There were some really great posts last night. We talked about parental instincts. I don't post much, but I read every post you guys write, and again I am blown away by the wisdom and the compassion on this site. I don't know if this will help, but it might, so here goes.
My best friend was licensed in her field, made a great living and easily supported her 11-year old daughter and 14-year old son. She was married, but she and her husband couldn't live together because they fought all the time. The kids lived with her. It took me a couple of years to realize that she was, and had been for awhile, addicted to prescription pain pills. I had no idea. It was another year before things for her started to go downhill. She lost her license, started dating an alcoholic, moved into government housing and spent every dime she had chasing down pills from dealers, friends and family. Truant officers showed up at her house all the time because she never could get up to take her kids to school. Her son made it out eventually when he graduated HS. Her daughter didn't. She loved her mom, but she didn't love the addiction. I guess she felt that if she couldn't beat it, join it. She eventually dropped out of everything--cheerleading and then school altogether. She dated boys her mom never knew about, she had access to all of her mom's pills and liquor. She came and went as she pleased. The home was full of anger--all induced by alcohol and pills. My friend and her alcoholic boyfriend had violent fights. She stayed in hotels sometimes to hide from him with the kids. When she ran out of pills and couldn't get more quick enough, the withdrawals were unimaginable. She would be violently ill, in tremendous pain, and look 10 years older. When she finally got them, she would over-use and become catatonic. She made absolutely no sense when she spoke. She was so unaware of what was going on around her, there's no way she could account for what happened the night before.
Here's my point: I asked posters last night when their hinky meters went off. Mine went off when BD said she went into HD's room Monday morning to ease her mind. She didn't touch her to see if it was really her. I've seen my friend do that countless times. She had vague recollections of the night before, but was never really sure of anything. Her parents and I would get the late night calls begging for help until finally she retired and moved away with them. They enable her to this day.
What happened to HD could've happened to my friend's daughter at anytime. Her daughter also had things, like hoodies, that she never would have left behind if she had a choice. My friend would have said "all I know is she's not
in this house." It would have been the only thing she could say coherently that would have made sense to her.
Hope this helps some of you....again, for what it's worth.
