Interview Feb. 23, 2011
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/peasintheirpods/2011/02/24/phylicia-barnes-friends
4 of PBs classmates and friends: Rita, Tami, Jane, and Brad (Pseudonyms)
(Introductions, etc.)
(Minute 9)
Peas- Who is PB? Rita, how did you meet PB? How did you become friends?
Rita- Met her in school, probably met her in 9th grade, didnt become friends immediately, but as we took more classes together two years ago, we became friends.
Peas- so you are classmates and share common interests, and grew close.
Rita- Yes.
Peas- Tami, how did you come to meet PB?
Tami- It was about 6 years ago, when she came to our school in 7th grade. We just, same kind of thing as Rita, we had classes together nd slowly became friends from out common interests
Peas- Jane, how about you?
Jane- I cant tell you how we met.. We have been friends since 8th grade. Its been so long. I am guessing at school. We have almost the same classes.
Peas- So you met at school, similar to the others. How about you Brad? How did you meet her?
Brad- I probably met her when she first came to the school. We met the same, when she came to the school. We didnt really click as friends until Freshman year at PE. we used to hang out. Last year we had sevedrl classes togheter, so we got to talk.
Peas- What kind of person is she? How would you describe her? What was she like? What IS she like?
Brad- PB iis very funny, intelligent, she is always smiling. Always there when you needed a pick me up.
Peas- Sounds like a beautiful, awesome, well rounded young woman. Tami, is that how you viewed her? What other characteristics would you through out there.
(Minute 12)
Tami- She was funny and like Brad said. She always has us laughing and always has the funniest sayings and things like that.
Peas- She was funny and playful
(tells them their teacher is in the chat room supporting them) What I wanted to ask, Rita and Jane
.Jane first. We all know on Dec. 28 PB was missing. Where were you when you heard the news?
Jane- I was at home. It was around 10 and I got a call from PBs sister. She asked me, Have I talked to her? That kind of thing. So I was at home when I found out about that.
Peas- You said PBs sister called you. Which sister?
Jane- Yeah, PBs
D. DB called me.
Peas. DB called you. Was it the first time you had ever spoken to her? Did you have a relationship where you would talk to her?
Jane- It wasnt the first time I had talked to her. I had talked to her couple of times. It wasnt like a very close relationship, but yeah.
Peas- Jane to you recall what time of day?
Jane- It was 10 at night.
Peas. 10 at night she called to see if you had heard from PB. What were your initial thoughts when you heard from her sister? Was DB panic stricken or am I adding emotions to it?
Jane- When I first found out, I thought it was nothing. I thought that she had done something really stupid, and, you know, shed be back home the next day. I thought it was nothing serious. I didnt think it was serious at that point.
Peas- There was nothing in DBs voice that made you think she was kind of nervous or panicky about not being able to find PB?
Jane- Um, yeah, I mean, You could hear how she was very concerned, but still I didnt think it was that serious. I thought maybe she forgot to call her sister. Okay. Maybe she would be back, you know, the next day. I didnt think it was really that serious.
(Minute 15)
Peas- Rita, How about you? Where were you when you first heard and what were your thoughts?
Rita- Well, I am not sure if it was the day she went missing. but Jane had told me on Skype or texting me, she said Stay on, I am going to talk to you. I was like, No, tell me tomorrow, I am going to go asleep. I didnt wait for her to say anything back. Then the next day, One of our other friends said well have you heard about PB yet. I was like, Oh no, what has she done now. She said Phylicia is missing, or she has not been, it whatever amount of time. PB, with her phone, she has a habit of dropping it and the battery drops out because shes dropped it so many times. We cant get a hold of PB. Well, of course you cant. I didnt even think twice about it, I just thought everybody is over reacting The thing I thought the most was that Shes going to be in big trouble with her mom and shes not going to be able to do anything for a while, because her mom is going to be mad at her.
Peas- got it. She had a habit of issues with her phone and she was being a typical teen, maybe not checking in when she was supposed to. Brad, initially these reports were saying That she had left on her own, run away
Since then, investigators have changed their theory on what happened. When you first heard that she left on her own did that strike you as a possiblility? What were your thoughts?
Brad- When I first heard the stories about a run away, I kind of discarded that pretty quickly, because I cant see PB as being someone to runaway. Not onlyjust because is that not who she is, but there is no motivation to run away.
Peas What do you mean by there is no motivation?
Brad- There isnt a reason that would cause her to run away, and she doesnt have anywhere to run to./ And I think she would have spoken to one of us even if she was going to run away..
Peas- Had you spoken to her since she went to Bmore?
Brad- We did a little Facebook chat. but that was the extent of it.
Peas-Daily, or infrequent?
Brad- No, it was just.. every couple days or so. I was in Florida at the time.
(Minute 18)
Peas- Jane, when was the last time you communicated with PB, before she was reported missing on the 28th.
Jane- I spoke to her Dec. 27th. So the day before.
Peas- Via facebook, phone??
Jane- It was Skype. I texted her, and then I talked to her on Skype.
Peas- What was her mood like?
Jane- She seemed very happy. It was nothing unusual. She was really smiling. She was herself, she was very happy.
Peas- Very happy. Rita, when was the last time you spoke with her?
(Minute 20)
Rita- I am not sure the exact date. After Christmas, a couple days after Christmas we talked about what kind of stuff she got. She was telling me about clothes, and how she was going to get her hair done and stuff. Like Jane said, she seemed happy and like she was having fun. Nothing out of the ordinary at all.
Peas- Tami, how about you?
Tami- I talked to her the 26th. On Sunday, because I sent her a picture of the snow, and she couldnt believe it had snowed and she was jealous because she wasnt here to share it with us. She seemed perfectly happy, that she was having a fun time up there.
Peas- So no complaints about anything, anyone, during her stay up there?
(All agree).
Peas- So we have that on record. Thats important. Let me throw out another question. I did see that Union Academy had a prayer vigil in January?
Brad- Weve had several.
Peas- How is the student body handling this? This is big, you have a classmate who isnt in their desk, where they sit. It effects you every day. How as a community, as a school, have you dealt with this?
Brad- Well, the first day back from Christmas break, we started doing purple ribbons because purple is her favorite color. We got purple wristbands that say her name and faith-hope-love on it. That has become our slogan for it. And the Senior class has purple shirts that say faith hope love and (her name) on it.
Peas- Thats very powerful. What was it like going back, your first day of classes, and not having your buddy, your friend, in classes with you.
Tami- It was definitely hard because her locker is right down from mine and we have two classes together. In Spanish class she is always my partner and I remember that first week back we had partner work and she wasnt there to be my partner. It hits me when little stuff happens and I am reminded she isnt there.
Peas- Of course it has been a couple months. Has it gotten any easier?
Jane- Kind of. Not really .I mean, Every day, it gets harder, because she is
its like
I have to take it one day at a time.
(Minute 24)
Peas- Thats a powerful statement. Thats the best anyone can do, really. One day at a time. It is something you are dealing with every day. It isnt something you can get over, right?
Jane- Yeah, thats Right.
Peas- A few days ago, Phylicias locker was cleaned out, and that made it very real for you and your classmates.
Jane- Yes. When her locker was cleaned out, I thought oh, it is actually real. I cant process that she is missing. When her locker was cleaned out, it really showed me that she was really missing.
Peas- It made it real. Tami, how did you know her locker was cleaned out?
Tami- When our school held the press conference to announce the reward, when her mom was there, her younger sister (I was told) came in and took her books and stuff. One of our friends told me that day. (sounds like her voice breaks)
Peas- That they had cleaned out her locker?
Tami- Yeah.
Peas- From the sight I am looking at, the Find PB Fund, (Address) Tip line- 855-223-0033. (Talks about the fund, etc.) (Asks Janice, the other moderator, if she has questions).
(Minute 27)
Janice (Peas)- Did PB say maybe she met someone, like a boy she was talking to, or someone online?
Rita- Not recently, no. there was someone she met a while back, but I dont think they had hung out this particular trip.
Janice- So there wasnt anyone in Bmore that she would have met up with?
Rita- No, not that I know of.
Janice- Okay, and Tami, did she with you?
Tami-No, not that I know of.
Jane- No. Not
No.
Janice- No?
Jane- Uh Uh.
Janice- And Brad?
Brad- No Maam. I know there was someone she was talking to previously, but not that I know of there.
Janice- So whoever she ws talking to, it wasnt someone from Bmore.
Brad- No Maam.
Janice- What is the school doing to help you deal with her missing?
Rita- The school does provide counseling but I dont go to it. Its unofficial, if you want it. I dont go.
Janice- So Rose how are you dealing with her missing?
(Minute 29)
Rita- I think because of how everyone is coming together, that we are doing better than
if I had imagined something like this happening, I think we are doing pretty well, considering the circumstances. I guess thats what I m trying to say.
Janice- And Tami?
Tami-I am handling it pretty well. My mom says I am handling it better than she would at this point. Its just
It is hard, knowing she isnt there every day, and you have to go to class and live your life, and she is still missing. We are down here in NC and cant do anything about it. So it is definitely hard.
Janice-And Jane?
Jane- I am taking it one day at a time. It is very hard. Because PB IS my best friend. So it is very hard to come to school and she is not here with me. I cant talk to her about anything. It is just very hard. (starts to break down) I just have to take it one day at a time. Thats the only thing I can do.
Janice-Okay hon. And Brad?
Brad- Like everybody says, it is really hard. Every day, to start my day I would walk upstairs to the hall, and she would be there, yelling my name, and going running to me. Thats not there any more, and it reminds me every day. We have each other to learn on, talk to each other, stuff like that. We are hanging in there I guess.
(Minute 31)
Janice-Have you talked to PBs mom?
Rita- I have, I have seen her mom since PB went missing. It was briefly, not like we sat down and had a heart to heart chat or anything like that. She seems strong, she seems
.she seems very determined. Not as sad, I am going to sit around and not doing anything. She seems very determined and proactive about the whole situation.. If they do find her, and they find who took her, I am scared for that person, because PBs mom, she doesnt mess around.
Janice- And Tami?
Tami- I have talked to her since PB went missing. When she has come to the school in the past I have talked to her then. Same as Rita it hasnt been a heart to heart. I am scared for whoever did this to her, because her mom will come after them without any regret or anything.
Janice- How about you, Jane?
Jane- I talk to PBs mom often. Whenever she comes to the school I talk to her. I text her every once in a while to check up on her. And that kind of thing.
Janice- An Brad?
Brad- I have briefly spoken to PBs mom. Whenever she comes to the school, the two or three times shes come to the school I have sat down with her to talk, see how she is doing, not a heart to heart or anything.
(Minute 34)
Peas- (Talks about what school is doing for student. Counseling, etc). Rose, you said you didnt access the counseling, and that might not be for everybody, but do the rest of you, because it sounds like Rose that isnt your thing, but do the rest of you feel that the school has done enough to help your student body?
Brad-Yes, I think so. Even the first day back, they had taken every counselor that they could, even from the elementary school, and brought them up for us, to be there for people to talk about . We have posters in the hallways where we can write anything we want to, directly to PB. We are going to give her those when she is found. One of the counselors started a diary notebook. You can draw pictures, write things down. Some people are writing letters to her. You can take those down to the counselor, and they are going into a scrapbook, that we will give PB when she is found.
Peas- (reads comment from chat room about the teens strength and solidarity in the face of very difficult circumstances. This is a great group of young adults.)
(Minute 37)
Rita- Thank you. We appreciate that very much.
Peas- You have said, Brad, that there are things you are doing that will be given to PB When she is found. That is powerful, phrasing it that way, and not speaking about her in the past tense. Do you all hold out that hope that she will be found? What will that day be like for you, when she is found? What are you going to say to her?
Rita- I have no idea. I cant even think of with words. I have been writing little stuff to her..(breaks down and cries).
Peas- On Facebook?
Rita- Yeah (still crying).
Peas- I know it is difficult Rita. It is very difficult. But Stay strong, keep praying. How about you, Tami?
Tami- Every day I just hope that
no,I dont hope, I know that she is going to come home. That faith hope love builds for PB. That strengthened side of me builds, knowing that she will come home soon. it may not be tomorrow or the next day, but it will be soon.
Peas- Jane, you describe PB as your best friend. When you think about all of this
Dec. 28 you were among the first to get a phone call from her sister. From the outset you were pulled in. And maybe you didnt think it was that serious, but within 24 hours you knew something was not quite right. Even now, do you hold out hope that she will come back and be able to resume her classes and be with you and talk to you?
(Minute 40)
Jane- (blasts the speaker with YEAH!). I have to believe it. Gosh, thats the only thing that can keep you going. If I dont believe it, I dont have anything to hold on to. You have to have hope to get through today. I have to keep the hope and the faith that she is coming home.
Peas- (Asks about racial lines in her disappearance, talks about not seeing racial lines among classmates at the school, and how many of the students are Caucasian, not Af. Am (Jane is Af. Am).) Initially she was labeled a runaway and not taken as seriously as it maybe should have.
Rita- Honestly, when I got over realizing she didnt just lose her phone and that something could be actually going on. I was almost hoping, wishing she was white just because I know that it tends to
white missing children tend to get more media attention than African American Children. But I have been proven wrong. She has gotten way more media attention than I thought. Thats a great thing. Peole go missing every day, all the time, and it barely gets out there. But I think whatever the school is doing, whatever her friends and family are doing, it is the right thing. I was in a store today, and I struck up a conversation with a woman, and we started talking about PB, and she knew immediately who I was talking about as soon as I said her name. When you talk to people you have never met, and they know who she is,. I definitely know her name is out there. I think the fear I had that she would be discriminated against for being African American. I am really surprised in a good way, and I think it has turned out the best so far.
Peas- Thank you. Does anybody disagree? Think that maybe it is not enough?
Tami- I think it isnt enough. Shes a friend of mine. I mean, if someone is missing and you dont know them, you see the news and thats it. But Once you know someone, you think everyone should be spending all of their time. All the news, she should be on there 24-7, so the right person can see her. I know there is a lot of news coverage, but I just think there should be more.
Peas- In NC, what type of media coverage is there?
Brad- I know there is a lot of local news coverage. Online, or on TV, Ive seen both. Other than that, thats the extent of what Ive seen. It is comforting to know
just this past week, I talked to my uncle who lives in Orlando Fl, and he knew her name, and that she was missing. Thats the extent of what he knew, but that her information has traveled so far said a lot.
(Minute 46)
Peas- is it enough? Of course, for those connected to a loved one, it is never enough. (turns over to the phone lines, to see what people have to say).
I stopped transcribing here. What was happening was more for the benefit of the teens themselves, and I so appreciate what the commentators did, supporting those kids. Heart-wrenching to hear how much they are connected to and love PB. The conversation was about what the teens would say to PB if she was listening, and what the people in the teens lives can do for the teens.
Rose says it isnt about what people need to do for HER, but what they can do for finding PB. That the emotions are real, and they need to talk to friends and keep faith. Friends are the best support. (This is one amazing teen, Rose is. They all are, but she had this ability to articulate their thoughts really well)
They talked a lot about dealing with emotions and processing things. This is important stuff for people who are dealing with grief and loss and fear.
(All five of these kids are very, very tight friends
)
(Any thing you can do, no matter how small, it helps. Hearing about the search efforts, seeing the kind words on FB pages, anything helps).