Cemetery removes Iraq War vet's headstone (must see to believe)

This story just kind of astounds me, obviously the cemetery never should have agreed to it but still...amazing.

An Iraq War veteran's towering SpongeBob SquarePants headstone has been removed from her final resting place because officials at the historic Cincinnati cemetery deemed it inappropriate for their traditional grounds.

The headstone of Kimberly Walker, 28, was made in the likeness of her favorite cartoon character and erected at Spring Grove Cemetery on Oct. 10, almost eight months after she was found slain in a Colorado hotel room.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/10/2...ngebob-squarepants-headstone/?intcmp=trending

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Ok, I think it's adorable lol. Not my cup of tea, but having four kids, I've watched Spongebob since about 1999 and had a good deal of laughs over many of the episodes (personally, I'd have gone with a headstone that said "Here Lies Squidward's Hopes and Dreams", like the one he visits, bringing flowers, in the middle of the night in one episode :lol.

I am from a Catholic family, and so I've seen my fair share of tacky, bizarre, overly sentimental headstones and monuments in our cemeteries. Weeping Madonnas, gruesome crucified Christs, thin, effete looking Jesuses, skulls, chubby cherubs, carvings of people's faces, photos of people, favorite cars carved into headstones, Red Sox and Bruins logos.... You name it, you will find it in a Catholic cemetery. We are not a people known for good taste, lol (that'd be the Anglicans).

So this really would not bother me. In fact, as I often am struck, by many headstones, I'd be curious about the deceased, figure she had a fun personality and decent sense of humor. And it would definitely bring a smile to my kids' faces to see it.

Sounds like the cemetery folks are wayyyy to stuffy lol.

From what I read, it was a cemetery employee who either wasn't familiar with the regulations of this particular place, or didn't have the authority to give the go-ahead...

Kind of reminds me of country clubs that want to keep certain "undesirables" out, based on how they dress, their occupation, sexual orientiation, race, gender, you name it.

Everyone there is no longer living. If nothing else levels the playing field, that does.

Gardenlady said:

Ok, I think it's adorable lol. Not my cup of tea, but having four kids, I've watched Spongebob since about 1999 and had a good deal of laughs over many of the episodes (personally, I'd have gone with a headstone that said "Here Lies Squidward's Hopes and Dreams", like the one he visits, bringing flowers, in the middle of the night in one episode :lol.

I am from a Catholic family, and so I've seen my fair share of tacky, bizarre, overly sentimental headstones and monuments in our cemeteries. Weeping Madonnas, gruesome crucified Christs, thin, effete looking Jesuses, skulls, chubby cherubs, carvings of people's faces, photos of people, favorite cars carved into headstones, Red Sox and Bruins logos.... You name it, you will find it in a Catholic cemetery. We are not a people known for good taste, lol (that'd be the Anglicans).

So this really would not bother me. In fact, as I often am struck, by many headstones, I'd be curious about the deceased, figure she had a fun personality and decent sense of humor. And it would definitely bring a smile to my kids' faces to see it.

Sounds like the cemetery folks are wayyyy to stuffy lol.

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(above bbm)
The Amish have solved that problem: All the headstones in their cemeteries are exactly the same dimensions, shape, color, with the exact same script: name of deceased, date of birth, date of death. Nothing more, nothing less.
It's all part of their quest to stand apart from the rest of the world, and not embrace individuality, which they feel leads to trouble through extra attention.

oh_gal said:

(above bbm)
The Amish have solved that problem: All the headstones in their cemeteries are exactly the same dimensions, shape, color, with the exact same script: name of deceased, date of birth, date of death. Nothing more, nothing less.
It's all part of their quest to stand apart from the rest of the world, and not embrace individuality, which they feel leads to trouble through extra attention.

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I feel like I'd hate that kind of cemetery. :blushing: I can understand and respect their beliefs though. I just so much enjoy walking through the cemetery where my mom and dad are buried, and seeing everyone's stories. And seeing all the flowers and gifts people bring.

I definitely love the ticky tacky stuff too. Everyone's got a story, and it intrigues me to see how they or their families chose to be remembered. I and my kids would love to see Spongebob when we go visit my parents and grandparents graves.

Here are some other existing headstones and monuments at Spring Grove:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8729526@N02/sets/72157602777218047/

Personally, I like the Spongebob headstones.

from wikipedia:
"Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum (733 acres) is a non profit garden cemetery and arboretum located ... Cincinnati, OH . It is the second largest cemetery in the United States[2] and is recognized as a U.S. National Historic Landmark."
[ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring_Grove_Cemetery"]Spring Grove Cemetery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]

Is its NHL (not just on the register of historic sites) designation guiding the cemetery's actions?
The family had the two 7 foot tall markers placed there, after having received approval by an employee.
Cemetery official said the employee made "an inexplicable error in judgment" and
admitted fault and are prepared to reimburse the family for the cost of those markers,
and pay for new markers.
They are meeting w. the family to reach a solution.

I imagine any family would be furious about the situation, esp. in light of the 'approval.'
But imo cemetery is not being unfeeling and is not refusing to ack. mistake or not trying to stonewall.


For the poster who asked whether there might be 'country club' exclusionary mindset,
from the FAQs on cemetery's website,
Can you make special accommodations with regard to my religious affiliation? Does Spring Grove have a Jewish section? Muslim section? Catholic section?
"The Spring Grove Family welcomes all faiths and religions. Your advisor can assist you in arranging a funeral ceremony and final resting place that honors your affiliation. Our commitment is to provide you with quality services that are right for you, regardless of affiliation or non-affiliation."

http://www.springgrove.org/

The website also discusses a veterans area in the cemetery.
The MSM stories I've seen did not specify whether Walker was in the veterans area.

I really love Victorian era cemeteries, the art work and mausoleums are often so incredibly beautiful.

Having said that I can see how families would be upset if they had an elegant and tasteful family plot and then the folks next door put up a giant SpongeBob tombstone.

The cemetery NEVER should have given consent and to think 26,000 dollars was spent on that thing! I am guessing folks are complaining and the value of plots around that grave are plummeting (let us hope it is in a isolated area).

i.b.nora said:

Here are some other existing headstones and monuments at Spring Grove:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8729526@N02/sets/72157602777218047/

Personally, I like the Spongebob headstones.

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It makes me sad when I see cemeteries where there is no one around, no flowers, no gifts/trinkets at the graves.

That said, the monuments are pretty nice.

Sonya610 said:

I really love Victorian era cemeteries, the art work and mausoleums are often so incredibly beautiful.

Having said that I can see how families would be upset if they had an elegant and tasteful family plot and then the folks next door put up a giant SpongeBob tombstone.

The cemetery NEVER should have given consent and to think 26,000 dollars was spent on that thing! I am guessing folks are complaining and the value of plots around that grave are plummeting (let us hope it is in a isolated area).

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I understood that there were two (2) SpongeBob's made -- one for this lovely soldier, and one for her twin sister (who is still living), so it was $26,000 for two.

Still pretty impressive.

IME, some cemeteries have several sections with differing marker standards.
For example, within one cemetery,
---the Rose Garden may allow only flat/grade level markers, flush w. ground, max. size 2' x 2' ,
--- Proverbs Meadow allows markers up to 4' high and 2' wide,
---Lily Path section allows all the above markers plus life-sized statues of the deceased or
angels or religious figures, and marble or granite benches, etc.

I wonder if the employee approving the marker thought the two spongebob markers
would be placed in a section other than where the plots were actually located.
Or maybe mis-read the 7' size as 7" or something like that.

i.b.nora linked us to flickr w. oooooold looking markers at Spring Grove,
but I suspect those are not in the same section as the new spongebob markers.
As grave markers and headstones go, they are pretty.

Gardenlady said:

It makes me sad when I see cemeteries where there is no one around, no flowers, no gifts/trinkets at the graves.

That said, the monuments are pretty nice.

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I never considered myself old enough to say, "Back in the day....", but here goes...

Back in the day, families made more of an effort to go to the cemetery to "visit". My dh (age 55) told me that every Sunday, his family went to the cemetery to visit Grandma and Grandpa, weed around their headstones -- they actually brought a picnic lunch with them!

Now, we're all so busy.....busy, busy, busy (me, included).

oh_gal said:

I never considered myself old enough to say, "Back in the day....", but here goes...
<SNIPPED>

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O/T
Welcome to the BitD Club. :floorlaugh:
Despite being a large club, we're usually very friendly. :floorlaugh:

BTW, we don't normally allow people taking college math, business, or economics classes to join,
but as President of the local chapter of the National BitD Club, I've granted an exception for you.

Your first years dues have been waived.:floorlaugh:
Your membership card is in the mail. :floorlaugh:

p.s. We do not share our members' names or info w. AARP.

Pls return to the designated topic of this thread.

oh_gal said:

I never considered myself old enough to say, "Back in the day....", but here goes...

Back in the day, families made more of an effort to go to the cemetery to "visit". My dh (age 55) told me that every Sunday, his family went to the cemetery to visit Grandma and Grandpa, weed around their headstones -- they actually brought a picnic lunch with them!

Now, we're all so busy.....busy, busy, busy (me, included).

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I know! But you'll be glad to know that the one where my parents and grandparents are buried is VERY well visited and "done up" by families - even the really old graves of people who died quite a long time ago.

I used to go to my grandmothers about once a week, but since my mom, dad, and grandfather died I live about an hour away, so I am only there twice a month now. Everyone in the family keeps them weeded, we have some perennials in, and everyone is always bringing annuals. I do decorations for the seasons/holidays (right now they have colored corn, some little sparkly leave decorations you can stick in the ground, and little gourds.) My kids bring gifts like seashells for my dad, polished stones for my mom and grandmother, etc. I feel like I'm always there lol. Only one of my aunts doesn't go regularly, because she's still angry over the deaths - she always says "I don't know why you all go to the cemetery, no one's there!" :crazy:

It's nice because the whole cemetery is like that too. Always lots of people visiting, and all the graves are done up nice. This weekend I'm going to bring some little decorated skulls (like the sugar skulls). If I see anything interesting ill try to remember to take some photos.

Gardenlady said:

I know! But you'll be glad to know that the one where my parents and grandparents are buried is VERY well visited and "done up" by families - even the really old graves of people who died quite a long time ago.

I used to go to my grandmothers about once a week, but since my mom, dad, and grandfather died I live about an hour away, so I am only there twice a month now. Everyone in the family keeps them weeded, we have some perennials in, and everyone is always bringing annuals. I do decorations for the seasons/holidays (right now they have colored corn, some little sparkly leave decorations you can stick in the ground, and little gourds.) My kids bring gifts like seashells for my dad, polished stones for my mom and grandmother, etc. I feel like I'm always there lol. Only one of my aunts doesn't go regularly, because she's still angry over the deaths - she always says "I don't know why you all go to the cemetery, no one's there!" :crazy:

It's nice because the whole cemetery is like that too. Always lots of people visiting, and all the graves are done up nice. This weekend I'm going to bring some little decorated skulls (like the sugar skulls). If I see anything interesting ill try to remember to take some photos.

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(bbm)
It sounds like you have a really close-knit family, GL...(even the angry aunt -- all that anger is probably covering up a world of pain and tears). Sounds like your family has found a healthy way to keep your loved ones in your lives, as well as your hearts. :heart:

JMO but a headstone should be the family's decision. I see nothing tacky about the family choice.

oh_gal said:

I never considered myself old enough to say, "Back in the day....", but here goes...

Back in the day, families made more of an effort to go to the cemetery to "visit". My dh (age 55) told me that every Sunday, his family went to the cemetery to visit Grandma and Grandpa, weed around their headstones -- they actually brought a picnic lunch with them!

Now, we're all so busy.....busy, busy, busy (me, included).

Click to expand...

My mom, who's 63, tells me stories about how my grandparents took her and her siblings to the cemetery every Sunday and they also took a picnic lunch!! It always makes me smile and I've never heard anyone outside of my family tell that they also did that - it's nice to hear of other families having done that.

since the cemetery has agreed to pay for the cost of the stones plus the cost of new ones, they can keep the Spongebob ones at their house as a special reminder

I think it`s hideous but my opinion doesn`t matter - it was their personal choice and if the twin sister got one the same, then it obviously means a lot to their family

She must`ve been a racing fan too - I notice Jeff Gordon on Spongebob`s sleeve

i.b.nora said:

Here are some other existing headstones and monuments at Spring Grove:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8729526@N02/sets/72157602777218047/

Personally, I like the Spongebob headstones.

Click to expand...

I like the spongebob headstone too.

Sonya610 said:

I really love Victorian era cemeteries, the art work and mausoleums are often so incredibly beautiful.

Having said that I can see how families would be upset if they had an elegant and tasteful family plot and then the folks next door put up a giant SpongeBob tombstone.

The cemetery NEVER should have given consent and to think 26,000 dollars was spent on that thing! I am guessing folks are complaining and the value of plots around that grave are plummeting (let us hope it is in a isolated area).

Click to expand...

BBM

I agree that some are very beautiful art works, but some are just very, very tacky and almost unsightly. However, it's what the family wanted and so let it stay. I feel the same way about Spongebob. It's what the family wanted and just because it brings levity to a place that is only solemn because living people make it solemn doesn't make it wrong. JMO

oh_gal said:

I never considered myself old enough to say, "Back in the day....", but here goes...

Back in the day, families made more of an effort to go to the cemetery to "visit". My dh (age 55) told me that every Sunday, his family went to the cemetery to visit Grandma and Grandpa, weed around their headstones -- they actually brought a picnic lunch with them!

Now, we're all so busy.....busy, busy, busy (me, included).

Click to expand...

davehead21 said:

My mom, who's 63, tells me stories about how my grandparents took her and her siblings to the cemetery every Sunday and they also took a picnic lunch!! It always makes me smile and I've never heard anyone outside of my family tell that they also did that - it's nice to hear of other families having done that.

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BBM

I'm sorry, but the picnic lunch just seems a tad creepy. JMO :ghost:

MissJ said:

JMO but a headstone should be the family's decision. I see nothing tacky about the family choice.

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I agree.

I hate when people in charge of places or things get all snooty and deem things as "unacceptable" according to their opinion. That's why I hate HOAs and could never live in a neighborhood where they dictate everything, even how you decorate your yard or paint your house. Ok, that's my rant on that.

I see nothing wrong with the headstone. I mean , geez, it is that person's final resting place and their final mark on the world and I imagine it makes people smile or amuses them or at least makes them notice it, then that's just fine with me.

I love going to cemeteries and looking at the interesting tombstones. Living in Louisiana means that there are a lot of really interesting and gorgeous cemeteries here. Because we are below sea level here, a lot of graves are above ground. We enjoy our unique cemeteries, headstones, vaults, etc.

My birthday is All Saints Day, which is a big deal in Louisiana. It is the day when we all go to the cemetery and clean the tombs/graves and put out fresh flowers (usually huge mums). So my entire life, I have spent my birthday at the cemetery cleaning up the graves, wandering around looking at the other graves and exploring.

We would make a whole day of it, pack a lunch or snack and spend the day out there in the cemetery. All of my maternal and paternal relatives are buried there so there was lots to take care of. My gram insisted that flowers be put on the graves a few times each year.

My gram died last month but a few month before she died, we went to the cemetery to do our clean up, put out flowers and meet up with her sister to socialize for the day at the cemetery. i knew it would be the last time that Gram was able to do that so I took a few pics of her and her sister as they chatted and cleaned up and laughed over silly stuff.