One of the major issues in bullying among young people is an intolerance for diversity in sexuality in gender. What can be done about this?
I read an interesting paper recently that said the term "gaybashing" should give way to the term "genderbashing." This idea is based on the idea that many instances of violence against gays, lesbians and bisexuals is actually due to the mob mentality's desire to police gender boundaries - that is, not because they actually see a man having sexual contact with another male, but because they see a male who doesn't fit in with their idea of what a male should be. This author felt that "gaybashing" should apply only when the mob was responding to witnessing an actual homosexual act. The importance here is that sexuality is not the same thing as gender, and not only homosexuals can be "genderbashed" - the victims just act in ways the in-crowd feels is outside the norms of their assigned gender/sex, regardless of their actual sexual preference.
This does not in any way diminish the hatred directed towards the LGBTQ community. Nor am I suggesting that even if this violence was "merely" directed at LGBTQ persons would it be ok. I am trying simply to point out that this is a much larger issue than just an intolerance for sexual preferences - it reaches deeply into how we gender-train our children and how narrowly we allow children to define their sexuality and gender. And how these narrow definitions are not only causing them insecurity but inspiring violence amongst our kids and youths.
So, after that long preamble... why is it that kids and young people can't accept people who act outside these norms? What, as parents, are we doing to impress upon them that only people with short hair and blue clothes, for example, are "real boys," and why do they feel the need to harass boys who fall outside this narrow definition?
Why do challenges to gender norms inspire such venom?
I think we as parents need to monitor how we talk about these things in front of our kids - do we criticize or make fun of people based on these things? (Do we call women we don't like "butch" or "*advertiser censored*," for example? Do we call our sons "wimps" if they cry more than we'd like?)
I think gender norms are amongst the most common issues with bullying - either kids are bullied for being too "girly" (boys) or too "butch" (girls), or for girls who are seen as too sexually aggressive or boys who don't seek to conquer every female they spot. Kids who express themselves outside society's acceptable boundaries can be put through hell.
Any thoughts?
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Citation for the article referenced can be found here:
http://www.envplan.com/abstract.cgi?id=d140221
I read an interesting paper recently that said the term "gaybashing" should give way to the term "genderbashing." This idea is based on the idea that many instances of violence against gays, lesbians and bisexuals is actually due to the mob mentality's desire to police gender boundaries - that is, not because they actually see a man having sexual contact with another male, but because they see a male who doesn't fit in with their idea of what a male should be. This author felt that "gaybashing" should apply only when the mob was responding to witnessing an actual homosexual act. The importance here is that sexuality is not the same thing as gender, and not only homosexuals can be "genderbashed" - the victims just act in ways the in-crowd feels is outside the norms of their assigned gender/sex, regardless of their actual sexual preference.
This does not in any way diminish the hatred directed towards the LGBTQ community. Nor am I suggesting that even if this violence was "merely" directed at LGBTQ persons would it be ok. I am trying simply to point out that this is a much larger issue than just an intolerance for sexual preferences - it reaches deeply into how we gender-train our children and how narrowly we allow children to define their sexuality and gender. And how these narrow definitions are not only causing them insecurity but inspiring violence amongst our kids and youths.
So, after that long preamble... why is it that kids and young people can't accept people who act outside these norms? What, as parents, are we doing to impress upon them that only people with short hair and blue clothes, for example, are "real boys," and why do they feel the need to harass boys who fall outside this narrow definition?
Why do challenges to gender norms inspire such venom?
I think we as parents need to monitor how we talk about these things in front of our kids - do we criticize or make fun of people based on these things? (Do we call women we don't like "butch" or "*advertiser censored*," for example? Do we call our sons "wimps" if they cry more than we'd like?)
I think gender norms are amongst the most common issues with bullying - either kids are bullied for being too "girly" (boys) or too "butch" (girls), or for girls who are seen as too sexually aggressive or boys who don't seek to conquer every female they spot. Kids who express themselves outside society's acceptable boundaries can be put through hell.
Any thoughts?
***
Citation for the article referenced can be found here:
http://www.envplan.com/abstract.cgi?id=d140221
May some positive end to bullying come from his death.