TN - Gail Nowacki Palmgren, 44, Signal Mountain, 30 April 2011 - #9

believe09 said:

I cant speak for others, but I included speculation about Gail in my post, so I feel it is equally harmful for the children to read that she was on XYZ meds, may have been depressed/paranoid/crazy/suicidal, was murdered by their father or that she may have simply walked away from them.

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Everyone in life seems to have some sort of issues. It's just fact. I myself have gone on anti depressants years ago for some pretty major issues I was having in life. So was a considered "crazy" out of my mind? Had a mental issue?
Well, technically depression is a mental issue, but get it out there for the world to talk about and they can come up with all sorts of stories of how someone was unstable.
I still stick with a post I made a LONG time ago, GP did not seem unstable to me AT ALL, with the research she was doing to protect herself and possibly get out of her marriage (IMO) this shows someone thinking in their right mind.

I really just wish someone would throw us a bone, a small one to go on. Again all this time has gone by and we have NO new information which is so troubling. Where in the hell is that jeep!!!!!! And where is Gail?????

Everyday my thoughts turn to Gail, even though I've never met her.


I read up-thread that school has started in Signal Mtn. Do you think Gail would ever, of her own free will, miss her children's first day?

I don't.

Emeralgem said:

Just wondering WHY some feel it is so harmful to the children, IF we are suspicious of MP and voice our concerns about him being involved but there doesn't seem to be a problem when posting about Gail possibly being mentally unstable or even insinuating she just may have up and left, totally abandoning her children...JMHO

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I can't speak for anyone else, but personally, I have no problem with analysis and thinking through scenarios in trying to figure out what happened to a missing person. That includes thinking through scenarios of Matt possibly having harmed Gail, or had her harmed, whether or not Gail may had mental or emotional issues, etc, and siimilar - or other - issues in any case. And yes, even recognizing that that analysis and thinking through scenarios is likely painful to the missing person's loved ones.

What I have a problem with is the trashing, bashing, insulting, exaggeration, sensationalizing, rumors, gossip, etc.

The difference between the two, to me, is that the former seeks to be helpful, positive, and constructive, by trying to figure out what happened, and hopefully, come up with leads and tips that can be sent to LE.

The latter, in my opinion, does not hold any positive, constructive, or helpful value that I've ever been able to see.

There's a big difference too, in the way things are said. For example, certainly, saying "she just up and left and abandoned her children!" would certainly not be positive or constructive, and would certainly be more likely to cause pain to loved ones.

My opinion.

believe09 said:

I cant speak for others, but I included speculation about Gail in my post, so I feel it is equally harmful for the children to read that she was on XYZ meds, may have been depressed/paranoid/crazy/suicidal, was murdered by their father or that she may have simply walked away from them.

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I strongly disagree that saying those things are equally harmful. Saying someone's mom may have been depressed, for example, would not have near the negative impact on a child as saying their mom was crazy, IMO.

But... maybe it is all as bad. Personally, I take responsibility for what I say on the net, and its impact. I think a lot about what I say, and how I say it. There's much that I choose in these cases to say only privately, or to simply keep to myself.

My opinion, and I can only speak for myself.

Having been (unfortunately) in a position of having to discuss missing persons and what may have happened to them to a variety of different people who love and miss them- I've found that tact never harms- only helps.

I guess that might be a SAR thing- but I feel like it should hold true for internet postings as well... if not even more so.

For example- I do not know the Palmgrens. I may have a lot of background research on them, and I may have it from many different sources. However- regardless of what that information leads me to believe- sensitivity is an important component in searching for missing persons.

It is not only kind- but it is useful.

Information regarding missing persons sometimes comes from surprising sources. Ya'll know what I mean? It's never productive to close doors in an active investigation, imvho.

Oriah said:

Having been (unfortunately) in a position of having to discuss missing persons and what may have happened to them to a variety of different people who love and miss them- I've found that tact never harms- only helps.

I guess that might be a SAR thing- but I feel like it should hold true for internet postings as well... if not even more so.

For example- I do not know the Palmgrens. I may have a lot of background research on them, and I may have it from many different sources. However- regardless of what that information leads me to believe- sensitivity is an important component in searching for missing persons.

It is not only kind- but it is useful.

Information regarding missing persons sometimes comes from surprising sources. Ya'll know what I mean? It's never productive to close doors in an active investigation, imvho.

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Exactly..."tact" is key in any situation.

Praying for Gail, her children, her siblings and her friends who love and are missing her....Also praying for the truth to be revealed as to what has really happened to her..
Please God hear my prayer.

Oriah said:

Agreed BeanE (again, unfortunately.)

So.... would anyone mind going back to the Mountain Creek Rd grid b/t Glendale and Russell?

I just need to clarify that area.
Also would like clarification on the James Place grid and properties N and S of there.

TIA.

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You're back, Oriah! Are you able and willing to share with us any of the results of your other posts seeking information along the same lines as this post? You ask questions no one else on the GP threads asks, and you also have skills and abilities that are unique on the GP threads so I'm keenly interested in your perspective!

Emeralgem said:

Just wondering WHY some feel it is so harmful to the children, IF we are suspicious of MP and voice our concerns about him being involved but there doesn't seem to be a problem when posting about Gail possibly being mentally unstable or even insinuating she just may have up and left, totally abandoning her children...JMHO

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BBM

I'm going to go out on the limb here because I only know what I read on the GP threads and I'm childless by choice, but as I read your words, the idea formed in my mind that MP is currently with the children as their only parent in the household and perhaps some folks believe that he's got enough to deal with as the situation currently exists without his having to deal with negative concerns about his possible involvement with GP's disappearance (voluntary or otherwise) and her mental state at that time. Even though I'm advancing this idea should not be construed by anyone reading it to mean that I'm an adherent of my own idea because I'm not; I'm merely tossing it out into the mix for possible contemplation.....

KathyJ said:

Exactly..."tact" is key in any situation.

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This may not be PC or even nice, but here's my :twocents:

People can't help it if they don't admire MP or cast his role in positive terms. He lied and cheated on his wife. He lost his job due to an affair with a co-worker, who was also lying to her husband about why she wanted a divorce.

He waited crucial hours before he reported his wife missing.

And since she has been gone, he hasn't said a single positive thing about her. Nothing.

All of that and more has been reported in the MSM too, so it isn't rumor or speculation or merely bad-mouthing.

Therefore, that is why some of us don't feel guilty about our opinions of him, and why some of us will continue to discuss his role in his wife's disappearance.

He hasn't been an honorable man, so I feel sorry for his children, not because of anything we post or even anything on FB, but because they live with a man like that.

I personally don't like him. I don't see anything to like. And I think his attorneys are doing enough damage control without any help from us.

:cow: :cow: :cow:

Kiln Wood said:

BBM

I'm going to go out on the limb here because I only know what I read on the GP threads and I'm childless by choice, but as I read your words, the idea formed in my mind that MP is currently with the children as their only parent in the household and perhaps some folks believe that he's got enough to deal with as the situation currently exists without his having to deal with negative concerns about his possible involvement with GP's disappearance (voluntary or otherwise) and her mental state at that time. Even though I'm advancing this idea should not be construed by anyone reading it to mean that I'm an adherent of my own idea because I'm not; I'm merely tossing it out into the mix for possible contemplation.....

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Well, I agree he has alot to deal with from the SM police, the Hamilton County Police, the TBI, and the FBI.

Those searches must be taking a toll, but that's not our fault.

Compared to his other problems, I don't see Websleuths as ruining his relationship with his children.

KathyJ said:

I agree as well, but MSM and social outlets to me are two different things. MSM is not bashing the father and calling him names. It's just my opinion as well but I just see more name calling and anger on other sites than people putting their heads together to come up with some theories. I am not saying all of them, I see a few people really doing a hard job at trying to find her others just seem interested in tearing the family down as well as other posters on there. And do you honestly believe MP gives a hoot about what certain people think about him? I am going with a NO on that one, but he is not bashing anyone in public.

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BBM. No they are not; just the facts which are his own doing...they do report that an attorney "friend" of theirs in AL (who is now handling the BCBS fiasco for MP) stated that Gail was f----u. Per Matt's own attorney's words. Do you think Matt thought that was off color and inappropriate for his own attorney to put out there....for the children to read? I am going with a NO on that the one, because it was done to project a negative image on someone else (who is missing by the way) and not MP's image.

Matt's image was everything to him--first and foremost, imo. That was very apparent in the press conference. Damage control. However, that was blown to bits after it was announced he and TH had been having a an affair, frauded the company and were fired. Which Matt prolly already figured out was coming by the time of the presser. He hasn't spoken since---especially to LE to clear himself and put all this speculation to rest against him. Matt hasn't shown any angst to have the nerve to bash anyone, imo. JMO

Perhaps a local could tell me whether or not SB hosted a party at her SM home on March 18th? And who was in attendance?
TIA.

Emeralgem said:

Praying for Gail, her children, her siblings and her friends who love and are missing her....Also praying for the truth to be revealed as to what has really happened to her..
Please God hear my prayer.

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Amen and amen.

Kiln Wood said:

BBM

I'm going to go out on the limb here because I only know what I read on the GP threads and I'm childless by choice, but as I read your words, the idea formed in my mind that MP is currently with the children as their only parent in the household and perhaps some folks believe that he's got enough to deal with as the situation currently exists without his having to deal with negative concerns about his possible involvement with GP's disappearance (voluntary or otherwise) and her mental state at that time. Even though I'm advancing this idea should not be construed by anyone reading it to mean that I'm an adherent of my own idea because I'm not; I'm merely tossing it out into the mix for possible contemplation.....

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I can't speak for anyone else, only for myself. It seems in our society that many people feel sorry and cut breaks for men who care for their children without a partener. I've known too many women who care for their children alone, and struggled hard, to ever have been able to work up any sympathy and cut the guys any kind of break. If women can do it - and they do - then men can do it - just fine. And I've yet to find a man taking care of his kids without a partner who didn't have more family and friends rallying around to 'help' than many - if not most - of the women I've known.

My concern is always for the missing person and any children involved. I don't have a whole lot of emotional energy left after that, but if there are people in the missing person's life who obviously love them and are worried, of course, I can not help but have compassion for them. I need to put my energy toward the missing person first, and any kids though.

In this case, it is obvious there was no love lost between Gail and Matt. I don't think he's suffering in terms of missing her. I think he may have some worry and concern about her, but I think it's minimal. I think they just had gotten to the point where they disliked each other and were too angry with each other for that.

But the kids - the poor kids. I have to assume they love their mom. I have to assume they love their dad. Their mom has disappeared, and that is undoubtedly hard on them. I don't want any of the trashing and bashing and insults and rumors and gossips and just plain made up stuff to get back to the kids. They shouldn't have to deal with that on top of having to deal with their mom being gone.

If Matt did anything, LE will find it out, they will announce it, and that's the time for the kids to have to deal with it. Hopefully without the trashing and bashing etc. If that comes to be, the plain old facts will be hard enough for them to deal with.

I just wish people would think of those kids before they go pounding on their keyboards. Go say it in private to a friend. Protect the kids from any more pain and stress and sadness and confusion than they're already having to cope with. It's the right thing to do. It's the good thing to do. It's the kind thing to do. And there's no *need* to do anything else right now.

My opinion.

ThoughtFox said:

This may not be PC or even nice, but here's my :twocents:

People can't help it if they don't admire MP or cast his role in positive terms. He lied and cheated on his wife. He lost his job due to an affair with a co-worker, who was also lying to her husband about why she wanted a divorce.

He waited crucial hours before he reported his wife missing.

And since she has been gone, he hasn't said a single positive thing about her. Nothing.

All of that and more has been reported in the MSM too, so it isn't rumor or speculation or merely bad-mouthing.

snip to point

He hasn't been an honorable man,

snip to point

I personally don't like him. I don't see anything to like. And I think his attorneys are doing enough damage control without any help from us.

:cow: :cow: :cow:

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I agree with you on most of your points and viewpoints, ThoughtFox.

On not reporting Gail missing, I disagree though, because nobody else reported her missing either for those 2 days, and personally, I can't hold one person - even a reprehensible person - responsible for something I don't hold everyone else responsible for too.

I also disagree that Matt was fired because he was having an affair. From what's been reported, my understanding is that he was fired for misuse of company equipment and funds. That's theft. Corporate theft. No different from any other kind of theft, except that you usually don't see handcuffs being applied. I've dealt with it, had to put together the evidence and documentation for it. It's an ugly thing. People don't get as upset about it, it seems, as other types of theft, because they don't see it as personal, as hurting people - they see it as hurting a company, an entity. But it does hurt people. It hurts everyone else working for that company in so many ways - for example, there's less money to reward people who are honest and dedicated and responsible and doing a good job, and that's very personal.

Everything else above, I agree with. Matt's dishonest and irresponsible. On top of the above, if what Arlene has said is true, he verbally abused Gail, and did so in front of the kids. That's reprehensible in my book.

I don't want to further the debate about what should or should not be posted online, because of course we are all entitled to our own opinion.
But I would like to interrupt the flow a bit, by addressing the Palmgren's children:

Palmgren kiddo's... we are looking hard for your Mom!
Don't let it matter to you who says what about your Mom OR your Dad. Nothing that made your Mom go missing is your fault. And that's all that matters.

Stay strong, kids. We'll figure it all out. That's our job, not yours.

Peace-
Oriah

BeanE said:

I agree with you on most of your points and viewpoints, ThoughtFox.

On not reporting Gail missing, I disagree though, because nobody else reported her missing either for those 2 days, and personally, I can't hold one person - even a reprehensible person - responsible for something I don't hold everyone else responsible for too.

I also disagree that Matt was fired because he was having an affair. From what's been reported, my understanding is that he was fired for misuse of company equipment and funds. That's theft. Corporate theft. No different from any other kind of theft, except that you usually don't see handcuffs being applied. I've dealt with it, had to put together the evidence and documentation for it. It's an ugly thing. People don't get as upset about it, it seems, as other types of theft, because they don't see it as personal, as hurting people - they see it as hurting a company, an entity. But it does hurt people. It hurts everyone else working for that company in so many ways - for example, there's less money to reward people who are honest and dedicated and responsible and doing a good job, and that's very personal.

Everything else above, I agree with. Matt's dishonest and irresponsible. On top of the above, if what Arlene has said is true, he verbally abused Gail, and did so in front of the kids. That's reprehensible in my book.

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Hi Beane. IMO, Thoughtfox is accurate in saying he lost his job due to having an affair. It just wasn't the affair in and of itself that caused the termination, it was what he did to enable the affair that caused him to be fired.

Just throwing it into the mix.

JBean, not to change the subject at all- but do you possibly have any information regarding the location of the hardtop for Gail's Jeep?
TIA.

JBean said:

Hi Beane. IMO, Thoughtfox is accurate in saying he lost his job due to having an affair. It just wasn't the affair in and of itself that caused the termination, it was what he did to enable the affair that caused him to be fired.

Just throwing it into the mix.

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I agree that the affair was the catalyst for the wrongful actions that led to his termination.

I'm just not sure though, that absent the affair, Matt would not have still engaged in corporate theft, or that he did not engage in corporate theft prior to the affair.

People who think it's okay to take from companies, in my experience, think it's okay and do it no matter what else is going on in their lives. Again, I'm just basing that on my experiences in terminating employees for incidents of this kind.