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  1. #1
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    Dec 2008
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    MN - Christopher Bjerkness slashed exercise balls at fitness center, Duluth, 2009

    I thought this was a joke but it appears to be real;



    WANTED FOR BUSTING BALLS!!

    LINKAGE

    You may have to join a free membership to the paper to view. Not a big deal.

    Duluth police search for rubber ball fetish burglar
    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    By: Mark Stodghill, Duluth News Tribune

    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    Christopher Neil Bjerkness, 31, is accused of breaking into the St. Mary’s/Duluth Clinic West building at 4212 Grand Ave., where he allegedly slashed exercise balls, apparently with a sharp knife.




    You've got to have pretty big balls to do something like this over and over again!

  2. #2
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    Apr 2009
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    kansas city, mo
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    OT but you icon almost made me slap my screen. Our doors open at work and there are a bunch of flies in here. I thought it was one crawling on my screen!

    Maybe he should buy some balls that he can bust all he wants without going to jail. Heck, he could probably get a frequent buyer card and wholesale prices.

    I guess I don't see the sexiness in popping balls.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steely Dan View Post
    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.
    (SNIPPED BY STEADFAST)
    Lying prone, yet again, on the unyielding gym floor, Chris looked into the leering, sweaty face of Brandon, the cruel jock who never tired of hurling the medicine ball hard -- so very hard -- at his puny chest . . .

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by kittenish View Post
    OT but you icon almost made me slap my screen. Our doors open at work and there are a bunch of flies in here. I thought it was one crawling on my screen!

    Maybe he should buy some balls that he can bust all he wants without going to jail. Heck, he could probably get a frequent buyer card and wholesale prices.

    I guess I don't see the sexiness in popping balls.
    That's part of the fun!!!!

    The balls cost about $70 a piece so it's doubtful he'd buy his own. It might also be part of the sexual thrill to break in and do it.

    What the hades do you do with a guy like this? IMO, he's obviously dangerous to society because of his fetish and his fearless attempts to get them but putting him away for a long time will be difficult

    Quote Originally Posted by STEADFAST View Post
    Lying prone, yet again, on the unyielding gym floor, Chris looked into the leering, sweaty face of Brandon, the cruel jock who never tired of hurling the medicine ball hard -- so very hard -- at his puny chest . . .

  5. #5


    I have one of those balls upstairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <gasp!>

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimster View Post


    I have one of those balls upstairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <gasp!>
    You need to move it into a triple locked closet and keep a loaded gun by your bed!!

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzUNYtVy1HM"]YouTube - Jim Pops Dwight's Ball - The Office[/ame]

  7. #7
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    He sounds like he's kind of, but not quite, up there with the patio table guy, vacuum guy and the pinecone lady.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2009
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    I heard they is DNA on each and every one of them their balls too.......Wonder what kinds of DNA they done found? :Banane06:

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by montana_16 View Post
    He sounds like he's kind of, but not quite, up there with the patio table guy, vacuum guy and the pinecone lady.
    I had totally forgotten about Pinecone Lady!! YEOWCH!!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by montana_16 View Post
    He sounds like he's kind of, but not quite, up there with the patio table guy, vacuum guy and the pinecone lady.
    I had totally forgotten about Pinecone Lady!! YEOWCH!!


  11. #11
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    Wink ^^^ See the little guy by my name? Let me tell ya!

    This is the sweetest, calmest, most gentlemanly little Maltese God ever put on the earth...
    UNTIL I got out my large Pilates balance ball a week or two ago. Out came the MONSTER dog. He's extremely afraid of them.

    I actually KILLED my balance ball when he kept on shaking and hiding. Took a kitchen knife and speared it and let him watch the air go out once and for all.

    I guess if a little sweet and smart dog can be afraid of the big balls, a man can too.
    I wouldn't give my well-balanced dog a psych. eval., but would offer the man one, LOL.

    Maria

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeekingJana View Post
    This is the sweetest, calmest, most gentlemanly little Maltese God ever put on the earth...
    UNTIL I got out my large Pilates balance ball a week or two ago. Out came the MONSTER dog. He's extremely afraid of them.

    I actually KILLED my balance ball when he kept on shaking and hiding. Took a kitchen knife and speared it and let him watch the air go out once and for all.

    I guess if a little sweet and smart dog can be afraid of the big balls, a man can too.
    I wouldn't give my well-balanced dog a psych. eval., but would offer the man one, LOL.

    Maria
    In relation to this thread.....how did you "feel" when you sliced that ball? Maybe it will help us to better understand.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gypsy Road View Post
    I had totally forgotten about Pinecone Lady!! YEOWCH!!
    Pinecone lady? What's that about?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe42 View Post
    In relation to this thread.....how did you "feel" when you sliced that ball? Maybe it will help us to better understand.
    Please don't say that. Sliced balls make me sick to think about!!

  14. #14
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    Aug 2008
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    I wonder if this little fetish began with popping packing peanuts.

  15. #15
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    Aug 2008
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    Bjerkness...that surname seems like one who would enjoy ball slashing.

    Is this a post from the Onion?

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