I am not Mormon, but shunning of apostates is practiced. I interpret that as judgment.
I'm back. I can see where it would seem that way. Actually, the opposite is true. We believe that with baptism and temple covenants, you make sacred promises to God. We believe you are accountable for those promises. When someone is excommunicated, it is a release from those covenants. Then, if they want to come back, they are given the opportunity to be rebaptized to take on those promises/responsibilities again.
Someone asked how I felt about Travis in light of what we have heard. My view is complex because I am also an attorney who represents families with kids who have his history. Being raised in a meth lab home for the first ten years is something you never get over. If you do not get love in your first 0-3 years from a caregiver, it is difficult to make up for the deficits which can occur. Often, in these kids, we see sexual behavior as a way to feel loved and attached. Since they may be afraid of the emotional commitment (because they were neglected or hurt when young), they may be much more comfortable with physical gratification as a means of meeting their need to be loved. As a result, these kids often have a much higher rate of sexual promiscuity regardless of religious faith.
Having said that, church is a hospital for sinners. I am one. He was leading a double life (my guess is that it would not have been popular in the predominantly Mormon/PPL world to be messing around to the extent he was - so from a sales perspective, it was probably smart to play the role of the 30 year old virgin). He was not living the covenants he had made. It appears he also apparently lied to his nice girlfriends about what he was doing.
If I was the mama of one of those girls, I'd be all over him - grin!
But, as a fellow Mormon, I would have loved him. I also would have welcomed Jodi into my home. I would have supported them in any way I could - even after knowing what they were doing. We all know the road they were on is not the road to happiness. Both of them appear younger than their chronological ages in many respects (I'd like to know her history). I would have done anything I could do to help both of them.
Now that Travis is gone, how do I feel? Sad. Knowing how he loved his siblings, I know he would not want for them to go through this. I am sure his heart must ache for all they are going through. He never would have wanted this for them.
But, aside from his family, how do I feel about what he did? We have a saying in the country regarding electric fences (that keep cattle in) - there are two kinds of people - some who believe you when you say the fence is hot and others who need to lick it before they will believe you.
What I am trying to say is there are many in the LDS faith who make it to marriage and have honored the law of chastity. There are also many who, for some reason, took another path. At the end of the day, many close to me have become great leaders in the church after they have gone on forbidden paths and felt the power of Christ's atonement and repentance. In fact, some of the strongest members/leaders I know have walked that road. They KNOW the power of the atonement and they have powerful testimonies. They would never recommend the road, but they are beautiful at helping others back on the path because they have been there themselves.
Travis never got to finish his life. He never got to decide if he wanted to repent or go see his bishop. We don't know the end and we can't judge. What we do know is that he was trying to get away from Jodi (the reason she killed him). What would another year or six months have brought? With his beautiful spirit and all he had overcome, I believe that without Jodi in his life, he would have been strong again in whatever he wanted.
Having said that, Travis was beautiful no matter what. He was and is a son of God. He was and is precious to his Father in Heaven. The greatest sadness I have is that his beautiful life was not preserved long enough to find out the great things he would do. JA was a detour in his life. She was not his life. He had great things to accomplish - inside the Church, as well as outside. I would have loved to see him have that chance.
In the end, I just have a special place in my heart for kids like Travis. I have seen the load they carry - they smile and laugh, but they have to overcome alot. I am proud of all that he accomplished. Given his history, I am not at all surprised by the things we have learned. I only feel pain that he did not get the opportunity to continue to fight and grow and become. I am sure we hadn't seen anything yet.
Just my two cents, for what they are worth.