GUILTY NC - Maria 'Patty' Perez-Godinez, 15, Fuquay-Varina, 4 Aug 2011

BeanE

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Rest in peace, Patricia.
 
It is horrific enough to keep reading about adult women killed by their partners, but to hear more and more of it happening in teen relationships as well is just... I don't know, it makes me feel like women and girls are just viewed as expendable to some men. These young guys are learning it somewhere, this complete disrespect for women. We have cops in the news,for gods sake, people who are supposed to protect, saying that women who are raped ask for it... This attitude filters down. As a mom of three boys and a daughter, I try so hard to point out these stories, or take opportunities appropriate to age to show where we always need to re spect others, their bodies, their space, their worth as human beings no matter who they are or what they do, and how we need to love and respect everyone no matter their gender, their orientation, their race or class... But oh how hard it is when there is so much to counter. :sigh:

So sad for lovely Patricia. You deserved respect and love and a full life, free to become whatever you wanted. So sorry. :(
 
So sad.

Prayers for Patricia.

So young.
 
I'm 35 and when I was in my teens I had a controlling boyfriend, but i didnt see myself at the time as a victim. A lot of teen girls put up with the crazy boyfriends and see it as no big deal or even romantic. My ex threaten to kill me with a knife if I broke up with him. I never thought he would actually hurt me, but as I look back at it now he was unstable and could have killed me.

I dunno what is happening to our society. I have to remind my male friends and relatives that in hostile relationships it is so easy to blame the female. She nags, she likes to argue, she does this or that. When in reality, anyone can walk away from a toxic relationship. No relationship should get so heated to where people are verbally and physically harming themselves or others. Men are just as gulity as women of loving the drama of a crazy girlfriend. No one talks about this. If your partner knows how to push your buttons and is driving you crazy, leave her! If she gets in your face and wants to fight her, instead of punching, walk away. But some men hate to admit they love that kind of woman. No its easier to just blame her.
 
I'm 35 and when I was in my teens I had a controlling boyfriend, but i didnt see myself at the time as a victim. A lot of teen girls put up with the crazy boyfriends and see it as no big deal or even romantic. My ex threaten to kill me with a knife if I broke up with him. I never thought he would actually hurt me, but as I look back at it now he was unstable and could have killed me.

I dunno what is happening to our society. I have to remind my male friends and relatives that in hostile relationships it is so easy to blame the female. She nags, she likes to argue, she does this or that. When in reality, anyone can walk away from a toxic relationship. No relationship should get so heated to where people are verbally and physically harming themselves or others. Men are just as gulity as women of loving the drama of a crazy girlfriend. No one talks about this. If your partner knows how to push your buttons and is driving you crazy, leave her! If she gets in your face and wants to fight her, instead of punching, walk away. But some men hate to admit they love that kind of woman. No its easier to just blame her.

Awesome post, friend, thanks were not enough!

I'm 37 and like you I had one of those crazy boyfriends when I was a teen. Of course at that age I was dumb, and liked the drama. When I was older, I got into a relationship that actually did result in violence, but by then I was old enough to know better, got LE involved, and got the he$$ outta there. Not all are so lucky as I was - I had no kids tying me to him, a family to fall back on, etc.

I would love to see a domestic violence awareness unit added to JR High and High School health/sex Ed classes. Girls need to know that this behavior isn't romantic, or that a boys violent jealousy isn't a sign of his love for her, etc... And boys need to be taught respect that maybe isn't being modeled at home and on TV.

And you are so right about the men with the drama! How come if a woman does it, she's a bit@$ or a drama queen, but the man who stirs up the drama doesnt get these names? He's just maybe "rough around the edges", or "needs a good woman to rein him in" or something? Wat!? Big double standard out there. Why are these men following after women that they call nags or *advertiser censored* or whatever, until they hurt them in anger? Just go if it makes you angry to the point where you can't control yourself! I think they stay cause they like the drama too! :furious:
 
I'm 35 and when I was in my teens I had a controlling boyfriend, but i didnt see myself at the time as a victim. A lot of teen girls put up with the crazy boyfriends and see it as no big deal or even romantic. My ex threaten to kill me with a knife if I broke up with him. I never thought he would actually hurt me, but as I look back at it now he was unstable and could have killed me.

I dunno what is happening to our society. I have to remind my male friends and relatives that in hostile relationships it is so easy to blame the female. She nags, she likes to argue, she does this or that. When in reality, anyone can walk away from a toxic relationship. No relationship should get so heated to where people are verbally and physically harming themselves or others. Men are just as gulity as women of loving the drama of a crazy girlfriend. No one talks about this. If your partner knows how to push your buttons and is driving you crazy, leave her! If she gets in your face and wants to fight her, instead of punching, walk away. But some men hate to admit they love that kind of woman. No its easier to just blame her.

Awesome post, friend, thanks were not enough!

I'm 37 and like you I had one of those crazy boyfriends when I was a teen. Of course at that age I was dumb, and liked the drama. When I was older, I got into a relationship that actually did result in violence, but by then I was old enough to know better, got LE involved, and got the he$$ outta there. Not all are so lucky as I was - I had no kids tying me to him, a family to fall back on, etc.

I would love to see a domestic violence awareness unit added to JR High and High School health/sex Ed classes. Girls need to know that this behavior isn't romantic, or that a boys violent jealousy isn't a sign of his love for her, etc... And boys need to be taught respect that maybe isn't being modeled at home and on TV.

And you are so right about the men with the drama! How come if a woman does it, she's a bit@$ or a drama queen, but the man who stirs up the drama doesnt get these names? He's just maybe "rough around the edges", or "needs a good woman to rein him in" or something? Wat!? Big double standard out there. Why are these men following after women that they call nags or *advertiser censored* or whatever, until they hurt them in anger? Just go if it makes you angry to the point where you can't control yourself! I think they stay cause they like the drama too! :furious:



Was it said somewhere that Patricia was crazy, pushed buttons, drove people crazy, got in people's faces and wanted to fight, nagged, liked to argue, stirred up drama, etc?
 
I saw a Dateline or one of those shows recently where the mother of a teen victim (at the hands of her boyfriend) now lectures on domestic violence in teen relationships, which is growing at an alarming rate. (I am sorry not to recall the victim's name in this case, I believe she was from TX.) The mother said she was shocked to learn how many middle school and high school girls admitted to being abused by their boyfriends...
 
Was it said somewhere that Patricia was crazy, pushed buttons, drove people crazy, got in people's faces and wanted to fight, nagged, liked to argue, stirred up drama, etc?

Wow, that's quite a jump you made BeanE. No one said or even implied that she was or did any of those things. Burbqueen was talking domestic partner violence in general, and I was branching off on that discussion.

Edited to add - those were all examples of things that men will say when they are the violent agressors in a relationship.

But then, I think you knew that anyway, which leaves me wondering why the question.
 
I saw a Dateline or one of those shows recently where the mother of a teen victim (at the hands of her boyfriend) now lectures on domestic violence in teen relationships, which is growing at an alarming rate. (I am sorry not to recall the victim's name in this case, I believe she was from TX.) The mother said she was shocked to learn how many middle school and high school girls admitted to being abused by their boyfriends...

You got me googling for this mom, and while I didn't find her, I came across what looks like a great resource for schools and teachers, the Texas Dating Violence and Awareness Kit, at:

http://www.txssc.txstate.edu/healthyteendating.org/htd-toolkit

Has everything, lesson plans, posters, handouts, a model school week for a unit on it, etc. I'd love to see schools adopt this thorough of a program.

I remember seeing the stats a while back, on teen dating violence, and like you mentioned the mom was, I too was shocked at the numbers.
 
Wow, that's quite a jump you made BeanE. No one said or even implied that she was or did any of those things. Burbqueen was talking domestic partner violence in general, and I was branching off on that discussion.

Edited to add - those were all examples of things that men will say when they are the violent agressors in a relationship.

But then, I think you knew that anyway, which leaves me wondering why the question.

Okay. No, it wasn't clear to me at all that those were examples of things men who are violent aggressors say. Had that been clear to me, I wouldn't have asked.
 
You got me googling for this mom, and while I didn't find her, I came across what looks like a great resource for schools and teachers, the Texas Dating Violence and Awareness Kit, at:

http://www.txssc.txstate.edu/healthyteendating.org/htd-toolkit

Has everything, lesson plans, posters, handouts, a model school week for a unit on it, etc. I'd love to see schools adopt this thorough of a program.

I remember seeing the stats a while back, on teen dating violence, and like you mentioned the mom was, I too was shocked at the numbers.

The victim's name is Jennifer Ann Crecente...just found her. There is a website called jenniferann.org that tells about her death...she was from Austin, TX. Also her mom runs a group called "Jennifer's hope."
 
Man charged in stabbing of Fuquay-Varina girl is in U.S. illegally


Read more: http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/08/09/1401902/man-charged-in-stabbing-of-fuquay.html#ixzz1UcJvbso5

I was afraid of that. Some of the comments below news articles were already pretty ugly and volatile before it was even known for sure about the guy's immigration status. I hope this doesn't lead to anything further; I mean, just a glance at news would tell people that domestic violence/intimate partner violence/dating violence happens to and is committed by people across all different national/racial/ethnic groups. :sigh:
 

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