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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lindadanette View Post
    I guess we're all pondering what we learned yesterday. This keeps niggling at me:

    "Coleman told authorities he had a good marriage, with a difficult period a year ago that was resolved with marriage counseling, Edwards testified."

    OK, that fits perfectly with the Narcissist personality. Now I'm wondering WHY and WHERE they were counseled and WHO did the counseling - RC, JMM, the Pastors at Destiny or even a stranger? Each of those would reflect a unique dynamic that could have played heavily into the subsequent developments.

    None times out of ten, couples seek marriage counseling when one of them (usually the male) has strayed. From all that i have seen, it appears that Sheri was getting her groove on. This is a typical (and healthy) reaction to infidelity. She was active, attractive and loyal to her family and church. She started modeling.

    Is it possible that CC, even though he was the one who wanted out, resented that Sheri was thriving in spite of his betrayal? Is that what may have prompted the attempt to defraud SC out of any property or assets? Did CC tell TL a "version" of events that hooked her into the SC haters club?

    I hope they subpoena JM and put her on the stand. I hope they ask her to explain, under oath, the nature of her relationship with CC and what she knows about this tragedy. I hope they do the same to RC and to TL and to the counselor who proabably advised Sheri to "forgive and forget". I hope it ALL comes out.

    My ex-NPD-husband cheated with many women. He had a child with one, and when she wanted support that was when he finally confessed. Of course, he said it was a one night stand. He sat in a church with our pastor for marital counselling and swore that it was a one night stand. Years later the mother of the child confirmed to me that they had a long-term affair that continued even after our counselling. That poor woman went into the affair thinking he was single. Once he admitted he was married, with children, his story became, he was going to get a divorce. Then he finally admitted it was just a fling and she still went with it (those guys are masters at preying on women with low self-esteem).

    Chances are CC's mistress believed his stories of woe and that his wife was frigid, controlling, etc. and she is not complicit, just a dupe. NPD's over-romanticize and are always looking for the perfect love. If SC was growing into an independent person and no longer feeding his need for narcissistic supply he would move on to fill his needs and SC and the kids would become liabilities. He would not want to have to pay any support or sell the house and split the proceeds etc., because by God he worked for it and it was his.

    My mother thinks if I had stayed in that marriage and fought for fair division of property I would be dead. She likens my ex to Brad Cunningham (of Ann Rule's 'Dead by Sunset' fame). So I have a pretty fair idea of what SC was dealing with and how CC was thinking.



  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by who knew? View Post
    I guess he overestimated how his sons turned out...............

    And IMO, anyone who would make a statement like that is probably "retarded" themselves. Wonder if any of his parishioners have a learning disabled child? I do - (he does very well by the way) - and I can tell you I'm much prouder of the man my LD child has become than RC should be of his sons.
    Amen, girlfriend! Well, I made it through the first one, based on your request, and the one thing that jumped out at me LOUD AND CLEAR is that God will not be mocked. RC spent 28 minutes basically trying to convince his congregation that IF CC is guilty (and they would be guilty of sin if they dared think so) that God has already forgiven him. Well the truth is, as I understand it, that God knows the condition of our hearts.

    The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished: - 2 Peter 2:9

    Don't get me wrong, I totally agree with RC in scripture - It is in God's nature to be forgiving. And the Word also says that God can forgive us spontaneously, even before we repent. (Jesus saying, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do"). The truth is that we are unable to receive that forgiveness and be reconciled with God until we have a change of heart (are truly repentent). According to the Bible, our failure to repent is a great barrier to all reconciliation.

    If CC has had a change of heart and is repentant for what he did, understanding the full horror and undone with the grief of his actions, God can use him to restore something beautiful, even him.

    But I sure don't get that this is what has happened. if so, CC would be undone - confessing his crimes, taking responsibility for his actions and accepting what the law decrees for his crimes. RC would be on his face in front of his congregation, weeping and wailing and asking for God's intervention and grace. He wouldn't be laying a guilt trip about sideline referees. JMO - for what it's worth.
    Last edited by Lindadanette; 06-11-2009 at 04:25 PM.



  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lindadanette View Post
    If he had "clinical" mental issues, I would think they would have manifested long before the age of 33. (Of course he's mental - he more than likely killed his wife and kids) I would imagine that as a "registered, licensed" guard, he was given some kind of psych test at some point - military or otherwise.

    I find it interesting that you brought this up - is that the defense you think his legal team is going to use?
    I tend to think that anyone who kills his children, is 'out of his mind' But I am not saying he is legally insane though.

    I think his defence is going for 'some other dude did it' defence.
    What kind of man would do such a horrible thing to his own family, huh?

    Poor wife and kids, Sheri should have run away form him a long time ago.


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  5. #34
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    Lindadanette -
    I'm glad to hear your perspective on this. I thought maybe I was being judgemental. I felt like RC was trying to spin the story - make himself and family the victims of the swift and unfair opinions of others - and maybe even trying to "guilt" the parishioners who did not attend services. I wondered if some are making the excuses that they had to cook, mow the yard, etc., to avoid telling him they weren't attending services because they felt CC was guilty and RC was facilitating him. He sure did hit hard on that section of his sermon.
    I agree with all you said - I would think RC would be encouraging CC to confess and ask for LWO so he could "minister to" the other inmates to make himself "right" with God - to walk the walk of someone who truly has repented. By RC ignoring the evidence that CC is guilty and by continuing to facilitate the upcoming trial, he is not ministering to his own son and may even contribute to the possibility of CC receiving the DP. JMO


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  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrintGal View Post
    My ex-NPD-husband cheated with many women. He had a child with one, and when she wanted support that was when he finally confessed. Of course, he said it was a one night stand. He sat in a church with our pastor for marital counselling and swore that it was a one night stand. Years later the mother of the child confirmed to me that they had a long-term affair that continued even after our counselling. That poor woman went into the affair thinking he was single. Once he admitted he was married, with children, his story became, he was going to get a divorce. Then he finally admitted it was just a fling and she still went with it (those guys are masters at preying on women with low self-esteem).

    Chances are CC's mistress believed his stories of woe and that his wife was frigid, controlling, etc. and she is not complicit, just a dupe. NPD's over-romanticize and are always looking for the perfect love. If SC was growing into an independent person and no longer feeding his need for narcissistic supply he would move on to fill his needs and SC and the kids would become liabilities. He would not want to have to pay any support or sell the house and split the proceeds etc., because by God he worked for it and it was his.

    My mother thinks if I had stayed in that marriage and fought for fair division of property I would be dead. She likens my ex to Brad Cunningham (of Ann Rule's 'Dead by Sunset' fame). So I have a pretty fair idea of what SC was dealing with and how CC was thinking.
    My dear one - I thank God that you are here to tell the tale!!!!!
    Yes, I agree with all that you've said - but for the part about TL being seduced by his lies. I would believe this in a heartbeat if not for the fact that she and Sheri were buds from way back. That she helped to conceal the affair from Sheri - that she even got involved with her friends husband before seeing dried ink on a divorce decree, that she traveled to spiritual conferences and undoubtedly listened to messages about integrity and loyalty and STILL bought CC a cell phone so they could have phone sex without her friend finding out. . .

    IDK - I remember that emoticon and the word "excited" and, if she wasn't rejoicing over the deaths, she was glad that he was about to walk out on his wife and children. I'm not sure that they're not both NPD - as a matter of opinion, I believe that will be revealed in the testimony - LE appears to have their dirty talk on record.


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  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lindadanette View Post
    I'm not sure that they're not both NPD - as a matter of opinion, I believe that will be revealed in the testimony - LE appears to have their dirty talk on record.
    BBM
    snipped by me

    I really don't know that I'm up to reading that particular transcript...


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  11. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by who knew? View Post
    BBM
    snipped by me

    I really don't know that I'm up to reading that particular transcript...
    Yeah - me too! I don't even think I will - it's too much like pron. But the DA will undoubtedly make a case for premeditation out of what was discussed between them - I am interested in finding out how "involved" TL was - I just have had a bad feeling about her from the git-go.


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  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrintGal View Post
    Chances are CC's mistress believed his stories of woe and that his wife was frigid, controlling, etc. and she is not complicit, just a dupe. NPD's over-romanticize and are always looking for the perfect love. If SC was growing into an independent person and no longer feeding his need for narcissistic supply he would move on to fill his needs and SC and the kids would become liabilities. He would not want to have to pay any support or sell the house and split the proceeds etc., because by God he worked for it and it was his.

    I'm probably going to throw myself to the wolves with this but here goes. While I was in college (almost 20 years ago), I became involved with a married police officer. He told me that his marriage was essentially over, that they slept in separate rooms, the only reason he was in the marriage was for the 3 children, etc. etc. He called me at will, he went on vacations with me, he was good at the "game". I believed him hook, line and sinker.

    About a year into the relationship, he let it slip that his wife had caught him cheating with another woman several years prior to our relationship. I was utterly sick to my stomach because I believed that I was his first infidelity. Needless to say, I ended the relationship shortly thereafter. I knew deep down in my heart that he was never going to change regardless of who he was with.

    I am very ashamed that the relationship ever happened. His wife did catch him cheating, but the ironic thing was, she thought it was with me almost a year after we parted ways. I actually wrote a letter to his wife apologizing (not that I think it helped ease her pain any).

    Now, with that being said, I did not know this woman nor her family. I was not a friend from high school nor did I have any contact with her until I wrote the letter apologizing. But I do understand how TL could have gotten roped into the relationship with CC and how easy it is to believe all the lies.

    I am very thankful that I ended the relationship with the controlling police officer when I did. I hate to admit it but he had many characteristic that DP has.

    I hope everyone here doesn’t think I’m a horrible person. I am now married to a wonderful man who I believe with all of my heart would never betray me or I him.



  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginny View Post
    I'm probably going to throw myself to the wolves with this but here goes. While I was in college (almost 20 years ago), I became involved with a married police officer. He told me that his marriage was essentially over, that they slept in separate rooms, the only reason he was in the marriage was for the 3 children, etc. etc. He called me at will, he went on vacations with me, he was good at the "game". I believed him hook, line and sinker.

    About a year into the relationship, he let it slip that his wife had caught him cheating with another woman several years prior to our relationship. I was utterly sick to my stomach because I believed that I was his first infidelity. Needless to say, I ended the relationship shortly thereafter. I knew deep down in my heart that he was never going to change regardless of who he was with.

    I am very ashamed that the relationship ever happened. His wife did catch him cheating, but the ironic thing was, she thought it was with me almost a year after we parted ways. I actually wrote a letter to his wife apologizing (not that I think it helped ease her pain any).

    Now, with that being said, I did not know this woman nor her family. I was not a friend from high school nor did I have any contact with her until I wrote the letter apologizing. But I do understand how TL could have gotten roped into the relationship with CC and how easy it is to believe all the lies.

    I am very thankful that I ended the relationship with the controlling police officer when I did. I hate to admit it but he now had many characteristic that DP has.

    I hope everyone here doesnít think Iím a horrible person. I am now married to a wonderful man who I believe with all of my heart would never betray me or I him.
    There's no way anyone would compare you to TL - and you are obviously sorry for what you did. When you realized what kind of person he was, you ended the relationship. You were in college at the time - I'm guessing you were somewhat immature and out on your own for the first time. TL has been on her own a long time and knows the "ins and outs" of men because that was basically her "job". You are NOT a horrible person - you are human - and we love you!


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  16. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by who knew? View Post
    There's no way anyone would compare you to TL - and you are obviously sorry for what you did. When you realized what kind of person he was, you ended the relationship. You were in college at the time - I'm guessing you were somewhat immature and out on your own for the first time. TL has been on her own a long time and knows the "ins and outs" of men because that was basically her "job". You are NOT a horrible person - you are human - and we love you!
    Thank you, you brought tears to my eyes and I love you guys too !


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  18. #41
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    Ginny, wow. You had the strength to walk away and the character to apologize to the wife. As we say here in the south, you were raised right!

    So glad you and your husband have a wonderful, loving, trusting marriage like you deserve!


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  20. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrintGal View Post
    Ginny, wow. You had the strength to walk away and the character to apologize to the wife. As we say here in the south, you were raised right!

    So glad you and your husband have a wonderful, loving, trusting marriage like you deserve!
    You are the polar opposite of TL and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance! I think it's safe to say that we've all made mistakes before - And I still ask for forgiveness for a couple of mine, even though I know God forgave me years ago. Thank you for sharing another point of view. If only TL had been as forthright as you were


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  22. #43
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    Kudos to you Ginny.
    The Seeker / Sports Freak /


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  24. #44
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    Lindadanette, a hardy amen to your post #32


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  26. #45
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    Lindadannette ... Can you bring up the link to that video that shows JMM and CC off to the side? The body language was pretty telling. Was JMM was playing to an audience at that moment? CC acted more like a butler/personal servant than the "head" of security.

    In my opinion the Coleman family has closed ranks around CC. There was some talk in earlier posts about how Papa C always found a way to blame others, no one in their family was ever "wrong".


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