Rant/Emotion Overload

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These crimes can be depressing and emotionally draining. I know Sandra's case has really hit me - its close, I have an 8-year old grand daughter and I am shocked by the perp, to say the least.

We do need to remember that here at WS, we focus on these crimes. Meaning we see these crimes in a lot more depth then most others do because we follow them, we sleuth them, we try to help where we can and discuss and speculate and come up with theories, so we become much more immersed than normal. Because of that, we need to remind ourselves to step back if necessary and take a breather. Go outside, play with the kids, visit a neighbor for coffee, anything that gives you a little break.


(((((hugs to all))))) (I can't find that group hug smilie),

Salem
 
I agree wholeheartedly Salem. It was good to get away for 4-5 days and take a breather, doing different things. It was a reminder to me to stay balanced.
 
Salem said:
These crimes can be depressing and emotionally draining. I know Sandra's case has really hit me - its close, I have an 8-year old grand daughter and I am shocked by the perp, to say the least.

We do need to remember that here at WS, we focus on these crimes. Meaning we see these crimes in a lot more depth then most others do because we follow them, we sleuth them, we try to help where we can and discuss and speculate and come up with theories, so we become much more immersed than normal. Because of that, we need to remind ourselves to step back if necessary and take a breather. Go outside, play with the kids, visit a neighbor for coffee, anything that gives you a little break.


(((((hugs to all))))) (I can't find that group hug smilie),

Salem
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Salem,
I first came here to WS after doing a web search to find more info on Caylee than I could get watching NG (LOL). So, in other words, not so long ago. I've read posts from old timers talking about how the site has just exploded with newbies like me since the Caylee case.

Maybe some of you all who have been here longer can share some advice with us on how YOU deal with the emotions these kinds of cases bring.

Also, I'm curious, do you think we are more effected by these perps than usual because they are female? First KC, then LE in Samsuta saying MC is the key, now MH? Do you think this may be an added strain on everyone's emotions?

Really wondering what the seasoned sleuths think.:blowkiss:
 
Our world has changed. With the internet, crimes against children have become increasingly prolific w now widespread, systematic abuse and organized exploitation of our children in what's become a vile epidemic of child *advertiser censored*. The internet breeds and reproduces pedophilia because it FEEDS this ugly, loathesome monster... and without question is making this world a sicker, more treacherous, deadly place for children. When I was growing up in the 60's, the neighborhood children ALL roamed through every inch of our wooded subdivision for hours and days on end--w/out parents in fear of whether their children would return home. It isn't that there were NO child predators or SO's then I'm quite aware they existed then too but they weren't ANYWHERE near as prevalent, because there wasn't the free, open access that they now have to consume and exchange kiddie *advertiser censored*. And we are NOT headed in the right direction!!

More and more families are broken, w children having to fend for themselves w either no parent--or no stable responsible parent--in the home. And the lines between adults and children have become increasingly blurred. Our entire culture has been sexualizing children at alarmingly younger and younger ages... There's no way in #e[[ I'd let my six year-old daughter out of my sight for a flippin minute and don't plan to for YEARS either. I am not going to pretend we're just noticing, or reporting, it more now... we are reaping the seeds that have been sown, and it is continuing to grow WORSE, MUCH MUCH WORSE. Well you did say we could rant here... JMO

:parrot:
 
Some things may have changed over the years. Once, kids weren't allowed to play indoors watching all sorts of movies, computer access, and video games. They all played outside and didn't get involved that much at all with other kids' parents. Now, kids stay indoors, get fat and out of shape with parents butting in and acting like they have to also be their friends. Kids don't need unsupervised time with parents, teachers, coaches, church people, etc. Some of the nastiest, hateful women I've ever seen work as hourly wage workers up at the school. They need to be watched for physical abuse as well. Everyone is a stranger except a few trusted family members as far as I'm concerned. This has woke me up. There'll never be any nice women who are family of family or anything else ever hauling my grandkids to church.
 
I've been browsing this site for about 3 years or so, and have seen some of the most horrific crimes brought out to detail. I guess after a while you kinda get used to knowing what will happen next. I'm not quite sure why this case has me thinking so much. Maybe because she lived less than 20 minutes time from me, where her picture was flashed everyday for days when she went missing. It seemed when she was missing that the police were exhausting every viable option they could to find her, and i thought that for once, just maybe, she would have a happy ending. Not another little girl taken. And then we learned that she was dead, and worse, the manner of how she was found, and how i had been planning to volunteer to search for her soon. Maybe it's the surveillence tapes and pictures that show a normal, happy, 8-year-old girl living like any other girl her age would, rejoicing over Hannah Montana presents. Maybe because I remember being 8 years old and never even having the thought of something so horrific cross my mind. The media have brought out her personality and family so vividly at times. I saw a commercial on T.V tonight for the Hannah Montana movie during the evening news and for a split second i thought of little Sandra Cantu and how excited she probably was for this movie to come out, and now never will.

I just hate how it was someone so trustworthy. Don't talk to stranger's, we say to our kids, but its never "be on the look out for your best friend's mother!". It SHOULDN'T be. It's not shocking to me that the murderer is a sunday school teacher, its shocking to me that it's someone whom Sandra probably knew for a full year or so, and Huckaby took full advantage of that. How can anyone look at that video of her and then act on her the way they did? It's downright insane, and pisses me off that she wasn't safe at her BEST FRIEND'S house, a whole 75 yards from her house!

I just can't imagine what Ms. Chavez and the family could possibly be going through right now. I can't imagine the "what-if-i-had"s going through her head, and the loss she'll have to experience for the rest of her life. She's had someone taken from her unjustly and unfairly.

I guess that's just a rant i needed to get out. Thanks for this post salem, it was much needed. My my, that was long.
 
I've been a follower of missing children since Danielle Van Dam -- that one hit close to home, as I worked with Damon. Then on to Scott Peterson, and on and on.

I have a now 11 year old, and my mom always told me I keep him wrapped in cotton wool. The truth - yes, I do. I drive him to school everyday, and hubby picks him up. Today I panicked when husband called to say that our son wasn't by the tree where he is picked up everyday. He said "I'll call you right back". 5 minutes later, he still hadn't called - I called, and thankfully, my son was just running a few minutes late. I was suprised by my reaction when I said "Honey - you know how I feel about missing children, why didn't you call me back". That's how paranoid I've become.

THIS case now has me thinking of sleepovers, friend visits to other homes. You think you can trust the parents -- but can we really? I've let my son visit friends many times, but all I do is sit home and worry. Most of the time I suggest they come over here -- I am so protective of my and my friend's children.

Yes, these cases get to me each and every time. And yes, there are days that I don't even want to step outside! Just the other day (OT) a woman was shopping at Kroeger's and a guy ran by and grabbed her purse right out of her cart and ran out the door.

Are any of us safe???

Bless,

Melanie
 
mgardner said:
I've been a follower of missing children since Danielle Van Dam -- that one hit close to home, as I worked with Damon. Then on to Scott Peterson, and on and on.

I have a now 11 year old, and my mom always told me I keep him wrapped in cotton wool. The truth - yes, I do. I drive him to school everyday, and hubby picks him up. Today I panicked when husband called to say that our son wasn't by the tree where he is picked up everyday. He said "I'll call you right back". 5 minutes later, he still hadn't called - I called, and thankfully, my son was just running a few minutes late. I was suprised by my reaction when I said "Honey - you know how I feel about missing children, why didn't you call me back". That's how paranoid I've become.

Hi. I don't think you're being paranoid at all. The pick-up after school situation never fails to provoke over-protectiveness in me, whether I'm in the role of a teacher or a mom.

I never have and probably never will allow my child to walk home from school.

Are you posting in the Tori case, where she just disappears with a woman after school?
Click to expand...
 
Once again, it makes me disgusted and ill that yet another person placed in a position of trust for children has turned out to be just the opposite.

I'm talking from both the viewpoint of being a parent and of being a teacher.
 
This story shows how it important to be very careful and not let ourselves get carried away in anger over what happened to sweet, beautiful little Sandra Cantu. A second, innocent woman named Melissa Huckaby lives in Tracy, CA. She's also 28 years old, a single mother of a 5 year old and is a Sunday school teacher. Apparently she's been getting death threats and her whole family is traumatised:

California Sunday School Teacher Mistaken for Accused Child Killer
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Associated Press

Please pardon me if you have come across this message posted on other threads, but it's so important to get the word out even to future visitors or casual visitors who may read only this thread.
 
lngrid said:
This story shows how it important to be very careful and not let ourselves get carried away in anger over what happened to sweet, beautiful little Sandra Cantu. A second, innocent woman named Melissa Huckaby lives in Tracy, CA. She's also 28 years old, a single mother of a 5 year old and is a Sunday school teacher. Apparently she's been getting death threats and her whole family is traumatised:

California Sunday School Teacher Mistaken for Accused Child Killer
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Associated Press
(carried on foxnews.com)

Please pardon me if you have come across this message posted on other threads, but it's so important to get the word out even to future visitors or casual visitors who may read only this thread.
Click to expand...

WOW, now what are the chances of that? I feel bad for the "other" M Huckaby, I'd find out of the middle names are different and start to sign my name everywhere with my middle initial/name if I were her.

Its a real shame that these selfish criminals don't for one moment take into consideration the people their actions affect. but then again, I guess you have to have a conscious.:mad:
 
First and foremost, I grieve for little Sandra Cantu, poor innocent baby, child of the Lord.

If all of this is true about Huckaby (the suspect); she has managed with one fell swoop to disgrace all of the noble traits of: woman, mother, teacher, Christian, etc. And you can bet I'm mad!!!!
 
And I'm on emotion overload. I can not watch the video of the horse drawn carriage. So beautiful for such a beautiful child. I posted in 's thread about today's service, but doubt I made any sense, because all I can do is weep at the moment. Such soggy eyes, have I.

Prayers to Sandra's family. Prayers to the Lord that Sandra is flying high in the wings of Angels and prayers for myself that I might understand someday.

Salem
 
Salem said:
And I'm on emotion overload. I can not watch the video of the horse drawn carriage. So beautiful for such a beautiful child. I posted in 's thread about today's service, but doubt I made any sense, because all I can do is weep at the moment. Such soggy eyes, have I.

Prayers to Sandra's family. Prayers to the Lord that Sandra is flying high in the wings of Angels and prayers for myself that I might understand someday.

Salem
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I weep and pray with you Salem.
 
OK .. so nobody has answered yet, let me ask again:

Are pedophiles usually violent toward adults or people in general, OTHER than the children they abuse?

I'm asking because, if I come across a missing child, I will NOT let them out of my sight! And I'll tell ya, I'm so pissed at those F'ing jerks out there (abusers), that I'd better find out if they're just cowards to adults or not ... because I just know there's no way, I'll let them walk away with that child!!!

So, do any of you know the 'profile' character of a pedophile/abuser?
 
aprilshowers said:
OK .. so nobody has answered yet, let me ask again:

Are pedophiles usually violent toward adults or people in general, OTHER than the children they abuse?

I'm asking because, if I come across a missing child, I will NOT let them out of my sight! And I'll tell ya, I'm so pissed at those F'ing jerks out there (abusers), that I'd better find out if they're just cowards to adults or not ... because I just know there's no way, I'll let them walk away with that child!!!

So, do any of you know the 'profile' character of a pedophile/abuser?
Click to expand...

April - I don't know. I would think it depends on the pedo. I'm not sure how to say this, but some pedos seem to just do what they do without putting physical marks on the child. So it is only discovered if the child is taken to the doctor. Others leave marks that arouse suspicion. I would think that the ones that do not leave marks are probably not violent overall and vice versa for the others.

I do think when confronted, they are cowards that will not look you in the eye. Would the pedo act out violently? Good possibility, depending on how cornered he/she felt.

You have to use your best judgment when confronting such a person - maybe it is better to get on your cell phone to LE and follow the person as inconspicously as possible?

Salem
 
aprilshowers said:
Question: Are pedophiles usually violent toward adults or people in general, OTHER than the children they abuse?
Click to expand...

Pedophiles are generally some of the nicest people you will ever meet, and I mean that, because they lure their victims by being nice or extra helpful. If people could only see through the mask they present to the world, they would find someone who is sick, twisted, and deeply disturbed.

The old saying "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" fits here.
 
tiredofthis said:
Pedophiles are generally some of the nicest people you will ever meet, and I mean that, because they lure their victims by being nice or extra helpful. If people could only see through the mask they present to the world, they would find someone who is sick, twisted, and deeply disturbed.

The old saying "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" fits here.
Click to expand...


Agreed. Check out this Wolf in Sheep's Clothing:

http://www.news8austin.com/content/top_stories/default.asp?ArID=233352
 
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