NJ - Sean Goldman: Abducted and living in Brazil UPDATE: Coming Home

mae said:

Lew657, it's not in the best interest of a child to be kidnapped, ripped away from his active and loving father, taken from his life and home, denied his father, denied paternal family and brainwashed. How could one argue that it is?

Intentional parental alienation and brainwashing of children is abusive. Therefore, this child has been in an abusive environment for 5 years. Would you really suggest remaining in an abusive home is beneficial to the well being of the children?

Suggesting that we allow this precedent and that the father just go there and work is heinous. First off, it's not that easy to get a job wherever you want, whenever you want, however you want--much less one that pays a living wage. Inequality is huge, as is the income gap. "Forty per cent of Brazil's population had an average monthly salary of R$163 (US$54)." You expect him to go there and to be to able to making a living?

Second, does he speak, read and write Portuguese fluently? Third, the father has a family and a life where he has long lived--as did the child before he was ripped from it without a choice. Fourth, this suggests that it's ok to steal your child and deny the other parent and that the responsibility is on the victim to manage the situation.

Fifth, if she wanted to move to Brazil, she could have gone through the appropriate channels legally and in with her then husband. However, she chose not to and she chose to break the law while also denying the father the right to see the child. This does not sound like she just wanted to move to Brazil. It's an obvious attempt to excise the biological father who was involved and wanted to be in the child's life (as illustrated by the attempt to take the bio father's name of the birth certificate!).

You are suggesting a child should be allowed to be kidnapped and the non-offending parent should just cater to the kidnapper? This blows me away. The mother did not consider the well being of the child when she kidnapped him.

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No one can undo what has already been done. It's time to look ahead soley at the best interest of the child.

The way I see it, this child was KIDNAPPED. Internationally KIDNAPPED. The mom is now dead, so she'll never receive punishment for her crime. OTOH, her parents apparently aided and abedded this crime. PERHAPS they SHOULD be in jail for their participation of this CRIME.

This is NOT an adoption. This is a KIDNAPPING. The child belongs with his REAL dad.

The step dad earns his living recovering kidnapped children for their REAL, LEGALLY CUSTODIAL parents. He's using the very laws that he uses to recover KIDNAPPED children, to keep a KIDNAPPED child because.........he wants to.

This isn't about a legal adoption. It's about an CRIMINAL, INTERNATIONAL, KIDNAPPING. The child is a U.S. citizen. He belongs with his LEGAL guardian, his dad.

JMHO
fran

Linda7NJ said:

I see nothing weird about it. The boys step father has been daddy for how long now?

I guess some people just don't understand how a person can love a child that isn't their blood. For some people that isn't even possible.

My son is adopted, *I* am his mother and I love him with every fiber of my being. I get it, I understand it.

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The step-father was married to Sean's mother for 10 months prior to her passing in August 2008. He went to the courts to have David's name removed from Sean's Brazilian birth certificate (that was registered at the consolates office)...he tried to have himself added as Sean's father. What he failed to mention to the courts was the fact that Bruna was DEAD! This guy isn't doing anything for Sean out of love....he is greedy, money hungry and is in this to WIN...period.

FWIW, my son is also adopted so I know all too well how you can love someone else's child; however, your son and mine are legally ours. Sean is David's son - no if's and's or but's about it! He was abducted to Brazil -- illegally -- unlike our sons that were LEGALLY placed with us. Joao Paulo Lins e Silva is NOTHING to Sean. He was this child's stepfather. He is now free to carry on with his party lifestyle and date other women because his only legal attachment to Sean is dead.

The fact that Sean may have a bond with his step father should have nothing to do with this case. Sean is a victim in this as well! Should he be made to remain with his kidnappers just because they are an upper class family and know how to drag things through the courts? They have lied to this precious child and you think because he has a bond with them, he should be made to stay? He had a wonderful bond with his father too, but I guess his mother and her family (and the corrupt Brazilian justice system) didn't care about that bond nor his American citizenship.

Sean has been brainwashed! Paulo Lins e Silva (the step-fathers father) has stated in speeches that when a child has experienced Parental Alienation, his/her wishes on where to remain should not be taken into account. They know only what they've been told - which unfortunately is not even half the truth!

The great thing is....Sean knows his Dad (David) loves him. He asked David to come back on Thursday morning to spend extra time with him. This is a child that deserves to know his fathers love -- each day, every day -- not just during visitation.

Linda7NJ said:

No one can undo what has already been done. It's time to look ahead soley at the best interest of the child.

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Unfortunately, you are correct - we can't undo what has been done, but we can right a wrong. And, FWIW, we are looking at the best interests of the child. He needs his father (David); he's already lost his mother. Once again, this child is suffering from mental abuse (as stated in the judges report). Do you think that just because he goes to a good private school, etc., that it outweighs the mental abuse/brainwashing that this family has put him through for the past 5 years?

fran said:

The way I see it, this child was KIDNAPPED. Internationally KIDNAPPED. The mom is now dead, so she'll never receive punishment for her crime. OTOH, her parents apparently aided and abedded this crime. PERHAPS they SHOULD be in jail for their participation of this CRIME.

This is NOT an adoption. This is a KIDNAPPING. The child belongs with his REAL dad.

The step dad earns his living recovering kidnapped children for their REAL, LEGALLY CUSTODIAL parents. He's using the very laws that he uses to recover KIDNAPPED children, to keep a KIDNAPPED child because.........he wants to.

This isn't about a legal adoption. It's about an CRIMINAL, INTERNATIONAL, KIDNAPPING. The child is a U.S. citizen. He belongs with his LEGAL guardian, his dad.

JMHO
fran

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Thank you Fran! I think it's interesting that the Lins e Silva's are one of the top law firms in Rio that represent LBP's in the Hague Convention. Yet, they are on board with the fact that it may be unconstitutional in Sean's case....why is that? Is it because it directly affects them? Nah....it's greed!

This case is a simple case of INTERNATIONAL CHILD ABDUCTION that has been DRUG through the Brazilian court system. There are more than 70 other US CHILDREN being held in the safe-haven that is Brazil.

Linda7NJ said:

I guess some people just don't understand how a person can love a child that isn't their blood. For some people that isn't even possible.

My son is adopted, *I* am his mother and I love him with every fiber of my being. I get it, I understand it.

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They get it. This description is no different than a relationship between a parent and bio child. Most parents love their children with every fiber of their being. It's not dependent on how that child came into their life.

But you are missing the point. No one is questioning the step father's love for this child. But he does does not have automatic rights to this child, nor should he and the step father should not supersede the father especially when the child was kidnapped from him! Just because he loves him does not mean he is legally entitled to custody.

And I have to say there is a difference between you choosing to legally adopt and parent your child and a step father who parents the kidnapped child by proxy (though both can and do love their children). And not just with regards to most family law. Comparing the two is not all that valid.

Linda7NJ said:

No one can undo what has already been done. It's time to look ahead soley at the best interest of the child.

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You cannot deny your past. Pretending it does not exist, pretending it's ok and ignoring it will just exacerbate the problem exponentially. I know this very well from personal experience. This child is forever damaged by what his mother did. Making it right by returning him to where he belongs would be a step in beginning to heal a child who suffers from parental alienation and is going to have to forever deal with a mother who stole him and a father who was not allowed contact and a family he was cut off from.

And who decides the best interest of the child? The people who kidnapped him, denied him his family and abused him for 5 years? Really?!? As a parent, the idea that someone espouses this belief makes me sick.

I wasn't comparing the two. I was addressing this statement:

"It is just plain WIERD that this step father wants to keep the child. When I first heard of this story, my thought was there may have been some abuse - why would a grown man want to fight to keep another man's child? The Grandparent angle makes sense. If the step-parent is not molesting this child, that is the only explanation that makes any sense."

I am not saying no crime was committed either.

I believe..... if the boy views his step father as his father...he is indeed the boy's psychological father. Ripping him away and sending him "home" to the USA with his biological father will cause irreparable harm. IMO

You and everyone else are free to disagree with me.

The child deserves a say and I believe he has the right to be heard. I would rather the child remain where he is for now, have frequent visits with his biological father and have mandatory therapy BEFORE and decision is made about where he is to live.

fran said:

The way I see it, this child was KIDNAPPED. Internationally KIDNAPPED. The mom is now dead, so she'll never receive punishment for her crime. OTOH, her parents apparently aided and abedded this crime. PERHAPS they SHOULD be in jail for their participation of this CRIME.

This is NOT an adoption. This is a KIDNAPPING. The child belongs with his REAL dad.

The step dad earns his living recovering kidnapped children for their REAL, LEGALLY CUSTODIAL parents. He's using the very laws that he uses to recover KIDNAPPED children, to keep a KIDNAPPED child because.........he wants to.

This isn't about a legal adoption. It's about an CRIMINAL, INTERNATIONAL, KIDNAPPING. The child is a U.S. citizen. He belongs with his LEGAL guardian, his dad.

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Exactly.

Bree0372 said:

Thank you Fran! I think it's interesting that the Lins e Silva's are one of the top law firms in Rio that represent LBP's in the Hague Convention. Yet, they are on board with the fact that it may be unconstitutional in Sean's case....why is that? Is it because it directly affects them? Nah....it's greed!

This case is a simple case of INTERNATIONAL CHILD ABDUCTION that has been DRUG through the Brazilian court system. There are more than 70 other US CHILDREN being held in the safe-haven that is Brazil.

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I echo both your posts, Bree, and Fran. You are exactly right. Thanks for your fantastic thoughts on this subject. You both reiterate the point that this is an international kidnapping, as well as the details about the stepfather's connection with international family law.

mae said:

You cannot deny your past. Pretending it does not exist, pretending it's ok and ignoring it will just exacerbate the problem exponentially. I know this very well from personal experience. This child is forever damaged by what his mother did. Making it right by returning him to where he belongs would be a step in beginning to heal a child who suffers from parental alienation and is going to have to forever deal with a mother who stole him and a father who was not allowed contact and a family he was cut off from.

And who decides the best interest of the child? The people who kidnapped him, denied him his family and abused him for 5 years? Really?!? As a parent, the idea that someone espouses this belief makes me sick.

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I make you sick? Really? Because I put the child's well being first? I think he deserves a voice in all of this? Because I think it should be handled differently based on the child's well being? Really?

Feel free to buy lots of barf bags.................I won't change my mind.

Linda7NJ said:

I wasn't comparing the two. I was addressing this statement:

"It is just plain WIERD that this step father wants to keep the child. When I first heard of this story, my thought was there may have been some abuse - why would a grown man want to fight to keep another man's child? The Grandparent angle makes sense. If the step-parent is not molesting this child, that is the only explanation that makes any sense."

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That was not clear in your posts.

I am not saying no crime was committed either.

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But you are ok perpetuating the crime and to continue to support it and allow it to exist on a daily basis. Against a child and his father.

I believe..... if the boy views his step father as his father...he is indeed the boy's psychological father. Ripping him away and sending him "home" to the USA with his biological father will cause irreparable harm. IMO

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Do you know anything about parental alienation? About kidnapped children? About children who are illegally taken from and denied their parents? And the far reaching and horrible damage it does?

Do you know how the child feels about his step father? The irreparable harm as been done, Linda! He is being harmed every day. He has been harmed for 5 long years. The question is how to end the harm. You are suggesting he continue to be allowed to be harmed. How is THIS beneficial? How is this in the best interest of the child? I would love to know your thoughts.

The child deserves a say and I believe he has the right to be heard. I would rather the child remain where he is for now, have frequent visits with his biological father and have mandatory therapy BEFORE and decision is made about where he is to live.

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Nine year old internationally kidnapped children suffering from parental alienation should be allowed to make adult decisions? Really? No good family court judge would allow it. Not morally, ethically or legally. A voice perhaps, but taken with the knowledge of the situation and knowing how that effects the child. Which a good judge does. This has not happened here. In fact, quite the opposite. It's a miscarriage of justice.

How frequent do you think visits to Brazil can be made? Financially? And with a job? That is so unrealistic, it's laughable to suggest it.

Linda7NJ said:

I make you sick? Really? Because I put the child's well being first? I think he deserves a voice in all of this? Because I think it should be handled differently based on the child's well being? Really?

Feel free to buy lots of barf bags.................I won't change my mind.

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The post clearly says the idea, not you. And no one spoke of vomit. I wonder if you are confusing threads because what you reference is not on this one.

Your position is not about the well being of the child. If it was, you would say that. Instead you think the child should remain with his abductors and the father, the victim, should have to take responsibility. This is not about the well being of the child. It's about perpetuating abuse and crime. That is heinous.

mae said:

The post clearly says the idea, not you. And no one spoke of vomit. I wonder if you are confusing threads because what you reference is not on this one.

Your position is not about the well being of the child. If it was, you would say that. Instead you think the child should remain with his abductors and the father, the victim, should have to take responsibility. This is not about the well being of the child. It's about perpetuating abuse and crime. That is heinous.

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My position is about the well being of the child, and I've stated that..... repeatedly.

Perhaps it is you that is confused or on the wrong thread?

BTW I re-read post #79 and I believe it was crystal clear what I was responding to.

Donjeta said:

Either way it's going to be traumatic for the little boy. He's already lost his dad once and his mother is now gone forever. If he stays in Brazil he loses his chance to be reunited with his father and even if he doesn't now he is going to wonder about him one day. If he returns to USA he loses the stepfather who is currently the only parental figure he's known for the last 5 years and probably loses contact with his siblings as well, and goes to his father who, after five years, is a practical stranger to him. And who knows what his mother has told him about his father and why he is not allowed to meet him.

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Donjeta - ITA, it's going to be traumatic either way it goes; however, we can not continue to allow Sean to be held in Brazil. I think it would be more traumatic if he knows that he has a father out there and wasn't given the opporunity to know him. Believe me from personal experience - it happens and it will turn on them in the end when he finds out the truth!

Linda7NJ said:

I wasn't comparing the two. I was addressing this statement:

"It is just plain WIERD that this step father wants to keep the child. When I first heard of this story, my thought was there may have been some abuse - why would a grown man want to fight to keep another man's child? The Grandparent angle makes sense. If the step-parent is not molesting this child, that is the only explanation that makes any sense."

I am not saying no crime was committed either.

I believe..... if the boy views his step father as his father...he is indeed the boy's psychological father. Ripping him away and sending him "home" to the USA with his biological father will cause irreparable harm. IMO

You and everyone else are free to disagree with me.

The child deserves a say and I believe he has the right to be heard. I would rather the child remain where he is for now, have frequent visits with his biological father and have mandatory therapy BEFORE and decision is made about where he is to live.

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I will continue to disagree with you! Three, count that, three pyschologists interviewed Sean and all agreed that it is in Sean's best interest to be returned to the US with his father, David! He will be no more harmed now by returning to his loving family in the US than what he has experienced by being forced to live a lie in Brazil with those that claim they love him.

Any other day, I would agree with you that the child deserves a say in this. This child just turned 9 years old on May 25th. This child has suffered mental abuse by this family for the past 5 years. This child has been fed lie after lie after lie about his father. Why do you choose to overlook that? Mental abuse, IMO, is far worse than physical abuse. I've suffered both so I can say that. This child needs to be removed from this family in Brazil -- they are causing him irreparable damage!

ETA: One more question....do you think that all LBP's (Left Behind Parents) should be required to pay child support to their abductors? It happens and David has been grilled because he has not paid, nor would I.

Another thing: I used to be a foster parent and I had the most beautiful little girl that came to live with me and my husband. We taught her how to talk, walk, laugh, and just be a kid. No doubt that we 'bonded'. She cried the day we gave her back and we left town for the weekend -- we were literally sick with grief. Do you think that we should have been able to keep her? I only wish that were the case rather than give her back to her severly neglectful parents.

Yep, no matter what is done in this sitch there will be lots of fallout. So a choice needs to be made (give him to real dad) and deal with what comes - just like we all do to greater or lesser degrees every day of our lives. We all pay in some way for other's choices.

Bree0372 said:

Donjeta - ITA, it's going to be traumatic either way it goes; however, we can not continue to allow Sean to be held in Brazil. I think it would be more traumatic if he knows that he has a father out there and wasn't given the opportunity to know him. Believe me from personal experience - it happens and it will turn on them in the end when he finds out the truth!




I will continue to disagree with you! Three, count that, three psychologists interviewed Sean and all agreed that it is in Sean's best interest to be returned to the US with his father, David! He will be no more harmed now by returning to his loving family in the US than what he has experienced by being forced to live a lie in Brazil with those that claim they love him.

Any other day, I would agree with you that the child deserves a say in this. This child just turned 9 years old on May 25th. This child has suffered mental abuse by this family for the past 5 years. This child has been fed lie after lie after lie about his father. Why do you choose to overlook that? Mental abuse, IMO, is far worse than physical abuse. I've suffered both so I can say that. This child needs to be removed from this family in Brazil -- they are causing him irreparable damage!

ETA: One more question....do you think that all LBP (Left Behind Parents) should be required to pay child support to their abductors? It happens and David has been grilled because he has not paid, nor would I.

Another thing: I used to be a foster parent and I had the most beautiful little girl that came to live with me and my husband. We taught her how to talk, walk, laugh, and just be a kid. No doubt that we 'bonded'. She cried the day we gave her back and we left town for the weekend -- we were literally sick with grief. Do you think that we should have been able to keep her? I only wish that were the case rather than give her back to her severely neglectful parents.

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I was a foster parent for many many years. That's how I came to adopt my son. He was placed at the young age of 3 weeks old. DHS in their infinite wisdom wanted to move him to a "friend" of his birth mothers at the age of 2 and a half years old. I dug in my heels, did my research, hired an attorney, had a bonding evaluation done and filed a petition to intervene. Guess what? That Adoption and Safe Families Act clearly states it was my son's best interest to remain with me and be adopted. And he was

Linda7NJ said:

I was a foster parent for many many years. That's how I came to adopt my son. He was placed at the young age of 3 weeks old. DHS in their infinite wisdom wanted to move him to a "friend" of his birth mothers at the age of 2 and a half years old. I dug in my heels, did my research, hired an attorney, had a bonding evaluation done and filed a petition to intervene. Guess what? That Adoption and Safe Families Act clearly states it was my son's best interest to remain with me and be adopted. And he was

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i am a foster parent as well. and we adopted our 3 yo daughter through the "department of children and families". she is the absolute light of our life. we brought her home from the hospital at 3 months of age. she was considered "medically needy". she has grown, blossomed and surpassed everyone's expectations. we love her and cant imagine our life without her.


IF i found out she had been kidnapped as part of a child smuggling ring and her birth mother had been DESPERATELY searching for her EVERY SINGLE day since she was kidnapped, yes, i would be DEVASATATED, and i would fight to coordinate a smooth transition and i would BEG to remain a part of her life. but i can honestly say that i would want her returned to her bio mom. my heart would break into a million pieces and i would have to be strongly medicated, but it is not all about ME. as a mother i would have compassion for her bio mom, and i love my daughter so much that i would want her to be with her bio mom. (of course, i would demand that all of the neccessary safegaurds and checks were in place to ensure she was safe, happy and healthy.)

i would just tell myself that God sent her to me, so that i could protect her, love her and help her grow and heal until her bio mom could find her.

****i completely see your point with your child, however you did not steal your son from completely capable parents who were innocent of child neglect. but i understand your passion regarding not giving children back to parents/grandparents/"friends" of birth family who are clearly in no position to raise a child. we have been through the court hearings several times!

Linda7NJ said:

I was a foster parent for many many years. That's how I came to adopt my son. He was placed at the young age of 3 weeks old. DHS in their infinite wisdom wanted to move him to a "friend" of his birth mothers at the age of 2 and a half years old. I dug in my heels, did my research, hired an attorney, had a bonding evaluation done and filed a petition to intervene. Guess what? That Adoption and Safe Families Act clearly states it was my son's best interest to remain with me and be adopted. And he was

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While no one doubts this at all, this is not about you! This is not about your situation. This is not about adoption or foster parenting (those are merely red herrings in this case). This is about a kidnapped nine year old boy, ripped from his father, subjected to brainwashing and denied his paternal family.

Again I ask:

Do you know anything about parental alienation? About kidnapped children? About children who are illegally taken from and denied their parents? And the far reaching and horrible damage it does? How a child feels when he feels he has been abandoned by a parent? Do you know how the child feels about his step father? The irreparable harm as been done, Linda! He is being harmed every day. He has been harmed for 5 long years. The question is how to end the harm. You are suggesting he continue to be allowed to be harmed. How is THIS beneficial? How is this in the best interest of the child?

As I said, I would love to know your thoughts on exactly how letting the child remain with his abductors and denied his father is beneficial for the well being of this boy or in his best interests.

mae said:

While no one doubts this at all, this is not about you! This is not about your situation. This is not about adoption or foster parenting (those are merely red herrings in this case). This is about a kidnapped nine year old boy, ripped from his father, subjected to brainwashing and denied his paternal family.

Again I ask:

Do you know anything about parental alienation? About kidnapped children? About children who are illegally taken from and denied their parents? And the far reaching and horrible damage it does? How a child feels when he feels he has been abandoned by a parent? Do you know how the child feels about his step father? The irreparable harm as been done, Linda! He is being harmed every day. He has been harmed for 5 long years. The question is how to end the harm. You are suggesting he continue to be allowed to be harmed. How is THIS beneficial? How is this in the best interest of the child?

As I said, I would love to know your thoughts on exactly how letting the child remain with his abductors and denied his father is beneficial for the well being of this boy or in his best interests.

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I've answered this...scroll up

This is not a foster child and to compare his situation to that of a child removed from his parent's care by the state, due to abuse, is ludicrous.

To allow this boy to continue to be separated from his own loving father is not only a travesty, but sets a very dangerous precedent in cases of international parental abductions. Sadly, there are many such cases that do not receive international media attention.

Sean is not a baby and should be allowed to weigh in on his own situation now that he has had the opportunity to spend time with his true father. Sadly, there is no way to substantiate whatever claims the mother had to have abducted Sean. It may very well be that the stepfather truly believes that he is protecting Sean. But, IMO, doubtful. At this point, I believe he just wants to win at any cost.

Fairy1 said:

This is not a foster child and to compare his situation to that of a child removed from his parent's care by the state, due to abuse, is ludicrous.

To allow this boy to continue to be separated from his own loving father is not only a travesty, but sets a very dangerous precedent in cases of international parental abductions. Sadly, there are many such cases that do not receive international media attention.

Sean is not a baby and should be allowed to weigh in on his own situation now that he has had the opportunity to spend time with his true father. Sadly, there is no way to substantiate whatever claims the mother had to have abducted Sean. It may very well be that the stepfather truly believes that he is protecting Sean. But, IMO, doubtful. At this point, I believe he just wants to win at any cost.

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The Mom (Bruna) never said anything bad about David in the courts. Quite the opposite in fact. She wanted out of the marriage to return to her wealthy family in Rio and live the high life. Her Mom funded the opening of her boutique in Rio. Whereas in NJ, she taught school - Italian. She also had to contribute to the household expenses in NJ...GASP!!!

I think that Sean has already weighed in. He said "whatever"...he is indifferent about where he goes because he knows it is out of his hands.

Parental Alienation really screws with a child's mind. Sean has been "abused" (mentally) for the last 5 years. It's heartbreaking to know that he has a loving, stable, father in New Jersey that wants nothing more than to be a parent to his son.

I have a friend that lives overseas that is contemplating taking her children and returning to the US. Her husband is mentally, verbally and physically abusive to her (that's a fact). He is very inattentive of the children. He has his gf on the side and that is all that matters to him.

I warned her about the Hague Convention and that she may ultimately lose her children. She told her husband that she wanted to come back to the US and he told her he would kill her if she tried. In my heart of hearts, I think he would - or at least try.

I'm torn....I can see leaving when your life is in danger. However, David was none of those things to Bruna and/or Sean. He was a loving husband and father and she betrayed him in the worst kind of way.