NY - Sex offender caught in bed with friend's 7-year-old

Don't attempt to adjust your PC folks. I'd love to say this is a repeat of the same story I've posted I don't know how many times, but nope.

Eugene Hayes is a Registered Sex Offender. He must be one he*l of a friend because people know he's a RSO, but still allow him to stay with them. Hayes was caught in bed performing a sex act on the "friends" 7 year old daughter. What a way to show your thanks for hospitality.

Don't ask me why he's still alive. Don't ask me why in this mughsot he's still got two eyeballs and no broken jaw. He did do a year in prison for a 2007 sexual offense against a teen.

So Today's Reoffending Sex Offender is as usual unrehabilitated. Yeah, yeah he's locked up. Blah, blah. Now, for life this poor child will forever either try and bury how this ugly, dirty, freak climbed into her bed and wonder why some da*n adult didn't save her or she'll get the therapy she needs and hopefully become a survivor. People letting sex offenders stay overnight. Why? Why I ask?


http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2010/02/syracuse_police_registered_off.html

ummmmm the girl is 7 years old, why arent the charges rape??????????????

First of all I would never knowingly allow a RSO into my home, family member or friend. But, if not knowing he was a RSO and that happened in my home he wouldn't have walked out of there alive!

AutomaticAuttie said:

First of all I would never knowingly allow a RSO into my home, family member or friend. But, if not knowing he was a RSO and that happened in my home he wouldn't have walked out of there alive!

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amen :woohoo:

There's only one answer, Filly, and you know it already. Because they're stupid and they put their own needs--God only knows what those are--before their babies. They don't deserve to raise those children.

But logistically, what are we gonna do? We can't place every single kid who's in danger (or even sexually abused) in foster care. There aren't enough homes to go around. Caseworkers are pressured to offer the parents parenting classes and get the kids back home as soon as possible. It sickens me as I believe children need better.

kbl and AutomaticAuttie--I'm curious. Are you truly saying that you'd kill someone who abused your child? Really? Or just want to? Believe me, I understand the urge.

Being that I've dealt with that very issue (8 times over) and lived with the after effects for the last twelve years, I feel I need to caution you. Children who have been raped desperately need their families. The very last thing you want to happen is for a child's loved ones and protectors to end up in prison for murder or even assault.

Let the police, the DA's office, and the Children's Advocacy Center do what they do best. You want to be there with your child while they're healing. They need you.

I strongly advocate for calling the police and going the trial route. It's a lot more child friendly, in the long run IMO.

you know i've advocated other prisoners doing it to them behind bars. i dont have it in me to 'murder' anyone myself, but i think that if i found someone doing that to my child, they would at the least get a beating.......

Missizzy said:

kbl and AutomaticAuttie--I'm curious. Are you truly saying that you'd kill someone who abused your child? Really? Or just want to? Believe me, I understand the urge.

Being that I've dealt with that very issue (8 times over) and lived with the after effects for the last twelve years, I feel I need to caution you. Children who have been raped desperately need their families. The very last thing you want to happen is for a child's loved ones and protectors to end up in prison for murder or even assault.

Let the police, the DA's office, and the Children's Advocacy Center do what they do best. You want to be there with your child while they're healing. They need you.

I strongly advocate for calling the police and going the trial route. It's a lot more child friendly, in the long run IMO.

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Iz, I know you didn't ask the question of me. However you know I'm a pain and will answer anyway.

Through therapy I learned that when it had resurfaced for me I didn't tell because I "knew" or thought I "knew" my dad would have blew the guys brains out. Thus one reason I didn't tell. That realization was when I was much older, but still I didn't want my dad to murder someone.

On the other hand I can say I don't think I'd murder the person. I do know I'd sure as heck have him accosted. If it were my child I mean. Is that the right word accosted? As kids we're programmed somehow to believe it was all our own fault anyway.

Then again these people let the guy stay there. You leave someone stay in your home I think you'd know the guy was a sex offender. I've heard it so many times from people who have "friends" who are on the registry and there's ALWAYS an excuse. Oh it was his ex wife and she just made up these charges. Oh the kid got it all wrong.

As an adult once my mom knew, and my dad had been dead she believed her friend who was "watching" me knew nothing of it. The friend was supportive. Was way too quick to believe me. That led me to think "Hmmmmmmm, so I'm like probably the tenth person told you this". Then the lady did an about-face when the SOB died. All the sudden I was confused and it was someone else and she knew who.

Honest to heaven when she showed up at our house one night unannounced with no reserve my mom told her to get off our step and never, ever come back. The lady had her grandkids with her and the woman said "Shhhhhhh, little ears are here and hearing this". My mom said "Yeah well my Filly was a little girl and look what you allowed to happen". Told the kids all to move it as well. Get off my property all of you and don't come back. Honestly, I would not have been shocked if my mom got her firearm and blew the lady away. That's how angry she was.

Then again sanity sets in. My mom in her own way knew we needed her more. Still I was proud. It really helped me. Meanwhile the creep was dead. Buried. Him? She just might have capped in the arse.

Your Mom's still with us, isn't she? If so, give her a hug for me. She stood up for her girl. That's what a kid needs. It's so hard to tell and most adults try their best not to really "hear". Bless her. I mean that.

My husband is not a violent man. He's a big guy and strong as an ox but man enough to rock babies and cuddle tiny puppies. He worried me, though, when our kids were raped. I was so scared he'd take "matters" into his own hands. You know what he did? It so obvious to me now but I didn't quite get it at the time.

We live in a really pretty historical neighborhood. At the time we were remodeling our house. He's a contractor. He got his largest back-hoe and parked it in the driveway between our house and the neighbors' (the parents of the rapist). I distinctly remember the huge bucket being raised sort of over their driveway. I think they called the police a couple of times to complain. Didn't want that bucket to come crashing down on their Mercedes. Anyway, LE were just fine with that back-hoe. It sat there for the entire 10 months we waited for trial.

Nothing like a subliminal message from a loving father. Would've been a real shame if someone had disengaged that bucket brake. Wish I would have thought of that.

My dad would have killed the guy. That said; they'd have never found the body. Three tours of Vietnam + 31 years as a maximum security prison guard = one tough SOB who loves his babies.

Missizzy said:

There's only one answer, Filly, and you know it already. Because they're stupid and they put their own needs--God only knows what those are--before their babies. They don't deserve to raise those children.

But logistically, what are we gonna do? We can't place every single kid who's in danger (or even sexually abused) in foster care. There aren't enough homes to go around. Caseworkers are pressured to offer the parents parenting classes and get the kids back home as soon as possible. It sickens me as I believe children need better.

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We could start with acknowledging the obvious; sex offenders reoffend and registries don't work. Stop releasing predators into our population to make new victims.

Protecting children from their own mother's and their mother's poor judgement, well that is an overwhelming task.

But keeping child rapists out of the general population where they can take advantage of mother's with this type of judgement is a great first step.

impatientredhead said:

We could start with acknowledging the obvious; sex offenders reoffend and registries don't work. Stop releasing predators into our population to make new victims.

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AGREE! Telling a person with a perverted complusion that has been restrained but not "cured" while in prison, is ridiculous. They can't or won't prevent themself from reoffending just becuause "society" says no.

Protecting children from their own mother's and their mother's poor judgement, well that is an overwhelming task.

But keeping child rapists out of the general population where they can take advantage of mother's with this type of judgement is a great first step.

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Who sets the standards for sex offenders? It seems the majority of people feel there should be longer and more stringent sentences but the courts don't follow that thinking. Instead they release offenders with these absolutely pointless registrations, ankle bracelets, public disclosures, ratings that tell their risk to reoffend and then hope they will be good. None of this stops an offender with mental issues nor does it keep anyone safe. How do we fix this? Telling me my neighbor is an offender puts the burden of management on me and everyone that encounters this person and that is not my job. If we need to confine these people in some seperate prison or institution is OK with me.

Openmind said:

AGREE! Telling a person with a perverted complusion that has been restrained but not "cured" while in prison, is ridiculous. They can't or won't prevent themself from reoffending just becuause "society" says no.



Who sets the standards for sex offenders? It seems the majority of people feel there should be longer and more stringent sentences but the courts don't follow that thinking. Instead they release offenders with these absolutely pointless registrations, ankle bracelets, public disclosures, ratings that tell their risk to reoffend and then hope they will be good. None of this stops an offender with mental issues nor does it keep anyone safe. How do we fix this? Telling me my neighbor is an offender puts the burden of management on me and everyone that encounters this person and that is not my job. If we need to confine these people in some seperate prison or institution is OK with me.

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In theory the voters determine it by electing the people making the laws. But this is not a primary concern for most voters, no one wants to fund it (like the registry is cheap) and when you start talking about locking these people up for life every case where a person who is a sex offender for exposing themselves while peeing in public is used as the posterchild case for how this will be unfair and abused.

Of course the obvious answer to not locking up a 20 year old that slept with a 15 year old who said she was 17 is to make a capital sex offender catagory that is a one strike and you are out deal.

Molest a three year old- no second chances.
Adult rapes a child 12 and under no second chances.
Violent sex crimes against any aged victim- no second chances.
Nonviolent 20 year old with a 15 year old- one chance to show you were an idiot and not a predator. We can call it the Idiot registry because sex offenders should not be out roaming about!

But again this is not a primary concern for most voters.
Apparantly what we as a public really care about is whether our legislators approve of gay marriage, have had affairs, or smoked pot in college. You know things that really effect our day to day life......

I think these parents should be charged with child endangerment at the very least because they knowingly let that perverted freak into their homes and around their child.

Impatientredhead--I love your idea of the Idiot Registry. ITA, I think the registry is clogged with tens of thousands who really shouldn't be on it. It's like developing a registry for thieves and filling it with shop-lifters. Shoplifting is WRONG and against the law but it doesn't merit a registry. You have to look at the potential to re-offend AND the totality of the crime.

The Idiots should be on a 2 or 3 year registry which is run by a completely different entity. I think it should also require therapy and training at the offender's own expense. Great idea. That would free up the Registry for the offenders who are causing the most harm--both to the victims and to society as a whole.


But my question still stands. What do we do about the children who are being harmed in their homes? So often the non-offending parent is in a co-dependent situation and refuses to get out and protect the child. We've done massive studies and learned that children only flourish when they grow up in permanent family homes. Orphanages, institutions, and group homes have been proven to not be conducive to healthy children.

Every state is slashing their budgets on child welfare (as well as LE and education). Something's got to give. My knee jerk reaction is the same as everyone else's on WS--GET THE KID OUT OF THE HOME!! But then, I ask myself, to where? There's not enough experienced and stable foster families to go around. And foster families have fallen from grace, over and over due to lack of intensive oversight and/or support. You are asking for disaster when you place a child in a home which is unprepared to offer the level of care required by that particular child. That's when we end up with abuse in the foster home.

I don't have many answers but the things I really think that would help are these:

1) Foster families deserve and require more funding, support, and on-going training

2) The stigma of "doing it for the money" must be removed (don't teachers "do it for the money" too?) Yes, we love kids but love doesn't cover the costs of raising a child in this day and age. The kids coming into care who have been traumatized and/or prenatally exposed require a level of professionalism that most don't recognize.

3) Expect excellence from foster families. Follow through with the laws of home-visits. Increase oversight of progress and safety in the home. Remove licenses immediately when abuses are found.

4) Give foster families more of a voice in court

5) Adhere strictly to the federal laws concerning concurrent planning--this is working equally on reunification (bio-family training and therapy with the plan to return the child) AND the plan of permanent termination of parental rights (if the parents fail) so kids don't get stalled in the system while everyone's playing court-tag

6) Follow the federal mandate and allow adoptive families to receive the appropriate foster care rates as adoption assistance--it's an entitlement plan that many states fail to follow and which creates a huge barrier to permanency...a disincentive to adoption

7) Recognize the need of foster children who are aging out of the system at age 18 and provide assistance and support and tuition. These kids are some of our most vulnerable. Studies show that kids depend of their families for financial and emotional support through the age of 26. What's an 18 year old foster kid supposed to do when he walks out the door on his 18th birthday with no family?

8) Allow foster parents the right to form unions, meet without agency staff present, to lobby and to access insurance. Some of the greatest families are career families. Support their professionalism.

9) Create a network of experienced foster families who can mentor the new families coming on board

10) Lastly, again remove the stigma of foster care--it's time!!

So, if I was queen that would be my plan.

The deserved to be beat - and I'm sorry that his mugshot did not reflect such a beating took place.

As for killing him - I think that would be my first instinct, but I would hope that my normal good sense would take over. Doing such a thing in front of the child, in my opinion, would cause another very complex web of emotions to open up in the child. As Filly said, we, as children, always seem to think it is our fault anyway. So if the died in front of her eyes, well..... it just couldn't be good, kwim? But beating him... oh yeah!

I'm not sure how I feel about the parents. I wonder what story they believed about the 2007 incident? The only did a year in jail - maybe the parents really thought he was innocent and so had no fear for their daughter? I don't know - but if you think some dude was railroaded and yet they were convicted, and you are going to let them sleep at your house, as a parent - it is your duty to make sure your children are safe. That means either they sleep in your room or you sleep in theirs...... do not leave them unprotected.

Salem

Openmind said:

Telling me my neighbor is an offender puts the burden of management on me and everyone that encounters this person and that is not my job. If we need to confine these people in some seperate prison or institution is OK with me.

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I said almost exactly the same thing in a different thread. Agree 100%.

And while we have the burden of managing them, we are told we have no right to control their behavior.

i wouldnt kill him but i cant imagine not beating the snot out of him

Wonder how the capture and arrest happened.

I may have totally missed it but where does it say the parents knew this guy was a RSO?