I agree gngr-snap, but many parents when their child is different, get very protective and have expectations of schools. But i believe as someone said in a previos thread, the adult future of these children is most important.
The woman i know with a daughter was at the school often and never thought the school did enough. At 14 the the girl was put on the pill. last time i socilized at the mothers place, the then 12 year old child was crawling over people like a 5 yr old, it was uncomfortable, i asked -have you not discussed her respect for her body, and other peoples space, "well no cause well she has adhd and dos'nt understand" duh
My child did not go to special classes, he went to a mental health councellor twice a week alone,(i went seperatly) we learned ,self soothing, every action has a reaction, you are responsible for your choices. I could not put him in time out, he was out the window or wrecking, could not take stuff away, because he would flip, so it was bear hugs till he calmed(i was black and blue) and we talked and read the handouts they gave me, " i say see this is what it says, your going to be perfect now" then we would laugh. It was 4yrs to 10yrs then we moved, i thought it might be a problem, but it was good, before he was a problem child, he even new that some kids did the negative attention thing. I did put him in an alterative school for troubled kids, they are heavy into social skills. He told me "sometimes i don't think like myself" i say i understand it might always be this way. what more can i say?
I think Adam would of been better off in a trailer park, because of the basic stimulli of voices, cars driving by - and of course the nosey neibours.
i don't think A was doing drugs unless mom was supplying him, can't see him haggling with the local drug dealer.
Nancy was antisocial, i'm like that, i am really chatty-taught my child- watch this- just get people talking about themselves- and truly i am interested in how people deal with life, cause i learn social skills that way. she let no-one in her home, she has no close friends. adam, his mother took the charge of controlling life, her face ,her mouth -words-voice- well i can see the face shots.
my child plays the same games, but ya know i don't think any one talked with adam about that this is not real- as in you don't drive with your thumbs
JMO mom said i know how to deal with Adam and bro and dad accepted that.