Do
Grieve.
Get Victims assistance.
Love your child.
Support your child.
Dont
Lie
Deflect
Cover-up
Obscure
Good list. I'd also add:
DO
VISIT YOUR CHILD IN JAIL, no matter who can see or hear you. Tell them you love them. Tell them you always will. Tell them to pray for guidance. Tell them to tell the truth.
GOOGLE The Unibomber's Family story.
DON'T direct anger and blame at those drug into this mess by the actions of you daughter-- the police, the friends, the innocent bystanders, the public.
DON'T try to get others blamed for what your child did.