AZ - Valley HS senior with leukemia denied cap, gown wants policy change

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los2188

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Valley HS senior with leukemia denied cap, gown wants policy change
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Stephen Dwyer sat in the stands with his parents watching last night’s graduation ceremony at Dobson High School.

Dwyer is the school body president at Dobson High School. He’s an exceptional student with a 4.2 GPA. He is also a senior and yet he was unable to take part in the 2016 graduation ceremony.

“I started crying because it did mean so much to me,” he said.
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http://www.12news.com/news/local/va...denied-cap-gown-wants-policy-change/218517783​
 
I know it's easy to feel real empathy for him, but I agree with the district's decision. Walking across the stage, and being awarded a diploma is reserved only for those who have completed the graduation requirements. Being 3 credits shy of a diploma is 3 credits shy.

I think it was really lovely and gracious that he was able to lead the class out into the stadium, but he isn't graduating yet, so he won't walk across the stage to receive a diploma. I did scholarship reviews for our alternative school (it's not for discipline, but for kids who for various reasons struggle to complete graduation requirements) and each has their own story. It's honestly a miracle they do fulfill the requirements, considering the heavy burdens they are carrying. Kids in foster care who've moved 7 times in high school, kids in poverty who have had to take a job to support the family, kids who are at home taking care of an ill parent, etc. If you let this boy go through the ceremony, you'd have to review each of these cases and decide if you like the student enough to bend the rules. And that certainly isn't fair!

He's lucky. He's survived leukemia, he's beloved in the community, and he's almost graduated. All he missed out on was wearing a silly looking hat.
 
Well I don't see how it would hurt anyone to let kids wear a silly gown and hat and sit on the stage with their class... he wasn't expecting to get a diploma, just be part of the ceremony
 
Donjeta said:
Well I don't see how it would hurt anyone to let kids wear a silly gown and hat and sit on the stage with their class... he wasn't expecting to get a diploma, just be part of the ceremony
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Then how would you treat the boy whose mother died during his junior year and he had to help take care of his 3 younger siblings so he was unable to take summer school to make up his junior English credit? Or the one whose parents moved and left him behind to basically fend for himself and he failed senior algebra with a 69? Those are both actual cases we considered for scholarships, among so many others with similar obstacles.

Do they also get to sit in the audience with a cap and gown and walk across the stage? If not, it would seem terribly unfair.
 
Well I don't see why not. It's just the decorations and means nothing in terms of course credits, it's just nice memories, for the sense of belonging. I don't see any reason to be stingy with nice memories You get the actual diploma if you've earned it but my conditions for letting someone sit on a stage and feel like a part of his class would be far less stringent
 
This is such a tough situation, my husband and I talked about it, and it boils down to the old adage, "no good deed goes unpunished." If they had let him, then that would have set a precedence and every hard-luck or health situation they would have been fought on. It just stinks no matter how you look at it.
 
Donjeta said:
Well I don't see why not. It's just the decorations and means nothing in terms of course credits, it's just nice memories, for the sense of belonging. I don't see any reason to be stingy with nice memories You get the actual diploma if you've earned it but my conditions for letting someone sit on a stage and feel like a part of his class would be far less stringent
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That's a thought, and maybe a school district might adopt that. If you've participated in school here, and feel this is your graduation class, you can come participate and your name will be called and you can walk across the stage and shake the suit's hands. And maybe in the program, there would be asterisks by those student's names who were receiving diplomas.

That way, students who dropped out for various reasons most of the way to the goal, students who had catastrophic illnesses and couldn't finish yet, and students who moved to another school in their senior year could all participate.

I mean that seriously. That would be a decision for the school board to make - open graduation ceremonies for those who, for social reasons, believe they are members of the graduating class. It would make it more like Prom, and would take the purpose out of the program, but it would be as fair as the current policy of allowing only those who actually completed the requirements to participate. Allow all who completed substantial percentage of the requirements, and would like to participate.
 
babyroxy1969 said:
This is such a tough situation, my husband and I talked about it, and it boils down to the old adage, "no good deed goes unpunished." If they had let him, then that would have set a precedence and every hard-luck or health situation they would have been fought on. It just stinks no matter how you look at it.
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You also have to remember there are kids who did quite well, earned a diploma, but decided not to participate because it's so deadly boring. So it's not like this graduation ceremony is 100K check, it's a ceremony.

And you have to decide who will participate, and make it fair and not based on emotional issues.
 
Donjeta said:
Well I don't see why not. It's just the decorations and means nothing in terms of course credits, it's just nice memories, for the sense of belonging. I don't see any reason to be stingy with nice memories You get the actual diploma if you've earned it but my conditions for letting someone sit on a stage and feel like a part of his class would be far less stringent
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Well...... hmmmmm...... is it a graduation ceremony, or a nice memories ceremony?

Perhaps they should hold a "nice memories ceremony" that any senior can participate in, to celebrate the end of the school year.

And a "graduation ceremony" for those who are actually... you know.... graduating.
 
sonjay said:
Well...... hmmmmm...... is it a graduation ceremony, or a nice memories ceremony?

Perhaps they should hold a "nice memories ceremony" that any senior can participate in, to celebrate the end of the school year.

And a "graduation ceremony" for those who are actually... you know.... graduating.
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The part where you get the diploma is the graduation ceremony that counts. Everything else is window dressing and a photo opportunity. I don't really care who takes part in a photo op. If the kids care, they can do it, as far as I'm concerned. *shrug*
 
So he was unable to complete his credits due to fighting cancer. What about all the kids who graduated but were pushed through the system despite barely getting by. Kids failing a grade is a rare thing these days, at least where I am from. He's not asking for a diploma, just to put on a cap and gown with his fellow classmates. Of which he was a leader by the way.
 
When I graduated, back in the early 80s, you were allowed to participate and walk across the stage. The diplomas were not in the cases. You had to get that piece of paper after the ceremony that night. If you did in fact not complete the requirements, you were not given the diploma until you completed your requirements.
 
JeannaT said:
That's a thought, and maybe a school district might adopt that. If you've participated in school here, and feel this is your graduation class, you can come participate and your name will be called and you can walk across the stage and shake the suit's hands. And maybe in the program, there would be asterisks by those student's names who were receiving diplomas.

That way, students who dropped out for various reasons most of the way to the goal, students who had catastrophic illnesses and couldn't finish yet, and students who moved to another school in their senior year could all participate.

I mean that seriously. That would be a decision for the school board to make - open graduation ceremonies for those who, for social reasons, believe they are members of the graduating class. It would make it more like Prom, and would take the purpose out of the program, but it would be as fair as the current policy of allowing only those who actually completed the requirements to participate. Allow all who completed substantial percentage of the requirements, and would like to participate.
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This is how they did it at my college so I don't see why it couldn't happen in high school. The rules were you had to have three or less classes to finish and you had to already be enrolled in those classes for that summer. If so, you still got to walk with the class and even got handed a fake diploma. In the program there was an asterisk next to these students names and down at the bottom it said something like "expected to graduate".
 
AC's Grandma said:
When I graduated, back in the early 80s, you were allowed to participate and walk across the stage. The diplomas were not in the cases. You had to get that piece of paper after the ceremony that night. If you did in fact not complete the requirements, you were not given the diploma until you completed your requirements.
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This is how it went at my high school too. And in college a friend of mine received a notice saying he'd get the diploma when his library fines were paid off.

I don't see what the big deal is, honestly. Let him walk with his friends and have his moment. It's not like he's getting away with something or cheating.
 
bluesneakers said:
This is how it went at my high school too. And in college a friend of mine received a notice saying he'd get the diploma when his library fines were paid off.

I don't see what the big deal is, honestly. Let him walk with his friends and have his moment. It's not like he's getting away with something or cheating.
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So, where does this stop? Does it stop at missing just one class? Or maybe 2? Up to 3? You had to complete your sophomore credits?
 
So to take this further, where else does all this end? Should couples host an elaborate wedding, with dresses, tuxes, a dance band, pinterest out the wazoo but they're not really going to get married, they just want the wedding. Because you know, it's fun. And they'll get lots of attention for themselves.

Honest question.
 
JeannaT said:
So to take this further, where else does all this end? Should couples host an elaborate wedding, with dresses, tuxes, a dance band, pinterest out the wazoo but they're not really going to get married, they just want the wedding. Because you know, it's fun. And they'll get lots of attention for themselves.

Honest question.
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Couples should be able to host all the parties they want. Why would this be a problem?
 
Jeez- some 'rules' can be adjusted under circumstances outside of a students control, illness of self or family, moving, poverty or having to get a job- should these kids be punished on top of the extenuating circumstances? Are we raising little soldiers, robots or humans? What is wrong with being emotional or having emotions towards difficult or trying circumstances? I certainly hope that these kids are being taught compassion and thoughtfulness for others who end up, through no fault of their own, in difficult circumstances.

God forbid something like the situations with other students mentioned above ever happen to one of my children but if it did, I would hope others would care. I hope that my kid would care more about that then they would some ridiculous cut off line or ceremony rule. If it did happen to one of my kids I hope others would care about them too.

To act like using emotions in these circumstances is silly, reprehensible or "a slippery slope" is just the plain wrong way to look at it, in my opinion.

I think we would be much better served to think in terms of all of those different circumstances being pretty profound and probably more common then many of us know and I hope as district leaders, teachers, parents and staff we would find the benefit in the gift of that day and not feel good (for practical reasons) or even justified for taking it away.
 
bluesneakers said:
Couples should be able to host all the parties they want. Why would this be a problem?
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You can host whatever you want, you just don't call it a wedding if you aren't getting married.

Because words have definitions.
 
Frigga said:
Jeez- some 'rules' can be adjusted under circumstances outside of a students control, illness of self or family, moving, poverty or having to get a job- should these kids be punished on top of the extenuating circumstances? Are we raising little soldiers, robots or humans? What is wrong with being emotional or having emotions towards difficult or trying circumstances? I certainly hope that these kids are being taught compassion and thoughtfulness for others who end up, through no fault of their own, in difficult circumstances.

God forbid something like the situations with other students mentioned above ever happen to one of my children but if it did, I would hope others would care. I hope that my kid would care more about that then they would some ridiculous cut off line or ceremony rule. If it did happen to one of my kids I hope others would care about them too.

To act like using emotions in these circumstances is silly, reprehensible or "a slippery slope" is just the plain wrong way to look at it, in my opinion.

I think we would be much better served to think in terms of all of those different circumstances being pretty profound and probably more common then many of us know and I hope as district leaders, teachers, parents and staff we would find the benefit in the gift of that day and not feel good (for practical reasons) or even justified for taking it away.
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In a medium sized graduation class, say 500, you could expect about 50 kids to be in situations where they really wanted to graduate on time but didn't, because of a variety of conditions out of their control. If you propose they all should be able to participate, then it has to change from "graduation" to "spring celebration of various achievements". Something like that.

This dear boy isn't in a unique situation - there are many, many like him who, due to situations out of their control, are unable to finish requirements for a diploma in 4 years,

And that's okay. It just means you don't do the ceremony where everyone else is graduating.
 
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