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  1. #1
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    What is "normal" behavior in a kidnapping?

    Since the thread "suspicious behavior of Haleigh's father" has been closed, I thought this might be an appropriate place to discuss this.

    Kim, if this isn't appropriate, just zap it!

    Something that has bothered me is the fact that when LE arrived at the MH that night, Ronald was not inside the residence, he was pacing around outside. Then, he set up a tent, and they lived in that until he moved in with his grandmother. Even after LE released the MH, and he was allowed to return, he didn't. According to his mother and his grandmother, he could not bear to go back inside. My question is, did Ronald enter the home at all that night? He said Misty met him at the front door, as he arrived home from work. I know he says they looked under beds, (beds that were sitting on the floor) but, I have my doubts that he ever went inside! Why wouldn't he want to look at his daughter's toys, where she left them the last time she played with them? Lay in her bed, and smell her scent, one last time. These actions seem to say, he knows what happened inside that MH and he knows his daughter was dead before she was carried out.
    Maybe, I'm just different, but I would think of the good times that happened before that night, and the memories of her last days. Heck, when we moved into our new home, I took down my girls closet doors and replaced them with new ones, because I had marked their heights on those doors. It would be hard for me to move away, because I would have it in the back of my mind that she could be held nearby, and could possibly escape and come home. This just isn't consistent with believing your child has been kidnapped.

  2. #2
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    I guess you look at people's who truly had kidnapped children - the Smarts, Jessica Lunsford's dad, Polly Klaas' dad to name a few - to see what "normal" behavior is.

    I guess one common denominator is a complete willingness to cooperate with police.

  3. #3
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    Well, to some extent I think that there is no normal in such extreme situations. There are many ways to grieve and hold on to hope and people are different, and two abductions might not be the same.

    I remember many cases where the parents have lived in the same house for decades and kept the same phone number, hoping against all hope that their child would come back some day, and it seems to me that never returning is rare and suspicious somehow.

    But then again, it might be different if your child has been taken at the mall or while playing outside or if the abductor broke in at night. Supposing someone really abducted Haleigh from the home, while her sitter was sleeping a feet away, without leaving signs of forced entry... I think I would move the heck out... I just couldn't feel safe letting my other child sleep in that house ever again. What if they come and take him too?

    But that was never the reason Ronald gave for moving out. They said he couldn't bear to face the memories of Haleigh.

    Had he been fired from PDM yet? Maybe it was just that money was running low and the rent was due and it was cheaper to live with Granny with the added bonus of having Granny as a live-in sitter. If a father has no idea what happened and has any suspicions of the last person to see his child he might want another adult there to make sure his other child won't be hurt.

    Again, not the reason they stated... on the contrary, Misty was the best caretaker ever.

  4. #4
    watchinginky's Avatar
    watchinginky is offline Please let today be the day they find HaLeigh
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    I think "normal" behavior would be NOT moving out of the MH. That was HaLeigh's home. If she were truly kidnapped and possibly released or escaped from her captors, I would think she would go back to her house.

    How devesting would it be to a small child to return to their home and not find their mommy and/or daddy there?

    The actions of the players in this case speak very loudly....IMO.

    "Stop acting like a two-year old".
    Jose Baez to Casey Anthony during jury selection

  5. #5
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    Truth.
    A timeline that holds up under scrutiny.
    Cooperation.
    Freaking out.
    Worry.
    Fear.
    Truth.
    Tears.
    Anxiety.
    Depression.
    Eventual acceptance.
    A struggle to move forward, but effort made.
    Truth.

  6. #6
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    I don't understand when people say "normal" behavior. Everyone reacts differently to situations and who is to say what normal is? I mean for example I work in a sheriffs office and I see and hear a lot and people tend to act differently about certain things but what is exactly the right way to act? The way I think I would react some people may think I was going insane and I would probably have to be sedated. Then again I wake up when my DD feet the floor to go to bathroom.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by crangel View Post
    I don't understand when people say "normal" behavior. Everyone reacts differently to situations and who is to say what normal is? I mean for example I work in a sheriffs office and I see and hear a lot and people tend to act differently about certain things but what is exactly the right way to act? The way I think I would react some people may think I was going insane and I would probably have to be sedated. Then again I wake up when my DD feet the floor to go to bathroom.
    I don't think there is one right way to act. When something huge happens it's pretty normal in some senses of the word to act like one's going insane.

    Normal is a tough word, you'd have to define it to have a meaningful conversation. Does it mean the norm, the expected response, the right response, what everybody should do, what is healthy, what is acceptable, what is statistically frequent, what is considered ordinary, what is considered a sane person's response, what would Jesus do, what do I think I would do, what do I think I would never do...?

    In this context I think the useful thing is to look at patterns. Are there things that parents who turned out to be innocent had in common? Are there things that they almost never have done? Are there things that are more frequently done by parents who later got arrested?

  8. #8
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    I would have to stay put, until I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that my child couldn't come looking for me. I'd have a security system installed ASAP, and whatever else it took to keep my other child safe. Under no circumstance, would my phone ring, and me not answer it. My heart would jump out of my chest every time the phone rang, hoping it was my daughter, or someone calling to give me information about her. That's my "normal."

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by crangel View Post
    I don't understand when people say "normal" behavior. Everyone reacts differently to situations and who is to say what normal is? I mean for example I work in a sheriffs office and I see and hear a lot and people tend to act differently about certain things but what is exactly the right way to act? The way I think I would react some people may think I was going insane and I would probably have to be sedated. Then again I wake up when my DD feet the floor to go to bathroom.
    I feel the same way. Different people react different ways. And in such a "wrong" situation, I don't know that there is a "right" way to act. No matter what, there's going to be people who criticize what a person says/ does.

    The one thing I would think would be the "right" behavior would be to be helpful to the investigation, even if all you could do was stay out of the way when you were asked to do so.

  10. #10
    LoveEndsWar's Avatar
    LoveEndsWar is offline When someone is missing it is everyones business.
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    It sure as heck isn't getting a criminal defense attorney.Period.


  11. #11
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    I've seen other family members of children that have gone missing show up on NG, GVS, JVM, etc, but normally they are shown via satellite. This crowd was flying around to be on different shows. Shouldn't you be home looking for your child? I know it's important to keep a kidnapped victim's face in the news, but these two acted like they were on vacation.
    My next door neighbor's grandson was just killed in a car accident in Texas. (two weeks ago) The father is visiting with his parents for a few days. He just told me yesterday, that everywhere he went in his small town, everybody knew him, because of this. He said something that I think is very appropriate. Through his tears he said, it's like being famous, for all the wrong reasons. That's the actions and thoughts of a real grieving father!

  12. #12
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    I think normal behavior after a kidnapping, would depend on 'normal 'behavior, before the kidnapping. & with these people, that's hard to determine, because their drug lifestyles muddy up the waters, so much. Your average parent would be an open book, after a kidnapping, but someone with a lot of criminal activity to hide, might not be so open. I would hope that they could, for the sake of their child, put their self worries aside, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

  13. #13
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    I forgot to mention that his son was only 7 years old. This was such a tragedy! The father, sister and the son would visit here for 2 weeks every year. These sweet kids would bring their little dog over to visit my "Maggie." This has just broken my heart! The father was driving, and you know how he must feel! Even though he was not at fault, it bothers the heck out of him. For those of you in Texas, there was to be a full page ad taken out in several newspapers regarding the car that caused the accident, and then left the scene. Two people were killed in a second car, as well as my neighbor's grandson. Be looking for the ad.

  14. #14
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    I don't think I can blame anybody for just moving even if they have a missing child. People have many reasons for needing to, wanting to or having to move and those reasons don't necessarily go away just because there's been a tragedy in the family.

    It's mostly a futile hope anyway. If it was a nine, ten, twelve-years old who disappeared he might possibly know his way home years later, but even they don't return miraculously like that very often. Realistically, what are the odds of a five-year-old making it home on her own if it's gone more time than she could possibly have hidden in a forest or a shed nearby and stayed alive? If the child was abducted she could have been taken anywhere and if she managed to escape she probably wouldn't know how to walk home on her own unless the abductor kept her almost next door. It is certainly possible but becomes less probable if the whole neighborhood has been searched and searched again. If a lot of time goes by the child may even forget what her home even looked like or what her address was. And even if she got home somehow, hopefully any adult she encountered would be able to contact 911 or the nearest LE station for her and they in turn could get her in contact with her family.

    In Haleigh's case, it's just that the reasons the Cummings gave for not moving back were the sort that made me to go hmm...I can't really blame them for not waiting there for Haleigh to come back because let's face it, the chances are it's not going to happen. But I couldn't help wondering if it was the good memories of happy times he couldn't face or the bad memories of whatever went wrong. They seemed to be moving on very fast which was suggestive considering that from the beginning Ronald had said some things indicating he had given up all hope that she could have been alive and that he thought she was dead.
    Last edited by Donjeta; 04-05-2010 at 04:44 PM.

  15. #15
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    Living in the tent was so the family could see and hear what was going on without being seen. Like kids hiding in a tent from adults. IMO
    Then never wanting to go back to MH says to me that RC thought
    A. place was bugged
    B. ghosts of Haleigh spooked big guy RC.
    C. RC was scared to go back
    Did MC/RC/TN/GGS ever hang on to Haleeigh's things?
    like clothes? Teddy bears? dolls? treasures?
    or did they pitch them in the trash?

    Personally I would stay for all hope she could come back, IMO, RC KNEW she wasn't coming back............
    Kyron, HALEIGH, ADJI & Gabriel NEEDS PRAYERS NOW TO FIND THEM!. Zahra & Jonathan in heaven
    Justice for Hailey!!!!
    No Justice for Caylee Marie..........

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