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  1. #1
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    OR - After a lifetime of abuse, a girl sees justice done/helps others

    http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index...adline_tk.html

    The Oregonian should be commended for running this piece on the heart-wrenching overview of the life of a survivor. It is a series and I will add to it everyday. The only thing I have to say, other than "Wow...what a strong young woman" is that I wonder about the decision not to run her real name. "Ashley" asked that her real name be used. The abusers and rapists are named. Whom are they protecting? I'd like to hear from other survivors. If you told your story, would you want your name used?




    "From her earliest memories, nearly every adult entrusted to protect Ashley had failed her, including both parents and her stepfather. That was about to change.

    During the next five months, strangers would rescue Ashley, moved by her determination to find justice. The deputy district attorney who prosecuted Palmer became so inspired by Ashley that she formed a foundation to fund special moments in the lives of abused children.

    Ashley wants to help others, too. She hopes telling her story will let desperate children know they are not alone and show them the way to a better life."
    Last edited by Missizzy; 01-09-2010 at 03:05 PM.

  2. #2
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    This defys words.
    email me


    Long Lost Love: The Bob Harrod Story Disappeared/ID Network
    Amazon: Purchase Long Lost Love $1.99


    Bob Harrod SAR


    “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
    ― Maya Angelou

  3. #3
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    MissIzzy - it sounds like 'Ashley' is still a minor & the Oregonian doesn't walk to slide down any legal slippery slopes...........And yes, she *is* a very brave girl for coming forward to give others hope....I wish there was some way to let her know that!
    What we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.
    But if that drop was not in the ocean,
    I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
    ~~ Mother Theresa ~~



    Where is Rachel Cooke? Missing since 10-Jan-2002
    Rachel's thread - WS
    RachelCookeSearch.org

  4. #4
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    You're probably right. I hadn't thought of that. I made the assumption that she was at least 18. I imagine that there'll be an outpouring of support as Portland is a strong supporter of victim/survivor rights.

    This article does come at an interesting time, though, doesn't it--right on the heels of the horrible murder of Jeanette Maples? I hope it wasn't run because of pressure from DHS for some spin.

    One point that really jumped out at me was the difficulty to reach out to a child who was constantly moving. I've never been able to figure out if frequent moves are just a natural occurrence for many dysfunctional families or if abusers and neglectful families use the moves as a way to cover up their actions.

    Totally O/T, we had an earthquake a couple of hours ago. Everyone thought I was nuts but I see that we DID. I made a note of the time and I was right on. It was odd as I thought there'd been an accident nearby, as there was a kind of lurch, and all my dogs barked. That's really rare for Oregon. Hope any posters in far Northern California and coastal Oregon are OK.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missizzy View Post
    You're probably right. I hadn't thought of that. I made the assumption that she was at least 18. I imagine that there'll be an outpouring of support as Portland is a strong supporter of victim/survivor rights.

    This article does come at an interesting time, though, doesn't it--right on the heels of the horrible murder of Jeanette Maples? I hope it wasn't run because of pressure from DHS for some spin.

    One point that really jumped out at me was the difficulty to reach out to a child who was constantly moving. I've never been able to figure out if frequent moves are just a natural occurrence for many dysfunctional families or if abusers and neglectful families use the moves as a way to cover up their actions.

    Totally O/T, we had an earthquake a couple of hours ago. Everyone thought I was nuts but I see that we DID. I made a note of the time and I was right on. It was odd as I thought there'd been an accident nearby, as there was a kind of lurch, and all my dogs barked. That's really rare for Oregon. Hope any posters in far Northern California and coastal Oregon are OK.
    BBM --

    Or a combination of both? Here's another sad case of horrific abuse that I stumbled across tonite (while researching a different case).

    http://articles.latimes.com/2009/apr...cal/me-abuse18

    & the dad moved the family (including the children born of incest abuse) to Las Vegas because he was afraid of being caught.

    I read about these cases & the meaning of 'survivor' is truly that -- they are lucky to get out alive.
    What we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.
    But if that drop was not in the ocean,
    I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
    ~~ Mother Theresa ~~



    Where is Rachel Cooke? Missing since 10-Jan-2002
    Rachel's thread - WS
    RachelCookeSearch.org

  6. #6
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    What made me speechless was the way he courted her. How confused will that make her when it comes to trying to establish normal relationships and boundaries in her life? She has a very, very strong sense of self.
    email me


    Long Lost Love: The Bob Harrod Story Disappeared/ID Network
    Amazon: Purchase Long Lost Love $1.99


    Bob Harrod SAR


    “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
    ― Maya Angelou

  7. #7
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    To the right of the story it says -
    A note about this story
    Ashley is not the real name of the girl in this story.

    She asked to be identified, but The Oregonian generally shields the identity of sex-abuse victims -- especially children -- to protect their privacy and security. Reporter Steve Mayes followed her case through the judicial system and investigated the story through interviews, court documents and public records.

    Today: A girl seeks justice

    Monday: Confronting her father

    Tuesday: Ashley's legacy
    IMO, since she is a minor; they will not name her because it may bite them later on.

    As far as the story; and the 2nd one posted.. there can never be enough justice; the punishment does not fit the crime.

    My only hope is these 2 guys will get raped in prison.

  8. #8
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    Texas Mist--Thanks for posting that...there are many similarities. The terror these young women (and sometimes, men) endure is just breathtaking. It's remarkable that they do live, that their bodies don't just crumple under the incredible stress. I would liken it to being in a war zone. And to think that she could carry three babies.

    I'm reminded so much of Jaycee and Elizabeth Fritzl. They somehow create a life for their children and infuse them with love and goodness. It's almost as if they strive to be the antithesis of their fathers/abductors. I wonder if anyone has ever written a book or paper on the emotional health of children raised by mothers who were raped, impregnated, and imprisoned. I greatly respect the LA woman's comment about wanting to give her daughters the things she didn't have...safety and fun. But is that possible? Do these families qualify for and receive community based therapy and parenting support? I would hope so.
    Last edited by Missizzy; 01-10-2010 at 08:24 PM.

  9. #9
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    Forgot to mention that it looks as if the next segment of the Oregonian article runs tomorrow, Monday. I'll be sure to post a link.

  10. #10
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    Speaking of using a victim/survivor's real name, we receive a newsletter from our local Children's Advocacy Center as we are supporters and got one in the mail yesterday. I was very surprised that they show teen girls in art therapy classes and at special dinners. They clearly showed their faces and used their first names. I'm certain that the girls and the families gave permission but I don't think we would have seen this a few years ago. A similar article ran in the local paper:

    http://www.mailtribune.com/apps/pbcs...NEWS/908090301


    In one of the last newsletters, there was a great story of a new boy's mentoring group. Once again, the boys were clearly identifiable and first names listed. I happen to know the names used are correct as I was shocked to see a young boy who I know. I was saddened to find out that he had been sexually abused but heartened to see that he's in therapy.


    I sense a change coming. Personally, I'm in favor of it as it proves that society is ready to except that there is no shame in being sexually abused. I'm not a survivor myself, though, so I wonder how others on WS, who are survivors, feel about this.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missizzy View Post
    You're probably right. I hadn't thought of that. I made the assumption that she was at least 18. I imagine that there'll be an outpouring of support as Portland is a strong supporter of victim/survivor rights.
    .
    She is only 13 or 14. Sad they returned her to her father after they took her. If she had mentioned the video tapes couldnt they have gotten a warrent? Seems she was talking trying to get out I dont understand the way they handle these cases. I guess thats what makes things so easy for people like bobby.

  12. #12
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    "Bobby and Michelle Palmer married in early 1994 and had a son the same year. "Ashley" was born two years later."

    So, "Ashley" was born in 1996. I hadn't done the math. You're correct, Soulmagent. She'd be about 14. Thanks. Maybe her caseworker or therapist felt that she's just too young to make the decision to go public yet. I can understand that.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missizzy View Post
    Speaking of using a victim/survivor's real name, we receive a newsletter from our local Children's Advocacy Center as we are supporters and got one in the mail yesterday. I was very surprised that they show teen girls in art therapy classes and at special dinners. They clearly showed their faces and used their first names. I'm certain that the girls and the families gave permission but I don't think we would have seen this a few years ago. A similar article ran in the local paper:

    http://www.mailtribune.com/apps/pbcs...NEWS/908090301


    In one of the last newsletters, there was a great story of a new boy's mentoring group. Once again, the boys were clearly identifiable and first names listed. I happen to know the names used are correct as I was shocked to see a young boy who I know. I was saddened to find out that he had been sexually abused but heartened to see that he's in therapy.


    I sense a change coming. Personally, I'm in favor of it as it proves that society is ready to except that there is no shame in being sexually abused. I'm not a survivor myself, though, so I wonder how others on WS, who are survivors, feel about this.
    My take on it is keep the minors private until they can make their own choice...adults s/b kept private unless they choose & only if they understand the what happens, or could happen, afterwards.

    While many may now acknowledge there is no shame in being a survivor, the survivors may still feel shame, they're somehow to blame, guilt for disclosing because of effects on family & community....they may not have disclosed except to those that they had to - which may not include all family members...even tho they've testified in a trial, they may not be comfortable discussing w/ the waitress at the local coffee shop, IYKWIM.

    IMO, it's a personal decision for each survivor and they all have to determine how best to survive...for some disclosing & going public & sharing their experience may be part of healing and surviving, and freeing themselves....for others, it's a matter of moving on -- putting those memories back in a jar, and putting the jar high up on a shelf, retrieving it only as necessary.

    I may not have explained my opinion very well, but IME, it's all very complicated, and not the same for every survivor.
    What we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.
    But if that drop was not in the ocean,
    I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
    ~~ Mother Theresa ~~



    Where is Rachel Cooke? Missing since 10-Jan-2002
    Rachel's thread - WS
    RachelCookeSearch.org

  14. #14
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    Yes, it all comes back to jars, doesn't it? I think you explained it very well, Texas Mist.

  15. #15
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    I am speechless. I have to digest all of this before I can comment. I can say one thing, thank God for the neighbors/people/etc. that did right by this child.
    Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
    We are all just trying to make sense of an unimaginable crime.

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