Amber's Mom wants to meet with Gardner

if that were my son, I would definately want to visit him - to look him in the face and try to reconcile for myself that I raised a murderer - to ask him why, to look for some kind of remorse in his face, and perhaps to say goodbye and to express my own devastation b/c of his crimes

Amber's mom seems remarkably in control of herself - I doubt I'd have the guts to do that and I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't have the courage/desire to face Gardner - he creeps me the heck out

I feel for both families - the horror is unimaginable
they both want answers

Gardner will have to face the families in court on Friday:

Confessed killer John Albert Gardner III is facing life behind bars, but first he must face one of his victims and the family of two others in court Friday.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/may/12/gardner-probation-report-released/

This video shows more of what went down before and after.

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Ambers-Mom-Confronts-Gardners-Mom-93532054.html

He should be forced to meet with Carrie, and answer any questions that Carrie has. And then, he should be executed. No... he should be tortured, and then executed. Because, he tortured (rape is torture) Carrie's daughter, and then 'executed' Amber. And now, he continues to torture Carrie, Amber's mother.

It is so unfair that he is allowed to visit with his family, after he made sure Amber's family will never be able to visit with, hold, touch, hug, comfort Amber again. They just spent the longest, most agonizing year, wondering, worrying, sick with fear over where Amber could be. Who took her? Where is she? Is she alive? Is she in pain? Is she scared, is she being brave? Does she realize we are looking for her? Does she know how much we love her/When will we have answers? Will I be able to hold her, touch her, ever again?

I'm the mother of an only child, a daughter. I have nothing but respect and compassion for Carrie, Amber's mom. Carrie was s desperate and determined to find and rescue her daughter, she was doing actual stake-outs outside local sex offender's homes. Gardner was one of them- but she couldn't have known which one to follow and concentrate on, because there were too many. My heart aches for what Carrie has been through, is going through, will always be be going through.

I think the laws should be changed. I think if convicted of kidnapping, rape and murder of a minor, such as Amber, the convicted should lose all contact with the outside world. No visitation or letters to/from family. No interviews with the press (like he just recently gave over the phone). No audience whatsoever.

But really, he should be executed.

When I find a spider in my home, I grab a sheet of notebook paper, and do everything I can to get it to climb onto the paper so I can quickly carry it outside so I don't kill it. Spiders creep me out, but I can't bring myself to kill them.

Yet, if necessary, I would be comfortable flipping the switch on Gardener, with my own hand. Give me the needle full of the death fluid that will stop his heart, and I will gladly plunge it into his vein.

If what he has done to these girls, to these families, to these communities doesn't warrant the death penalty, then by God, what does?

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Ambers-Mom-Talks-to-Gardner-in-Jail--93638644.html

McGonigle said she got a call early this afternoon from a sheriff's deputy at San Diego County Central Jail. She said the deputy told her that Gardner wanted to meet with her and that she had to be at the jail by 3 p.m.

McGonigle said she began asking Gardner questions about how he took Amber, who was last seen on her way to school on Feb. 13, 2009. The Escondido teen's mother said he answered every one of her questions during their 30-minute meeting.

Source: Amber's Mom Talks to Gardner in Jail | NBC San Diego

It sounds like it was a visit that helped Amber's Mother get some answers. Good. Let's put him away forever then on Friday.

http://www.10news.com/news/23535375/detail.html

I just watched 10 news here in San Diego. Amber's mom said she will not release details of what Gardner told her, out of respect for Amber's Dad, Moe. Carrie said Moe is not ready to hear any details about what happened to Amber. Until he is, the public won't hear it either.

I can't believe that woman pushed Amber's mom! Talk about adding insult to injury. My heart broke for Carrie all over again. What a courageous woman. I hope she has some peace of mind somehow.

It took a tremendous amount of courage for Carrie to sit and face her daughter's murderer and ask the details of her abduction and murder. I'm glad she finally got the answers she needed.

Wow! I don't know if I could've done what she did. I'm glad that she was able to meet with him and get some answers. I can't imagine.

http://www.cbs8.com/Global/story.asp?S=12470359

Amber's mom has the answers she's been waiting to hear for months, and she got them straight from John Gardner. And though she's not sharing details about what he revealed, out of respect for Amber's father, McGonigle has closure.

McGonigle's friend and spokesperson says she spent Wednesday night working on the victim impact statement she will read at the sentencing on Friday, adding that her meeting with Gardner did change what she will say.

http://www.10news.com/news/23535375/detail.html

During her meeting with Gardner Wednesday, McGonigle said he told her he was always willing to speak with her, but said his attorney prevented him from doing so.

Additionally, she told 10News she is struggling with her victim's impact statement, not because of the obvious painful reasons one could imagine, but because she was worried it would bring some sort of satisfaction to her daughter's killer.

Nancy2441 said:

http://www.10news.com/news/23535375/detail.html

During her meeting with Gardner Wednesday, McGonigle said he told her he was always willing to speak with her, but said his attorney prevented him from doing so.

Additionally, she told 10News she is struggling with her victim's impact statement, not because of the obvious painful reasons one could imagine, but because she was worried it would bring some sort of satisfaction to her daughter's killer.

Click to expand...

I feel bad about a lot of family members and what they go through, that we read about here....this one though has my heart, literally through my throat. I don't know that I've ever felt as badly for someone I don't know. I hope she makes it through this a life that can be lived again, not just surviving it.

Charlie09 said:

I feel bad about a lot of family members and what they go through, that we read about here....this one though has my heart, literally through my throat. I don't know that I've ever felt as badly for someone I don't know. I hope she makes it through this a life that can be lived again, not just surviving it.

Click to expand...

I just heard an interview with Carrie on the KFI John and Ken show. She's a brave, resolute lady. She stated that she feels NOW she can move on with her life.

When she talked with JAG, she did not ask for any specific details of the death, but wanted to know how Gardner was able to "snatch" Amber from the street. She has that information now.

Despite John and Ken trying to have her reveal this information she was firm that when she has talked with her family and Amber's father, then she will share it so other parents know what happened--to help them keep their kids safe.

What an untenable situation. I can only think good thoughts and prayers for her and her family and Amber's dad.