'Class clown's' dad forces son to hold sign about bad grades at intersection

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butwhatif?

butwhatif?

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MIAMI —

The seventh-grader's father said it's punishment for being a class clown and failing three classes.
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http://www.wftv.com/news/news/local/class-clowns-dad-forces-son-hold-sign-about-bad-gr/nLQ4Q/

This first link has very little information, but has a photo of the sign which I see as significant. More on that later.....

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Student holds sign as punishment for bad grades

SOUTHWEST MIAMI-DADE, Fla. (WSVN) -- A South Florida middle school student had his punishment on display at a Kendall intersection after receiving bad grades in school.

<The boy> stood outside the busy intersection wearing a sign as punishment on Saturday, after bringing home several failing grades.

The front of the seventh grader's sign read: "Hey, I want to be a class clown. Is it wrong?"

The back of the sign says: "I'm in the 7th grade and got 3 F's. Blow your horn if there's something wrong with that."

A few days before <the boys> spring break, his report card showed he was failing three classes. "Civics, language arts and math," said <the boy>.

<The boys> father hopes <the boy> will learn a lesson and understand the importance of getting good grades. "I don't know any other way, I'm trying to reach him. He doesn't want to be reached, and this is my last resort," said Michael Bell Sr.

In addition to the bad grades, <the boys> teachers told his parents he is a little bit too much of a class clown. "If you don't do right then you get a lot of stuff taken from you," said <the boy>.
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Read more: http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/l...n-as-punishment-for-bad-grades/#ixzz1p1tt4kBe


So not only is this this grade 7 boy being humiliated locally, he's being humilated internationally now that it's in the media.

The father said he did this as a 'last resort'. I'd really like to know what other methods he's attempted.

He failed maths and language arts. The two most common things to fail if you have a learning disorder. And it is classic for them to act out and play 'class clown' to try to cover their weaknesses, especially when they are undiagnosed.

The sign says it all for me. Look at the mix of upper and lower case lettering throughout, and the various errors in punctuation.

I can't say for certain that the boy was the one who wrote it, but I can't imagine the dad doing it for him. And if it was written by dad, then maybe he needs to look at his own literacy skills.

Maybe this dad and the boys teachers need to look at the possibility that they failed the boy by not picking up on the fact that he may need extra help.

If he does have learning difficulties this is the absolute worst thing they can do...have more people poke fun at him for not having good grades.

Even if it's not due to a LD, I think his Spring break would be the perfect opportunity for dad to sit down and work with his son on the areas he is failing, instead of standing at an intersection with a humiliating sign hung over his body.

JMO :moo:
 
There is nothing long with a little humility (or humiliation if warranted). JMO Just like there is nothing wrong with a little shame. They are useful emotions in some situations.

Sheltering children from it leads to self centered under achievers. IMO


You went down the road of 'learning disability' when there was no mention of that whatsoever.
 
Well...
It makes a change from reading about a father using a skillet, belts, electrical cords and duct tape to get his point across, doesn't it?

I think this man cares about, and is concerned, for his son. There are too many that we read about who have no one in their corner.

Right or wrong, parents who do care for their children only do what they feel is best at the time. We all make mistakes...if indeed this is one. I'm personally a bit grateful Dad isn't blaming his son's behavior on the teachers, school, society, etc.
 
EGirl said:
There is nothing long with a little humility (or humiliation if warranted). JMO Just like there is nothing wrong with a little shame. They are useful emotions in some situations.

Sheltering children from it leads to self centered under achievers. IMO


You went down the road of 'learning disability' when there was no mention of that whatsoever.
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If the child were just misbehaving, I might tend to agree with you, but learning disabilities should be ruled out as to why the kid needs so much attention...
 
BritsKate said:
Well...
It makes a change from reading about a father using a skillet, belts, electrical cords and duct tape to get his point across, doesn't it?

I think this man cares about, and is concerned, for his son. There are too many that we read about who have no one in their corner.

Right or wrong, parents who do care for their children only do what they feel is best at the time. We all make mistakes...if indeed this is one. I'm personally a bit grateful Dad isn't blaming his son's behavior on the teachers, school, society, etc.
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bbm Bravo --- I completely agree. I get so incredibly tired of dealing with 22 year old overgrown children who are so self-entitled it is not even funny. They cannot do basic mathematics, and they truly think we should hand out Bachelors of Engineering just because they show up. I don't think so.

Life is not full of cupcakes. We do children a complete disservice by not showing them consequences and responsibilities from an early age.
 
...Dad does seems to care. Granted he is not the most subtle, but I love that he actually worries more about kiddo's academic performance than about the 1,000,0000 in one billion chances of him becoming an Oscar nominee, a basketball sensation, a hip hop icon, you name it. Dad knows life is like a box of youknowwhats.
 
seattlechiquita said:
bbm Bravo --- I completely agree. I get so incredibly tired of dealing with 22 year old overgrown children who are so self-entitled it is not even funny. They cannot do basic mathematics, and they truly think we should hand out Bachelors of Engineering just because they show up. I don't think so.

Life is not full of cupcakes. We do children a complete disservice by not showing them consequences and responsibilities from an early age.
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Bravo to you both and I agree. We make way too many excuses for kids today. I'm glad he has a parent that is making him responsible and my prayers are with them both.
 
seattlechiquita said:
bbm Bravo --- I completely agree. I get so incredibly tired of dealing with 22 year old overgrown children who are so self-entitled it is not even funny. They cannot do basic mathematics, and they truly think we should hand out Bachelors of Engineering just because they show up. I don't think so.

Life is not full of cupcakes. We do children a complete disservice by not showing them consequences and responsibilities from an early age.
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Where do you teach/work that admits kids who fail basic math to an engineering program? I think the problem you note starts long before graduation.
 
For the record, it is quite easy to believe that children need consequences and still believe that public humiliation isn't an effective method. For one thing, some kids will just enjoy the attention. For another, more sensitive kids may internalize the shame to the point it becomes who they are.

Withholding privileges is a better method. It teaches cause-and-effect without applying a label that the kid may carry with him forever.
 
In this particular case, a more effective way to go would be -make him study for whatever subjects he failed.
 
Nova said:
For the record, it is quite easy to believe that children need consequences and still believe that public humiliation isn't an effective method. For one thing, some kids will just enjoy the attention. For another, more sensitive kids may internalize the shame to the point it becomes who they are.

Withholding privileges is a better method. It teaches cause-and-effect without applying a label that the kid may carry with him forever.
Click to expand...

Although I think he could find a better method, withholding privileges often does no good. My grandson went from straight A's one semester to 3 F's the next. His parents took away everything but he didn't care. We moved him to private school and limited his access to his old school mates. He's back to all A's and B's and his attitude has changed drastically.
 
jjenny said:
In this particular case, a more effective way to go would be -make him study for whatever subjects he failed.
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ITA....which is why I noted that in the OP. This is just time-wasting and is doing nothing to address the issue of improving his grades, regardless of why he failed.

JMO
 
EGirl said:
There is nothing long with a little humility (or humiliation if warranted). JMO Just like there is nothing wrong with a little shame. They are useful emotions in some situations.

Sheltering children from it leads to self centered under achievers. IMO


You went down the road of 'learning disability' when there was no mention of that whatsoever.
Click to expand...

I am very much against using humiliation or shame as a punishment. Some might be unavoidable in certain situations but it shouldn't be the main objective of whatever the parent is doing.

For example, I think it's great if a parent tells the child they will be going to school with them and sitting next to them in class for a week to make sure they behave. That is embarrassing but the point is not to shame the kid but to let them know mom or dad are on it, are watching and involved and will take charge if the child won't.

Otherwise, I think it's easy: Kid doesn't do what he's supposed to do in class? Won't do homework, study or pay attention in class? All privileges are taken away. That means extracurricular sports, dance, music lessons, whatever. It means t.v., phone privileges and computer time, except for classwork. It also means hanging out with friends. Things start to come back once progress reports improve.

If that doesn't work, everything the kid has is taken away. They get one pair of plain sneakers, one pair of jeans, a couple of plain t-shirts and a jacket. They get a mattress on the floor but everything else is taken out. Mom and dad pay for it, not the kid.

Of course, I agree that if the child is doing poorly, everything has to be ruled out. A conference with the teacher to make sure the child is not having learning difficulties, a talk with the kid to make sure they are not suffering from some secret problem like depression, bullying or abuse. But once all of that is ruled out, it's crack down time.

Shame just does not need to be a part of it.
 
Instead of standing out in the intersection, the boy should be home studying. Humiliation to me is the wrong approach. Dad should be sitting down with him making him read out loud and then dad should conduct a question and answer session. The boy isn't getting something and dad needs to find out what it is now while he is still young.
 
Maybe if Dad clarified what he already tried, it would be easier to judge him at a distance. Some kids do not respond to the various techniques that might be more "sensitive" and maybe he truly has tried "everything." Not advocating this method, as I doubt it will change the kids grades, but not sure we can assume Dad didn't try the other more conventional measures first, either. JMO
 
Reality Orlando said:
Although I think he could find a better method, withholding privileges often does no good. My grandson went from straight A's one semester to 3 F's the next. His parents took away everything but he didn't care. We moved him to private school and limited his access to his old school mates. He's back to all A's and B's and his attitude has changed drastically.
Click to expand...

Great idea! I'm glad ya'll had the resources to make that change.

But in a sense, that is a form of "withholding privileges": you withheld his privilege to hang with his friends. In the process, you also seem to have removed some bad influences from his life, so well done, parents and grandparents!

For all I know, your grandson may have "felt" the school change was embarrassing, but that's not the same thing as deliberately shaming a child in public.

If public shaming worked, all crime would have ended back when the Puritans clapped offenders in stocks in the village square.
 
This is why i believe in vouchers. Parents who can't afford private school should have a choice to get their kids into a better environment.
 
Nova said:
Great idea! I'm glad ya'll had the resources to make that change.

But in a sense, that is a form of "withholding privileges": you withheld his privilege to hang with his friends. In the process, you also seem to have removed some bad influences from his life, so well done, parents and grandparents!

For all I know, your grandson may have "felt" the school change was embarrassing, but that's not the same thing as deliberately shaming a child in public.

If public shaming worked, all crime would have ended back when the Puritans clapped offenders in stocks in the village square.
Click to expand...
And slapped scarlet A's on their foreheads for adultery. I had the exact same line of thinking as you!
 
Reality Orlando said:
This is why i believe in vouchers. Parents who can't afford private school should have a choice to get their kids into a better environment.
Click to expand...

Even kids who go to the best schools are troubled. Sometimes it's the kids they hang around with. Sometimes the ones with money are worst because they can afford to buy all the bad things. You need to find out why your kids are having a hard time. Open the lines of communications. Easy said then done, I know.
 
Nova said:
Great idea! I'm glad ya'll had the resources to make that change.

But in a sense, that is a form of "withholding privileges": you withheld his privilege to hang with his friends. In the process, you also seem to have removed some bad influences from his life, so well done, parents and grandparents!

For all I know, your grandson may have "felt" the school change was embarrassing, but that's not the same thing as deliberately shaming a child in public.

If public shaming worked, all crime would have ended back when the Puritans clapped offenders in stocks in the village square.
Click to expand...

Sometimes the fact they have a clean slate helps. Nobody knows them and they can get rid of the bad attitude and become their normal self, and don't have to impress the old crowd.
 
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