Amber Dubois' mother confronts mother of John Albert Gardner III

darlin gal · #1 05-11-2010, 09:44 PM

The mother of slain Escondido teenager Amber Dubois was on Tuesday night again rebuffed in her attempt to visit her daughter's killer in a downtown San Diego jail. Carrie McGonigle asked the mother of John Albert Gardner III to give up her visiting time Tuesday so McGonigle could meet with Gardner before his sentencing on Friday.

Gardner's mother began crying, but entered the jail lobby without speaking to McGonigle. Visiting hours on Tuesday were McGonigle's last chance to face her daughter's killer before Friday.
Gardner admitted to raping and killing Amber shortly after abducting her on Feb. 14, 2009. He has also admitted to the rape and murder of Poway teenager Chelsea King, on Feb. 25, 2010. Friday, he will receive two consecutive life sentences without the possiblity of parole for these crimes.

Nancy2441 · #2 05-12-2010, 12:23 AM

Carrie is awesome! I admire her determination to not let Gardner or his mother off the hook. She called him out for not meeting with her, as he said he would, and showed him for the coward he is. I pray that someday, somehow the Dubois & King families will be able to find peace in their lives. My prayers go out to them on Friday as I am sure it will be a very emotional and difficult time.

Nancy2441 · #3 05-12-2010, 04:15 AM

From Channel 10 news: Includes video

http://www.10news.com/news/23525372/detail.html

When asked if she had anything to say to McGonigle, Gardner’s sister said, “No comment. Leave my mom alone. You don’t even know!”

DairyGirl · #4 05-12-2010, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy2441

From Channel 10 news: Includes video

http://www.10news.com/news/23525372/detail.html

When asked if she had anything to say to McGonigle, Gardner’s sister said, “No comment. Leave my mom alone. You don’t even know!”

Those people are evil. If my child did what Gardner did I would be begging forgiveness and have nothing but compassion for the victims. These people are acting like they ARE the victims. They should have allowed Amber's mom the chance to get the answers Gardner promised instead of being selfish. Why on earth would they even want to visit such a monster? As soon as I learned what he had done I would have been done with him.

Nancy2441 · #5 05-12-2010, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy2441

From Channel 10 news: Includes video

http://www.10news.com/news/23525372/detail.html

When asked if she had anything to say to McGonigle, Gardner’s sister said, “No comment. Leave my mom alone. You don’t even know!”

The above was a direct quote from the channel 10 news article. Leave it to the media to get it wrong again. I think Carrie was civil with these women. I didn't see her acting in a way that was aggressive or threatening. I think it was a missed opportunity for Gardner's family to show some compassion and humanity towards his victims family by simply acknowledging the pain & suffering caused by their brother and son.

MCDRAW · #6 05-12-2010, 01:58 PM

I feel sorry for Amber's mom...she will never get real answers from Gardener. He wouldn't have met with her even if his Mom and sister had given up their time. He would have just gotten up and walked out. From what we know his Mom didn't make the best choices for him but we don't know everything. I think I wouldn't visit him if he were my son but that is easy to think because he isn't my son. I can't think of anything that would make me not love my son. I can think of a ton of things that would make me not like him. I hope I am never in that situation. As far as Amber's Mom, she might as well let that go or she will go insane. Gardender will never tell her what she wants to know. He will never tell her the truth. JMO

alsmom · #7 05-12-2010, 02:25 PM

I haven't commented before, but I don't think Amber's mom is ever going to get what she wants/needs/deserves. Nothing is going to bring Amber back. I've thought a few times in my life that I needed details in a wrenching situation to set my heart at rest and when I got them I felt worse than ever. How do experts in the psychiatric field feel about this?

Nancy2441 · #8 05-12-2010, 03:21 PM

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/loca...-93532054.html

STEADFAST · #9 05-12-2010, 03:59 PM

I saw the tape on the news this morning of Gardner's mom and sister coming into and out of the jail. (It's also on the tape below.)

The sister walked by Amber's mom and said, "We're sorry. We're sorry." Amber's mom then walked up and blocked the path of Gardner's mom and whoever it was walking with his mom did push her away from the woman and tell her to quit harrassing them. While they were inside, she told the press they were selfish. When they came out, his sister did not say, “No comment. Leave my mom alone. You don’t even know!” She said, "We're sorry. We're sorry beyond . . . (voice breaking) you don't even know." That is very different.
I understand Amber's mom's anger, but taking it out on these women is not helping anything. She is right that Gardner is too cowardly face her.

I'm not trying to defend Gardner in any way, but I just think it should be noted that these women did not treat her badly or defend her daughter's murderer.

Curious Me · #10 05-12-2010, 04:24 PM

Carrie McGonigle is courageous in a battle that would break anyone's spirit. I pray for her to continue to have strength, and to hold on to her faith. It seems cruel now not to give her a chance to talk to Gardner if it will help her get some closure.

I thought Carrie McGonigle was straight forward with Gardner's Mother and Sister. They are looking very afraid. How do they know what anyone will do to even them? Remember the garage door? After fleeing in fear, I only hope that Gardner's mother immediately started trying to figure out how to help Carrie get a chance to talk to Gardner. It would be a kind gesture if she could arrange something.

LadyL · #11 05-12-2010, 05:42 PM

I just watched the video and she did say "leave my mom alone" to the press

mysticrose · #12 05-12-2010, 05:44 PM

Frankly I dont even know why his family would want to visit him ? Could you imagine having to try and look him in the face after knowing what he did and admitted to it ! There is know way I could do that, I am afraid that person would be dead to me ....moo

LadyL · #13 05-12-2010, 05:47 PM

ok, I know where the confusion lies - there are two different videos from different angles that we're looking at

LadyL · #14 05-12-2010, 05:57 PM

if that were my son, I would definately want to visit him - to look him in the face and try to reconcile for myself that I raised a murderer - to ask him why, to look for some kind of remorse in his face, and perhaps to say goodbye and to express my own devastation b/c of his crimes

Amber's mom seems remarkably in control of herself - I doubt I'd have the guts to do that and I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't have the courage/desire to face Gardner - he creeps me the heck out

I feel for both families - the horror is unimaginable
they both want answers

Nancy2441 · #15 05-12-2010, 06:19 PM

Gardner will have to face the families in court on Friday:

Confessed killer John Albert Gardner III is facing life behind bars, but first he must face one of his victims and the family of two others in court Friday.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2...port-released/

KALI · #16 05-12-2010, 06:33 PM

This video shows more of what went down before and after.

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/loca...-93532054.html

smart blonde · #17 05-12-2010, 07:12 PM

He should be forced to meet with Carrie, and answer any questions that Carrie has. And then, he should be executed. No... he should be tortured, and then executed. Because, he tortured (rape is torture) Carrie's daughter, and then 'executed' Amber. And now, he continues to torture Carrie, Amber's mother.

It is so unfair that he is allowed to visit with his family, after he made sure Amber's family will never be able to visit with, hold, touch, hug, comfort Amber again. They just spent the longest, most agonizing year, wondering, worrying, sick with fear over where Amber could be. Who took her? Where is she? Is she alive? Is she in pain? Is she scared, is she being brave? Does she realize we are looking for her? Does she know how much we love her/When will we have answers? Will I be able to hold her, touch her, ever again?

I'm the mother of an only child, a daughter. I have nothing but respect and compassion for Carrie, Amber's mom. Carrie was s desperate and determined to find and rescue her daughter, she was doing actual stake-outs outside local sex offender's homes. Gardner was one of them- but she couldn't have known which one to follow and concentrate on, because there were too many. My heart aches for what Carrie has been through, is going through, will always be be going through.

I think the laws should be changed. I think if convicted of kidnapping, rape and murder of a minor, such as Amber, the convicted should lose all contact with the outside world. No visitation or letters to/from family. No interviews with the press (like he just recently gave over the phone). No audience whatsoever.

But really, he should be executed.

When I find a spider in my home, I grab a sheet of notebook paper, and do everything I can to get it to climb onto the paper so I can quickly carry it outside so I don't kill it. Spiders creep me out, but I can't bring myself to kill them.

Yet, if necessary, I would be comfortable flipping the switch on Gardener, with my own hand. Give me the needle full of the death fluid that will stop his heart, and I will gladly plunge it into his vein.

If what he has done to these girls, to these families, to these communities doesn't warrant the death penalty, then by God, what does?