they are sexual deviants. Now I do believe that there is a minority who claim they were abused that do go on and abuse but like everyone else, they too had choices in life, but chose to stay on the side of darkness instead of following the light out of the darkness into the sunlight.

    imoo
    "Pardon Our Noise, It's the Sound of Freedom" USMC New River Air Station, Jacksonville, North Carolina

  12. #12
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    there are lots of people who never were abused that become abusers too .. and i have been raped before when i was a child turning teen and i was raped by someone who had never been beaten abused or raped by another man .. i certainly didnt and dont want to reclaim any power by hurting another child .. just the mere thought of a child going through what i did makes me want to vomit .. i think its how sick in the head the individual is and what they decide they are gonna do about it .. get help or make another thier victim ..either she is covering for a man that did it and he is threatening the life of her child if she tells or she did it and needs the DP

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by zadari View Post
    there are lots of people who never were abused that become abusers too .. and i have been raped before when i was a child turning teen and i was raped by someone who had never been beaten abused or raped by another man .. i certainly didn't and don't want to reclaim any power by hurting another child .. just the mere thought of a child going through what i did makes me want to vomit .. i think its how sick in the head the individual is and what they decide they are gonna do about it .. get help or make another their victim ..either she is covering for a man that did it and he is threatening the life of her child if she tells or she did it and needs the DP
    I totally agree. All I have ever wanted ....was to love, honor and respect our five beautiful children. I would cut my own throat before I ever hurt any of them or any child. I may have been too overprotective at times but I darn sure have shown them the love and respect they all deserve every minute of their lives.

    I have read many articles where it said most serial killers weren't abused as children.

    I don't think there is a logical reason to explain the pedophile and why they are the way they are. All I know is they are the most vile, depraved, sadistic, disgusting monsters put on the earth destroying innocent vulnerable children's lives and leaving them shattered to pick up the pieces.

    imo
    "Pardon Our Noise, It's the Sound of Freedom" USMC New River Air Station, Jacksonville, North Carolina

  14. #14
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    ~my bold~
    Quote Originally Posted by Cherokee View Post
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debora..._b_188921.html

    Melissa Huckaby and the Unthinkable Sex Object

    Deborah KingPosted April 20, 2009 | 12:19 PM (EST)

    As horrifying as the murder of an 8-year-old is, the truly unimaginable aspect of the Melissa Huckaby case, for most people, is her use of a foreign object to rape Sandra Cantu. How could a woman, a mom (!), do this to a little girl? How . . . why . . . with what kind of an object? It's unfathomable, hard to think about, dark, evil. The only "safe" conclusion is that the woman must be insane. In fact, along with other experts, I doubt if Huckaby is insane. And as I know both from personal experience and from working with many abused women, rape with a foreign object is not as unusual as one would like to think.

    Let me explain. Sexual molestation is not so much about sex as it's about power. Rape, with or without a foreign object, is an act that disempowers the victim so the rapist can somehow reclaim the power/integrity that was stolen from them at some previous time. The rapist may not remember the physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse he or she suffered as a child. It may be buried deep in the psyche. The person never deals with the trauma, never clears the deep shame and humiliation and fear that were the legacy of the abuse, and so may be at risk to repeat the behavior they learned.

    I am in no way suggesting that Melissa Huckaby shouldn't be prosecuted to the full extent of the law for what she did nor am I justifying anyone's behavior on the basis they were once abused. I'm simply trying to help people understand the dynamics of rape with a foreign object and shed light on a very hidden topic. It's a very under-reported crime because the victim is so helpless and humiliated. More...
    So is this person saying every rapist was at one time abused? The statistics don't support that. Only about 25% of men and 15% of women were abused. That's from the recent articles in the "women who abuse" thread. (See post 11 above - thank you OBE) I don't believe what Huffington is saying - and I don't think MH was abused - except in her own mind.

    Salem

    PS - Cherokee - I do appreciate your posting the article. Thank you.
    Last edited by Salem; 04-20-2009 at 09:50 PM. Reason: fix numbers

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salem View Post
    ~my bold~

    So is this person saying every rapist was at one time abused? The statistics don't support that. Only about 25% of men and 15% of women were abused. That's from the recent articles in the "women who abuse" thread. (See post 11 above - thank you OBE) I don't believe what Huffington is saying - and I don't think MH was abused - except in her own mind.

    Salem

    PS - Cherokee - I do appreciate your posting the article. Thank you.
    I tend to look at articles with a critical eye if it is on a feminist site, which I feel Huffy is one. They seem to always want to paint the female as having some excuse why they do depraved evil acts. While the article was interesting and I am glad Cherokee linked it, I do not believe that most men or women pedophiles were abused and the stats just dont show that either.

    I am like you....I don't think MH was abused.

    imo
    "Pardon Our Noise, It's the Sound of Freedom" USMC New River Air Station, Jacksonville, North Carolina

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