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Bullying Using intimidation to make someone do what you want, or to ruin someone's reputation by lying and deceipt - two examples of the cruelty of bullying.


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Old 05-24-2012, 10:27 AM
Cubby Cubby is offline
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Originally Posted by Nova View Post
Maybe it's because the Dateline (or 48 Hours) I watched was somewhat sympathic to Ravi, but I'm neither surprised nor upset by the sentencing.

The sad fact is that "privacy" has little meaning to young people today (thanks to social media and reality TV). In that context, many of Ravi's actions were thoughtless and stupid, but not necessarily malicious.

And the dead kid was not only securing dates on the internet, but bringing them to his dorm for all to see. Now I AM NOT BLAMING HIM FOR DOING SO, but it does cast doubt on whether Ravi's intrusion into his roommate's privacy was really the cause of the suicide.

And as others have pointed out, Ravi wasn't actually charged with causing a death.

As it is, it's 30 days in jail, 300 hours of community service (almost another 2 months) plus over $10 grand in fines. And he will always be an ex-con.

Maybe it isn't perfect justice, but it's not exactly getting off scot-free.


Nova, I almost always see your point and respect your pov, even if I don't always agree with it. In this case, I do not understand why you see Ravi's behavior as non-malicious.

The fact is promiscuity in college, regardless of sexual orientation, is nothing new and has been a fact of life long before social networking and reality tv shows came into play. What Ravi did, he did for kicks. To get a laugh and to make fun of someone with an invitation to others to join him in that kick. An invasion of what someone does in bed and to deliberately broadcast it, in no way can be seen as non-malicious.

The utter lack of respect for his fellow human kind is something learned at home. It has zero to do with social media or reality tv shows.

I'm going to make a comment here, respectfully, but I think your judgement regarding Ravi's behavior being seen as non-malicious stems from your being conservative and believing in monogamy. A single committed relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that. As a never married single mother of a 9.5 yr old, I've been abstinant for 10 years or so and choose not to date until my son is at min in HS. If ever, as I am very content being single and would be quite happy without a partner.

That said, regardless of how many bed partners someone chooses, it is a malicious violation of privacy of the worst kind, imo, to record and broadcast anyone's sexual activity across the WWW without their permission. I see his behavior as no different than setting up a web can in a public bathroom, or anywhere else someone is unaware.

Ravi is a sick immoral human being. He won't learn from this, he'll finish his lame sentence and go back to repeating the same self serving infantile disrespectful behavior.


I hope immigration overrides the judges recommendation in this case. There are too many law abiding respectful immigrants making positive contributions to this country who are hoping to stay.
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Last edited by Cubby; 05-24-2012 at 10:44 AM.
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  #777  
Old 05-24-2012, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
Nova, I almost always see your point and respect your pov, even if I don't always agree with it. In this case, I do not understand why you see Ravi's behavior as non-malicious.

The fact is promiscuity in college, regardless of sexual orientation, is nothing new and has been a fact of life long before social networking and reality tv shows came into play. What Ravi did, he did for kicks. To get a laugh and to make fun of someone with an invitation to others to join him in that kick. An invasion of what someone does in bed and to deliberately broadcast it, in no way can be seen as non-malicious.

The utter lack of respect for his fellow human kind is something learned at home. It has zero to do with social media or reality tv shows.

I'm going to make a comment here, respectfully, but I think your judgement regarding Ravi's behavior being seen as non-malicious stems from your being conservative and believing in monogamy. A single committed relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that. As a never married single mother of a 9.5 yr old, I've been abstinant for 10 years or so and choose not to date until my son is at min in HS. If ever, as I am very content being single and would be quite happy without a partner.

That said, regardless of how many bed partners someone chooses, it is a malicious violation of privacy of the worst kind, imo, to record and broadcast anyone's sexual activity across the WWW without their permission. I see his behavior as no different than setting up a web can in a public bathroom, or anywhere else someone is unaware.

Ravi is a sick immoral human being. He won't learn from this, he'll finish his lame sentence and go back to repeating the same self serving infantile disrespectful behavior.


I hope immigration overrides the judges recommendation in this case. There are too many law abiding respectful immigrants making positive contributions to this country who are hoping to stay.
BBM.
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Old 05-24-2012, 09:25 PM
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The Middlesex County Prosecutor’s Office has appealed Dharun Ravi’s short jail sentence, which means the former Rutgers student’s won’t begin serving time at the end of this month — or anytime soon, a court official said today.

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...middlesex.html
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Old 05-25-2012, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by zippitydoda View Post
The Middlesex County Prosecutor’s Office has appealed Dharun Ravi’s short jail sentence, which means the former Rutgers student’s won’t begin serving time at the end of this month — or anytime soon, a court official said today.

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...middlesex.html
Thanks for the update. We will now just have to wait and see if Ravi gets some more of the justice that Tyler deserves. IMHO, Berman gave way to far below any minimum sentence in the guidelines. While the pre-sentencing report said he was good for a no-prison-time sentence, common sense says it takes more than a month in jail and 3 years probation.
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Old 05-29-2012, 06:26 PM
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Dharun Ravi apologizes for 'childish choices,' plans to head to jail

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/29/justic...ss_igoogle_cnn
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:17 PM
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Dharun Ravi apologizes for first time, will turn himself in Thursday

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...s_to_jail.html

"I accept responsibility for and regret my thoughtless, insensitive, immature, stupid and childish choices that I made on September 19, 2010 and September 21, 2010," he said. "My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, were nonetheless the wrong choices and decisions. I apologize to everyone affected by those choices."
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Old 05-30-2012, 12:08 AM
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Originally Posted by KaraKitty View Post
Dharun Ravi apologizes for 'childish choices,' plans to head to jail

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/29/justic...ss_igoogle_cnn
Gee, how big of him, NOT!!! Too little, too late. 30 days in jail is nothing in my book for what he did. Nothing will bring back Tyler, or the bullying he felt because of Ravi's actions!
I also disagree that his actions were not motivated by "hate, bigotry, or prejudice"- it was clear to me that he hated gays.
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
Nova, I almost always see your point and respect your pov, even if I don't always agree with it. In this case, I do not understand why you see Ravi's behavior as non-malicious.

The fact is promiscuity in college, regardless of sexual orientation, is nothing new and has been a fact of life long before social networking and reality tv shows came into play. What Ravi did, he did for kicks. To get a laugh and to make fun of someone with an invitation to others to join him in that kick. An invasion of what someone does in bed and to deliberately broadcast it, in no way can be seen as non-malicious.

The utter lack of respect for his fellow human kind is something learned at home. It has zero to do with social media or reality tv shows.

I'm going to make a comment here, respectfully, but I think your judgement regarding Ravi's behavior being seen as non-malicious stems from your being conservative and believing in monogamy. A single committed relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that. As a never married single mother of a 9.5 yr old, I've been abstinant for 10 years or so and choose not to date until my son is at min in HS. If ever, as I am very content being single and would be quite happy without a partner.

That said, regardless of how many bed partners someone chooses, it is a malicious violation of privacy of the worst kind, imo, to record and broadcast anyone's sexual activity across the WWW without their permission. I see his behavior as no different than setting up a web can in a public bathroom, or anywhere else someone is unaware.

Ravi is a sick immoral human being. He won't learn from this, he'll finish his lame sentence and go back to repeating the same self serving infantile disrespectful behavior.

I hope immigration overrides the judges recommendation in this case. There are too many law abiding respectful immigrants making positive contributions to this country who are hoping to stay.

Excellent post, Cubby...and I agree wholeheartedly...

BBM are the high points are should be driven home to DR, a self serving, narcisist, who is selfish and quite immature. Being immature does not give him the right to mortify, humiliate or disrespect another human being. I wonder how he would feel if he was on the other end of this? If Tyler did this to him, what would he do...

I've learned in this world in order to get along with others, you must treat others as you would want to be treated. Same goes for respect...

DR is an emotionless, cold hearted, self serving narcisist and I truly hope the appelate court will over ride that insulting 30 day sentence giving him at least 5 years. His punishment did not add up to the crime he committed against two human beings. Tyler might have had other things going on in his life but what DR did, was the straw that broke that camels back..

Tyler might have saw no way out and couldn't recover from being made the laughing stock of Rutgers. How humiliating for Tyler...being gay in America you encounter bigots like DR all the time, so he should be made an example of so that it's known the US will not tolerate this behavior...

Zero tolerance for bullying, spying..that is not how America works..and as much as I hate to say it, Homeland Security will be there to deport this guy, once he is given a real prison sentence..The judge was overly lenient but the jury spoke volumes..He needs to do at least 5 years and then send him back to his country..He doesn't appreciate life in the United States..and this isn't all about the Ravi family...even as they spoke to the court, it too was self serving and all about their son. Not once did I hear them apologize to the Clementi's on the loss of their son...it was all about the Ravi family and what they lost, yet they don't acknowledge that Tyler is gone forever, his family will never get to hug or kiss him again, ever in this lifetime...


Buh Bye Ravi...the appellate courts will do what this judge failed to, or at least have you resentenced by another judge who will do what Berman failed to do...
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
Nova, I almost always see your point and respect your pov, even if I don't always agree with it. In this case, I do not understand why you see Ravi's behavior as non-malicious.

The fact is promiscuity in college, regardless of sexual orientation, is nothing new and has been a fact of life long before social networking and reality tv shows came into play. What Ravi did, he did for kicks. To get a laugh and to make fun of someone with an invitation to others to join him in that kick. An invasion of what someone does in bed and to deliberately broadcast it, in no way can be seen as non-malicious.

The utter lack of respect for his fellow human kind is something learned at home. It has zero to do with social media or reality tv shows.

I'm going to make a comment here, respectfully, but I think your judgement regarding Ravi's behavior being seen as non-malicious stems from your being conservative and believing in monogamy. A single committed relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that. As a never married single mother of a 9.5 yr old, I've been abstinant for 10 years or so and choose not to date until my son is at min in HS. If ever, as I am very content being single and would be quite happy without a partner.

That said, regardless of how many bed partners someone chooses, it is a malicious violation of privacy of the worst kind, imo, to record and broadcast anyone's sexual activity across the WWW without their permission. I see his behavior as no different than setting up a web can in a public bathroom, or anywhere else someone is unaware.

Ravi is a sick immoral human being. He won't learn from this, he'll finish his lame sentence and go back to repeating the same self serving infantile disrespectful behavior.


I hope immigration overrides the judges recommendation in this case. There are too many law abiding respectful immigrants making positive contributions to this country who are hoping to stay.
Both qualify for

It's funny how he comes out and apologizes while the prosecution is appealing his sentence.
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Old 05-30-2012, 10:34 AM
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Dharun Ravi cleared to start serving sentence Thursday in Rutgers spy case

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crim...#ixzz1wMbh9u5b

Judge Glenn Berman also used the hearing to defend his sentence against those who believed it to be too lenient.
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:00 AM
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DR is one lucky SOB...this judge who is very thoughtful to not give him the 5 yr minimum the prosecution requested due to prison and who is housed in prisons...Murderers, rapists and armed robbers...I believe knowing DR is a weakling, afeminate this judge knew if he'd been placed in state prison, DR would become a victim....I believe His Honor had in the back of his mind, that DR would more than likely be the target of rape/assault...as the judge stated, he didn't think DR's crime was hate motivated and legislation didn't take into consideration a non violent act, such as DR committed..so, I'm now doubtful the Appellate Court would do what this judge failed too...DR needs to thank his lucky starts...
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Old 05-31-2012, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Cubby View Post
Nova, I almost always see your point and respect your pov, even if I don't always agree with it. In this case, I do not understand why you see Ravi's behavior as non-malicious.

The fact is promiscuity in college, regardless of sexual orientation, is nothing new and has been a fact of life long before social networking and reality tv shows came into play. What Ravi did, he did for kicks. To get a laugh and to make fun of someone with an invitation to others to join him in that kick. An invasion of what someone does in bed and to deliberately broadcast it, in no way can be seen as non-malicious.

The utter lack of respect for his fellow human kind is something learned at home. It has zero to do with social media or reality tv shows.

I'm going to make a comment here, respectfully, but I think your judgement regarding Ravi's behavior being seen as non-malicious stems from your being conservative and believing in monogamy. A single committed relationship, and there is nothing wrong with that. As a never married single mother of a 9.5 yr old, I've been abstinant for 10 years or so and choose not to date until my son is at min in HS. If ever, as I am very content being single and would be quite happy without a partner.

That said, regardless of how many bed partners someone chooses, it is a malicious violation of privacy of the worst kind, imo, to record and broadcast anyone's sexual activity across the WWW without their permission. I see his behavior as no different than setting up a web can in a public bathroom, or anywhere else someone is unaware.

Ravi is a sick immoral human being. He won't learn from this, he'll finish his lame sentence and go back to repeating the same self serving infantile disrespectful behavior.


I hope immigration overrides the judges recommendation in this case. There are too many law abiding respectful immigrants making positive contributions to this country who are hoping to stay.
Cubby, I didn't see your post until just now. I certainly didn't mean to ignore it.

First, I promise you that I have absolutely no problem with people who have sex while they are single or those who create open marriages. As long as it's honest behavior between consenting adults, it's fine by me. It's true that my husband and I have found that monogamy works for us, but I don't for a moment think our relationship is superior to those that are structured differently. But thanks for being the first person to call me "conservative" in about 40 years. LOL.

My opinion in this case is based on two factors:

1. Clementi was openly gay and quite open about bringing a male guest to his room for sex. So to that extent, he wasn't worried about privacy. All Ravi did was add video, which was wrong, but not exactly "news".

2. Clementi and Ravi's generation have very loose standards for privacy. "Sexting" is rampant and cast members have sex on TV on BIG BROTHER, THE REAL WORLD and JERSEY SHORE. I know you think this is irrelevant, but such shows are the ones that define what is appropriate video content. In that context, Ravi's main "crime" was neglecting to get a permission slip signed by Clementi.

Ravi was still wrong to share video without his roommate's consent, of course, and he is now a convicted felon for doing so. His sentence is consistent with what he would have gotten had his victim not committed suicide and, in fact, Ravi was not charged with causing that death.

But I promise you I am not blaming Clementi for having a sexual encounter in a dorm room. I had a few of those myself when I was his age.

(ETA when you say Ravi was just filming secretly "for kicks", that is the opposite of malice, at least as the word is used by the general population. I'm not entirely convinced Ravi would have acted differently if Clementi's guest had been a young woman. Still would have been wrong, of course.)
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Old 05-31-2012, 07:32 PM
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I have decided that DR should have a LIVE WEB CAM on him 24/7 while he is in jail for those 30 days.
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Old 06-01-2012, 03:08 AM
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I don't think a long jail sentence was ever on the cards. While these two were antagonistic towards each other, it did not rise to the level of a hate crime.

We know that Clementi was referring to Ravi in racist terms in personal messages to other people. You don't use that sort of language unless you have disrespect for someone else simply beacuse of their racial origins. Someone who is unbiased would never do it under any circumstances, particularly someone from a liberal background. Clementi also set up his second encounter within 2 days of the first, why on earth would he do that after the first incident knowing that it would have been extremely provocative at that time? He was not a stupid guy, he would have known there would be a confontation if the first situation had not been amicably resolved. IMO he was trying to be provocative, basically to get Ravi kicked out of his room so that a more "suitable" roommate could be found. So I think that there was a lot of tension between these two, and both were expressing it in a crude manner.

Why would Clementi go and kill himself? I think the real nature of the discussion they had after the second incident got blunt about their relationship. I think the problem was that Clementi tried to set up the incident to cause a disturbance that would result in Ravi being kicked out, then it got out of hand. At some point he must have realized that he was in an impossible situation, he had to do something or be publically shamed. On the other hand if he pressed the issue he risked being exposed as a racist. For someone with his lifestyle and planned profession, that would have had serious effects, it was a lose/lose situation. And that is what he couldn't deal with.

Frankly I don't think that either of these two are likeable, but whatever they did, though biased, did not rise to the level of a hate crime.
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Old 06-01-2012, 08:48 AM
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On the other hand if he pressed the issue he risked being exposed as a racist. For someone with his lifestyle and planned profession, that would have had serious effects, it was a lose/lose situation.
His lifestyle? Are you implying homosexuals can't be racist? Sounds like an ugly stereotype to me. I have met some VERY racist gay men, some are even staunch Republicans. Hunting, fishing, gun racks on the back of pick-up trucks, the whole 9 yards.
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Old 06-01-2012, 10:42 AM
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I don't think a long jail sentence was ever on the cards. While these two were antagonistic towards each other, it did not rise to the level of a hate crime.

Frankly I don't think that either of these two are likeable, but whatever they did, though biased, did not rise to the level of a hate crime.
I totally agree. I don't think Ravi is the evil person some are trying to make out to be. That's my opinion.
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Old 06-01-2012, 11:11 AM
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I totally agree. I don't think Ravi is the evil person some are trying to make out to be. That's my opinion.
He might not be evil, but I certainly don't think he is very nice. Just because "sexting" might be rampant in that generation, doesn't mean they should be allowed to be "sexting" private personal information about someone else without consent.
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Old 06-01-2012, 01:20 PM
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He might not be evil, but I certainly don't think he is very nice. Just because "sexting" might be rampant in that generation, doesn't mean they should be allowed to be "sexting" private personal information about someone else without consent.
Sexting is illegal, personal or not. This was not sexting in any case.
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:21 PM
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Sexting is illegal, personal or not. This was not sexting in any case.
Illegal? Since when? Not that it has anything to do with this case.
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:43 PM
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Illegal? Since when? Not that it has anything to do with this case.
I think it pertains to radio waves not being a private form of communication and varys from state to state.

Sexting Laws in the United States
Federal, State Sexting Laws In Focus


While sexting might seem like innocent flirtation, the nude pictures and explicit messages you send could become grounds for a criminal record and prison time.
For teens, the consequences of sexting are the same for adults in most states, but could also prevent students from receiving college scholarships, job offers, in addition to the embarrasment of having your nude photographs floating around the Internet.

Know the laws in your state and protect yourself from serious prosecution for sexting:

http://im.about.com/od/promotingimsa...extinglaws.htm
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:54 PM
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Illegal? Since when? Not that it has anything to do with this case.
I don't want to get too OT on this thread, but sexting is illegal in many states, especially as it relates to minors.

Quickly, I can give the example of FL where it can be considered child porn and convicted criminals may be considered RSOs.

http://www.santarosasheriff.org/docu...aw_Booklet.pdf

Begins at the bottom on page 17 of the pdf file.
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Old 06-01-2012, 04:10 PM
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I don't want to get too OT on this thread, but sexting is illegal in many states, especially as it relates to minors.

Quickly, I can give the example of FL where it can be considered child porn and convicted criminals may be considered RSOs.

http://www.santarosasheriff.org/docu...aw_Booklet.pdf

Begins at the bottom on page 17 of the pdf file.
Minors are a different story.
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Old 06-02-2012, 07:06 AM
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All of the legal sites I have found say it is LEGAL among consenting adults in all states.

http://www.justanswer.com/criminal-l...ng-adults.html
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:59 PM
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Dharun Ravi says goodbye to family, reports to jail

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...bye_to_fa.html

Dressed in a navy blue T-shirt and brown jeans, Ravi was taking the first steps into his 30-day sentence, moving silently through the crowd and declining to respond to reporters’ questions. With him were his father, Ravi Pashmani, attorney Philip Nettl and two family friends, all of whom also avoided the media
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Old 06-03-2012, 12:01 AM
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Tyler Clementi's family says they are 'troubled' by judge's sentence in Dharun Ravi case

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...r_clement.html

"We have respect for Judge Berman and we appreciate the manner in which he presided over the criminal trial of Mr. Ravi. Although we do not question the sincerity of his feelings, and we have never sought harsh punishment, we are troubled by the judge's failure to impose even a short jail sentence on the severe counts of invasion of Tyler's privacy and bias crimes."
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