TH's emails shed light on Horman split

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I thought this email deserved it's own thread. I haven't seen it before, so I don't think we've discussed it before. I saw on a previous thread it came up, but that thread was not specifically about this particular email, only the ones we haven't seen yet.

Here it is, from KATU:

In the April 6 e-mail obtained by KATU News, Terri writes the following about Kaine: “I have to ask him before I go out to meet anyone. I have no money because I stayed home with Kyron at birth since his natural mom wouldn't - spent all of my 30k to do so. …

“I am The one who was able to get him glasses (I noticed at 6 months when I was working with him but Kaine wouldn't go in to a doc until he was 2 years - yeah - he's farsighted 750)). He's on me about being fat. Wants me to do another show. Makes me pay $1000 a month to him for bills although it's my child support and unemployment. I do all the yard work, house work, mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters.”

E-mail: Terri Horman accuses Kaine of being overbearing
Video: http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?tab=video
Article: http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?



Interesting. There's not much she doesn't complain about here. Everything is Kaine's fault, even her having to contribute monetarily to the household for a fraction of what Kaine probably pays every month for the house, kids, and Terri. It's her own fault for not working that she doesn't have her own money. Sounds like she expected a free ride with no chores or anything and to keep her child support for herself. I wish I could have that life. How unrealistic is that today's world?

There are also a lot inconsistencies in this email. She says she had to ask him before going out to meet anyone, yet tells MC that all she had to was lie about baby K and then she'd get to go see him. I don't think she had a problem leaving the house when she wanted. Also, as pointed out, Desiree transferred custody to Kaine when Kyron was 1 and 1/2 to 2 years old. So how she could notice something they didn't when he was six months old when they didn't have custody of him yet? I highly doubt she was working with him at that point.

Sounds like she wanted as much sympathy as she could get, so why not blame everything on Kaine but the kitchen sink. No wait, add that too. This is all IMO, by the way.

What do you guys think? I'd love to hear your take on this particular email.
 
Hey, I started a new thread for Terri's email about Kaine since this thread is not about that particular email. I felt like it deserved it's own thread.
 
He left Desiree when she was PREGNANT with Kyron for Terri, while his behavior is despicable how about looking at the woman who got him to leave his pregnant wife, what kind of woman even can get with a man in good faith knowing he has a PREGNANT wife.

And yes, they probably didn't have the greatest relationship, most parents aren't chummy buddies with their ex's and confide their spouses dirty laundry, so this not shocking he was candid about Terris drinking with Desiree.

All his faults, are not as bad as hating a little child, like Terri appeared to.

BBM - and completely agree - of course!

I do feel that no, he wasn't candid about Terri's drinking with Desiree. Is it shocking? The DUI? IMO, I agree it's not "shocking", and it's not a word I used. This stuff Kaine's learned about Terri's drinking after-the-disappearance of Kyron that he puts out to the public via court? Yes - I speak only for myself, but that was a "shock" for me - that he didn't give Desi the private heads-up. IMO, it was a bit more than a "shock" for Desiree.

That Kaine & Terri fell in love ... well, that takes two ... and they chose to make it a long-term permanent, legal thing ... definitely takes two ... and who knows if Terri actually knew that Kaine had a pregnant wife when they fell for each other?

JMHO on all...
 
It almost sounds as if they had separate bank accounts? Perhaps that might be the reason Kaine had no knowledge of her hiring a landscaper/groundskeeper. (BTW, I'm not being critical of handling money that way because that's how we do it in my marriage)

I'm also really confused about when Kyron started living with Kaine and Terri full time. He spoke ever so briefly yesterday about his and Desiree's "parenting plan." I've never been divorced, so I don't know if that's a legal agreement or what.
 
Complain, complain, complain. Her life sucks because of everyone else. She wants sympathy for what most of us do on a regular basis. Apparently she thinks she should be taken care of instead of being an active participant in life and her marriage. If only things were the way she wanted them to be life would be perfect. I talked about characteristics of alcoholism on another thread because I have been sober 25+ years and although I can't say Terri is an alcoholic, only she can say that, I see alcoholic tendencies big time. Everyone else is to blame for her life being miserable except her. She is one angry person, and she's very angry that she's overweight. Let's face it, she went from being pretty spectacular to being a regular everyday Mom. She was having a hard time coping with being average. It's sickening to me to read this, and more sickening to realize that maybe her total selfishness has led to this tragedy.
 
I'm really leaning toward the idea that LE was behind this as a pressure tactic. Psychologically, it could really affect Terri to now see them "breaking up." Desiree spoke mainly about Kaine, but practically all of Kaine's presser was focused on Terri. He mentioned not only once, but twice, that the divorce was part of the investigation.
 
It almost sounds as if they had separate bank accounts? Perhaps that might be the reason Kaine had no knowledge of her hiring a landscaper/groundskeeper. (BTW, I'm not being critical of handling money that way because that's how we do it in my marriage)

I'm also really confused about when Kyron started living with Kaine and Terri full time. He spoke ever so briefly yesterday about his and Desiree's "parenting plan." I've never been divorced, so I don't know if that's a legal agreement or what.

It wasn't until DY got sick and went to Canada that they had him full time. A while back there was an article from which you could peice it together. Iirc, they had shared custody before DY got sick, and Kyron was in daycare during a lot of the time he spent with Kaine. He spent most (if not all) nights withy DY. I remember some were trying to figure out how much time TH could possibly have spent with Kyron during that period if he was in daycare much of the time. jmoo
 
You know, I don't see a thing wrong with her contributing the child support and unemployment to the household, since J was living in the household (at least until what, January? February?) and he had to be clothed, fed, sheltered in the household. Likewise, I don't get why she complained about contributing her unemployment. Did she think that the child support and unemployment were hers and hers alone to spend as she pleased, while Kaine's income was to pay all household bills, upkeep, expenses?

I think it's more ridiculous that she sent J. to live with her parents, and later with his bio father, meanwhile his adoptive father continued to pay support to her as late as April. I guess she considered J. to be her parents' financial worry after she sent him to Roseburg, and whatever money the adoptive father sent her was her fun money.
 
quote from above article: http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?
Makes me pay $1000 a month to him for bills although it's my child support and unemployment. I do all the yard work, house work, mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters.”
But she had time for the gym, drinking, gardners..................


I have no money because I stayed home with Kyron at birth since his natural mom wouldn't - spent all of my 30k to do so. …

another untruth.......BBM
 
I keep thinking about the red sports car with the vanity plates, the Hawaiian vacation, the gym membership, the expensive hobby (any competitive event is VERY expensive...entry fees, often private classes, outfits to enhance chances of winning)...the bottomless gas card that allowed her to drive a truck around for hours whenever she wished. How can she say she "had to ask him"...when we know her days were filled with hours that were unaccounted for...and she had "friendships (DeDe) that he knew little about.

The Facebook pictures showed a woman that looked well taken care of.

If he never gave her any money and she had access to none...how did she pay for the Landscaper (the yard work, not the hit job)

This woman has an overbearing sense of entitlement. But this email is just a sampling of her skewed mindset. Someday we'll read the emails where she blames a 7 year old child for all her problems.
 
quote from above article: http://www.katu.com/news/local/108352154.html?
Makes me pay $1000 a month to him for bills although it's my child support and unemployment. I do all the yard work, house work, mowing the lawn, cleaning the gutters
But she had time for the gym, drinking, gardners..................


I have no money because I stayed home with Kyron at birth since his natural mom wouldn't - spent all of my 30k to do so. …

another untruth.......BBM

and I wonder where she got *her* 30k. Lawsuit settlement, divorce settlement? I think we can say for sure it wasn't her savings from her actually working. Her employment history also becomes a little clearer to me based on this. Makes me think she'd go to work long enough to collect unemployment, and that's it. Explains why she had multiple kinda non-serious type jobs that she seemingly didn't hold for very long. Unless you can collect unemployment for years in Oregon, idk.
 
respectfully snipped...

I have no money because I stayed home with Kyron at birth since his natural mom wouldn't - spent all of my 30k to do so. …

another untruth.......BBM

What is her "30K?"
 
She sounds like a woman who feels "trapped" to me. Some of it is her own fears, and self doubt. I think she may have felt like he ruled the house and she was just there to take care of the kids and house, and had to pay to do it. I am not saying this is true, just what I hear when I read the emails. "Life is what you make it": that is my saying to myself.
 
What is her "30K?"

Is that what she got from the restaurant law suit? I also thought I read she settled something else too, but I think it was out of court, so no monetary amount was mentioned. It's probably from one of those.
 
I keep thinking about the red sports car with the vanity plates, the Hawaiian vacation, the gym membership, the expensive hobby (any competitive event is VERY expensive...entry fees, often private classes, outfits to enhance chances of winning)...the bottomless gas card that allowed her to drive a truck around for hours whenever she wished. How can she say she "had to ask him"...when we know her days were filled with hours that were unaccounted for...and she had "friendships (DeDe) that he knew little about.

The Facebook pictures showed a woman that looked well taken care of.

If he never gave her any money and she had access to none...how did she pay for the Landscaper (the yard work, not the hit job)

This woman has an overbearing sense of entitlement. But this email is just a sampling of her skewed mindset. Someday we'll read the emails where she blames a 7 year old child for all her problems.

bbm~

haha! yes, that's a question for another day.
 
Good catch puf.

Another way of looking at her "restrictions"-if she was a drunk and unkind to her step son, Kaine would want to know what she was doing and what she was up to when he couldnt be in the home with her. All spouses are expected to contribute monetarily in the last what 5-10 years in the present ecomony unless they are incredibly wealthy...jmo. For example, I had a friend who was disabled and stayed home with her children. Her SSDI check went into the joint bank account. As did her husbands paycheck. What's the deal?

And as to trying to inspire her to do another "show"-perhaps he was trying to get her out of her funk, PPD, whatever it might have been...to get her to care about something, socialize, get out of herself.

These are just alternate possible view points to what she wrote...
 
Not so hard to believe after reading this that she would resent Kaine and Kyron -- regardless of what she wrote happened or not. She believes it.
 
She sounds like a woman who feels "trapped" to me. Some of it is her own fears, and self doubt. I think she may have felt like he ruled the house and she was just there to take care of the kids and house, and had to pay to do it. I am not saying this is true, just what I hear when I read the emails. "Life is what you make it": that is my saying to myself.

Vacations to Disneyworld, Hawaii; sports car; country home on five acres; baby with new outfits every day; perpetual gym membership; dining out frequently, lunches with friends; family trips to the zoo and amusement parks---I know that money can't buy happiness, but her form of "trapped" was much more comfy than a lot of women's.

In her warped mind, she probably did feel trapped.
 
BBM - and completely agree - of course!

I do feel that no, he wasn't candid about Terri's drinking with Desiree. Is it shocking? The DUI? IMO, I agree it's not "shocking", and it's not a word I used. This stuff Kaine's learned about Terri's drinking after-the-disappearance of Kyron that he puts out to the public via court? Yes - I speak only for myself, but that was a "shock" for me - that he didn't give Desi the private heads-up. IMO, it was a bit more than a "shock" for Desiree.

That Kaine & Terri fell in love ... well, that takes two ... and they chose to make it a long-term permanent, legal thing ... definitely takes two ... and who knows if Terri actually knew that Kaine had a pregnant wife when they fell for each other?

JMHO on all...

Ok, but its a serious reach act like Terri once again was the unsuspecting victim and was floored that Kaine had a baby and a wife, I think Terri knew exactly what she was doing when it came to Kaine and she didn't care, that shows me a very, very unsavory person. Once again, I think Kaine is equally disgusting in that aspect, but it happened, its over, there is no looking back really, I just dont know why everything Terri related is dulled down to her not knowing, and being a victim, it gets so tiring.
 
Vacations to Disneyworld, Hawaii; sports car; country home on five acres; baby with new outfits every day; perpetual gym membership; dining out frequently, lunches with friends; family trips to the zoo and amusement parks---I know that money can't buy happiness, but her form of "trapped" was much more comfy than a lot of women's.

In her warped mind, she probably did feel trapped.

Yeah, I was just thinking if that is her idea of being trapped, I'd love to swap lives with her (without Kyron being missing, of course). Some people don't know how good they have it...
 
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