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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Enough with the rudeness

    After numerous alerts and reading on the poll thread, since taking this forum as a moderator, I need to say something to all of you.

    There is way too much rudeness on these threads. I believe that all of you are here for the right reasons, but the bickering has got to stop. I am not going to spend my days sitting here to watch every post or my nights going through threads to see why someone alerted. This is absolutely crazy. None of you will ever agree on everything, and all of you are entitled to your opinions. Why can't you agree to disagree?

    Chico and I discussed this tonight. We will be deleting all snarky rude posts and giving the posters a mandatory break from here on. There is no reason for threads to have to be pulled because you cannot post in a respectful manner and the posters who are (THANK YOU) shouldn't have to wade through garbage any more than the mods should.

    Remember if you feel a post is baiting, inappropriate, rude, whatever alert to it but do not reply. One is as bad as the other. If someone sends you a nasty pm please let one of us know so we can deal with it as this is not acceptable either.

  2. #2
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    Exclamation Everyone needs to go read TOS

    and the stickies at the top of this thread. The name changes need to stop, as do the off topic discussions. Locals cannot post their inside information here, that is strictly for the rumor thread and will not be addressed in the main forum again.

    Look guys, I do not delete posts at random, I am very lenient really and I don't "take sides" as that is not my job. I value each and every one of your opinions and really would appreciate cooperation in keeping the forum running smoothly with few problems.

    If you see a post as really being out of line please just alert to it and either Chico or myself will make the determination of what needs to be done. We are allowing discussion of both sides of the fence and for the most part have seen no posts that are out of line, although we have had numerous alerts....makes no sense to us. Everyone is allowed to express their opinion here, if you don't like their opinion that is fine but it is no reason to alert.
    Last edited by Animal04216; 09-12-2009 at 04:45 PM.

  3. #3
    KOOL LOOK's Avatar
    KOOL LOOK is offline ~~~Sin is the Cause of all Sorrow~~~For this Gal, "Love" is my Vengence
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    Animal I'm unclear about name changes? Don't get that, sorry I might have missed somethings and want to make sure I'm not doing it. Also wasn't aware about the local rule, appreciate that heads up.

    I wanted to share that I'm discouraged with this forum, if this isn't the appropriate place to say, I gladly will delete. Since you didn't lock the thread took it that we could put some input.

    Just realized after proofreading, also to stop topic discussions? I know I'm not understanding clearly. Thanks for clarification.

  4. #4
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    LOL Kool that was a typo it was "off topic" not "of topic" There is a sticky up top that explains the names thing. I am talking about the calling players in the case by other than their given name.

    Want to add that I am also discouraged with this forum in some ways. This is why I am trying to get it back on track. The pettiness I have seen in some posting and alerts is not the way I have perceived any of our forums to be. It just seems that the threads have been off topic for a long time, and it needs to get back to the way it usually is here with all of you. I can honestly say this is the first forum I have had too many problems with.

  5. #5
    KOOL LOOK's Avatar
    KOOL LOOK is offline ~~~Sin is the Cause of all Sorrow~~~For this Gal, "Love" is my Vengence
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    Agree, last year was the first time I ever ventured to internet forums other than here, seeing this kind of atmosphere. Never at ws, my heart (due to the social side concerning the members).

    People that are making a statement are being pounded, things thrown in that has nothing to do with that post. It's become about the posters instead of the case. Responsible posters aren't participating in the tit for tat, baiting and now they have given up on posting all together.

    No one knows yet who is responsible for Haleigh's disappearance, we have ideas, we are able to surmise who has responsibilities towards the children, but the way Ron and Misty have been talked about here is tasteless and not what I've believed ws is about.

    Our public forum is a place for the public to visit, read and acquire information, facts and opinions most of the time before it even hits major news outlets, which is what gives ws the edge. If we are running off our public that looks highly upon ws, we lose our edge above others. LOL Passionate opinions are so welcome. Tasteless remarks over and over again directed at ron, misty and the cummings family are being made in their posts along with being intentionally aimed at posts made by those who don't post in this manner. In turn eventually the poster who doesn't hate Ron takes it personally because its nonstop. Many members taking one post, quoting it over and over, mind you not adding to it, just saying the same anti comments about the content and adding a jab at ron and misty to boot.

    Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I'll do my part in posting responsibly which in my mind means, just because it's not against tos, doesn't necessarily mean I have free reign to say at will. Use discrestion, if several members have already said what I think too, I don't need to keep it up towards that one poster who disagrees, it becomes a gang mentality and does cause hurt feelings.

    Off to read tos concerning the names, I wasn't aware.

  6. #6
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    If you want this forum to stay open

    Everyone needs to stop making posts about other posters "bashing" the players in this case. The nasty posting will stop. Anything out of line will result in either a 2 week vacation or permanent ban if it is bad enough. I had over 40 reported posts most of them regarding the Ron C thread and posters being "called out" on it. This type of posting will not be allowed. If you see it report it do not reply because if you do you will also receive a TO.

  7. #7
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    I just got back from a time out, I am still not sure exactly what I did, stirring the pot is the reason that was given. Honestly I was responding to a poster that was bashing a family member....so I will not be doing that again. The past week I have been reading here thinking that this forum would be shut down before I could come back and post. Then I see your post pop up. I am hoping that Haleigh's forum does not get shut down. I have been sleuthing in here for the past 5 months. For months there was usually 5 or 6 people in here on a busy day. Now it seems that there are a million posts that need to be sorted through to find the details that actually pertain to the actual facts in this case. More often than not I feel like members come here to argue rather than sleuth.

    Sorry, I know you weren't asking for my opinion but I am just disappointed and the thread wasn't locked to posting.
    The depths of which we are able to love will be measured by the depths we are able to love ourselves....et

    There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must NEVER be a time when we fail to protest. Elie Wiesel

  8. #8
    texasmommy39's Avatar
    texasmommy39 is offline Truly intelligent people have far more questions than they ever have answers.
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    I love this forum and would hate to loose the privledge to be a member here, but, have found that it has become user unfriendly and non productive because it has become about expressing personal feelings in regards to these individuals character and that is the down fall of this team effort. I do not have any emotions tied up into any other person aside from HaLeigh. It does not matter if I like or love any of them it is about who out of all of them did this and had motive, means and ability to commit this crime. My opinion of who did it or is behind it is clear and I will stick to my opinion till the arrests are made and It is been proven folly. I would expect nothing less from any other member, but, instead of us bashing and baiting can we not come together and work the facts to be clearer and not so cluttered with OT and irresponsible posted personal feelings expressed about individuals and find HaLeigh?

  9. #9
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    A jigsaw puzzle has many pieces. Finding which piece goes where takes time and patience. Believing a missing piece goes in an empy space does not mean it will. Emotion must be left on the table. Emotions are just colors on the puzzle. Facts are the pieces that fit and they must be the right shape and size.

  10. #10
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    IMO, there are two sharply divided sides here. The sides are defined as the ones who believe Ronald is totally innocent, and the ones who believe Ronald and Misty know what happened to Haleigh and are culpable. Both sides are genuine in their beliefs.

    We all have our reasons for what we believe. I have gotten to where I just read most of the time because no matter what a poster states, there is someone right behind you reading the post and disagrees with it. Disagreeing is one thing, but this constant badgering is something I do not care for so I mostly stay downstairs. A healthy discussion is what will help this case, not arguing, IMO.

    IMO, who is right or wrong does not matter. Haleigh is the one who has suffered this event and has been the one who has lost through this constant bickering. Being right should not matter to people who truly care about Haleigh. I force myself to take a break when my temper starts to rise. Getting snarky (I prefer the word 'snotty', LOL), will not solve anything, so I have learned to just take the little break and come back later.

    GB little Haleigh and may she be located very soon whether it is bad news or not. It is so past time for this to end!

    JMO, MOO
    Thoughts and prayers for the people of Paris and all of France!


  11. #11
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    I do not want to see the thread shut down. I am thankful that we have the opportunity to post and sleuth here at WS. Being right does not matter....having an opinion other than mine does not matter.....HaLeigh matters and anyone who put her at risk is the only one wrong. I try not to alert other posts because I really believe that everyone has a right to their opinion. I am sorry that it has become more about personalities here, than about HaLeigh. Thank you for allowing me to post in freedom, within reason. Animal.....kudos and many thanks for taking us on. We can be a rowdy bunch...but I do believe that most all of us love HaLeigh.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaLaw2000 View Post
    IMO, there are two sharply divided sides here. The sides are defined as the ones who believe Ronald is totally innocent, and the ones who believe Ronald and Misty know what happened to Haleigh and are culpable. Both sides are genuine in their beliefs.

    We all have our reasons for what we believe. I have gotten to where I just read most of the time because no matter what a poster states, there is someone right behind you reading the post and disagrees with it. Disagreeing is one thing, but this constant badgering is something I do not care for so I mostly stay downstairs. A healthy discussion is what will help this case, not arguing, IMO.

    IMO, who is right or wrong does not matter. Haleigh is the one who has suffered this event and has been the one who has lost through this constant bickering. Being right should not matter to people who truly care about Haleigh. I force myself to take a break when my temper starts to rise. Getting snarky (I prefer the word 'snotty', LOL), will not solve anything, so I have learned to just take the little break and come back later.

    GB little Haleigh and may she be located very soon whether it is bad news or not. It is so past time for this to end!

    JMO, MOO
    I agree. I was active on this forum in the beginning, but declined to post after seeing that there seemed to be two camps. At that time, the two camps were Crystal's family vs Ron's family, with posters taking sides...........Crystal's side or Ron's side.

    I don't think there's any "side" other than finding out who's responsible for Haleigh's disappearance. Both sides seem to have a lot of issues.

    I made a post today, the first in a long time on this forum, expressing my opinion about Misty.
    My posts are my opinion..........



  13. #13
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    Thank you for clarifying the rules for everyone. I would really hate to lose Haleigh's forum.

    Sometimes things get hostile in the forums, and I can't understand why. Aren't we all here for the same reason?
    Caylee, "He will raise you up on eagle's wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of his hand."

  14. #14
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    A Third Side

    Quote Originally Posted by LaLaw2000 View Post
    IMO, there are two sharply divided sides here. The sides are defined as the ones who believe Ronald is totally innocent, and the ones who believe Ronald and Misty know what happened to Haleigh and are culpable. Both sides are genuine in their beliefs.
    Maybe there's a third "side": those who take what LE is saying more or less at face value, that the biological parents have been "cleared of suspicion," that Misty lied on the polygraph and to everyone she has talked to, that Misty knows more than she is saying, and that events probably did not unfold in accord with her account. This third "side" sees that Haleigh and her brother were being raised (as the result of both parents' choices) in a chaotic situation where multiple partners for each parent, neglect, drugs, and criminality impacted their lives. What would it mean to say that either Ronald or Crystal was "totally" innocent? Would that mean that either had done enough to protect Haleigh and her brother? And certainly it's possible to think that Misty knows what happened to Haleigh and Ron does not, or that Ron suspects but does not yet have proof. The bottom line is that even when LE knows who committed a crime, it's hard to make a case without a body. And there is still hope that Haleigh was abducted and is alive. So until we know Haleigh's condition and situation, and until there is a body, no one--not family members, not attorneys, not LE--will or should tip their hand about what they know or think they know. It's possible for terrible things to happen to kids who have great, attentive, loving, and intact families (John and Reve Walsh, Stan and Julie Patz, the Smart family) or families of divorce with two competent and loving parents (Polly Klaas's family). I am sure every one of those people have said "if only" a million times. So when a loved child disappears, there is a lifetime of guilt and regret for those who love her. And I do think Ron, Crystal, and Teresa love Haleigh.

    In any case, it's wise to remember that we don't really know the people involved in the case; we only have what we see in the media to go by, and that all those who are concerned and not "persons of interest" are under terrible stress. We are seeing and judging these people at the worst moments of their lives.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KOOL LOOK View Post
    Agree, last year was the first time I ever ventured to internet forums other than here, seeing this kind of atmosphere. Never at ws, my heart (due to the social side concerning the members).

    People that are making a statement are being pounded, things thrown in that has nothing to do with that post. It's become about the posters instead of the case. Responsible posters aren't participating in the tit for tat, baiting and now they have given up on posting all together.

    No one knows yet who is responsible for Haleigh's disappearance, we have ideas, we are able to surmise who has responsibilities towards the children, but the way Ron and Misty have been talked about here is tasteless and not what I've believed ws is about.

    Our public forum is a place for the public to visit, read and acquire information, facts and opinions most of the time before it even hits major news outlets, which is what gives ws the edge. If we are running off our public that looks highly upon ws, we lose our edge above others. LOL Passionate opinions are so welcome. Tasteless remarks over and over again directed at ron, misty and the cummings family are being made in their posts along with being intentionally aimed at posts made by those who don't post in this manner. In turn eventually the poster who doesn't hate Ron takes it personally because its nonstop. Many members taking one post, quoting it over and over, mind you not adding to it, just saying the same anti comments about the content and adding a jab at ron and misty to boot.

    Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I'll do my part in posting responsibly which in my mind means, just because it's not against tos, doesn't necessarily mean I have free reign to say at will. Use discrestion, if several members have already said what I think too, I don't need to keep it up towards that one poster who disagrees, it becomes a gang mentality and does cause hurt feelings.

    Off to read tos concerning the names, I wasn't aware.
    Yes, exactly; You mentioned, "the post and not the poster." When a moderator says that something is, "about the poster not the post" that has meaning for me. To me that means that instead of being about the case, for example, the subject of the post is the WS site itself, the posters at WS, or the trend in the conversation, or negatively characterizing or describing certain comments made by so-n-so poster/s. To me these are examples of thread killers, b/c generally after these types of things are said, I noticed the discussion typically then either immediately, or soon following, goes to heck in a handcart.

    I just wondered what causes this downspiral, - like what starts it. So out of curiosity I paid attention and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it :-) duh. Iow, there are certain types of trigger sentences that seem to get the thread going in a bad direction and it's not just once but many times. Ahd heh I'm just anal enough :-) and weird enough to be interested in making note of it and watching it happen. (wishing it wouldnt, of course, but nevertheless) FWIW, here are a few examples of how "about the poster not the post" conversations can get started. Like someone said recently somewhere, (I'll paraphrase so no one will be singled out b/c that's not my point at all)
    Example: "There are some of you who seem to be following the case just so you can nitpick about _____ (name here).... - - -
    I just want to find Haleigh."


    Wow... to me that is so .. wow.. First it subtly (or not) implies that the "other" whoever poster doesn't want to find Haleigh. Second, the person is presuming to know why someone else is here which is mind reading; and to boot, the inferred reason is not very honorable - (as in - "...You're just here to nitpick at _________ and that's tacky") But that's the thing. That's the beauty of DIFFERENT OPINIONS.

    For example, if you (I dont mean, "you" you - but the collective you) - if you stated your opinion about, let's say, Casey Anthony, for example, before she was arrested (or choose anyone -- for that matter) it would be rude and inpprorpriate of me to admonish you and try to stop you from saying what you felt about Casey or whoever-fill-in-the-blank-person. Iow, let's say that you state that you find Casey (or whoever -fil-in-the-blank; I cant think off the top of my head - anyone--) but let's say that you state that you find Casey to be untruthful, inconsistent, and you find her behavior cold and uncaring when she did XYZ things... that's YOUR OPINION.

    And if I dont find her to be any of those things - iow if I dont think she's cold, uncaring, lying, inconsistent, cold or whatever - just b/c I dont agree, I don't have a right to characterize YOUR opinion as "nitpicking," "unfair," "boorish" and "wrong" just b/c I don't agree with it. Imo it would be rude and inappropriate of me to say to you, "You shouldnt talk about her that way," or "That is tacky or inelegant to say such things about _____ so-n-so..." -- b/c that is your opinion. Just b/c it's not my opinion, I dont have a right to try to silence you and characterize you as "being tacky" b/c I disagree. Another "talking about posters instead of posts" imo that I observed recently is : "I just read where everyone's complaining. You're just bitter because you like ____ and you don't like ____. I'm glad to see that at least some people in this thread get it and are not tacky."

    YIKES; Also, there are people who get into to arguing technicalities about wording and semantics; To me, I think that person very well knows when he/she is being snide and snotty to fellow posters and when he/she is denigrating, labeling, and characrteizing the opinons of others as "unacceptabe" or "wrong" or "tacky" and so does everyone else reading the post. I guess what I'm saying is that there are ways to disagree with a fellow poster that aren't the written equivalent of an insulting eye-roll loaded with contempt. Most people do not respond well to that and understandably so.
    Last edited by kant; 10-04-2009 at 12:42 AM.

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