Casey's Diary Entry for June 21st & Missing Pages #2

----------> big respectful snip!

Those kind of women osterize your insides. It takes will power to want to continue live from day to day. You wake up in tears
and fall asleep the same way. BUT as a young child SHE'S YOUR only mommy and you love her. It is so hard to grow up with EVIL unless you can reverse the letters and decide to LIVE!
----------> big respectful snip!

I really just wanted to point out this profound, wise and empowering thought for anyone whom has suffered abuse.
EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
... and stressed spelled backwards is desserts!
 
I do not believe the diary will be allowed at this late date. I did have a thought! Remember the garbage lady? She went and collected the Anthony trash ... LE seemed uninterested at the time. I could die a happy women IF those lost pages had been in that bag!! She had the opportunity to rip those pages out when realeased to return home the first time. THAT WOULD BE KARMA!

I want y'all to know I am only playing devil's advocate, trying to think what KC's thoughts may have been.
KC is a pathological liar. No one will ever believe anything she says ever. As far as CA I dont believe her accts of anything either, not the $40,000 KC stole, not her accts of 6/15 or any other day. That woman, CA is a female evil version of "A Great Mind" minus the IQ plus some estrogen!

THERE IS NO PLEASING a mom like that! I can not understand KC killing Caylee, I never will, BUT, if I had to chose to live on an island with one of them I'd pick KC hands down!

I dont know how to explain it other than I know what a mother like that is. The constant psychological abuse. The heartless stabbing comments one endures year after year. Then to have a child of your own, only to witness your own mother's interactions with THE biggest blessing you could bestow to your parent. To fear for your own childs safety, and to be forced to witness scenarios that you yourself probably endured while too young to understand or even remember. Your biggest conviction becomes to never become your mother! It is heart breaking to admit your own mother has no concern for any life other than her own. Oh yes she buys your kids stuff only to demean you!Those kind of women osterize your insides. It takes will power to want to continue live from day to day. You wake up in tears
and fall asleep the same way. BUT as a young child SHE'S YOUR only mommy and you love her. It is so hard to grow up with EVIL unless you can reverse the letters and decide to LIVE!

The diary is not needed, and will only prove to be a source of pointless pondering to confuse the jury.
LWOP for KC just may be better than having to deal with CA for years and years to come. Jail is one place CA can't control KC, or make her feel like she should never have been born. I would NOT kill my child but had I had to live with my mom's torture, it would have reached a boiling point, but I didn't have to. RIP mom 5/6/00. As much as I miss my mother! and long for just one more hug even if she was just doing it to impress someone else.... I know she will not affect my kids and hurt them like she did me.Don't know what my point was. Other than when the diary was written does not change the fact that None of us would want CA as a mom. KC was IMO trying to resolve somethin in her own mind, which does mean she was at least pondering her ideas and questioning herself. She gets 1 brownie point from me for that. plus LWOP.MOO

Ginger,
Did you live in my house growing up too? OMG! This is my exact story as well, except my mom is still alive. I just had to walk away as the cost for my family, my children, and not to mention myself was way too high and much too toxic. Fellow WS'rs, if you were fortunate enough to have a Mother who cared more about you than yourself - count yourself blessed, call your Mom (or say it out loud) and thank her for giving you the greatest gift a parent can give - Unconditional Love and Nurturance.

I have bolded your words that describe my experience(s). I understand every one of your points, and applaud you for your eloquant verbage! I think that you should know my boiling point came when my mom spent $25K on a credit card in my name and left me to pay the bill. I confronted her about being $165 in credit card debt (the same amt of money that went thru her checking account the previous year), I learned she not only spent all of her money, but mine, numerous banks, and many others as well. My last attempt to help her talk to an atty and look into filing for bankruptcy - she called LE on me as an unwanted person in her home (after she physically attacked me for the last time). I went out to the gutter in front of her house, waited for LE - explained the situation and left when they told me to stay away from her home. I will never go back.

I am disclosing all of this because it fits CA to a tee. I have had the same experience as you and KC growing up - however we chose different paths. We chose to protect, nurture, provide unconditional love to our children. KC did not. KC chose her own needs, wants, and desires de jour, and that is what infuriates me most of all. I would never want my mother to raise my children, however if I felt that I could not do a good enough job, I would have reached out to their Dad or his family. KC had this option and was too selfish to do that for her child. Just because we didn't get our cup filled by our Mother - doesn't mean that we must suck off of everyone else's cups. Ginger, the one factor that we had (I am sure you will confirm this to be true) that KC probably did not have - was ONE caring, healthy adult in our lives that was able to model normal behavior enough for us to understand that our Mother's were Not normal. We had an understanding that people could put our needs before theirs when we were children - and that is the difference that made a difference.
 
wenwe4 and gngr~snap, :therethere: and :grouphug: and I'm so thankful you two were strong enough to make it through those bad times. I'm grateful you're both here with us and can give insight into what issues a family dynamic like that can create. :heartluv:
 
Both messages sent on Monday January 24, 2011

From YM to TL

Hello,

Please have Tony Jr. look at the attached photo of a book cover and reply regarding whether it looks familiar from the time Casey spent at his apartment in June/July of 2008.
(end)

From TL to YM
Hello Corp Melich,

I showed the photo to my son and he doesn't recall seeing that book at all.

Best regards,
Tony Lazzaro
(end)

I do not now if it is the "diary of days" that is being referenced in this doc but if it is, one of my theories goes out the window. I had said, I thought the June 21st entry(2008!) had been 'penned' whilst at Tony's apartment.

Maybe Tony did not see the book because Casey felt compelled to write only when there was no one else around to provide attention?

Again, I do not know if this is the same "book", or not? TIA.

:websleuther:
 
Both messages sent on Monday January 24, 2011

From YM to TL

Hello,

Please have Tony Jr. look at the attached photo of a book cover and reply regarding whether it looks familiar from the time Casey spent at his apartment in June/July of 2008.
(end)

From TL to YM
Hello Corp Melich,

I showed the photo to my son and he doesn't recall seeing that book at all.

Best regards,
Tony Lazzaro
(end)

I do not now if it is the "diary of days" that is being referenced in this doc but if it is, one of my theories goes out the window. I had said, I thought the June 21st entry(2008!) had been 'penned' whilst at Tony's apartment.

Maybe Tony did not see the book because Casey felt compelled to write only when there was no one else around to provide attention?

Again, I do not know if this is the same "book", or not? TIA.

:websleuther:

bbm
yes it is..The Last page of that discovery there is a photo of the diary

http://www.wesh.com/pdf/27161635/detail.html

The email with the picture of the Diary was also sent to Cameron and he did not remember having seen it either..
 
http://www.wesh.com/pdf/27161355/detail.html

January 2011 Request Carpe Diem

Yuri Melich asked examiner to conduct a keyword search for references between June 16-27 2008 for words written in a diary
the HP and Compaq laptop were searched for the terms "regrets" , "seize the day", "I am finally happy", "new beginning", "carpe", and "diem".

A reference to "new beginning" was found in the Media Player last accessed July 16, 2008
The term references a music file that was saved to the Owner/Desktop/Casey folder

This is what I found based on the above

Good Charlotte album "The Young and Hopeless" released 2002

Song "A New Beginning"


Hard days made me, hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they called nothing
I take what I want
Take what I need
They say it's wrong but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me

And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
and if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care

Benji:
And no one in this industry
Understands the life I lead
When I sing about my past
It's not a gimmick, not an act
These critics and these trust fund kids
Try to tell me what punk is
But when I see them on the streets, they got nothing to say....

And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
If I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care, now I don't care

I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
That I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
 
Both messages sent on Monday January 24, 2011

From YM to TL

Hello,

Please have Tony Jr. look at the attached photo of a book cover and reply regarding whether it looks familiar from the time Casey spent at his apartment in June/July of 2008.
(end)

From TL to YM
Hello Corp Melich,

I showed the photo to my son and he doesn't recall seeing that book at all.

Best regards,
Tony Lazzaro
(end)

I do not now if it is the "diary of days" that is being referenced in this doc but if it is, one of my theories goes out the window. I had said, I thought the June 21st entry(2008!) had been 'penned' whilst at Tony's apartment.

Maybe Tony did not see the book because Casey felt compelled to write only when there was no one else around to provide attention?

Again, I do not know if this is the same "book", or not? TIA.

:websleuther:

I won't be writing it off simply because TonE didn't see her with it. IMO, KC was portraying herself to TonE as a "hip, chic, together" young single mom with an important job as an events coordinator who could work remotely from her laptop if needed, and still keep the house clean, do the shopping, and fix dinner for him and his buddies whilst fetching them beers. NO WAY would she have wanted him to see her keeping a diary or journal. Too childish an act for someone as together as Little KC A! All MOO, with a touch of sarcasm sprinkled on. :innocent:
 
http://www.wesh.com/pdf/27161355/detail.html

January 2011 Request Carpe Diem

Yuri Melich asked examiner to conduct a keyword search for references between June 16-27 2008 for words written in a diary
the HP and Compaq laptop were searched for the terms "regrets" , "seize the day", "I am finally happy", "new beginning", "carpe", and "diem".

A reference to "new beginning" was found in the Media Player last accessed July 16, 2008
The term references a music file that was saved to the Owner/Desktop/Casey folder

Good Charlotte album "The Young and Hopeless" released 2002

Song "A New Beginning"


Hard days made me, hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they called nothing
I take what I want
Take what I need
They say it's wrong but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me

And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
and if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care

Benji:
And no one in this industry
Understands the life I lead
When I sing about my past
It's not a gimmick, not an act
These critics and these trust fund kids
Try to tell me what punk is
But when I see them on the streets, they got nothing to say....

And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
If I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care, now I don't care

I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
That I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care
I don't care

*jaw drops*

Wow. One month or so after she kills Caylee, she listens to THIS song, possibly? Hmmm, and it's got the line "I'm angry at my father" too. Wow. I wonder if this is how she knew how long Caylee had been dead for? Was this her one month anniversary reminder for what she did?
 
I won't be writing it off simply because TonE didn't see her with it. IMO, KC was portraying herself to TonE as a "hip, chic, together" young single mom with an important job as an events coordinator who could work remotely from her laptop if needed, and still keep the house clean, do the shopping, and fix dinner for him and his buddies whilst fetching them beers. NO WAY would she have wanted him to see her keeping a diary or journal. Too childish an act for someone as together as Little KC A! All MOO, with a touch of sarcasm sprinkled on. :innocent:

Yeah, and it wasn't her book he was interested in while she was there either. I doubt he remembered much of anything she had while in his apartment...
 
*jaw drops*

Wow. One month or so after she kills Caylee, she listens to THIS song, possibly? Hmmm, and it's got the line "I'm angry at my father" too. Wow. I wonder if this is how she knew how long Caylee had been dead for? Was this her one month anniversary reminder for what she did?

Chilling. I wonder if she listened to it on July 16, expecting that she would soon be arrested (as LE was hot on her trail) as a little morale boost for herself?
 
Chilling. I wonder if she listened to it on July 16, expecting that she would soon be arrested (as LE was hot on her trail) as a little morale boost for herself?


Yes, actually she did!
 
*jaw drops*

Wow. One month or so after she kills Caylee, she listens to THIS song, possibly? Hmmm, and it's got the line "I'm angry at my father" too. Wow. I wonder if this is how she knew how long Caylee had been dead for? Was this her one month anniversary reminder for what she did?

I don't know exactly how it works but this is what the forensic report says about that file and I believe this references the song because it is retrieved from the Media Player

File Created 05/28/06 01:43:11PM
Last Accessed 07/16/08 05:01:12AM
Last Written 07/16/08 05:01:12AM


Someone was on the HP Pavillon computer accessing the Media Player and this song at 5:01AM on July 16th...
 
Chilling. I wonder if she listened to it on July 16, expecting that she would soon be arrested (as LE was hot on her trail) as a little morale boost for herself?

Yes, actually she did!

I believe she listened to it as well at 5:01AM on July 16...

George and Cindy maybe this is WHY Casey did not, as you state, sleep that night ..she was on the computer listening to music, texting boyfriend TonE and then speaking to him in the phone
:twocents:
 
http://www.wesh.com/pdf/27161355/detail.html

Another mp3 file for HP Pavillon computer
No Date Given or Found/Original file deleted
Documents and Settings\Owner\Desktop/casey/Avenged Sevenfold\-Seize the Day.mp3

I found this
Avenged Sevenfold Album "City of Evil Released" in 2005
" Seize the Day"


Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These's streets we traveled on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(guitar solo)

So what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again? Whooooah
So I never want to leave you and the memories OF us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home) x2

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
 
These lyrics call to my mind those thousands of icon images she had downloaded. Both give an eerie glimpse into her state of mind, IMO. <shivers>
 
http://www.wesh.com/pdf/27161355/detail.html

Another mp3 file for HP Pavillon computer
No Date Given or Found/Original file deleted
Documents and Settings\Owner\Desktop/casey/Avenged Sevenfold\-Seize the Day.mp3

I found this
Avenged Sevenfold Album "City of Evil Released" in 2005
" Seize the Day"


Seize the day or die regretting the time you lostIt's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with timeBut I'm too young to worry
These's streets we traveled on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'll do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?
I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one PICTURE)

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real
(guitar solo)

So what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again? Whooooah
So I never want to leave you and the memories OF us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time You lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
) x2
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)

bbm - Wow!!!

KC - Just give me one more day.
CA - I've already given you a month.

KC - off singing - "no chance for one more day".

creepy considering all of the skull and heart and death images on her computer.

goose bump shivers.
 
BTW
There is a New Thread that has been created to discuss the computer forensics and the songs

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130604"]2011.03.11 ICA Songs/Diary Entries-Computer Forensics Released - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]
 

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